A/N: I own nothing of the Whedonverse nor any fairytales and I am not profiting from this work.

Chapter 2

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I'm a vampire?

One quart of blood please.

Buffy, If that's you, please come in.

Buffy stepped into the apartment and only then realized she couldn't sense his heartbeat. As she looked around for him she tripped over a very large book which oomphed. She tilted her head to the side and jumped back when Giles's face appeared on the cover. She bent down and grabbed him.

"Oh dear lord. Please, don't shake me around like that."

"Giles, my god, what's happened to you?"

"I might ask you the same thing." Buffy reached up and touched her face pulling her hand back quickly when she felt vamp ridges that she wasn't sure how long had been there. If it had been all along then Sunnydale had one pretty chill butcher.

Buffy sat down with her Watcher in her lap, that thought brought on big ew's, and tried to think through her time since seeing him last. "I think Drusilla turned me. But I don't have any killer instinct. I did just drink blood. But not from a person. From a pig. From the butcher's. And I guess I have a game face. I found Oz roaming around campus so I took him back to his cage and incapacitated the other wolf but when I went back to take care of it, it was gone and there were all of these other people smells that hadn't been there before." Buffy wrinkled up her nose but it looked a bit different with her brow all vampy.

Book-Giles blinked. "Other Wolf?"

"Yeah, it smelled familiar but I don't know how I know that. And I think that we should try talking about the fact that you're a book, Giles."

"Yes quite," He cleared his clearly nonexistent throat and went, thankfully, into full Watcher mode. "I was getting ready to go out for the evening when, well, this happened. I'd say it's been quite some time. At least three days."

"Three days. That would be how long I've been missing? And no one has come looking for you or me? I mean I live with Willow and she didn't even try to come and check in? Some friends I have." Giles coughed to bring her back from her tangent. "Right, sorry, you're all booky." She took a deep breath and could actually smell the magic surrounding Giles. "What kind of spell could turn you into a book?"

"Spell?" His face on the book shifted as though he had tilted his head to the side.

"Yeah. You smell all," Buffy turned him slightly to the left and then the right, "Hocus-Pocusy."

"I smell…? Never mind." Giles inhaled, "When you were moving me I felt something inside."

"Aw, Giles I feel warmth and affection for you too." Buffy smiled and that looked even stranger as she had yet to shift into her human guise.

"No, I meant something like a loose leaf of paper. Though I do feel something akin to paternal affection toward you." Giles watched as she reached and pulled back several times from his front cover.

"Oh for heaven's sake, Buffy you will have to open me up and look me over."

Buffy grasped his bottom right corner and started to lift. She stopped and looked him dead in the eyes. "If this hurts you, just let me know."

"Count on it." When Giles was opened to the first page a small sheaf of paper resembling something like a contract slipped out and onto her lap. She quickly shut Giles and apologized when he complained of possible head trauma. Picking up the contract she began to read aloud.

"This Contract for Services is made effective as of the ninth of November in the year nineteen-hundred and ninety-nine, by and between The Slayer Buffy Summers of Sunnydale California (The "Client") AND Agent 214 of the Council of Human Affairs and Otherworldly Services (The "Contractor"). Background: A. The Client is of the Opinion that the Contractor has the necessary qualifications, experience, and abilities to provide services to the Client. B. The Contractor is agreeable to providing such services to the Client on the terms and conditions set out in this Agreement. In Consideration of the matters described above and of the mutual benefits and obligations set forth in this Agreement, the receipt and sufficiency of which consideration is hereby acknowledged, the Client and the Contractor agree as follows. Services Provided: The Client hereby agrees to engage the Contractor to provide the Client with services consisting of 1. Making a little effort here and 2. Giving something to work with. The Contractor hereby agrees to provide such services to the client. Termination of the Agreement will require the Client to Learn to Love Another and earn Their Love in return. Failure to Terminate the agreement will result in the permanent application of physical ramifications from Services Provided. In Witness Whereof the Parties have duly affixed their signatures under hand and seal on this 9th day of November 1999."

Buffy swallowed and turned the last page for Giles to see. "Giles. That's my signature."

"Dear Lord." It was weird not having hands to polish glasses with, "Buffy it appears you have made a deal with an agent of CHAOS."

"A what now?" Her voice came out a bit squeakier than she wanted.

"They are one of the Forces of Darkness. Is it possible you had invoked them in some way?" Buffy closed her eyes and then groaned. It was just before Drusilla had shown up. She had just used some excellent quippage on a very unrecepty vamp and…"That's it? That's all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought-out puns. I don't think the forces of darkness are even trying. I mean, you could make a little effort here, you know? Give me something to work with."

"That was so totally not me signing a contract!" Buffy jumped up consequently spilling Giles onto the floor. She put her hands to her head as she growled and was pleased to find human-Buffy smoothness. Giles coughed to get her attention. "Oh, sorry Giles," she picked him up and set him on the coffee table, "but me saying something is not me signing something."

"When it comes to CHAOS a verbal contract is equitable to a written one."

Buffy pouted. "So, me saying something is me signing something?"

Her Watcher sighed. "I'm afraid so Buffy."

"What's with all this love-stuff and why did you get caught up in this?"

"I suppose to give you something to work with." Buffy cringed at the finger-pointy tone. Giles sighed in resignation. "I am sorry Buffy I'm simply...adjusting, but, according to this it would appear your vampirism is temporary. As well as my...biblio-ism. We will simply have to conduct some research."

"That means I have to do the research doesn't it?"

"Well, actually, if you are quite certain you have yet to pose a danger to anyone I would suggest we take the sewers to your dormitory and see if we can find Willow."

Buffy's nose scrunched up. "But. My shoes."

Giles exhaled and his forehead got all frustrated, "Buffy you have been buried for the last three days."

Buffy pulled a throw over her head, put Giles in a knapsack and opened the door. "Yeah, yeah Giles. I get it. Stinky sewers it is."