A/N: This chapter was emotionally hard to write. Hope you'll like it and again THANK YOU for your feedback, it's what encourages me to always do my best to update quickly :)

Also, for the second part of the chapter which comes after the %%%, I was listening to Santa Monica Dream by Angus and Julia Stone as I wrote it. It's a nice background music, you could listen to it while you read if you want to

Enjoy

Chapter 08 : A life for a life

They say that a hero is this person who, in the face of danger, fights adversity showing bravery and strength, often sacrificing their personal concerns for a greater good. They are the perfect symbol of abnegation and altruism. Heroes are very few and often die at an early age, leaving behind the immortal ghost of their accomplishments.

As long as I'll live, Kelly Burkhardt will always be my hero

"Theresa, you're going back to Quantico first thing in the morning" Kelly orders her daughter "I'm sending a car for you"

"Mom" Trouble tries to argue but Kelly, is not taking no for an answer. She places her hands on her daughter's shoulders as she plunges her fierce dark eyes in Trouble's sad ones "I'm not taking any chance with you, Baby…We're BC's target now"

Noticing my shaking legs, Rosalee runs to my side and helps me sit on a chair, while a thunderstorm breaks slowly inside of me. Because of me, this whole family is in danger. I'm a ticking bomb ready to blow and erase everything on her passage at any moment and Sean is the one holding the detonator.

"Nick, for now, I need you to stay away from your house. This is the first place where they'll go looking for you. The bureau is going to need your help, though…We've got a plan and we need to act fast"

Kelly takes slow strides in my direction, then sits beside me "Hey, she tucks a strand of hair behind my ear" I lift my wet eyes to look at her kind smile "I won't let anybody hurt my family and you're family now, Ok?"

I nod slowly, no sound willing to escape my throat

During the weeks that follow, the security around my house is doubled and I'm not allowed to leave the house, except to go to my obstetric check up that Nick never misses. Today is one of those prison-free days, Nick is driving me to doctor Jones' office for my monthly appointment.

The weather is amazing, the sun is shining above us, while the trees that line up the road bow before us displaying beautiful green leafs. If Sean is back to Portland, he hasn't tried to reach me once and I can't call him either, because he's always used a secured line to get in touch. I haven't spoken to my daughter since Christmas and each day her absence drills a deeper hole in my broken heart.

Nick brings the car to a stop and we both walk in silence toward the office. As soon as she sees us, the receptionist directs us inside with her usual smile "Dr Jones is waiting for you"

"You can stay here" I gesture to the waiting room "I mean, she'll probably check me up…you know" I feel a blush staining my cheeks

He raises an eyebrow with a perplexed expression "Are you being shy?"

"No" I defend myself quickly too embarrassed to admit that yes, I don't want him to see what's going on in South Adalind.

"Good, because I've seen it all before and I have a good memory" he winks and it takes everything in me not to punch his smug smile off his face.

"Miss Schade, Mr Burkhardt" Dr Jones greets us "Come-on in"

I put my hand on Nick's rock hard chest to keep him from following me "He's staying in the waiting room"

Nick glares at me unhappily and I stick out my tongue as I follow Dr Jones. We go though our usual examination then when it's over, I sit across from her at her desk.

"I'm glad to see you in a good shape" she starts, her hands folded on the desk "Obviously, you're taking better care of yourself and the baby, however…" she stares at my folder then back at me "Your cervix is open, it means that you might have the baby at any moment"

My heart starts hammering against my chest, I have three weeks to go. The baby needs to wait

"There's nothing to worry about, Adalind. The baby's fine and there are plenty of women who give birth after eight months only, but of course, it would be much better if the little guy here could stay in his momma's womb longer…So, here are my instruction…"

I listen carefully to her while she writes down everything I must or must not do. When I finally join Nick in the waiting room, he's eager to hear what the doctor said. I hide the part regarding the open cervix as I don't want to add on to his worries. He's got enough on his mind and I will do my possible to hold the baby longer.

Later that night, Kelly pays me a surprise visit. The instant I see her dark curls and chocolate brown eyes a sentiment of relief washes over me. I haven't seen her since Easter and I've been worried about her this whole time.

"Kelly" I give her a quick hug when she enters the house "Bud made pasta for dinner, would you like some?" I ask eagerly. Bud is a great cook, he promised to give me classes.

