Chapter Fifteen – A Turning Point
EPOV
When Bella appeared in the lobby wearing that blue dress it was like something out of a dream.
The fabric hugs her every curve like the dress had been made just for her. Ending at mid-thigh, it leaves enough to the imagination to be tasteful while still teasing. More than the dress though, is the amazingly beautiful woman wearing it. She could have come down in a paper bag and elicited a similar reaction from me. Her hair hangs in soft brown waves, framing her pretty face. She wears just enough makeup to highlight her already beautiful features.
She's too good to be true.
We arrive at the club and I'm more than ready to spend a night unwinding. I'm especially thankful for our day off tomorrow. It's been a long week between our work with Angela, my father's unexpected appearance, and the mess with Bella last night. We order drinks and I smirk when Bella opts for a sweet tea in place of alcohol while we eat our dinner. I assume it has to do with last night's escapades and I can't say I disagree with her decision. But I catch her staring longingly at the dance floor where Garrett and Rose are goofing off together and I'm reminded that it's been a long week for her as well, so I assure her that surely one or two drinks won't hurt.
She orders a margarita and I ask the waitress to refill my vodka and tonic. We sip silently for a while as I try to work up the courage to ask if she'd like to dance. I feel like a prepubescent boy at a middle school dance. Finally, after reminded myself that I am, in fact, a grown man, I grow a pair and just ask her.
"Do you want to dance?"
Before she can answer, Garrett and Rose find their way back to the table. Rosalie pleads with Bella to join her on the dance floor and with a tug of her arm, she agrees.
I spend the next hour watching Bella like a stalker while pretending to listen to Garrett. I know I'm being a complete and total creep, but the way she moves out there. Well, damn.
She catches me staring a few times and I swear she actually tries to make herself look sexier. Assuming that it's possible for her to be any sexier than she already is. Whenever her eyes find mine, she moves her hips that much more. She runs her hands over her breasts and down her sides. She pushes her hands through her hair until it's a wild mess of tangles. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but I think she actually smiles when she sees my reaction to her more sensual moves.
Christ, I'm starting to feel the buzz from my drink.
I watch as she and Rosalie make their way to the bar and turn my attention back to Garrett, hoping I haven't missed too much of whatever story he's been telling me.
"So Sam's just standing there going on and on about how he can't handle Emily's mood swings all while she's standing right behind him. The son of a bitch got himself into so much trouble," Garrett finishes laughing loudly.
"What an idiot," I say with a laugh of my own. Never mind that I'm completely oblivious to what he's talking about.
Bella and Rosalie stay out for a few more songs before returning to the table. Rose says something about heading back to the hotel and all I can think is that I'm not ready to leave. Whatever connection Bella and I have going on tonight I want to preserve it, even if it's just for another hour or so. I've become an addict and she's my favorite brand of heroin. I see her reaching for her coat and my mouth starts moving before my head has caught up.
"Actually, if Bella wants to stay, I could go for a few more drinks."
To my surprise, she agrees and I physically have to focus on keeping myself from breathing a sigh of relief. Garrett and Rose leave to catch a cab and then it's just me and Bella. Alone.
Things are completely normal for a while. We make conversation about anything and everything, just like always. It's after I order another drink that the energy in the air begins to charge. We fall silent and I tap my fingers lightly against my thigh in time to the song the DJ plays. Images keep flashing through my head of the sexy Bella from earlier and I start to crave a more physical connection with her. I want to ask her to dance, but that's a very very bad idea. My self control is already waning and this isn't helping.
On the one hand, I want nothing more than to move my hands all over that sexy body of hers while she moves in time to the beat. I want to experience this Bella up close and personal instead of from afar. On the other hand, I'm not sure I can keep myself from doing something stupid were I to get that close to her.
I swirl the liquid around in my glass, going through the pros and cons a million times in my head. It's just a few dances. Friends can dance can't they?
Not the way you want to dance with Bella.
Surely I can contain myself. I'm not an animal, I have self-control. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to enjoy a dance or two with Bella without completely losing my cool. I set my drink down, knowing that I've made my decision.
"Would you like to dance with me?" I ask for the second time tonight.
Please say yes. Please say yes.
"Sure," she says after a moment.
I stand up and offer her my hand, trying in vain to ignore the electric shock sent through my body when she takes it. We weave our way through the crowd until I find a space for us among the other dancers. She looks up at me, waiting for me to make the first move. I hesitate only a moment before my hands find their way to her hips. She seems nervous at first, but I can feel her relax beneath my hands as we begin to move together. It stars out innocent enough. My hands remain firmly on her hips as they sway back and forth. But the more we lose ourselves in the music, the more my inhibitions go out the window and my hands begin to roam, straying far from safe territory.
