Courage is Not the Absence of Fear
Ch 6: An Impertinant Reply
Professor MacGonagall looked up as they entered her office. She looked rather like a deer caught in headlights for a moment before she cleared her throat briskly.
'Alright, Mr Potter, Miss Evans you can perform the patronus charms, correct? Be alert and let us know if anything...anything feels unsafe.' They nodded and the Professor gave a terse smile. 'Well, if that's all, you may go.'
Lily stepped out of the fireplace in a church near Lily's house. She brushed down her dress and turned to see James step out behind her.
'You look great,' she said pleasantly, brushing away some soot on his cheek, 'Now, please, behave yourself. Do not try and annoy Petunia on her wedding day.'
'Oh I'm sorry, Miss Evans, but I might not be able to help myself.' He gave a wicked grin and offered his arm. Petunia looked utterly flustered at the sight of them. She cast nervous glances at the other wedding guests and eyed James like he was about to hex them all. Actually, knowing James Potter, Petunia had good reason to be worried.
'Tuney, you look beautiful,' Lily said truthfully, to her sister dressed in a slender white gown. 'Where are Mum and Dad?'
'They'll be coming in about an hour, they insisted on getting dressed at home. Look, let's get this over with. Vernon's waiting in here.' She ushered them quickly into a small room where a portly man with a very large moustache and an even larger stomach awaited. Lily caught James' eye and looked away to stop herself laughing.
'Vernon dear, this is Lily, my sister...and her friend.'
'James Potter.' James stepped forward ostentatiously and shook Vernon's hand. The man's small eyes narrowed at them as he flexed his chubby fingers, clearly crushed by James. Men, Lily thought with an exasperated sigh.
'Very nice to meet you, Vernon,' Lily said politely, 'Actually, James and I do have something very important to tell you.' Petunia moved to cover her face, backing away to the other side of the room.
'Well, let's not beat around the bush. Do you believe in magic?'
'Magic,' he looked to his fiancée, sniggering nervously, 'of course not! All that silly saw-a-man-in-half, fancy card trick malarkey-'
'Oh no!' Lily interrupted, 'That is a lot of trickery. We mean real magic...um...change-a-table-into-a-tree magic.'
'What? Petunia, what is this?' The man looked utterly perplexed. 'Magic is just bull made up to distract a couple o' kids.' He muttered under his breath, 'Change a table into a tree...honestly...'
'No, really.' James smirked, whipping out his wand. He promptly turned a low, coffee table into an apple and back with a lazy flick. Petunia screamed and Vernon fell over a chair in his haste to get away from them, shouting a stream of swears.
'Get out!' shrieked Petunia and Lily scampered out with James from the room. The door slammed shut behind them. James leant against the wall, grasping his sides as she shook with laughter.
Lily shushed him, covering her mouth to hide the snorts as she tried to listen through the door. The minutes passed and the door stayed shut, till about an half an hour later when Petunia burst through looking livid.
'Is everything alright?' Lily asked.
'There is still a wedding, if that's what you mean,' snapped Petunia, 'No thanks to your lot.'
'Excuse me, Petunia,' James began, heatedly, 'but this was completely necessary. Lily is your sister.'
Petunia, stared up at him, repulsion evident in her eye, as though magic was contagious. 'Yes, she is; meaning this is a family matter. Stay out of it.'
Lily shook her head James. It was futile, arguing with Petunia. 'Look, Petunia, we're sorry...but he had to know.' She cut Petunia off as she protested, 'Let's just leave it at that. We won't provoke him anymore.' She sent James a significant look. Petunia swept away from them. 'Tuney, isn't there anything we can do?'
Petunia glanced at her watch, 'Go home and tell Mum and Dad to hurry up.'
They stepped out to apparate. James caught Lily's arm.
'You shouldn't let her speak to you like that.'
'It's fine. I'm used to it...James please, just leave it.' She ignored his protests and spun on her heel.
Lily drifted between consciousness and impenetrable darkness...a Bang! Sterile white light blinded her.
'James?' she cried out desperately and felt comforting fingers close around hers. She tried to hold on tight but she was fading into the darkness again.
She stood before a pretty, little house, not unlike hers. It was night but the sky was lit but an ominous symbol above the cottage. A dark green skull stared down at her. A snake hissed, entwined it self around the skull in an alluring manner, its forked tongue flicked through the empty eye sockets.
