Chapter Five – The Same Old Story
EPOV
I'm the last one to arrive at Eclipse, our usual post-work haunt.
The bouncer lets me in with a smile, recognizing me as one of the regulars. Eclipse is a two story bar and dance club with great drinks and music. It's the perfect place to unwind after a particularly hard day at the office or even, in the case of today, a particularly good one. I make me way up the metal spiral staircase to the balcony level where my friends from the office and I usually meet up. Rose waves to me from a table near the railing of the balcony and I make my way over to her.
I'm met with a chorus of "Hello, Edward!" and order a gin and tonic when the waitress makes her way over to ask what I want.
"So, I hear Monster Boss finally chose a new victim," Sam, another lawyer, jokes to me.
"God help her," Garrett, my paralegal, laughs.
"Laugh it up, assholes. I think it's going to work out this time," I say smugly.
"It better for your sake," Rose says sipping her drink. "I'd hate for Emmett to beat the shit out of you should things go wrong."
I look over to Rose's fiancé, Emmett McCarty. I consider myself to be in pretty good shape, but Emmett's huge, bulging muscles huge. He towers over me completely and I have no doubt that he could kick my ass with his eyes closed. I also know that he and Bella grew up together, so that threat is entirely plausible. I choke a little on my next sip, but mask it with a cough.
"Edward knows better than that, Rose," Emmett boasts playfully. "But honestly, Edward thanks for helping her out. Bella needed something to get her back on track and I know this will be perfect."
"Glad to help, Em. She seems like the type with a bright future ahead of her and I'm more than happy to give her whatever stepping stone she needs."
"I still say she's needs a miracle to put up with this jackass' OCD," Sam laughs.
Garrett reaches over to high-five him on a job well done and I satisfy myself by flipping them off.
As stressful as my job can get, the friends I've made over the years are just one of the many perks. A lot of people assume that as lawyers we're all cut-throat, power hungry douche bags (or bitches in Rosalie's case). It couldn't be farther from the truth though. Sure, things may get heated in a courtroom setting, but I've never met a group of better people than the ones sitting with me in my entire life. We all kind of meld together into a little dysfunctional family of sorts. It's nice to have a support system, especially when things are particularly bad at home.
Rose's laughter brings me back to the conversation at hand.
"I hate to say it, well actually that's a lie, I love to say it, but they're right, Edward. You can be a total ass sometimes."
"Okay, are we done playing with my faults? I'm not OCD, Sam," I mutter.
"You're right, just picky as fuck," Garrett laughs.
"Where's that waitress? I need another drink," I joke.
"Watch yourself, tough guy. The only thing worse than you on a normal day is you hung over," Sam chastises.
I shake my head as the table loses itself to laughter. I'm not unaware of my reputation around the office and it is true that I've been through more assistants in the last year and half than most go through in their entire career. I just haven't found anyone that I clicked with just yet, but I'm hoping that's all about to change. I let my mind drift to Bella for a moment. I just smile; I'm actually looking forward to the busy day ahead of me tomorrow.
We sit around for about an hour, bullshitting and enjoying ourselves. Luckily the conversation turns to Garrett and poking fun at his getting caught with his girlfriend Kate in the copy room last week, getting me off the hook.
"Where is Kate tonight anyway, Garrett? Waiting for you in the break room?" Sam laughs.
"Very funny, Samuel. For your information, she's at her sister's house getting ready for her niece's birthday party next weekend, dick." Garrett responds.
He's red as a tomato and I'm actually having a good time when I see Rose's expression quickly change.
"Bitch alert, ten o'clock," she mutters into her glass.
"Hey, Tanya! Over here!" I hear Sam call out.
I turn around and see my wife looking around the crowded upper level for us. She seems annoyed, but far less pissed off than I left her this morning, which I guess, is an improvement. I get up and grab an extra seat from the empty table next to us, placing it next to myself. She plasters on a smile and makes her way over to us.
"Hey, sweetheart," I say kissing her cheek.
"Hi, baby. Hey, guys!" she says cheerfully, taking her seat.
"What's up in the advertising world these days, Tanya?" Garrett asks to include her in the conversation and to distract everyone from his embarrassment.
