The Long War – Chapter 4 version 1.0
The Long War - Chapter 4 1.1 - more details on Ms. Goon past and a rewrite of it so that it flows better, i think.
The Long War - Chapter 4 1.2 – OK Am sure now that I've fixed everything. Didn't really change a lot, mostly just streamlining of the chapter events, fixing the things that Rimshooter pointed out in his review, and proof reading it in the hope that i've fixed them all.
The Long War – Chapter 4
Louise awoke to the sight of man like shaped figure starring at her, she didn't know what it was but it looked creepy considering that it had no eyes, no month, ears, or any of the usual features that want with a face or body. The last thing she remembered was been above her familiar just inches from his face and kissing him to make him her familiar. She tried to remember what happened afterwards but she couldn't remember a thing expect for soft toneless voice.
So that meant that she fell asleep on top of her familiar; that was going to be interesting. Wait if she was asleep then that meant that this was a dream, she thought, as she turned around 360 degrees checking her surroundings but she saw nothing but a endless blackness that surrounded her.
This wasn't her dreams, she thought to herself, her dreams were a more then this. It had people, family, and friends running around praising her at every step as she walked down the main street of the capital. It was where she was the hero of the hour, who saved the country from it's enemies with her magic alone. That had always been her dream every night and her depression, the pain, and the bullying hadn't even change this. In fact it had only pushed her closer and closer to into her own dream to the point that it had become her only source of hope.
As for her pride, what little that was left did not belong to her but her family name yet her despair of the last few days had all but destroyed what few nanometers were left.
Yet in the end, none of this mattered currently considering her surrounding.
"Where am I?" she asked the thing before her.
"You should know." the shadow answered in a toneless voice.
"I don't." she said irritated at the thing answer.
The next few moment was spent by the two of them staring at each other waiting for each other to speak. It didn't do her temper any good.
"Then who are you?" she demanded.
"This is your world you should know who I am without having to ask me" it replied in the same toneless voice.
"I don't remember meeting anyone like you without a face? In any of my dreams before." she short back with a little anger in her voice and ignoring its question. She hoped to get a more detail answer in return by it but her hope were crushed as it answered emotionless.
"The answer doesn't matter you will find out in time. There are more important business matters to attend too Ms. Valliere" the voice replied emotionless.
"Like what?" she said with more anger clearly in her voice.
"Meditating."
"Meditating?" she said irritation with a touch of anger in her voice.
"Meditating." it confirmed, as she felt her irritation grow. OK OK this is a dream right? Who the hell meditates in their dreams only losers did that and beside her dreams were her only means off escaping the pains of reality.
This was her dreams, she told herself, she wasn't going to meditate in her own dreams. She felt her irritation turn into anger at the thought. She closed her eyes and was partially successful in her attempt of calming herself down. .
"Don't think about about anything, seat down, close your eyes, and meditate." it said.
"This is my world, my dreams and I will do as I please." she said almost shouting her answer her tone was blended with pain and anger as painfully memories flashed before her outside the endless blackness.
Why? Why did they treat her like she was nothing more then a commoner? She was a noble, a noble, a bloody fucking noble like them, she told, herself. She was born a noble, she could do magic if it only resulted in explosion but it was still magic, and now she'd summon a familiar and completed the ritual. It was all the proof they needed to show that she could do magic so why were they still making fun of her? She thought, as she saw memories flash around the blackness surrounding her.
"Pride." the thing said, cutting of her musing and the painfully memories returning the endless space around her to the empty blackness that it was before.
"Pride?" she said confused.
"Magic." the thing answered
"Wait what does magic have to do with pride?" she said irritated and confused. She watch the thing begin to walk around her in an circle. She tired to wait for an answer but her temper got the better of her.
"Hey why don't you answer me?" She shouted at the shadow but it said nothing in reply. She waited for an answer but it didn't come than or in anytime meaningful before her temper got the better of her and she decide to rush the thing only to be come halt as she smash into a barrier that she'd didn't know existed.
"That was foolish." the thing said. The words were not once that she wanted to hear especially from a thing with no face and thus the pain that she felt mixed in with the sorrow pushed her self control to the breaking point.