My left hand slowly makes it way further and further down her back until I'm cupping the curve of her ass in my palm. I can't tell if it's the bass from the song or my own heartbeat that's pounding in my ears, but I'm terrified as I wait for her reaction. To my immense pleasure, she lets out a soft moan, urging me on.
That's when I know that she feels it too. She's well aware of the chemistry between us, the electricity in the air.
I move my right hand to join my left and pull her closer to me, running my nose along her jaw and fighting the urge to bury my face in the soft skin of her neck. She rolls her head back, closing her eyes at the sensation. Her hands run down my arms and to my lower back, pulling me even closer. Is it even possible for us to be any closer? The feeling of her body is killing me in all the best ways. Having her this close to me, well, there are just no words to describe the sensations coursing through my veins.
She turns so her back is facing me and continues moving her body slowly, sensually, against my own. My hands find their way back to her hips and heat spreads through my body like a wildfire at the feeling of her ass grinding against my cock. She throws her head back, resting it on my shoulder and I take the opportunity to run my hands along her sides and across her taught stomach, effectively making her shiver despite the heat.
We're all hands and touch and sweat and heat. My breathing picks up and it's not just from the physical exertion of our dancing.
My hand slides down her thigh and I tug her as close to my body as possible. I need the friction, the touch, the feeling of her skin. Apparently she feels the same, because she reaches her arm around my neck, pulling my face into the crook of hers. She slides her way down my body and fuck if I'm not growing harder with every passing second. I spin her back around so she faces me and hitch one leg over my hip, pushing myself into her. I swear her eyes roll back into her head.
A thin sheen of sweat covers her body making her impossibly sexier. The lights illuminate her skin. Blue to red to purple to green to yellow and repeat.
I can't tell you how long we stay on the floor like that. She moves and I follow. I pull her closer and she rewards me with a grind of her hips. The electricity that's been in the air all night sizzles every time our bodies come together. I can't get enough of her and, if her body language is any indication, she feels exactly the same. My muscles scream from overuse, but I can't bring myself to stop. I may never get a chance at this again, so I plan to soak up every second.
We stay until last call.
When the lights come up we're one of only a few couples left on the floor. Her arms are still wrapped around my shoulders, mine wrapped securely around her waist. It takes us a few minutes to catch our breath. We stare into each other's eyes and I can see the hunger I feel reflected in her gaze. Reluctantly we pull away and return to the table to grab our jackets and Bella's bag.
Taxi cabs line the streets outside, looking to pick up the stumbling leftover patrons. We easily find one and once inside, I give the driver the address of the hotel. We sit on opposite sides of the backseat as the taxi pulls out on to the street and toward our destination. Bella busies herself looking out the window and sobriety hits me in the face with a smack. The weight of what's just happened threatens to crush me. Not because I regret it, but because, now that I've had a taste, I'm not sure I can bring myself to stop.
I want her. God, do I fucking want her.
Even now, sitting in this damned taxi, I can feel the electricity pulsing between us. Months of keeping myself in check, of trying to deny my feelings for her and in one night I destroy it all.
It doesn't help that she's been on my mind nearly every second today. Ever since hearing her whisper those words last night, I haven't been able to get her out of my head. I'm in love with her, I know that now. There's simply no denying it. What I didn't realize is how easy it is to fall even more in love with her. Like today for instance, when she was able to comfort Angela when no one else could. Or, how beautiful she was, commanding everyone's attention at dinner earlier this evening. Then, as if her personality weren't amazing enough, she completely floors me with that sexy little performance of hers at the club tonight. I don't know if I have the strength to stay away from her anymore.
We pull up outside the hotel and I pay the cabbie before helping Bella from the backseat. We're silent as we make our way up the walk and to the entrance. I hold open the door for her and she mumbles a thank you. The lobby is completely deserted. I check my watch, not all surprisingly it's just after two in the morning. We make our way to the elevator and I push the call button. After what feels like an eternity, the car arrives and we both walk inside.
I chance a look at Bella when I hit the button for the twelfth floor. Her eyes are trained on the ground and she's gnawing on her bottom lip. I sigh and her eyes snap up as if noticing for the first time that I'm actually here. I look at her and we make eye contact for a brief second before both retreating back to the safety of staring at the floor.
I can feel it building again, charging the air around us. That damned electricity will be the death of me.
