Chapter Fourteen – Beginning

BPOV

I don't know what the possessed me to walk toward the table where Edward sat having dinner with his father, but I did.

And I almost immediately wished I hadn't.

"She means nothing to me…"

The words echo through my head, yet again, as I finish my third martini.

"Absolutely nothing…"

Yeah. I hear you loud and clear, asshat.

I should have known better. The only person I hate more than Edward at the moment is myself. Except that I still don't hate the son of a bitch. I've been so stupid and I've sure as hell let myself get way too carried away. I mean, what did I expect? That we'd ride off into the sunset together? He's married, of freaking course I don't mean anything to him.

So why did it feel like I meant something to him? I'm such an idiot.

I raise my hand, signaling to the bartendeer that I'm going to need another drink here pretty soon. It's about time I get my head out of my ass and took a look around to find someone attainable. Maybe if Isabella comes out to play, I can do just that. I can put on my big girl panties and move on. No more school girl crushes and broken hearts and bullshit. Nope. As of tonight I'm a new fucking woman. I'm a sexy, confident, beautiful woman and as I look around the bar I realize that any one of these guys would be lucky to have me.

Especially the good looking patron I spy at the other end of the bar.

The bartender drops off my drink and I thank him politely, downing it and making my way to the sexy stranger. I'm in full on flirtation mode when I walk over and introduce myself. He invites me to sit down and we make small talk while I ogle him freely. He's tall and well built, but the main selling point is the well kept blonde hair lying sexily on his head. Blonde and well kept and a far cry from the sexy bronze mess on Edward's…

Shit, this is going downhill fast.

I place my hand on his thigh; laughing at a joke he's made that isn't actually all that funny and his eyes about bulge out of his head.

There, that's better.

My rational side is screaming at me to stop, telling me that now I'm being an idiot. Luckily for me, Isabella shuts her up by ordering a shot. I down the glass the second the bartender sets it on the bar and the stranger… what was his name? Ronny? Randy? Riley! That's it, Riley. Riley looks at me like I'm the woman of his dreams. Edward may not have wanted me, but Riley sure as hell does. He whispers something I don't quite understand and before I really know what's happening, he has my hand in his and is leading me out of the bar and into the lobby. We're heading toward the elevators, but he stops suddenly and pulls me to the side, pushing me back against the wall. His lips find their way to my neck and my head lolls back, reveling in the feeling.

God that feels good, Edward.

Wait, that's not right. I'm not with Edward. Am I?

I close my eyes and scrunch my face in confusion. I'm with Riley, Riley from the bar. At least I think I am. My head starts spinning and my limbs feel like they weight about a thousand pounds each. Everything's fuzzy and whoever the hell this is, his lips don't feel as nice as they did a minute ago.

How many drinks did I have again?

What the hell am I doing? This is ridiculous. Edward shuts me down so I run off to the first male specimen I lay eyes on? When did I become such a tramp, anyway? I just want to crawl under a rock and hide for the better part of the rest of my life.

I feel Riley's hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him and the not-so-subtle bulge in his jeans and I have to fight to keep the contents of my stomach down.

Now you've done it, Bella. I chastise myself.

I think I can hear someone yelling nearby, but it could just be the alcohol further turning my brain to mush. I need to get out of here before this gets bad. Okay, before this gets worse. I crossed over the line of bad half an hour ago when I decided to get shitfaced and flirt with a stranger.

"Please stop," I mumble, trying to push Riley's hands away. This would be a lot better if I hadn't just downed three martinis, or was it four? And I had a shot too, didn't I? Oh Christ, get it together, Bella.

I'm trying to do just that when I hear an all too familiar voice shouting.

"Get your fucking hands off her!"

Edward? Jesus, now I'm hallucinating. Fucking perfect.

Except that I'm not hallucinating. I have to blink a few times to make sure I'm not crazy, but it's most definitely Edward I see grabbing Riley's arm and tugging him away from me. It doesn't make any sense. Why is Edward here and why does he look like he wants to rip Riley's head from his shoulders?

