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Chapter 07 : Old news, bad news
My eyelids are so heavy that I'm having a hard time opening my eyes. I'm still in this weird place situated between sleep and awakening. The background noise stirs me slowly from my sleep to help me come back to the real world. I feel dizzy and my vision is still blurry when I finally open my eyes. As soon as I take in my surroundings, an alarm triggers inside of me. I try to stand on my hospital bed, but I realize it's a bad idea, as my skull starts throbbing.
"Adalind" Rosalee hurries to my side and helps me lie back "You need to be careful" she scolds
"My baby" I enunciate each word with much difficulty given how heavy my tongue weighs in my mouth "What…happened?"
She sits on the bed beside me and her eyes turn sad "Your bleeding was due to stress and fatigue...the…the baby isn't moving, Adalind…There's a high risk of miscarriage"
My heart skips a beat as my lungs combust in my chest, a lump forms in my throat and I want to crawl under the sheets and cry out my agony. I don't want to lose my baby. I refuse for this to happen. Rosalee squeezes my hand hard, but I pull it away "It's my fault…It's all my fault…I shouldn't let Sean get to me…" I whisper between sobs
Tears well in Rosalee's eyes "Addy, it's not your fault, if there's anybody to blame, it's Sean for putting you under so much pressure and pain"
I shake my head frantically as I drown some more in the magma of sorrow that's been inviting me in for a long time. I feel trapped in a life I have no control over. I ignore Rosalee's pleading eyes, as I face the window on my right.
The faint sound of the door clicking doesn't faze me, I hear barely audible steps advancing toward my bed, then Rosalee's voice breaks the painful silence in the room "I'm going to get some coffee. Do you guys need anything?"
"Thanks, Rose, we're fine" Nick's voice resonates in the room. He's the last person I want to see right now. What is he doing here in the first place? I keep my gaze fixed to the window, as Kelly speaks "Rosalee says Sean is still harassing you. Why didn't you say anything?" her tone is worried rather than reprimanding.
My heart cracks, as I fight the tears pooling in my eyes, I've done enough crying as it is. I'll blame hormones for that "I was afraid to lose what little contact I had with my daughter" I admit. If I told the bureau, Sean would stop calling altogether and as much as I hate the sound of his voice, he's the only connection I have with my daughter.
Kelly shakes her head "When was the last time he spoke to you?"
"Tonight"
"What did he want?" she carries on with the interrogation
My eyes move finally from the window to land on Nick's undeterred expression. His arms are folded over his chest, while he's lying against the wall. Under the dim light of the room, I can't really identify any emotion on his face as he orders in a steady voice "You'd better answer, because I'm not moving from here"
Geez, this man is such a pain in the neck
"He wants to know the identity of the father" I stare at Kelly "In order to finish him"
Kelly's face is emotionless; it's almost as if she expected this revelation. Guess after working for so long on the BC case, she's become acquainted with their mindset and methods.
Kelly starts typing on her cell phone as she walks toward the door "I need to make few phone calls, I'll see you later"
Finding myself alone with Nick in this hospital room makes me very uncomfortable. I have no idea what to expect, so I go back to admiring the dark night through the window "Did seeing me tonight, stress you out?"
His question and the guilt that it carried take me aback, as I meet Nick's gaze again, I see remorse contorting his beautiful face as he heads slowly toward that very window I was admiring "I…It surprised me"
He nods, as if to convince himself that surprise is better than stress "So, you know Rosalee!"
I nod "And you're Monroe's best friend!"
"Yeah…sometimes, the World feels like a tiny district" he shrugs, tucking his hands in his pockets and shifting nervously on his legs "Do you think the baby's going to be ok?"
"I don't…Ow…Owch…Wow" the baby starts kicking me so hard that I think I might have peed in my panties…If I'm still wearing any under that ugly hospital gown. I hold my belly and feel my baby's fist…it's like he wanted to answer his father's question…I want to cry and laugh all at once. Nick rushes to my side, face livid "You ok? I'll call the doctor"
"Don't" I grab his hand to stop him from walking away "I'm more that ok" I smile happily at him "He's kicking…He's so strong…Oh my God, he definitely took the Burkhardt gene"
Nick remains immobile, eyes glued to my belly
"It's a boy" I smile proudly "Want to feel it?"
Nick seems completely out of place and unsure of what to say or do, so I place his hand delicately on my belly and wait for our baby to say Hi "Why isn't he moving anymore?"
"I don't know…Oh here" I move his hand to where the baby's kicking and Nick's face enlighten in fascination
"He's moving" I've never seen Nick so excited before. It is a good expression on his face. Right now, he's got that boyish vibe about him. Not the badass detective I'm used to. We remain like that for few minutes, until it's time for him to leave.