She chances another glance in my direction and a smile tugs at my lips at the sight of her looking up at me from beneath her long lashes. I rub my neck with my hand and casually take a step closer to her, hearing her breathing pick up the closer I get. I take another step and our shoulders are almost touching. She shuffles her feet and resumes looking at the ground, studying the red carpet beneath our feet. I take a deep breath and move my hand ever so slightly toward hers. Our finger tips brush the slightest bit.
And then I'm on her.
I take her face in both my hands and meet her lips with my own. I feel her entire body go rigid, but she adjusts and welcomes me, pressing her lips more firmly against my own. I step closer to her, backing her against the wall of the elevator. Her arms wind their way around my neck and she arches her back, deepening our kiss.
I run her tongue along her bottom lip before taking it softly between my teeth, nibbling. She moans softly, opening her mouth, and it only spurs me on. My tongue meets with hers and it's like every cell in my body fires all at once. I'm acutely aware of everything she's doing. The way her tongue is moving confidently against my own, the way her back continues to arch, the hitching and irregularities in her breath.
Her hands wind their way into her hair and I'm on fire. It's a delicious slow burn. She tastes… Christ, she tastes better than any fantasy I've ever had. She's soft and sweet and Bella. I push her further into the wall and she arches her back again, pressing her breasts into my chest. The feeling is fucking indescribable.
Nothing I have imagined in the past months could ever compare to the real thing. The feeling her lips on mine, the taste of her tongue, it's like she was made for me.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I register that we must be giving the security guard on duty one hell of a show, but I can't bring myself to care. I hitch one of her legs over my hip and she throws her head back, letting out a breathy moan. I take the opportunity to kiss the soft skin of her neck. I've been thinking of it ever since she pulled my head down at the club and once again it's better than my imagination let on. She lets out a semi-hysterical giggle as I kiss a circuit down the nape of her neck to her collarbone and back again.
Bella is a taste I could easily become addicted to. Fucking hell, I'm already addicted.
I rest one of my hands on her shoulder and smile in satisfaction at the presence of goose bumps on her skin. My girl is enjoying herself that much is for sure.
My girl? Where the hell did that come from?
I don't even care. I just want more. More Bella. More of her lips, more of her tongue, more of her skin, more of that sweet as sin friction. I can never get enough.
We're interrupted by the bell signaling our arrival at the twelfth floor.
I reluctantly pull back, chuckling softly to myself as we both attempt to catch our breath.
"That was," she begins.
"Amazing," I finish for her.
"Exactly," she laughs.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," I admit. And then, because I can't keep my mouth shut, I add, "I love you, Bella."
She freezes and I watch in horror as her eyes go wide. It's like she's been under some sort of spell for the last two hours and she's finally broken free. The realization washes over her and it's painful for me to watch as what I can only assume is regret appears on her face.
Shit. Fuck me. What have I done?
"Bella, I—"
"I should go," she says pushing past me and through the elevator door.
"Shit," I mutter to myself. "Bella wait!"
She's halfway to her door when I catch her arm and spin her around to face me. Despite my best efforts, I can't get her to look at me. Her eyes remain trained on the ground. Gone is the girl who danced freely with me at the club, the girl who, just moments ago, was kissing me in the elevator. Gone is my beautiful Bella and in her place is a shell. I've fucked up royally.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, I wasn't thinking."
"You don't have to apologize," she mumbles. "It was just a slip of the tongue."
"I never said it wasn't true, Bella. I just should have known better than to say it now."
Her head snaps up. "What?"
It's now or never.
"I'm in love with you, Bella. I have been for a long time, I think."
"Are you insane? You're –"
Don't say it.
"You're married!" she finally finishes. She starts to walk away again, but I grab her arm.
"Tell me you don't feel it! Tell me you don't feel the damn tension in the room whenever we're together. I know you do, Bella! I know it!"
"Edward, please."
"I know you do," I insist again.
She shakes her head, but I can see the confusion written all over her face. We're more on the same page than she'd like to admit.
"Edward, I need – I need to go. I need to be alone, to think," she mumbles to the ground. I have no choice but to let her go. She takes the five steps to her room and slides the keycard, disappearing behind the door and leaving me alone in the hallway.
"Damn it," I shout kicking at the ground.
I'm back in my room, taking off my tie and trying to relax my thoughts. I head into my kitchen and pour myself a glass of ice water, chugging it down. My head is pounding and to say I hate myself is the understatement of the century. I let things go too far with Bella tonight. I'm sure she must hate me now. The dancing, the kiss in the elevator, my big mouth… I should have listened to my rational side. But there's something about Bella that doesn't do much to make me a rational man.