'What a pretty mudblood.' The hiss rang through her ears till she burst into the white light again. Pain ripped through her as she cried out. Lily felt hands soothe her, stroking her hair, murmuring words of comfort she could not hear. Someone poured a cooling potion to ease the burning in her body and she fell into a troubled slumber...
She stood next to James in front of her house. The back door lay open, burnt off its hinges. Lily turned to James in panic.
'No,' she wailed. The devastating sound rent the air as she stumbled towards the house. James rushed to her, holding her back as she fought to get inside.
He silenced her, 'Homenum Revelio.' She paused briefly, eyes scanning the house of movement before breaking James' grip on her arm.
'Mum? Dad?' she screamed, as she desperately threw open doors. Tears fell rapidly as she staggered upstairs, tripping on the top step, ripping her dress. She crawled to their room, sobbing at the sight before her.
'No, no, no,' she cried at the sight of two bodies lying crumpled in the middle of the room. Her fathers figure lay on top of her mothers in an obvious attempt to protect her. Lily fell over them. They were still warm; their entwined in each others.
'Mummy, please God. No!' she howled, shaking each piteously. Their faces were soft, eyes open yet gazing far, far past her. Her fingers traced their familiar features; her tears splashed on their skin, unbeknownst to them.
'Daddy, wake up...please, please God. Don't do this to me,' she wailed.
'Oh precious,' a high voice drawled from behind her. She turned weakly and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of a masked lady leaning gracefully on the dressing table. 'Did the pretty, little mudblood come home to find Mum and Dad had gone bye-bye?'
Lily was too weak to even protest. She let the tears fall and defiantly faced what would surely be death, gripping her parents. As the masked witch raised her wand, James burst into the room, blasting a banishing charm at her. The last thing Lily remembers is a flash of purple light speeding towards her and burning pain cleaving through her like hot knives.
The white light claimed her again. Lily gasped hoarsely. She appeared to be lying in the hospital wing. A familiar mop of black hair rested on her hand. He stirred at her sound.
'James,' she croaked, 'what happened? Why am I here?' He shushed her gently, swiping her hair plastered to her forehead in cold sweat. Madam Pomfrey bustled over to her and gently leant over her.
'Lily dear, how do you feel?' Why was everyone being so gentle and patronising to her. She tried to think past the dull, pounding pain that seemed to emanate from the very core of her body.
'Fine,' she lied through gritted teeth, 'Could you please tell me what's happening?' Lily kept asking till James gently knelt beside her. Madam Pomfrey sighed and left closing the curtains around her. Lily waited till the footsteps of the matron faded, till she turned to James.
'Lily, what is the last thing you can remember?' he asked, taking her hand in both of his.
'The last thing I can remember...is apparating from just outside the church grounds to my house? What...about Petunia's wedding? What happened?'
James sighed miserably, 'Yes, Lily, we apparated to your house...and...And the back door was broken-'
'What? No, that was just my dream.'
James looked completely broken as he shook his head sadly. The piercing shriek that followed broke the hearts of those who heard it. It couldn't be, yet it was...Lily was living her worst nightmare.
She doesn't know for how long she cried and moaned into James' shirt, only that Lily had fallen asleep in his arms, and that when she woke the next morning, before dawn the next day, he still cradled her.
He blearily opened his eyes as she stirred. Lily clung desperately to him as he made to move. She needed him. They didn't speak but sat in warm companionship watching the sun slowly rise.
Memory after memory of her parents flew through her mind; her mothers embrace, her fathers voice. Words from her mother's letters floated through her mind and fell quietly from her lips.
'And, I encouraged you to claim your life,
And fight like hell for your right to be,
And the best gift I could ever give you
was to say 'yes' to your dreams,
that were not my own.'
Never had Lily felt so lost, so helpless. A void seemed to open up within her. She pulled James around her more securely. It felt like she would simply melt away to nothing if he let go.
I'm so Sorry. I feel like a complete bitch...cos the fluff in the last chapter was to give a false sense of security...but this chapter...it had to happen, for me. I hated having to writing it though...the part when she's in the house; I was crying. The words from her mothers letter; crying...don't know how JK does it.
This chapter is dedicated to parents everywhere cos they are just super!
Disclaimer: The words from Lily's mother's letters: Extract from 'Passing' by Margeret Sloan-Hunter from 'My Daughter, My Joy' A book of quotes my parents got me.