"Sorry to interrupt you, but she needs to rest" the nurse says apologetically
Nick gets to his feet immediately, as if waking up from a dream "Alright, Umm…Rosalee is picking you tomorrow at nine…Have a good night"
"You too"
As I lay my head on the pillow, a smile spreads across my face and I feel the lightest I've ever been in a while. Everything is going to be fine…at least as fine as it could be in Adalind's life
%%%
"Alright, so remember" Rosalee repeats for the umpteenth time since I was discharged from the hospital "You need to rest, avoid anything stressful, eat properly, have enough sleep and if Sean calls…"
"Call Kelly" I finish for her as I roll my eyes "Can I get out of the car now?"
Rosalee sighs "Fine, I'm calling you later; you'd better pick the phone"
Bud is waiting for me at the door, anxious and eager to see me. Since I got pregnant with Nick's baby, I went from a lonely workaholic to a person surrounded by friends and people who care for her. I'm afraid to get used to that, then be denied any kind of happiness afterwards…Just like it happened to me after I got Diana. She never deserts my mind and there's always a stinging pain in my chest when I think of her.
"Miss Schade, are you feeling better?" He follows me inside the house
"Call me Adalind and yes, I'm feeling great" I smile reassuringly at him
"Here" he blushes as he hands me a basket "My wife made lentils soup for you, she says it's good during the pregnancy…I told her you weren't eating much lately, except for her apple-pie, so there's apple-pie as well"
Bud carries on making me realize how much I missed this new routine, I put the basket on the kitchen counter and turn around to give him a tight hug, taking him completely by surprise. I place a kiss on his cheek "Thank you, Bud"
"Errr…Yeah, Sssure…" his face has just turned crimson red and it's really funny to see him losing his composure so easily.
In my room, I send an email to Harrison asking for a medical leave. He calls me immediately after that, checking on me and assuring me that I could take as much time as I need to, as long as I'm taking care of myself.
After a quick shower and changing in more comfortable clothes, I decide to call my mom and confide in her. She's my mother, even though she hasn't called once for the past few weeks, she deserves to know what happens in my life. She replies after the third ring, her voice cold and condescending.
"Adalind"
"Hi Mom…How are you?" I say softly, trying to ignore the pain inflicted by her coldness. I should be used to it by now. My mom is not exactly what one would consider a good parent.
"Good, if you could just hurry and tell me what you want because I need to catch a flight in few minutes only" I can imagine her tapping her heels on the floor impatiently
"You're leaving?" I can't help the surprise in my tone
"Yeah, I want to visit your aunt Ilda in Berlin, then I'll probably do a small tour of Europe. So, what is it that you want?"
See! This is exactly what I meant.
"Nothing important" I bite my quivering lip "Have a safe trip and send my love to Aunt Ilda"
"I will"
She hangs up, before I can say goodbye. I stare at the blank screen of my phone, then remind myself it's my first day of a stress-free life. It's going to be just like rehab. Difficult at the beginning, possible relapse, then it gets better in time.
Male voices chatting in the kitchen stir me from my thoughts, I walk warily over there and that's when I see Nick removing food from two big grocery bags and storing them in my kitchen with Bud's help.
"Mi casa es su casa" I bark sarcastically as I cross my arms over my chest and raise an eyebrow at Nick, trying desperately to ignore the muscles flexing under his short sleeves shirt "Shouldn't you wear a pull over or something, it's freezing outside"
"Your house is as heated as a sauna" he keeps working in my kitchen, not staring at me once
Bud nods in agreement "Told her"
I roll my eyes (bad habit, I know) as I sit on the stool across from them "What are you doing here?"
Bud stares at me incredulously "I was assigned to you, remember? Oh, you were speaking to Nick…Of course…"
"Making sure my son's healthy" he places Bananas and apples in a fruit basket, then at least five bottles of non fat milk in the fridge and is that green thing Broccoli?
"Errr…I hate broccoli"
"Broccoli is packed with nutrients that are necessary for a healthy pregnancy, such as calcium and folate, and it's rich in fiber and disease-fighting antioxidants. And since it contains plenty of vitamin C, it will help your body absorb iron when it's eaten with an iron-rich food, such as whole wheat pasta or brown rice"
"Thank you for the information Dr Oz, but hasn't anybody told you not to believe all the crap you read on the internet"
"Bud's wife gave me some tips as well" he winks "So, you can starve yourself all you want after the baby's born, I don't give a damn, but for now you'll eat, sleep and be happy for the sake of my son" does Nick Burkhardt ever smile?
"This is a stress-free zone, Mister" I glare at him "You leave all your negative vibes at the door the moment you step in"
He places a bowl of cereals and a cup of milk on the kitchen counter and stares at me expectantly.
"What's this?"
"We call this breakfast" he articulates like I'm a three year old
I narrow my eyes at him "It's ten thirty in the morning, shouldn't you go after some villains or send Lex Luthor to jail?"