I'm consumed by my thoughts when I hear the door open from her joined room.
I turn and see her leaning against the door, looking lost in her own thoughts. Her eyes meet mine and can see that she's conflicted by something. I curse myself to the deepest pits of hell for putting her in this position. I should have kept everything to myself. She looks like she's about to lose it, so I walk to her and take her hand. I lead her across the room and take a seat on the bed. She stands before me, looking at the floor. She's completely silent and I'm aching for her to say something, anything. She could tell me to jump off a cliff right now and I'd gladly accept the offer if it meant she were to do more than stand there looking broken.
I'm about to open my mouth to comfort her when she takes me completely by surprise.
Tentatively, with shaking hands, she reaches up to touch my face. I close my eyes and place my hand over hers as she rests it on my cheek.
"Bella," I begin.
"Shh," is her only reply.
I watch as she slowly places one leg, then the other, on either side of my own, sitting above me on the bed. I almost stop breathing as she leans in and closes the space between her lips and mine. I can't stop myself then. My hands roam almost as if they're acting on their own, down her back, her sides, her breasts... I can't get enough of her.
She lets out a gasp as I move my mouth to her neck and kiss the sweet skin there. Gone is the frenzy we experienced earlier. This is slower, more sensual. We take our time and enjoy whatever—well, whatever this is. I haven't quite decided what's going on. She busies herself with un-doing the buttons on my shirt and pulling herself as close to me as she can possibly get. I slip my fingers under the straps of her dress and slowly move them down her shoulders, kissing the bare skin left behind.
Rationality kicks in at that moment. If we go any further, it will be too late for either of us to turn back. I don't know what will come of this if things continue, but this night will change everything. For the better or worse, I can't tell.
I pull her away from me, missing the contact almost immediately, and look into her eyes.
"Bella, love. You're sure this is what you want?"
She hesitates a moment and looks down at our bodies, close together in a way we've only dreamed of until now. This is it, this is the turning point. Everything has the potential to change right here in this moment. When she looks back at me, I can see the determination in her eyes. Her only response is to kiss me, with more intensity this time. She takes my bottom lip between her teeth and lightly bites down. I moan into her mouth and meet my tongue with hers.
And we are lost.
I pull her down on the bed with me, never letting our lips part for so much as a second. I return to her straps, pulling them the rest of the way down her arm and shimmy her dress from her body. For a moment I can only stare, awestruck at the pure beauty of the woman before me. Her hair falls in a curtain around her face. Her brown eyes are full of fire. Her full breasts, her creamy skin, her soft stomach, her tight thighs and ass… For all my thoughts, my dreams of this moment, it was nothing compared to the real thing. I run my hands down her shoulders and she shivers as I reach around her back to unclasp her bra, beautiful black lace, and slip it from her shoulders. She looks down, embarrassed. I reach out and put one finger under her chin, bringing her gaze to meet mine.
"Please don't hide yourself. You're beautiful," I whisper, kissing her.
Bella props herself up on her elbows and reaches up to push my shirt from my shoulders. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down on top of her, kissing my shoulders, my neck, my chest. I can't get enough of the feeling of her soft lips on my skin, leaving pure fire wherever they touch. It amazes me how well we fit together, but at the same time, I've always know were made for each other. Halves of the whole, each other's missing piece.
She places feather-light kisses on my neck, reaching up to lose her hands in my hair. I can feel her heart beating, fast as a humming bird's wings, as I place my head against her chest. I don't think I've ever heard a more beautiful sound on this earth.
She reaches for my belt, eager to remove the last remnants of the space between our bodies. I'm eager to comply, as I kick my slacks and boxers from my legs and return with kissing my sweet angel. She runs her fingers lightly over my hardened cock and I suck in a breath through my teeth. But I don't want this to be about me. Not tonight. This needs to be about her. She gasps lightly as I kiss my way down her neck, kneading her perfect breasts and lingering there for a few moments, before continuing my trail down her body. I kiss her belly and thighs, nipping lightly at her skin. I'm consumed by the want, no – the need—to lose myself in the beautiful, wonderful, amazing woman before me. How I've lived without her until this point, I will never understand.
I slide her panties down her long legs and push her body up the bed until her head rests on the pillow. I take a moment to appreciate the sight of her, smiling sweetly, lost in the moment with her hair fanning around her like a halo. My beautiful Bella.
