Making Up is Hard to Do
Chapter 6
Ensign Sean Murphy was strong and very quick. He feinted to his right, spun, and tackled B'Elanna Torres around her waist, throwing her upon the bed. He climbed on top of her, straddling her legs as he pressed his lips against hers. One hand ripped her dress top and the other slid between her thighs to probe her panties. His erection begged for release as he fumbled to undo his pants. This is going to be so easy and so much fun!
B'Elanna suddenly relaxed and did not fight him. "Oh Sean!," she cried. "Are you ready for Klingon love?" Her eyes were teasing and she licked her luscious lips with her tongue.
Sean was panting. He was so revved up. "Give it up, B'Elanna! I want you so much!"
She growled and easily flipped him over; straddling him while holding his hands above his head as her covered breasts hung centimeters above his mouth.
The sudden move surprised even the skilled wrestler. Man, she is so strong and so hot. Paris must have had one hell of a time with her! Now it's my turn!
Then with a smile on her face she let go of his hands. "Oh Sean, I have wanted to do this for so long!"
He beamed. "Yes! Do it, B'Elanna! DO ME RIGHT NOW!"
She glared. "Here it comes!" Months of pent up anger exploded as she took her balled up right fist and smashed it into his nose, breaking it instantly. That was followed by a second strike to his clavicle, cracking it. A third shot with both fists to his groin ended any thought of using that particular body part today or probably longer.
Sean screamed in agony as he doubled up. His blood spattered onto B'Elanna's bed sheets. She rolled off and pushed him onto the deck of her bedroom where he lay incapacitated and moaning. She calmly tapped her commbadge. "Torres to security. I have been attacked in my quarters."
Suddenly something else occurred. "Yellow alert. This is a drill. All personnel to their stations. Yellow alert. This is a drill."
By coincidence, Voyager's security chief Lieutenant Commander Tuvok had scheduled a quarterly yellow alert drill that went off just as B'Elanna made her announcement over the comm. A security team was thankfully nearby and ran to her quarters immediately accompanied by Commander Chakotay. All other personnel were scrambling up and down the turbolifts heading to their designated stations and jamming the corridors.
/
In the Holodeck, Ensign Aubrey confronted Tom Paris with his image.
Aubrey was insistent. "Lieutenant, you have to listen to me. I am not B'Elanna. I am Ensign Frederique Aubrey. You have to listen to me. Tom? Tom!"
He blinked. A nice voice. "Okay, Freddy. I hear you."
She held up his picture. "Who is this, Tom?"
He looked at his picture. "I don't know." Tom remembered aged street bums in Marseille that looked very similar.
Aubrey was stunned. That did it. "Tom, this is your picture. I just took it. You are not well, Tom. You need professional help. You need to listen to what I am saying. Do you understand me, Lieutenant Paris?"
"Yessssss." His response came out slowly and not convincingly. "Just leave me alone. I'm fine. Just fine."
Aubrey was not going to leave Tom Paris alone. She had to push him, exactly what he did not want from her or B'Elanna. "Tom, this is very important. Do you want to get back with B'Elanna? Do you really love her? Or are you just an idiot?"
What? An idiot? No hesitation. "Yes, I want her! I love her!" She was all he wanted. Then a thought occurred to him. All I want? What does B'Elanna want? I am so blind.
Freddy had heard enough to confirm that Tom at least desired his mate. "Okay. Now listen carefully. I am a trained psychiatrist, Tom."
"Humm? A what?" He sounded confused. She's a biology shrink?
The green-eyed ensign continued to push. "Tom, listen to me. I am going to recommend a radical Bajoran psychological treatment for you. Obviously Captain Janeway will have to be briefed and approve it, as well as the doctor. But if you do what I am going to tell you, you will have a very good chance of resolving your personal issues. You will be able to pursue a productive relationship with B'Elanna or any other woman. Frankly, if you don't do it, you will be dead in a matter of weeks. Two months at the most."
Tom perked up. Dying? Without B'Elanna he might as well be deceased. He felt that way now, for he was dead inside. Piloting be damned. It was her that mattered.
"What does this involve? I'll do anything."
Aubrey talked plainly. "It is a Bajoran religious ritual. It consists of pre-ritual meditation, strong relaxants that you inhale, and mental techniques that allow you to confront yourself. This method is so potent that I would not recommend using it on anyone other than someone in your mental state who has serious unresolved issues with yourself and those you love. It can be very dangerous."