He lies against the fridge and crosses his arms over his chest "It's my day off, now eat"
"I hate you" I mutter under my breath
"Likewise"
His phone rings, sparing me his scrutinizing eyes for few minutes, or not "I'm watching you" he mutters while he covers his phone
"Hey Trouble" Nick can smile. Not just a regular toothy smile, he's got one if those smiles that have women fanning themselves…not that I'll ever be one of those women…it's Nick for God's sake
"Oh, yeah? That's great…Easter? Cool, can't wait to see you again…Yeah, I miss you too" then he hangs up
"New girlfriend?" I have no idea why I'm asking
He takes the seat beside me and starts fidgeting with his phone "Sister"
"Why do you call her Trouble?"
"Have you always been this curious?" he raises an eyebrow at me
"Yeah, it's a health condition"
Nick shakes his head with a smile "Theresa is almost ten years younger than me and when she was a little girl, she was a real trouble maker…So, I gave her this nickname"
"So, is she following the Burkhardt's footsteps to join law enforcement?" I'm very curious about Nick's sister. I wonder what she's like
He smiles proudly, you can tell he really loves her "She's finishing her training in Quantico"
"Quantico! Wow, you're a family of super heroes"
"Yeah, we're that awesome" he winks. So Nick can be playful, this is a side of him I didn't know.
He checks his watch, then gets up quickly grabbing his jacket and keys in the process "I've got to go, make sure to finish your breakfast and there's Phoebe's soup for lunch, don't skip any meals, Bud will report to me"
"Understood, mommy"
"Good girl"
How exactly am I supposed to stay home doing nothing? I have no idea what's it like to be lazing around. My whole life was a set of objectives I had to work hard to reach and now I'm asked to just sit around and play house. I go to my book shelve in the living room and look for something that's unrelated to law, after few seconds scanning the titles on the stacks of books lined on the shelves, I finally find a science-fiction book I started a while ago, but never got time to finish. Well, here's my chance then.
During the weeks that follow, I develop a new routine. Nick drops by every morning to make sure I eat breakfast and my fridge is stuffed. Rosalee calls every day and try to visit at least every second day. Bud's wife sends me pies every week. Kelly checks in once a week and not a single call from my mom or Sean. Before I know it, it's already Easter and I'm almost eight months pregnant.
"Dinner will be served at 7" Rosalee reminds me for the millionth time "Don't be late"
"I won't" I hold the phone between my shoulder and my ear, as I try to find something that fits for tonight. I settle for a baby blue dress that's ample enough to hide my tremendous belly and decide to let my hair down, except for a tiny blue barrette to hold my bangs.
"Ok, see you tonight then" she says excitedly
The full SWAT team will be there tonight; Nick, his sister (whom I'm excited to meet), Kelly, me and our dear hosts Monroe and Rose. I put the burnt cake I made earlier in a bag and I will totally blame the result on the baby's kicks…He's still inside and he can't deny it…Sorry baby boy, the absent are always in the wrong.
I could swear he's just kicked me
"Hey" Rosalee hugs me tightly when I get there. Apparently, I'm the last to arrive because I can hear noise and laughter emanating from the living room. Monroe takes my jacket and directs me to join the rest of the guests. Nick is the first one that I notice, looking absolutely stunning in black slacks and a white button down that fits perfectly. Then Kelly is the second one into view, she's wearing a dark suit and silky cream shirt, she's completely oblivious to my presence as she speaks animatedly on the phone, then there's a gorgeous brunette, with short black hair and fair skin. Her eyes are big and overflow with intelligence. She's tall and slender, but she's hiding it behind a boyish outfit. In the way she looks at her older brother, you can tell she wants to be just like him, probably following his path.
"Hi everyone" I greet, then extend my hand to Nick's sister "I'm Adalind, you must Theresa"
"Nick's baby mama!" she exclaims nonchalantly as she shakes my hand "Call me Trouble"
I take a seat beside her "Cool name, so Nick tells me you're training in Quantico"
She nods and concentrates on her phone
"My friend Martin is an instructor there"
Her head snaps in my direction in a nanosecond, interest written all over her face "You know Meisner" I guess Meisner will be our icebreaker
I nod "Yeah, he's a good friend"
"Good friend, as in…?" she lets the end of her question hanging in the air, pretending to scan her shirt. Interesting!
"As in just a friend" I reassure her
"What are you talking about?" Nick joins us on the couch and messes his sister's hair, in a teasing way
She grabs his hand and shoves it behind his back "Meisner"
He easily breaks free with a huge smile "Who's that?"
"A God at the academy. This guy is amazing and your friend knows him" she gestures to me, regarding me with new eyes.
Kelly is still engrossed in her phone conversation, not paying attention to us
"You do?" Nick lifts his eyebrows in surprise
"Yep" I nod "I met him back when I worked at the DA's office"
Rosalee and Monroe appear in the living/dinning room all smiles and happy, as they direct us to the wonderfully decorated table, but before we sit, Kelly hangs up the phone and turns to us…or me, more precisely. I know it's bad news the second I see her worried expression.
"Looks like Sean is back"