"Why don't you mind your own business?" Riley sneers.

"Edward, don't!" I shout, finally finding my voice.

This pisses Riley off apparently because he whips around to face me in a flash. "You know him? Fuck. What do you have a boyfriend or something?"

"Yeah, or something," Edward shouts coming to stand in front of me like a fucking bodyguard. God, this is getting so fucked up. "I believe she said stop. Get your sorry ass out of here!"

Riley seems conflicted for a minute, but he concedes and mutters something under his breath before walking away angrily. As I watch him retreating back toward the bar, I'm shocked by the feelings of rage taking over me.

Who does Edward think he is anyway? He doesn't just get to sit down with his father and talk about me like I'm no better than the dirt on his stupid expensive shoes and then come in here and save me like my own personal superhero. I could kill the son of a bitch. He turns around to face me and seems shocked by the daggers I'm staring into him.

"I could have handled it! I didn't need your help!" I shout. It's not entirely true, but I'm beyond caring at this point. I've had it.

"You really looked like you could handle things," he sneers.

"Regardless, you said it yourself; you're no hero, Edward Masen. So back off!"

There. That'll show him.

I don't even feel guilty about throwing his words from earlier back in his face. I don't feel guilty when he recoils like I've slapped him. I just feel good. He deserves a taste of his own medicine.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demands. Like he doesn't know. He can't seriously be standing here pretending he didn't obliterate me with his words earlier. Now he can really go to hell. Maybe I'll just remind him of his opinion of me.

"Even if you were a hero," I continue, enraged. "Why would you want to save me, huh? I'm nothing, remember? Absolutely nothing."

Two things happen almost simultaneously. First of all, a look of pure shock crosses Edward's face and I'm reminded that he didn't know I had been listening. Well, too bad for him because I was there and I heard everything. Secondly, the entire world starts spinning as he throws me over his shoulder and marches toward the elevator.

"Put me down!" I demand.

It's official, he's off his fucking rocker. I huff and cross my arms like a two year old as he converses nonchalantly with an elderly couple trapped in the elevator with us. He makes up some story about his wife having too much to drink and my eyes narrow at the thought of Tanya. Then it dawns on me that he's referring to me and I get pissed all over again.

"What the hell are you –" I begin, but he cuts me off and bids the elderly couple goodnight as we exit the elevator, finally having reached the twelfth floor. "Put me down, Edward!"

"No, your feet are not touching the ground until you're safely in your goddamn room. Christ, Bella are you fucking crazy or stupid?" he says angrily.

Both, but good luck getting me to admit it, jackass.

He makes his way to my door, but I just pout like a two year old, refusing to give him my keycard. He sighs in frustration and walks to his room instead, using our shared door to get into my room instead. I hate that stupid door, it only causes trouble.

He tosses me on the bed and starts pacing. That's when the shouting begins with a frustrated growl.

"Seriously, Bella! You hear the testimony of a rape victim today and you think it's a good idea to get shitfaced before leaving with some guy you barely know? Those victims I do such a good job of representing? You almost just made yourself one!"

Ouch.

I don't know which I hate more: the fact that he's right or that I could be so stupid.

"I guess I didn't think about that," I mutter.

"More like you didn't think at all!" he continues. "It doesn't matter what you heard or what I, or anyone else for that matter, thinks of you. You were an idiot to put yourself in that position!"

Does he really have to rub it in? Now I'm not only worthless, but an idiot two. I'm batting a thousand tonight, really.

"I get it okay! I fucked up," I admit.

"Correction: you fucked up big time, Isabella Swan!" he shouts.

If only he knew how much Isabella Swan was to blame for tonight's events. Maybe I should get checked out for multiple personality disorder. I look at the ground and wring my hands together, feeling the guilt slowly taking over. I know he's right. I've acted like a complete and utter fool tonight and I deserve whatever harsh words he wants to yell at me. Hell, I deserve worse.