Tanya launches into some anecdotal story from her day working at the advertising firm she's belonged to almost as long as I've been at Cullen Howarth. She may not be perfect, but if there's one area where Tanya can do no wrong, it's in the advertising world. She's a genius when it comes to designing campaigns and has worked for some of the top company's both in this country and many others. I tune back into the conversation and hear her saying something about a rather large account her firm's just taken on and how busy she'll be over the next few months.
"That's great, Tanya and probably not a bad thing since lover boy over here will practically be living at the office for while," Garrett says conversationally.
Shit.
"What's he talking about, Edward?"
"You haven't told her yet?" Rosalie interjects.
"Told me what?" She demands.
"Um, Carlisle assigned me a pretty big case today, high profile client and all that. If I do a well enough job, he's guaranteed me a spot as partner."
"I take it you'll be taking on more hours?" She accuses.
"Not in the beginning, but once things pick up, yes."
"Don't see how that will make much of a difference. It isn't like you're really home as it is," she snaps.
The table falls into an awkward silence for a beat before everyone tries to make a break for it. Sam makes some piss pore excuse about calling his wife, Leah, and checking on their kids, who are both teenagers. Emmett "suddenly" develops an urge to dance and whisks Rosalie downstairs to do just that. Garrett can't survive another moment without stepping outside for a smoke break; he gave it up two years ago when he met Kate. Within seconds they've deserted me to deal with my angry wife alone.
Traitorous assholes.
"It really isn't that big a deal," I try.
"Of course not. Like I said, you'd actually have to be around for me to miss you," she says taking a sip of her wine.
"Did you miss the part where I could make partner if I don't fuck this up? You've only been pushing for that since I started working there."
"Don't you dare turn this around on me. You've been looking for excuses to spend more time at the office for the last month, now you've got your answer."
"That's not true, Tanya. I'm doing all of this for us! For our future!"
"Have you really reached the point that you're starting to believe your own bullshit, Edward? We have a home, we have money, and we're well into our future. You're just too afraid to man-up and take the next step. Stop being a little boy and admit it."
It doesn't take much more than that for me to lose it completely.
"You're right; I don't want the next step. I'm not ready for it and if you don't stop harping on it, you'll never get me there."
"Well I'm sorry you feel that way, Edward. I will get what I want, one way or another. Now, if you'll excuse me," she says standing up and taking her things. "I'll see you at home, if you find it in your heart to join your wife there," she sneers before walking away.
I pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers and take a few deep breaths to try and calm myself. Why is it that the woman I agreed to spend the rest of my life with can be so damn infuriating? I can't stand her when she's like this and I'm fairly certain she knows that.
"How are you doing, Edward?" Rose asks sitting down in the chair Tanya's just vacated.
"Fucking peachy," I respond. "Jesus, Rose what have I gotten myself into?"
"A huge fucking mess," she says matter-of-factly.
"Thanks for that."
"Hey, there's always the big D-word," she says nonchalantly.
"If you had your way, you would have had me divorced from her five minutes after we said 'I do'."
"I won't argue with you there," she laughs. "I just don't think she's what you really want."
"Well it's a little late for that isn't it?"
"It's never too late, Edward." She says placing her hand on my shoulder in an uncharacteristic gesture of compassion.
"I love her, Rosalie. I swear I do," I mutter.
"I'm not saying you don't. Sometimes I just don't think you love her or enough, or at least not in the right way."
I sigh in defeat.
"It's alright, big guy. We'll get you through it, I'm getting a little too used to saving your ass," she says punching my arm.
"Cute," I mutter.
"That's what Emmett tells me," she smirks.
I would never admit it, mainly because she would never let me live it down, but sometimes I envy Rosalie. It seemed like everything I was always working so hard for came ridiculously easy to her. She was just as talented a lawyer as I was and I could almost guarantee that she would be getting partner if I weren't in the picture. She had found the love of her life and was marrying him in a year with the promise of a beautiful future together. When I look at her, I see everything I used to dream of for myself and Tanya. It seems that the harder I try to grab onto the life I want, the further it retreats from my grasp.
Maybe Tanya is right, maybe I need to man-up. But I can't force myself into doing something I don't want to, I've always been stubborn like that. Once upon a time, my father wanted me to follow in his footsteps and study to take over the family business, an accounting firm worth millions of dollars. I had no interest in it what-so-ever, knowing that law was where my passion was. Needless to say, I caused quite a few arguments and headaches in my battle to go to law school. Eventually, my father caved in and, with a little coaxing from my mother, decided that he was wrong and my happiness was more important in the long run.