Issues? I have issues, yes, but I love B'Elanna. "B'Ella? Are you still there?"
Aubrey bit her lower lip in frustration. "Tom, I am not B'Elanna! Listen to me! I know you need drastic intervention right now because I have watched you decline for months. Look at your holopicture. You love B'Elanna but you have so much pain and resistance to bonding with her that you cannot move ahead. She is your lifeline, Tom, your mate. But you must ask and answer your nagging questions. You must confront yourself."
Tom was even more confused. "Move ahead? Lifeline? Confront? Questions? What kind of questions?"
"Tom, trust me. It will become very clear what they are when you undergo the pre-ritual."
What did he have to lose? "Okay. I'll do it. When do we start?"
"As soon as I get permission from Captain Janeway and the EMH. This is very grave, Tom. You could turn psychotic but that is rare. You could also die during it. But most likely you will open your mind and come out of this far better off than you were before. I know, believe me."
Tom nodded. If it would help him to be able to interact with B'Elanna and truly open himself up to her it was worth it. He was dead anyway. He could not live without her and it was more than worth the risk.
"Yeah, okay."
/
Then Tom heard it. "Torres to security. I have been attacked in my quarters." That was followed by the yellow alert drill warning.
Tom's eyes shot wide open and he yelled. "B'Ella!" He got up, knocked the table over, and sprinted for the Holodeck door. His only thoughts were of her. He was fast but even Ensign Aubrey was amazed that he could move as he did in his depleted condition.
Running into the personnel-jammed corridor, Tom had to get from Deck Six to the officer's quarters on Deck Three. The turbolift was jammed with scurrying personnel so he moved to a Jefferies tube access panel. He could not find the proper key nearby so he forced it open through sheer adrenaline.
He dislocated two fingers on his right hand and gouged his left one when he did it. He did not care. Bleeding profusely, he shoved himself into the tube and wrapped a handkerchief around his wound.
Aubrey tried to follow him to no avail. Given the crazed look in Paris's eyes, Freddy commed security that Tom was not himself and was heading to Lieutenant Torres's quarters to protect her. She was careful how she worded that warning. If Tom was Phasered in his mental and physical state he could die regardless of the weapon's setting.
Crawling along like a wild animal inside one tube and then another, Paris left a trail of blood behind him. He eventually found a ladder and despite his injuries drove himself up it by sheer willpower. Three decks later he emerged exhausted in a parallel corridor near B'Elanna's quarters. Falling out of the tube onto the deck, he stood up, wobbled a bit, and then oriented himself. He turned and shoved crewmen aside in a panic to get to Torres while ignoring the burning pain in his hands as he ran to her.
When he reached her quarters the door was locked open. A security guard was standing on each side. Having been warned not to interfere, they looked at him, nodded, and said nothing. A bloodied Ensign Murphy was on a gurney being escorted first to sickbay and then the brig. Good for you, B'Ella! The petaQ!
My B'Elanna! Tom's eyes suddenly went mad with fear. Was she okay? He dared to glance inside.
There he saw an obviously distraught B'Elanna Torres sitting on her couch looking downward at the shattered holopicture in her right hand. Captain Janeway hugged her and whispered comforting words. Commander Chakotay was sitting next to both of them holding B'Elanna's left hand and trying to calm her down.
Something made Chakotay look up. He saw what appeared to be a skeleton in a uniform. He looks like death!
Tom was panting, bleeding, and obviously terrified. But his pose was what struck the ship's second-in-command. Paris was leaning through the doorway with his arms outstretched on either side looking as if he had been crucified.
Tom froze. What should I do? She is rattled but okay. Thank God. She has them to be with her. I guess I should leave. He started to turn away.
Chakotay figured it was now or never. Neither Janeway nor he had wanted to see Tom and B'Elanna split apart. They knew the two were good for each other so he took a chance.
"B'Elanna," he said, "Tom's here."
Torres looked up through watery eyes and saw Tom Paris, now a gaunt and desperate figure who was the love of her life. He was leaving but she did not hesitate. "Tom? Tom!" She dropped the picture and ran to him and leaped into his arms, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him furiously and passionately in the corridor. Startled crew members moved away and went about their business.