My heart breaks a little more though, when I realize that he didn't deny what he said to his father earlier. It hurts more than I'd like to admit. I can't help the tears that start to fall or the sobs that completely take over my body.

"It's alright, Bella," he says. I'm not sure when he sat down next to me, but I'm too much of an idiot to complain.

"I'm sorry," I offer pathetically.

"I know you are, sweetheart. I know," he says with a sigh.

One minute I'm nothing and now I'm sweetheart? I feel my heart breaking all over again. This whole thing is just so fucked up and unfair. Why do I care what he thinks about me anyway? Why can't I just stop? I just want to walk away. I need to walk away.

I don't know if I can.

He means so much to me, so goddamn much. It doesn't matter if he couldn't care less about me. It doesn't matter if I don't mean anything to him because he already, in just the few short months we've known each other, means everything to me. I don't care that he's married. I don't care that he's my boss. I just don't care. It won't change anything. It obviously won't make the feelings go away. He has me, hook, line, and sinker and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

I feel so tired all of a sudden. Heavy. I just need some sleep.

I tell Edward as much, reluctantly pulling myself away to get ready for bed. He's still here when I emerge from the bathroom and makes some excuse about wanting to make sure I make it to bed okay. I don't have it in me to argue.

He helps me into the bed and pulls the covers over my body. I close my eyes and hear him rummaging around the kitchen. He returns moments later with a glass of water and some pills.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"As good as I'm going to get," I say. And then, "Goodnight, Edward and thank you."

"Of course, Bella," he says like it's the easiest thing in the world. "Goodnight."

He flicks off the light and I snuggle deeper into the blankets. I can feel myself slipping into sleep and I welcome it. I need the sweet nothingness of a good night's sleep to erase this hellish night.

Just before I doze off I whisper softly to myself. "It doesn't matter if I don't mean anything to you. You mean everything to me."

And I mean it.

oOo0oOo

I feel like I've been hit by a truck, multiple times. Ah, the tell-tale signs of a Bella hangover.

And then it hits me. Edward's less-than-hospitable father. Their dinner conversation. The drinks. Riley. Edward's hostile take-over. The regretful tears.

When Bella Swan fucks something up, she does it thoroughly.

I put my hands over my face, willing myself to disappear into the mattress. Anything to keep me from having to face the mess I've made. I look at my phone and see that's nearing nine o'clock. I'm supposed to meet everyone for breakfast before we head out to Hoquiam for the day. Maybe I could say I'm sick? No, of course I can't do that. I have a job to do. Just once, I wish I wasn't so damn responsible.

You weren't responsible last night.

Like I needed the reminder. I remember Edward yelling at me for putting myself in such a dangerous position. Of course, he was right. I shudder to think what might have happened had he not shown up when he did. I thought I had everything under control, but I was wrong as usual.

I sigh and force myself out of bed, squinting from the light filtering in through my picture window. I down the glass of water the two aspirin Edward left for me. Making my way to the shower I let myself stand under the warm spray for longer than necessary, thankful for the relief the hot water brings to my aching muscles and head. I really did a number on myself last night. There will be no alcohol for me for a long time, that's for sure. I decide I need something comfortable to wear for the day, so I rummage through my suitcase until I find a soft white wrap dress. Perfect. A pair of flats and a low, messy ponytail later and I'm ready to go.

At least in theory.

I'm actually anything but ready to face the world. I know Edward's pissed and me and, shit, he has every right to be. None of this would have happened in the first place if I hadn't walked toward him and his father like the idiot I am. If I had just minded my own business, kept to myself… But I guess it has to happen sometime. I grab my jacket and bag, giving myself one last pep talk before I head out the door. Imagine my surprise when my neighbor happens to be leaving his room at the same time. Shit, I was hoping to put this off for a little longer.