"WHO ARE YOU?" she shouted at the thing.
"You should know without asking me but a more important question is who are you?." the thing said.
"I'M LOUSIE THE ZERO!" she shouted, as pointed a accusing finger at the thing and ignoring the thing answer.
"A suitable name as zero is the start of everything." it's answer didn't help calm her down a bit.
"NO IT'S NOT THIS IS MY DREAM. THIS IS MY PLACE WHERE I CAN ESCAPE THE PAIN OF REALITY AND THUS THIS IS MY WORLD! SO WHAT IN THE FOU..."
"Wrong." it corrected her.
"FUCK YOU THIS IS MY WORLD AND I KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! AND THIS AREN'T IT AT ALL."
"Wrong again." it said in the same toneless voice.
"THIS IS MY WORLD? WHY IS IT DARK AND NOTHING MORE THAN A EMTY VOID?" she asked, her tone dipping with scarcity and pain.
"To protect you from your familiar dreams."
"PROTECT ME FROM IT'S DREAMS? WHAT COULD POSSIBLE BE MY FAMILIAR DREAMING ABOUT? HE'S NOTHING BUT A COMMONER. THE BEST THING THAT HE COULD BE DREAMING ABOUT IS SOME WHORE." she said, her voice filled with pride or what was left of it.
"Pride is a two edge sword."
"PRIDE? PRIDE IS ALL I HAVE LEFT AFTER ENDURING YEARS OF BULLYING AND PUT DOWNS BY MY OWN FAMILY, MY FELLOW STUDENTS, AND TEACHERS. WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE?"
"Nothing."
"NOTHING! YOU DAM RIGHT I HAVE NOTHING LEFT. NOTHING WORTH LIVING FOR BUT MY PRIDE IN THE NAME VALLIERE."
"Pride in a name is meaningless." the thing informed her in the same toneless emotionless voice.
"I DON'T CARE! MY PRIDE IN MY FAMILY NAME IS ALL I HAVE LEFT. AND WITH WHAT I HAVE LEFT OF MY PRIDE I WILL HAVE WHAT I WANT! I WILL BE A HERO, CROWDS OF PEOPLE WILL SCREAM MY NAME, AND THEY WILL SHOWER ME WITH MONEY AND POWER?" she shouted.
"Meaningless."
"I DON'T CARE WHERE ARE MY PARENTS?"
"Dead." it said.
"YOU LIE! THEY ARE STILL ALIVE! WHERE ARE MY SISTERS AND THAT BITCH ELEANOR?"
"Alive..somewhere." the thing answered in the same toneless voice.
"WHERE IS MY GLORY?"
"All glory is hollow."
"WHERE IS MY MAGIC?"
It said nothing in reply. She didn't care.
"WHERE IS MY PEACE?"
"There is no peace but in death."
"WHERE IS MY REPECT?" she shouted back at the thing as tears ran down her face and her voice begin to break and she crumbled and folded into a small pink haired ball.
"It comes with age." the thing said softly.
The thing simply stood there and watched her vent her emotions that had been hidden behind the dam that she built long ago. It said nothing as it waited nor did it care that it waited for hours as she cried her sorrows and pain until there was nothing left but the loneness of her heart. Slowly as a the hours pasted sleep come to take Louise away.
"There is a reason for this and as there is a reason for everything." it finally said hours later as it felt the dream coming to an end. It walked inside the circle and slowly descended until it down next to her, softly and slowly it ran it hand through her hair until it come to rest on her face.
The thing could feel the warmth of her flesh and the blood flowing through her veins. This was the first time that there was any need for any interaction between the two of them. It had become a necessary the moment Louise understood the truth and in doing so brought her to father attention. Father had informed her that it was time to carry out the promise made long ago and that she was to look Louise.
She had no problem with this as nothing else mattered to her but the well being of Louise, it thought, as it raised her hand to touch Louise face to remind her of life and her humanity. It couldn't allow itself to forgot that fact, it thought, as Louise hand make contract with her face and for a moment the shadow that was her face disappeared replaced by a cheerful and smiling face of a teen with pink hair.