For a few minutes there was no one on Voyager but Tom and B'Elanna. He held her waist tightly and kissed her with equal passion as he stroked her hair and forehead ridges. "B'Ella, my beautiful B'Ella! My God I have missed you! I love you so much!"
He pulled back and looked at her watery brown eyes with his wet blue ones. "Are you okay? What the hell happened?"
"Tell you later. Hold me, Tom. Never let me go." He is so skinny!
"Yellow alert is cancelled. Return to normal routine. Yellow alert is canceled."
/
Several hours later and with his wounds healed, Tom sat in his quarters holding B'Elanna as they drank raktajino. He had eaten a full meal, his first in four months, although his system was not quite delighted when it once again encountered solid food. He was exhausted but happier than he could remember for a long time.
B'Elanna rarely cried but she had sobbed in his arms for three hours. He held her tightly and talked to her softly until she eventually calmed down. She had cried more for Tom than for her.
Her quarters were now a crime scene so she brought along some essentials to spend the night with Tom to include the red nightgown he had given her. He gallantly offered to sleep on the couch but B'Elanna would have none of it. They were going to bed together, as it had been and should be.
They now lay in bed clothes facing each other. For the first time in months they talked and kissed. They admitted that neither of them had sex with anyone and how miserable they had been. And they were stupid, yes.
But B'Elanna, not Tom, also knew with confidence what had caused the split to happen in the first place. But this was not the time to talk of marriage. She would wait. But not for long. Not anymore.
They both sat up when Tom indicated he had something important to say. Is he finally going to ask me?
Not quite. "B'Ella, listen to me. Our breakup was…appalling. I never want this to happen again. What I am going to say to you now will not be easy. But I want you to know that I love you no matter what and you have to trust me."
B'Elanna was biting her lower lip now and moved into his lap unwilling for him to stop holding her. "Okay, Tom. You know I do. What is this about?"
Tom looked into her brown eyes and melted. He wanted to never let her go. But he had to keep it together long enough to get this out. Their future depended upon it.
"Bea, no matter what we want now we cannot go back to our relationship, as it was. It's over."
B'Elanna's heart skipped a beat. Is he dumping her for good? Kahless! So many times in her life. Now him. She clutched at him even harder. "Please don't leave me, Tom! I can't take it anymore."
Tom was scared. It had not come out quite right. "No, Bea, I am not going to leave you. I will never leave you again. Never. As long as I am breathing." She relaxed a bit and sighed.
He was now very serious. "I am talking about that our issue, our argument, was a symptom of a bigger problem. I am reluctant to let you in."
She looked at him. Yes! He almost gets it. It is more than that but here is progress.
"But I need to overcome that problem if we are to have…a life together."
A life together! That could mean anything.
"It is going to take some drastic mental intervention to get me to confront myself." He paused to take a breath. She kept looking into his eyes while hugging him close.
He hugged her back and continued. "I have just been cleared to undergo a Bajoran ritual that will cause me to look at myself as I really am, not what I think I am. When I come out of this, whatever is holding me back from letting you in should be purged."
Now B'Elanna knew that Klingon's had various meditative rituals about mental and emotional issues, as did Vulcans. She practiced a few of them herself to control her temper most of the time. The Vulcan techniques worked. But this Bajoran one was new to her.
"So Tom, what do you have to do exactly?" She was very concerned but could not resist playing with his hairy chest.
He was distracted but managed to get it out. "Well, I have to go into the bathroom here for twenty-four-hours, look into the mirror, and invoke a Bajoran spirit who will guide me through the process. There is a lot of work in preparation and I have to be alone. And, umm, I also have to be naked when I go through it."
She stopped what she was doing. "What? Did you say naked?
"Yes. The idea is to die symbolically and then be reborn. I strip away all barriers and enter into the ritual as I entered life, naked and dependent upon others for survival. In this case, it is me I must depend upon."
B'Elanna was skeptical. "Tom, is this for real?"
"Oh, it's for real alright. We have a non-licensed psychiatrist on board who is familiar with the practice. And the EMH is also aware of it, although he never witnessed it first-hand. Tuvok has also heard of it."
B'Elanna bit her lower lip. "Just who is this unlicensed shrink?"
Tom took a deep breath but she would find out anyway. "Ensign Aubrey."
B'Elanna glared at him. "I want to talk with her, Tom. Now."