He looks over when he hears my door click shut and gives me a half-smile.

"Hello," he says.

"Hi," I reply softly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better than I deserve, thank you," I tell him. I guess I better get this over with. "Look, I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have eavesdropped on you and your father."

He seems surprised. "Bella, you think I'm mad at you because you overheard some stupid conversation with my father?"

Now I'm the one who's confused. "Well, I mean you are, aren't you?"

"No, Bella! I could care less that you listened in, that's not what matters to me. I was upset by the way you responded off it. Putting yourself in danger because of some stupid comment I made, that was just entirely foolish of you. Especially considering it wasn't true," he adds almost as an after-thought.

"What did you just say?"

"It wasn't true, Bella. None of it was true. My father is a great man, but he can be a real douche sometimes. I only told him that so he would back off. The truth is exactly the opposite. You have to know that you're very important to me. You're much too special to mean nothing to me."

My heart warms and I can't fight the smile tugging at the corners of my lips. It's a relief. A relief I shouldn't feel, but that doesn't stop me. Just knowing I mean something to him is enough to get my heart racing. I don't even feel the effects of my hangover anymore; he's just made my entire day better with that one confession.

"So am I forgiven?"

"You're forgiven," he says returning my smile.

We make our way down to the lobby where Garrett and Rose are waiting for us. We all say our good mornings and make our way to the breakfast bar. While we eat the three of them talk strategy and try to decide how best to approach things today.

It's going to be a hard day for everyone, but especially Angela.

Edward explains to me that, since all the evidence points directly at Royce, it's likely that the defense will try to insinuate that it was consensual. That Angela wanted it. They'll question her morals, her relationship with Ben. They'll dig for anything they can possibly use against her.

I'm enraged.

It's bad enough that she's had to go through any of this, but to have her character questioned? To have them throw it in her face and try to even suggest that she may have wanted that bastard anywhere near here? That's just sick. I suddenly understand why Edward, Rose, and Garrett do what they do. Getting the bad guy sounds even more essential now.

As expected, Angela doesn't take the news well. Neither do her parents or Ben, but they try to hold themselves together for her benefit. For the longest time she just cries, unable to stop the tears from flowing. Ben holds her and tries to comfort her while the rest of us just sit there, unable to do much else. Then she gets angry and rightly so. She storms up to her room and won't even let Ben in to see her. Mrs. Weber tries next, but Angela denies her access as well.

"I'm sorry," Rosalie sighs after forty-five minutes.

"It isn't your fault," Mr. Weber assures us. "Your job is to prepare my daughter. We knew this would be difficult, but it'll be worth it in the long run. I have to believe that."

"I just wish she'd talk to someone," Mrs. Weber says looking warily at the stairs.

"Maybe she needs to talk to someone she doesn't know as well," Garrett suggests.

"Bella was able to get through to her pretty well during our initial meeting," Edward says. "Maybe she'd listen to her again."

"No! I couldn't," I protest.

He can't be serious. I'm out of my league here. I don't know how to console someone who's been through what Angela has. Besides, that first meeting was a fluke; I'm not trained or prepared to handle a situation like this. I'd probably only make things worse. But then Mrs. Weber begs me to at least try and I can't say no to her, which is how I find myself outside Angela's bedroom door, unsure how to proceed. I decide knocking is probably a good place to start.

"Angela, it's Bella. Can I come in?"

"Sure," I hear from the other side of the door.

I let myself in. Angela's room is tiny, the walls painted a happy yellow. There are posters of several popular movies tacked on the walls as well as pictures of her with Ben, her family, and friends. Off to the side sits a small white dresser filled with trophies from sports and certificates of achievement. All signs of a happy life. A happy life that was taken from her in the worst way possible. My heart breaks for her, but I saw yesterday that Angela is stronger than she lets on. She's determined to fight back. She just needs a nudge in the right direction.

"It isn't fair," she says suddenly from her spot on the bed.

