Disclaimer – I don't own any of the characters that appear from the Gravitation series. Nor do I own Sophie cause she wont lemme keep her (Yes Soph is based on a real character 3) Anyway Maki Murakami owns them unfortunately.

Summary – Yuki abused and cheated on Shuichi in the past. And now its up to Hiro to show Shu that he is loved and wanted in this world (Bad Summary) WARNING: Mature themes. Yushu, Shiro, Yuma, hints of Kiro. Please R&R!

I yawned and took a final glance at the man in the kitchen making omelets before trotting off towards my own room. His shower damp hair pulled into a ponytail high on his head swung about him as he moved and swayed slightly to the music on the radio, which I think was some band called Snow Patrol. I'm not really sure. I haven't listened to any music properly in months. They didn't allow radios or walkmans at the institute because we could strangle ourselves with the leads snaking around our necks and here at Hiros'… well I just haven't got around to it. To tell the truth, I didn't really want to slip back into my old life just yet. I know it seems crazy but I guess that I just haven't quite convinced myself that I would be staying here permanently with Hiro and at some random point in the near future I would be sent back to the institute practically kicking and screaming. No… there's no point in getting my hopes up just yet is there?

My room is different in daylight, it doesn't seem as threatening but then again I'm just crazy aren't I? I giggle at the thought quietly as I grabbed my clothes for the day. A black tank top, a long sleeved shirt that I could wear as a jacket and some jeans and I made my way over to the bathroom, now my private retreat when I wanted to be on my own. I'm surprised that Hiro's left the lock on the door. There's no telling what I could get up to in here if I was depressed or needed to cut – not that there were any blades in the apartment anyway. All the possible things that I could do… I shake the thoughts from my head and try to busy myself, removing my nightshirt and then sliding my PJ bottoms over my skinny and bony hips that jutted out at peculiar angles. A vain attempt to try and block this insane itching from my mind. Most of the cuts and abrasions healed but I guess the itching comes natural to me now. I mean every time a wound makes a pitiful attempt to heal, the itching starts and I suppose I've just had too many wounds.

I reached over to the shower turning it on to its hottest setting but just as I turned to stand into the blazing river of heat, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror hanging above the sink. Have you ever looked at yourself fully naked in the mirror? I know I used to. Trying to make myself look spectacular for the fans… for Yuki… but now I just cant stand the sight of me. It makes me sick to the pit of my stomach.

My eyes, once glittering with sparkles now look hollow and dead, hidden beneath an array of dark greasy pink long hair well in need of a cutting and re-dying with its un-dyed roots now taking up at least several inches, with the hair dangling around my shoulders. I know I used to have long hair, until I randomly felt like cutting it that day but now its an unfamiliar sight to me. I don't look anyway how I feel. If I did then I would probably look like a dead guy walking around with no emotion, like those aliens from Star Trek. I don't know what their called. I only remember them from when I was forced to watch it when I was baby sitting Michael for K that time(1).

My gaze slowly traveled down, away from the grotesque features of my face and landed upon the intense pathway of scar tissue and marks. I managed to push the wave of nausea to the back of my mind and turned my attention back to the map of suffering from the past few years. The intense cutting leaving entire patches of pink scar tissue, that have melded together and now look like pink diseased blotches. They mar my shoulders, thighs and forearms. My left forearm more disfigured that then other one, from me being right handed.

I shook my head, a failed attempt to dislodge the image burned into the back of my eyes and it took all my energy to not throw a punch at the mirror and the monster reflected in it.

I stood there for quite a while, just staring into empty space. My hands clenched into tight fists, with my bitten nails digging deep into my palms until the room was filled with steam and my body had become just a faded shadow on the condensation covered mirror. Only then did I fall into the boiling spray. I smiled as I relaxed, slowly sliding down the cold tiles. Bringing my knees up to my chest, a familiar and known position to me.

"Shuichi?"

I opened my eyes slightly and winced at the bright and un-welcomed light.

"Shuichi?"

My mind vaguely registered that the shower had stopped but I couldn't quite remember what I was doing here. How had I got here? All I knew was that I was cold… so very cold. My body shook as the cold air surrounded, nipped and attacked me. I gasped quietly as a thick blankety towel was draped around my naked form. "Hiro?"

"You fell asleep in the shower Shu-chan. You had me worried something had happened." He wrapped his hands under my light figure and lifted with ease, taking me to his own bedroom as I coughed. The vicious convulsions wracking my lungs and chest.

I smiled weakly and thanked him under my breath as he lay me down and gently rubbed the towel over my crinkled pruned skin but a frown stayed steady upon his face, not even faltering when I weakly grabbed his hand when he had strayed below my mid-section. "Hiro?"

"Hm?" He did even look up to me from where he was rubbing furiously at my legs.

I sat up slowly, with the towel sliding off my bony shoulders. "What's wrong?"

He paused for a moment, still refusing to lay those hazel eyes upon my own. Though he soon slid off me onto the floor and settled against the side of the bed. "Yuki-san called…" I could hardly hear him. His voice barely above a whisper.

My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed quickly trying to stop the bile from rising any further up but I never took my eyes off Hiro. "What did… what did he want?"

"He wants to talk to you about something. He wouldn't tell me what though." He shifted to kneel at my side and slowly took my hand in his slowly and immediately began rubbing at my body through my unconscious shivering. "Babe, don't worry… I wont let him near you… Never ever again… I'll protect you… I promise…"

(1) The Aliens are called Vulcan's if anyone's interested

This chapter hell. This chapter has been staring at me for about a month. I was trying to have this fic finished for at least December as a present for someone but when I introduced Yuki into the picture as him actually being there I just couldn't write. So I attacked it today and deleted everything back up to the shower scene and retyped it all. I know its only a short chapter but I wanted to get it over and done with. But mega BUT! I can at least promise you that chapter 6 will extremely… triggering for self-harmers That's all I'm going to say. But ill post some links to self-harm websites or something. But Ed's foot is numb. Her Pc is beeping and she's going to cuddle in her bed and dream of her boyfriend in Yuki's certain thong from the movie XD!