Yes, it thought satisfied, it will protect Louise from the demon within her familiar. Father had left only one issue addressed which she pointed out the last time they talked but his answer was cold-hearted and logical, there was no need to be worried about the demon. The runes will protect Louise should the familiar fail to resist.
She'd been here all this time hidden in the shadow until tonight because until than Louise like many of her sibling didn't understand the true nature of the void instant many of them were binded by their so call 'power' which was there birth right.
This wasn't going to be easy, Louise had many secrets that she'd locked away because it wasn't time for her learn them yet in due time as she grow and developed her powers then maybe she will inform her. But until then she will keep them locked away from her.
In order to stop the secrets from pushing her to the nothingness of the void which father called home. That couldn't be allowed as it sentence her humanity to death and ensure that she would be no difference from father.
A logical being with no heart and with none of the rules which binded her father from misusing his position as the caretaker of this universe. She sigh, it didn't help that in the last few days the dam which Louise build to held back the pains of reality had broken.
The flood has washed everything away leaving only her house and her family remaining in what was now a empty land. It was a little to close to the conception of the void. A world of nothingness. She thought, as the dream begun to end and the world around come crushing down bringing the dream to an end for the night.
He was standing in the middle of a courtyard that he'd never seen before in his life yet he recognized the lay out from some of the old printed records which his family still maintained. The sky was blue and clear of any of the pollutions, ships, or space docks in orbit. That wasn't good news for him as it raised the possibility that this world wasn't claimed by the Imperial. He cured his fate and the events which brought him here.
He heard a noise some somewhere behind him and he turned to see three little girls playing with each other. They looked to be somewhere about five years olds and they wasn't alone as they were with adults and from the look of it, it was their parents. They seem to be having a good time together playing with each other and seeing them smiling and laughing reminded him of his own family and what he left behind when duty called.
Yet that was long ago despite the fact that it's was no more then a little then ten years ago. Funny how time passes by quickly when you don't think about it, he thought sadly. As his own memories of his family flashed though his own mind awaking memories long buried in the depth of his mind. These memories were everything that he'd had left now, he thought, as he remembered that the 240th Iron Wolf Regiment was no more.
He could have been crying about it now like any other human being but years of combat duty fighting mankind enemies and watching his man die as he sent them to the battlefield had left him numb to everything but the memories of his family. Which he locked away inside his mind for safe keeping as it was unlikely that he would ever get to see them again during his life. The man and woman of the Imperial Guard were soldiers for life as few lived long enough to retire yet these few that did often find themselves far from home and no way to get there.
Duty and duty alone in service of the emperor will was all the reason that a guardsman needed to fight but for him it wasn't enough. That was the reason that he held his memories of his family so dear because it what he fought to protect, his family and to give other that same chance and finally for the emperor. For it was the children who were the future and he fought to protect their future however the years of endless fighting moving from one battlefield to another had slowly forced him to lock these memories away or else he would be left with nothing but a emptiness that he could not endure.
The years of fighting had also changed his face from what was once the face of a native boy who had no idea of the true horrors of the universe into a face that no longer bear such a face. His body boar scars of countless battlefields, his eyes no longer innocent, his face could no longer smile, and his hands were soaked in the blood of his enemies. And he could not remember what his family face looked like nor he could force himself to open the lock to the hidden room as it was enough for him to know that it existed and it was safe.
Thus when he saw the unknown family playing together in front of what could only be their house. He was lost for words for he no long could remember the faces of his own family. Of his own daughters, his own family, nor the face of his beloved wife so it left him confused at the sight before him. Could this be his memories that he'd long locked away into the depths of his soul? Could this be his family? Could this be what his face once looked like? Could this mean that he was dead?
He tired to say something anything but nothing come out no matter how many time he tired. So he it left him there standing speechless as he did nothing but observe and listen as the family laughed and had a good time together. He felt his hand gripe on his wife short sword loosen for a moment only to realize that the sense before him was impossible. He never opened the hidden room within his soul which housed his memories of his family. This was someone else family, someone else memories, this must be some trick of the enemy, he thought, as his gripe on his short sword tighten and he ready himself to face the enemy.