Kelly sits on the couch and pats the spot beside her "I need to talk to you, it won't take long"

Reluctantly, I sit down, not sure I want to hear what she has to say. As I inspect her face closely, I see utter sadness and sorrow. I swallow hard as fear crawls in my skin, making it itchy. Unconsciously, I start scratching my arm until it hurts, Kelly grabs my hand and keeps it in hers "You'll have to get rid of that bad habit, Adalind. You'll end up hurting yourself"

"Is everything ok?" I ask slowly, scared to hear the answer

She nods "Everything is fine, I came here to see you and to tell you that the bureau is ready to act. We've been luring BC for few weeks now. Nick accepted to be our bait, so he enters and leaves his house as usual, while we keep men monitoring the perimeter. According to our informant, Sean will probably act tomorrow night and we'll be there to catch him" she squeezes my hand "It's almost over, Adalind"

If so, why doesn't it feel good? Deep down, I know it will never be over. All that is going to happen, is add more casualties. BC is a deadly virus that spreads faster than cholera.

Kelly removes a white envelope from her bag and hands it to me "I want you to keep this for me…don't open it before it's time"

"You'll be ok, right?" tears are pooling in my eyes, as I search for answers on her face. She grabs my face with both hands and places her forehead against mine "Goodbye, Adalind" she says in a choked voice

"Wait" I say as she starts to walk away "When should I open it?"

She smiles tenderly at me "You'll figure it out"

My eyes follow her to the door and even when she's left, I'm still watching that path she has just walked through, wondering if I'll ever get to see her again. Slowly, I stand from the couch and put the envelope in my nightstand drawer.

Needles to say, I didn't do much sleeping that night

Next day, Monroe and Rosalee decide to stay with me and Bud, waiting anxiously for the outcome of the night. None of us feels like talking or eating. Fear has knotted our tongues and clogged our throats. I don't see much of Nick either and it only worries me more. The clock ticks much slower than it usually does, every minute feels like an hour.

"Should I call them?" I ask for the umpteenth time

Bud shakes his head and gives me the answer he's been giving me for the past forty minutes "Never call an agent on a mission" before he finishes his sentence, his phone rings "Hank? What!...Shit"

"What is it, Bud?" we all assault the police agent while he's still on the phone

"Alright! Yeah, sure" once he finally hangs up he turns to us "It was Hank, Nick's partner"

"Is Nick ok?" I feel my heart about to explode

Bud nods "Yeah, but…it was a trap, the informant was working for BC. Kelly Burkhardt was shot. They took her St John's hospital"

"Let's go" Monroe jumps to his feet

Everybody is in motion while I stay rooted in place, unable to absorb this information. No, not Kelly. It's like I'm in a daze, images of her from the moment we met assault my brain, parading one after the other. Every time she was the mother I wish I had. Every time she took me in her arms and said it was ok to cry, each time she smiled at me and told me I was stronger that I gave myself credit.

Sometimes emotional pain turns into physical one. I feel weird and uncomfortable all of a sudden, but I don't have time to analyze this as Bud ushers me to his car while Monroe and Rosalee start theirs. The way to the hospital is the longest drive I've had. The pain getting stronger, but I decide to keep it in the back of my head.

Once we get to St John's, walking is almost impossible. I try to move as best I can, but it's of no use, my legs refuse to obey. Bud, Rosalee and Monroe run inside, too stressed out to notice my condition.

"Madame, are you ok?" A nurse rushes to me

"Yeah, It's just…Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" a striking pain travels down my body. The nurse gets a wheelchair and helps me get seated.

"We have a woman in labor" she shouts as she pushes me in the hallway

My heart hammers against my chest, it's too soon "Wait…wait, please…I…I need to see the father of the baby…He's here…his mother was admitted here"

"Madame, your water just broke, we have no time"

"Please, I'm begging you"

"Adalind" Bud's familiar voice echoes in the hallway "Adalind, I was looking for you. Oh my God, you've having the baby…I'm calling Nick"

I grab his hand before he dials Nick's number "How's Kelly?"

He shakes his head "The surgeon told Nick the internal bleeding was impossible to stop and the bullet attacked her vital organs. She's not surviving the night"

My heart is shattered in a million pieces as I collapse in the wheelchair, my tears turn into sobs, followed by the unsupportable pain in my body. Doctors rush to me and place me on a bed, they immediately cover me in wires. I hear a doctor mention an emergency C-section, before I faint.

When I wake up, Rosalee is sitting in the plush chair in front of my bed. At first I'm disoriented, then my memory catches up with me.

I panic "How's the baby?"

She hurries to me "He's fine. A little small, but very healthy and handsome"

I lay my head back on the pillow, relief replaced by deep sadness and sorrow "And Nick?"

"He was here a minute ago to check on you…He's…devastated"

"Kelly is…" I'm afraid to finish my sentence

Rosalee shakes her head "No, she's still conscious, but not for too long"

"Take me to her" I start to move from the bed, but Rosalee stops me "What! Are you crazy?"