She gasps as I continue the slow torture of kissing her thighs, straying from where she wants me the most. When she's writing beneath me, completely lost in the sensation of my kisses, I finally drag my tongue, slowly as I can, up and down the apex of her thighs, loosing myself in the taste of her sweet flesh. Slowly, I ease one finger into her and she gasps at the sensation, her breath hitching as I move it slowly in and out, finding a rhythm she enjoys. She grabs the sheets between her delicate hands and arches her back as I focus my tongue on her clit. She breathes out my name, a soft sigh slipping between her lips. When she can take it no more, her entire body shakes and her core clenches, wracked with the feelings of pleasure I've given her.
Her pleasure is necessary to my own, and I can feel my own arousal building, straining, as the smallest of moans escapes her lips. I will do anything to make her happy, anything and everything. She places her hands on my shoulders and tugs lightly, until I find myself once again face to face with her beauty. She looks into my eyes, never breaking her hold on me for even a fraction of a second, as I slip into her.
My imagination could never do this moment justice.
"Christ, Bella. You feel – you're so amazing, baby."
Being with Bella is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's as if I'm examining my emotions under a microscope. Everything is magnified, intensified, a hundred times over. The love, the pleasure, the sensuality – all more intense than anything I've ever known.
She breaks our eye contact to pull me closer, running her hands over my back and sending electric shocks of the most delicious kind down my spine. I lose myself in her, reveling in the feel of every inch of her skin. Moving within Bella feels so perfect, so right, I couldn't imagine ever being with another soul again. I take my time, thrusting slowly in and out. I hear her breath pick up in my ear and find myself moving faster in response. She wraps her legs around my hips, pulling me impossibly closer and pure instinct takes over as I continue to make love to her.
Because that's just exactly what this is. Love – in its rawest, most pure form.
"Edward, please," she sighs.
"What? What do you want, Bella?" I whisper in her ear.
"More. I need more," is her breathy reply.
I deepen my thrusts, making them quicker and she pushes her hips up to meet me at every single one. There's nothing in the world, nothing but me and Bella. It's all touch, sensation, the feeling of her lips on my neck, the feeling of her hands on my arms, the feeling of my cock buried so impossibly deep. I know exactly what she means, I need more too. More friction, more Bella, more, more, more. We move, we writhe, our bodies meeting at measured intervals. She moans and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. We're in sync, so perfectly in sync.
She pushes her nails into my back and I feel her clench around me as she finds her release, it's enough. It's enough to push me over the edge. I'm not far behind.
A sense of pure elation takes over me as I come to my own sweet release. My entire body shakes as I come and her name falls from my lips, over and over and over, like the sweetest prayer. I've never felt such intense pleasure. Everything, everything is alive. Every nerve ending is on fire, every cell is pulsing hard and fast. Everything is consumed by thoughts of her. She truly is perfect. I place my head on her shoulder, breathing heavily, careful not to put too much of my weight on her.
She sighs contentedly and kisses the top of my head, playing absentmindedly with my hair. I just stay there, trying to catch my breath and placing the occasional kiss on her collar bone, her check, her neck… I'm not sure how long we lay like that. We don't have any need for words in that moment, and I'm not even sure I could ever find the proper words if I were to try. Nothing matters except for her; nothing will ever matter as much as her for the rest of my life. I feel as though my entire world has shifted on its axis, orienting my very existence around hers.
Nothing can taint this beautifully magic moment and as Bella rests her head in the crook of my neck and falls asleep, I don't think of the impending consequences. I don't think of what this means for the two of us – what it could mean for her. There is no world outside this room; there are no responsibilities or obligations. There is no such thing as disappointment or expectations. There is no right or wrong. There is only Bella and the undeniable love I feel for her. Deep in my mind, my rational side worries about what we've done. My rational side knows there will be consequences. It knows that tonight has changed both of our lives forever, but I can't bring myself to care.
Regardless of what's to come, nothing could ever make me regret this. Because in this moment, I have everything I've ever wanted. I've found true happiness, circumstances be damned. For the first time in my life, I feel alive. It's like waking up after hibernating for so long. She's brought me to life, changed me forever. She's saved me. I pull her closer to me, not wanting any space between us and willing the sun not to rise. I don't want this night to ever end. This perfect, perfect night should last forever.
If only it could.
"I love you, Bella, as I've never loved anyone else," I whisper as I lose myself to sleep.
I'm going to keep it brief and just let that sink in. ;)
Stay tuned to see how things turn out next week! Thank you all so much for your support and encouraging reviews! Even those of you who don't agree with the situation have made the process of writing this a more enjoyable experience. Keep the feedback coming!
Until next time!