"Is it really that hard for us to let go off of reality and simply enjoy ourself?" a voice said from behind him. He didn't wait for the voice to say anymore as his training kicked in and he turned around bringing up his short sword up to take the unknown enemy head off but he didn't as his eyes recognized the face that was starring back at him. It was his own.
"Surprise?" the other him asked with a smile and he still didn't say anything as right now he was in shock. This was impossible. The thing before him was neither a demon after his soul but he didn't think so as if it was it would have eaten him without saying anything. So that meant, carefully he turned the look-like around until his back was to the family. He needed to take a good look at the family and the house because it didn't match what little he still remember of his family home. Then that meant that this was a dream? But how the last thing he remembered...
"Yes this is a dream to answer your question." the look-like said sighing "I had hoped that you would take the time to enjoy yourself here even if it isn't ours." the other him said.
"Ours?" he asked, moving his sword closer to the heretic neck until it was only inches away.
"I'm you." it replied.
"That is impossible!" he said, fact of factually.
"Really, really, this is a dream anything is possible here." it said.
"I don't dream." he said with a slur.
"Lier." it said.
"I don't dream." he told the heretic again but this time it wasn't will out a slur.
"We dream don't lie, it's not good for you."
He didn't have anything to say in reply but stare at the other him.
"We have been fighting for a long time to the point that our memories of our family has been buried by memories of wars and death that has become our life. These memories have goes as far as to pollute out dreams and the very core of our being or at least most of it." it said. The other him smile as it saw the truth of it words effect on the other him with the sword.
"No they have not."
"Don't lair to me. I am you I know everything that you know."
"How long have we been fighting for? 5, 10, 30 years? Do you think that your life will get any better?"
"The 240th Iron Wolf are no more, everyone is dead. This world doesn't have a spaceport. There is no way home but through death." the other him said. That sentence sent his blood boiling and he was about to say something when the other him beat him to the task.
"I know that you miss them. Do you think that you can lie to me. I am you. I know what you dream about each night when you close your eyes."
"No you don't." he said trying to deny the true but failure woefully as his hands begun to shake as his mind was flashed with sights from his own dreams.
"Don't try to lie to me." the other him said, it's tone dip with danger.
"I know that you dream of her and our family everyday since the last time we received news from home which told us that our family is no more killed by a psyker whom soul was consumed by a daemon. Do you think that I don't miss them too?" the other mind said, with anger in his voice for the first time in a long time.
"They are dead and nothing we can do will bring them back. You should know better, this isn't the first time that we have lost someone important." the other him said coldly.
"SHUT IT, JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" he shout back yet it did nothing to stop the other him.
"With the death of the regiment we have lost everything that matters to us. What does it matter if this is a trap? We have nothing else to lose. We have no family, no love once left, and no one we care about that are still alive. All we have left is duty and duty alone." the other him said.
"And duty we have faithfully carried out for to long without a break. So does it matter that we are in someone else dream? They wouldn't mind right?"
"Yes they will." he said, firmly.
"So come with me and we'll return to our own dream." the other him said, with a knowing smile.
"Well?" it asked after a few minutes of watching his own eyes dart between him and the family behind him. He could hear the cries of joy that they released as they played with each other as a family.
"I..."
"Are we going or not?" the other him said, clearly impatient at his indecision.
"Go" the other him said softly "this is nothing more then a dream. Duty does not matter here..." he didn't wait for the other him to finish. The sword that he always carried was released and he took off unfortunately he did not hear the rest of what he said. If he had he would never have left the sword behind.
The other man watched his conscious mind introduce himself before he joined the family and their own activities. He couldn't help but feel a sad smile cross his face for it knew that this wasn't going to last. It was aware of the fact that the daemon was slowly eating his soul and just taking the time because it wanted some fun before killing him.
There was nothing that he could do but hope that this little girl magic and her memories were enough to stop the corruption of the foul heretic or if that wasn't possible then it well left him only one option.
And so with that through it fade out and walked back into his own dreams to fight a good fight before death come for him.
Ms. Goon was a tired healer and a tired women. She was tired of using her water magi to heal the wounds of others and she had a good reason for this. It was a family tradition for these born with an to water to join the army where there skills could be put to use good use. Of course, that was after undergoing training to ensure that said water magi knew all the knowledge that her family had collected over the years. So it was when her family discovered this, her fate when it was discovered, out of five sisters and brothers, her element was water.