"Rosalee, I'm going to see her and if I have to crawl to her room, then so be it"

Understanding the seriousness of my threat, Rosalee convinces a nurse to let me see Kelly, my friend helps me sit on a wheelchair and the nurse brings me my son like I demanded. He's a handsome little boy. The moment I bring him to my chest, an explosion of emotions blows inside my heart. Somehow, he brought beauty to a chaotic night.

As I enter Kelly's hospital room, I see her lying on that bed, wires on every part of her body, machines indicating her heart is still beating. A pump inflating and deflating to indicate she's still breathing. A tremendous tube goes from her mouth to I don't know where. She looks so vulnerable, so weak…Like I've never seen her before. My whole body shakes at her sight. Then I see Nick, sitting beside her, bringing her hand to his mouth, red puffy eyes following each movement she makes.

Rosalee pushes me some more, until I'm in front of Nick, on the other side of the bed. Kelly's eyes stare at me with a mix of sadness and relief "Hey" I choke on my words as tears streak down my face "Want to meet your grandson?" I lift the baby a little so that she can see him. A small smile spreads on her lips "I thought of a name for him" I try to wipe my nose and my eyes but it's stupid, because more floods are coming. Nick's grieving eyes land on me, probably wondering why I'm giving our baby a name without asking for his opinion.

I force a smile on my face as Kelly stares adoringly at the baby "Granny, this is Kelly Schade Burkhardt" a life for a life, I think sadly to myself as the baby wiggles in my arms. One has just arrived to this world, while the other is ready to leave. This is the first and last time they will see each other. I'm proud to call my son after a woman whose greatness was beyond what our world could handle.

Tears slip from her eyes as she admires the baby for one more second, before closing her eyes and smiling one last time. One more tear falls from her eye then she's gone.

Nick collapses on his mother's hospital bed and cries his loss

%%%

There are some funerals that stay burnt in your memory forever, with the pain and sorrow they represent, those funerals are beautiful in a certain way. Kelly's was one of those. A long line of black cars parading in the commentary, before stopping in synchrony allowing people to get out one by one. Six agents in uniform carried the coffin covered with the American flag and walked gracefully toward the graveyard.

After they deposited the coffin in the chosen spot for Kelly's grave, all officers saluted in unison, followed by fire pipes and drum corps. Each one of us deposited a flower on her coffin and said goodbye.

Our black outfits were a perfect contrast with the beautiful sun shining above us, no matter how somber a day it was. Nick held his sister tightly in his arms as she collapsed in front of her mom's coffin, crying over and over "Why? Why? Why?"

The red petals of the rose I placed on Kelly's coffin were the exact same color as the drops leaking from my bleeding heart.

I watch people presenting their condolences to Nick and Theresa, telling them what an amazing woman their mother was. How well did they really know her? Did know she spent the past years trying to stop an organization that was coming after all of them? Did they know that she called me every day after my daughter was taken from me to make sure I was alright? Did they know that she paid me at least one visit a month to see with her eyes that I was fine? Did they know that she always sent me a card for my birthday since we met?

Today, I'm burying the mother I wish I had

I hold tightly baby Kelly against my chest as I signal for Bud, he nods and leads the way to the car. I'm spending one last night at my apartment before moving in with Nick. Now that the baby's here, we want to be both present for him, until we figure out what to do. Besides, Nick says he'd rather have us under his sight.

In my bedroom, I sit on the edge of my bed as I remove the immaculate envelope from my nightstand drawer. As I flip it, I read my name on it.

Adalind Schade

My dear Adalind,

If you are reading this letter, then I'm no more

I wish I could live enough to see my grandchild and tell him that I loved him the very day you told me about him.

Nick is a good man and I trust him to be a good father. Losing me is going to be very hard on him, but the baby and you will find a way to bring back light into his life. I'm sorry to put such a burden on your shoulders, but please watch after my son.

Theresa might appear to be strong on the outside, but she's a very sensitive woman who thinks that she must not show any signs of weakness. She might come out as abrasive sometimes, but I know she's always wished to have a big sister. Would you be there for her too, please?

Finally, I would like to thank you Adalind, for showing me that sacrificing your life for your beloved ones is a beautiful way to go.

I'm happy you entered my life and my son's

Love,

Kelly

Folding the letter, I lay my head on the pillow and cry until I have no more energy and sleep takes over, allowing me few hours of unconsciousness. It's the sound of my ringtone that awakens me few hours later.

"Adalind? It's Martin Meisner"