EDIT – Don't know why I never noticed this, perhaps I was ashamed of rushing such a crap ending to my baby, in a hope it would close a chapter of my life. But I have only noticed that for some reason none of my " or ' have shown up, making for some weird reason. Also :) Reading this has inspired me for a Hiro based Prequel. Watch this space...

LAST CHAPPIE! And for the first time some Hiro POV! Firstly I tried not to use these quotes from one of my fave films but I felt like I had to to get things moving. I know it s a very stereotypical ending and has been used thousands of times by others, but here we go

All disclaimers apply as before.

HIRO POV -

"You'll be sure to give him this when the time is right?"

I took the envelope the writer held out to me. "What is it?" Not only was I surprised that Yuki had the nerve to show his face around here but the state that he was in amazed me. Of course I hadn't seen the writer in over a year but if I hadn't of known him its doubtful that I would have recognized the blond bastard. He had become somewhat of a recluse since this whole fiasco had become public. I don t know if he was just trying to save his reputation and was waiting for it all just to blow over, I'm not sure but right now he looked like shit ran over twice. His eyes were sunken in and bloodshot, they hid behind a greasy mop of hair and he looked pale, deathly pale, like he hadn't seen the sun in months. And thin too. That said he was probably working his guts off on another novel or something.

"Its just something I want him to have. I raised an eyebrow at him. Its not sealed. And I trust you."

Part of me wanted to scream, throw him against a wall and beat the crap out of him for all of the things that he had done to my Shuichi. But for some reason I found myself pitying him. He reminded me of Shuichi and what he had turned into in a weird sort of way, though deep down I felt that he was battling his own demons over what he had done and it sent a chill over my body. He was clearly suffering.

I nodded and watched him turn his back on me and slowly walk back to his car, the Ferrari this time and he lit a cigarette as he did so. I stood there, almost guarding the entrance lest he change his mind and force his way in, but he just sat in his car and took one last glance to the flat before speeding away. I could almost swear that I saw regret and pain in his eyes.

Sighing I turned to close the door and made my way back to our flat and plopped down heavily onto our couch, the letter in hand. Its not sealed On the front was just one word in neat copper-plate writing Shuichi.

SHUICHI POV -

Shuichi.
I'm so sorry.
I never meant for any of this to happen but it has. I cannot put into words how truly sorry I really am for everything. And I wish I could say all of this in person to you and look into your eyes as I tell you this so you know I feel as you do but I'm so afraid of causing you more pain. I have caused you enough in this life. Even now though, as hard as I try I cannot conjure any explanations for what I did to you... to us and what we had. I know I never said how much I cared for you and I have a sinking feeling that if I had admitted my feelings to you when we first met then none of this would never have happened and I would still have you by my side. Your smile lighting up my day. Your laughter making me feel like I was never alone. In all honesty I took you for granted. I always imagined that you would be there for me. Every time when you would run into my arms when you got home. But now our home is empty and my footsteps echo in the halls that once carried your angelic voice. I should have noticed the signs when you were growing away from me. I should have talked to you. I should have done something! And I wish I could say all of this in person to you and look into your eyes as I tell you this so you know I feel as you do but I'm so afraid of causing you more pain. Its stupid, I should of sought it in the one person that I have come to adore and even love. My life is littered with silly, silly mistakes. They are all of my own doing and I don t know why I do these things. Perhaps I'm just afraid of happiness as I have never felt it before and this alien feeling has frightened me. But I know I have no one to blame but myself and it is through my own stupidity and selfishness that I have lost you and although I know that I do not deserve it or even want you to give it all I ask is one thing and then I will leave you be and let you live in happiness with someone that you really deserve. Forgive me Please.
I will love you forever.
Eiri

In all the time that has passed since Yuki's death it wasn't until today that I had the confidence to actually come visit his grave. It doesn't feel like it has been a year. And I try not to think about anything that has happened but I cannot help it. And a deep down gut feeling tells me that it was what I did that lead to the novelist's suicide. I wish that I could shake off this grief and torment but I feel it stronger then ever. Slowly eating away at my soul with each passing moment.

Last week as I cried, Hiro gave me a letter, saying that he thought now was the right time. I have no idea what he meant by that but the knot in my stomach tightened even more as I read it and my heart and soul throbbed in anguish. I must have read it a thousand times now. And it is barely readable now. It has been stained with my tears and blood. Opened and folded so many times that it is barely holding its self together anymore. That first night I clutched it against my chest as I sobbed, rocking backwards and forwards, wishing for it all to be a dream. Hiro had just held me, letting me cry out all of my pain as I tried to make sense of it. And for some reason it all made a terrifying sort of sense really. I just don't think that I was ready to except it. I didn't want to. And I never thought that I would, until today when I finally plucked up the courage to come and visit his grave.

Would he have killed himself if I had been a stronger person? Or even if we had both admitted our feelings to one another? You never know really. Perhaps that scenario has been played out in an alternate reality and if it has worked out for them, then I'm glad, they deserve their happiness.

Even though this tale has been terrifying I have been glad for it. If I hadn't had gotten so desperate that night from being upset with Yuki, I would never have been so stupid enough to cut so deeply. Hiro never would have found me and rescued me. Nothing that I treasure now would have happened.

Although I hated him for the way that he had treated me, I loved him for helping me become what I am now. In the year since his death, things have just gotten better and better for me. I may not have returned quite yet to the musical scene and I may not have quit cutting yet. But I am happier. I am in love with someone that loves me back and doesn't mind what I have become. I am accepted for being me, by everyone now. And if I had never realized what Hiro had really meant to me then I'm sure that I would be right back in the psychiatric ward and no matter how many crazed Americans came to free me and no matter how many bazookas or grenades they had, I wouldn't be released. I wouldn't want to be.

Fresh snow had fallen in the night, giving the graveyard a serene and peaceful feel. It was untouched apart from the footprints that had crunched under mine and Hiro's feet. He had come with me for emotional support and had refused to let me come alone. But now as he loitered behind me, I was grateful that he had.

Kneeling I leant to wipe away the snow that had covered the stone. Here lies Eiri Yuki Uesugi. Son, Brother and Friend. Missed by all.

Fresh snow was beginning to fall around us and wind nipped at our exposed flesh. I couldn't help but smile as I began a new chapter in my life. Yuki had destroyed me but had also helped me find my soul again, giving me the will to live my life.

Taking the guitarist's hand in mine I looked back to the letter that I had given in return, mine held only three words. But letters none the less that had let me release so much of what I felt and would probably mean more to Yuki then anything else that I would have to say. But now I was ready to move on with my life. Although I would never forget my blonde lover and what he meant to me. Even now I know he will forever be on my mind and I will always love him and treasure the time we had together.

I forgive you.

~FIN~

*Sniffle* GAH THE END! Why oh why do I write such depressing crap? I want to say that I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update and finally finish this fiction. Please don t hate me. And thank-you to all of the reviews that I got through this whole drawn out and interesting adventure. It means so much to me and has helped me through some very tough times. It has been a labor of love and I am so glad that it has touched so many of you. Feel free to contact me with anything. And lastly, I'm guessing that if you read this far, you enjoyed it and I'm glad you have. Also look out for a one shot that has been brewing. Like this only more Hiroy.

Ed.