It was also traditional for said water magi to become the next family head but that wasn't going to happening. All because war and the folly of a nobleman who pissed off the elf. She had returned home to find nothing.
The death of her family was caused by the folly of another noble actions which in the end had only brought on a one side war with the elves. Who simply killed the foolish noble, his whole family, and anyone else who got in the way before returning to their own lands.
She tried to stop her thoughts from wondering any further but she was unsuccessful. She was laying down at her bad which was located in a room that was connected to the infirmary. She wasn't surprise to find this, when she first arrived here considering her past experience in the east. There was nothing that she could do stop these memories from flooding into her mind once again, the only thing that she could do was to delay and that she did by slowly raising from her bed. She slowly left her room and made her way to the infirmary windows, each step was painful reminder of her age.
She remembered her time as a child and playing with her brothers and sisters under the stars at home. Yet, she told herself as she stared at the stars, these memories will forever remain nothing but a memory. She thought, as her mind remembered the past.
She only learnt the truth after the war yet the truth did not bring her to any acts of revenge. Her time as a water magi during the course of the war healing soldiers from the edge of death and listing to them calling out to loved ones had long robbed her of any desire for revenge.
The truth that she discovered amides the sea of suffering that she could not save everyone was the lesson she'd learnt from her experience in the war and the foundation of her decision to move westward into lands where it was said that there was no war. She'd left everything behind to come here seeking peace but it was all pointless. She had learnt over the course of life here that there was never such a thing as peace. What they called peace was nothing more then a pause between wars giving everyone a chance to rearm themselves and get ready for the next one.
She told herself, as she looked to the most recent prove of this; the familiar that had been summon by Ms. Valliere. She could tell that he was a soldier, as only a soldier would have a body covered in scars. True, these scars were unlike any that she'd seen, but it did not change the fact that the man before her was a boy who'd seen the too many battlefields.
The thought brought tears to her eyes as she realized that boy was the same age as her younger brother when she left for the academy.
She tired to hold back her tears but she failed and tears flowed freely intermixed with a soft howl of pain that escaped her lips and she fell to her ground, her legs unable to support her. Why? Why? does everything seem to come back to hurt her? She'd come east to escape the pain and suffering only to find more here in the west.
That was why she was here at the academy, so that she cold hide her true skills and not to be sent to the battlefield yet the battlefield had come to her. Why? Why couldn't the fate leave her alone, she just wanted to be forgotten and hidden from the world ..yet...
She could not say nor think anything for a while as all the pain that she'd kept hidden within her heart finally break out and flooded her body and mind. She did not knew how long she cried for but the length did not matter to her in the end. When the last of her sorrow and tears left her; she forced her mind away from the past and stood up so that she was looking at the soldier again. If anyone was to look at her face at that moment they would see nothing more then a professorial face.
It been a long time since she used any of real skills and it showed, she thought, looking down at her hands. It's been almost ten years since she'd started working here at the academy, during that time. She never once had any need to use any of her medial spells that she'd learnt from her family.
She was tired, way to tired, for someone with such high will power such as her yet the thought did not bother her at all because she was tired of it all. She was tired of seeing the wounded, tired of healing people, tired of seeing death as it took the souls of these she could not save. She was tired of it all yet despite this, she still saved the soldier before her. Why? Why did she save a soldier life one who would only go on to kill others and bring them suffering? Why did she a broken old water magi save him?
Because it is what you were trained to do and what your family had always done, a voice in her mind said. That's not enough, that reason alone is not enough. There has to be more; a better reason than that alone another voice argued.
No she told herself, remembering the words of her mother, once she said along ago.
"We are healers no more no less, we heal our enemies and friends for we prize life above all." she said.
The words brought a rare smile to her face, yes that was why she was a water magi, she was a healer no more no less. That was why, she'd spent a massive amount of her will power to heal the soldier before. She thought, as she made her way back to her bed. She needed some sleep as she closed her eyes and she entered the world of dreams. She did not see the sun raise into the morning sky.