I shake my head and sit down next to her. "No, it's not."

"I can't believe that they'll try to say those things. Like I would ever want him… I just can't even stomach the thought," she finishes.

"They're grasping at straws, Angela. Anyone who sees you will know they're full of it. You're stronger than they are. You know that, don't you?"

"It doesn't feel like it sometimes," she sighs.

"It's true though. You've come so far just since the first time I met you. You will get your life back, Angela. This is just another step in the process. You know the truth, your family and Ben know the truth and we're all here for you. It's not going to be easy, but if anyone can do it, I know you can," I assure her.

She's quiet for a minute, thinking about what I've said. Then, she's hugging me. "You're a really great friend, Bella," she mumbles.

Friend. I smile because I couldn't think of a more courageous, beautiful person to be friends with. She's going to get through this and she's going to have the last laugh. There's just no denying it. Angela will have the justice she deserves because it just can't happen any other way.

When we make our way downstairs, everyone visibly relaxes. Angela resumes her seat next to Ben and apologies for retreating. I smile as she and her family share a moment before we continue. When I take my seat on the couch, I feel Edward tap my shoulder.

"You're amazing, you know that?" he whispers.

I can't fight that grin that's taking me over.

Angela does amazingly well for the rest of our visit. We set up a makeshift courtroom in the Weber's kitchen and Garrett reluctantly takes on the role of Royce's defense. It isn't without its bumps. We have to break for a little over an hour after one of Garrett's questions causes Angela to break down, but when she's calm again she doesn't waste a second, getting right back to it. Garrett covers every line of questioning he can think of while Rose and Edward coach on her on the proper answers to give. She kicks ass and we couldn't be more proud.

We're taking a day off to let everyone recuperate tomorrow and then it will be Ben's turn. As Angela's boyfriend, it's inevitable that he'll be called to the stand and he'll be a great testament to Angela's true character. He's nervous, but Edward assures him that he'll do fine. Later in the week, we'll meet with her friends Maggie and Liam, who were the last ones to see her before the attack. When we leave, I give Angela another hug; reminding her again of her strength. She thanks me again and then we're on our way.

"She did amazingly well for her first day," Rosalie gushes when we return to the hotel.

"We need to celebrate! I say we go out tonight," Garrett suggests.

"There's a club downtown we could check out," Edward offers.

Rosalie nods eagerly. "Perfect! Let's all go shower and change and then we'll meet back here in a half hour."

When I get to my room I take a quick shower and take the time to blow-dry my hair. I wrap myself in a robe and get started on my makeup. I have fifteen minutes to spare when I'm done. It's exactly enough time to get dressed. I open the armoire where I've stored the majority of my clothes and search through the dresses I've packed, looking for the perfect one. I'm about to pull out a simple black number when my eyes rest on the infamous blue dress.

I don't know what possess me, but I take it from the hanger and put it on. Maybe it's time for life changing.

I grab a pair of soft blue pumps and a bag, giving myself one more glance in the mirror. Alice was right, of course, the dress looks amazing. It's formfitting and comes together in the front with a few pleats of fabric. It hugs in all the right places, accentuating what curves I have. The blue makes my skin look illuminated as opposed to my usual pale pallor. The look all comes together when coupled with the soft waves framing my face and the extra makeup I usually avoid. I look good and I'm exuding confidence.

I head into the hall and wait for the elevator to bring me back down to the lobby. Edward's the only one standing there when I arrive, his back turned to me studying a painting on the wall. He turns around when he hears me approach and I almost lose my breath at the sight of him.

He's wearing dark wash jeans and a soft dark gray sweater. He's fresh out of the shower and his hair is in its usual sexy disarray. He looks sinfully good, but the best part is that he's looking at me in the same way. He definitely likes what he sees which gives me an extra boost in the confidence department.

"You look beautiful, Bella," he says sweetly.

"Thank you."