Old habits die hard.
Hell, I didn't even know why I was so dead set against moving on with Tanya. One thing was for sure, I was in a position to lose my fucking mind if something didn't give soon.
"Don't dwell on it, you're going to go prematurely gray the way you brood over shit," Rose says.
"Thanks, Rose." I say with a little chuckle.
"Anytime, I'll just add it to your tab. Now, we've still got an hour before we call it a night, so just enjoy yourself. Deal with wifey dearest when the time comes."
"You're right," I say.
"I'm hoping one day you'll realize that a little sooner," she sighs.
"Shut up, you bitch," I laugh.
"Not until you get your act together, asshole," she says getting up from the table and heading off to find Emmett, I presume.
I wait for the waitress to show up with my second drink of the night before I get up from the table and walk to the balcony. I place my hands on the thin metal railing and look out to the dance floor. I feel like a child, but I'm instantly jealous of the carefree strangers below me. Their biggest worry in the world is who they're going to grind on next when the song changes. They aren't worried about challenges at work or unhappy marriages. Lucky bastards.
I know rationally I'm not being fair. Everyone has their battles and all that bullshit, but right now I feel like the only one, so I let myself wallow in self-pity for a while.
I'm getting ready to call it a night when I catch a familiar sight on the dance floor below me. I do a double take and assess that it's none other than Bella I've just seen. She's laughing openly, a huge smile on her face, as she dances with who I assume to be a friend of hers. Perhaps, it's the roommate Rosalie mentioned in passing. I stand a watch her for a few more minutes, in a completely non-stalking sort of way. There's something about watching her spin and laugh around the floor that lifts my spirits a little. I wonder if Emmett was right about her needing something to give her a chance to get her life started. I wonder if it was my giving her the job today that's made her so happy. I hope so; I like the idea of making at least one person happy.
Happy looks good on her. She looks beautiful, standing out among a crowd of strangers.
I watch as a blonde muscle head walks up to her and tries his luck at securing a dance with her. I'm half hoping she shoots him down when, much to my dismay, she pulls him close to her and starts moving to the beat of the next song. I'm more or less strangling the railing in front of me, when she seems to lose herself in the music, completely forgetting about her new partner and dancing on her own. That relaxes me a little bit.
Okay, Eddie, that's enough drinks for you tonight.
I can't believe I was actually jealous of a complete stranger dancing with a girl I barely know. I'm starting to realize that this Bella thing really has potential to be a distraction. I'm a grown man though; I should have no problem keeping myself in check. I'll just have to remember to steer clear of alcohol when she's around since it apparently messes with my thoughts. I take one last look at her, throwing her head back and laughing, before I shake the image off and walk back to the table to collect my things.
Garrett is waiting for me when I get there.
"Edward, man, I'm so sorry about the thing with Tanya. I just kind of assumed she knew and I—"
"No blood, no foul, Garrett. You couldn't have known she'd blow up like that. Don't worry about it," I say with a smile.
"Well, I'm still sorry. I know how bad Kate can get when she's mad at me and she's a total sweetheart otherwise," he shudders.
I laugh. "Well thank you, Garrett, but really no apology necessary."
"You heading out for the night?" He asks.
"Yeah, you might want to do the same. It's looking like a long day tomorrow."
"Tell me about it. I'm totally pumped though, we're going to win this one easily," he says confidently.
"Hang on to that optimism when we're buried in evidence and police reports," I laugh.
I give Garrett my farewells and tell him to pass them on to the rest of the group. Once I'm outside in the chilled night air, it's a lot easier to think. I decide that its best to just focus on the trial for now, everything else will just have to work itself out with time. If Tanya's taking on as big a campaign as it sounds, it should buy me some time to get myself together anyway. We'll be fine, we have no choice but to be fine. Everything will work out. I repeat this mantra in my head over and over again when I lay down next to Tanya and try to fall asleep.
It isn't my wife I dream about that night.
Two chapters in two days for being so patient! I'm going to try and update again soon. If not this weekend, definitely early next week. I'm working out a steadier schedule as we speak. Thanks for all the reviews and keep them coming!
Until next time!