We wait for a few minutes before Rose and Garrett finally find their way downstairs. She looks amazing in a short red dress and Garrett is casual and cool in dark jeans and a tight black t-shirt. We hail a cab and make our way to the club.

Twilight is a swanky, lounge style club in the heart of the city. It's in a one story building with high vaulted ceilings and huge dance floor. Round tables take up the rest of the main room with a bar toward the back. The whole place is decorated in dark purples and blues and it's absolutely full of people when we arrive. We're seated at a table off to the corner with a perfect view of the dance floor. Edward, Rose, and Garrett all order drinks, but I stick to sweet tea, not quite ready to let Isabella out to play after last night's mess. We eat our way through some of the best burgers and fries I've ever had and then Rosalie's up and ready to dance.

She and Garrett make their way to the floor, laughing the entire time while Edward and I sit back and watch the show. They command the room in a way that only the two of them could. Garrett twirls Rosalie around like a professional as they move in unison to the beat of the song. Somewhere along the way, Edward convinces me that letting loose and having one drink won't hurt, so I order a margarita, but make sure that I take my time, sipping slowly.

"Do you want to dance?" he asks after a while.

I'm about to decline, but Rose answers for me when she makes her way back to the table and pulls on my arm until I agree to come with her.

It's hot on the dance floor, bodies packed together like sardines. A popular song comes over the speakers and the crowd cheers, urging the DJ on. Rose loses herself in the music, encouraging me to do the same and I wish momentarily that I'd had more to drink. Luckily for me, her energy is contagious and I manage to move around with her. I'm acutely aware of Edward's eyes on me from where he sits with Garrett back at the table. Ignoring my better judgment, I move a little more sensually, hoping he'll take notice and feeling a sense of pride when he does.

It continues on like that for the next six or seven songs. Garrett and Edward remain at the table with their drinks, while Rose and I move on the dance floor. Whenever I look over, Garrett is chattering away, not even realizing that Edward's eyes are trained on the floor and me. I don't think I've ever felt as sexy as I do with his eyes on me.

Rose decides she wants another drink and convinces me to come with her to the bar. I order one more margarita, promising myself to stop there, but it's still enough to give me a buzz. This trip is turning me into a lush, seriously. We stay out for a few more songs and my energy only increases. Eventually though, Rose starts to wear down and we head back to the table.

"We should probably head back. I have to call Emmett before it gets too late in Chicago," she says.

"Yeah, Kate will have my ass if I don't call her," Garrett laughs. They get their coats and settle their individual tabs. "You guys coming?" Garrett asks.

I'm about to grab my own coat when Edward clears his throat. "Actually, if Bella wants to stay, I could go for a few more drinks."

Drinks and dancing alone with Edward. It sounds like a bad idea, so of course I agree because that's what my life has become.

"Alright, just don't be out too late, kids," Rose laughs.

She and Garrett leave and Edward and I are left alone. We just sit a talk, making easy conversation like we always do for a while. I switch over to water after one last margarita while he orders another vodka and tonic. A new song starts to play and I watch as he taps his fingers lightly against his thigh. He seems lost in thought, fighting some internal battle with himself. Finally, he sets his glass down and turns to face me with a smile.

"Would you like to dance with me?" he asks again.

"Sure."

He stands and offers me his hand. I hesitate, but take it with a smile and follow him out onto the floor. We make our way through the crowd of bodies until we find a sizeable space near the center of the floor. His hands hesitantly find their way to my hips and I feel a slow burn churning deep in my belly at the feeling. And then we move.

I don't know it yet, but my entire life is about to change.

We're getting so close!

Bella's dress as well as the other outfits and locations mentioned so far in the story are currently up on my Polyvore account! The link can be found in my profile for anyone who is interested. Keep the reviews coming! I'm loving the feedback so far. Thanks for sticking with me through this story. I have a feeling you might just get what you've all been waiting for next week. We'll see. ;)

Until next time!