Courage is not the Absence of Fear
Chapter 9: A Night time Wandering
There is a saying, Lily recalled, that nothing is infinite, not even loss. Often, she felt it was an oversimplification, but in the weeks following her parents' funeral, these words kept coming back to her.
It had felt like her world had come crashing down on her, the world continued to turn on its' axis. Though the minutes stood still as she tossed and turned at night, the weeks flew past, hurtling them towards their final NEWT exams
Channelling her grief into work was as good an idea as any. When painful memories threatened to overwhelm her, she focused on repeating arithmancy equations, or her non-verbal charms, till the panic passed.
That March was particularly warm, and one stifling, still night, Lily grew tired of lying in her four poster bed, willing sleep to come. She rose, took her wand, wrapped her dressing gown around her and tiptoed out of her dormitory, as to not disturb the other girls.
Down in the Gryffindor common room, she could barely see in front of her by the light of the dying embers in the fire grate and the shaft of moonlight that fell from a nearby window. Lily hadn't given much thought to what she was going to do once she had gotten out of bed. She had a sudden urge to creep up to James' dorm, and curl up next to him, to feel his arms around her, his breath against her neck, but there was no way she could without waking up every other man in that dorm. The thought of James, brought with it another one. James knew an awful lot about secret passages around the school. They had ducked into countless hidden alcoves, and behind dozens of faded tapestries to share kisses. Lily had always been a bit preoccupied to notice her surroundings much then. (James' lips had a tendency to make her brain stand still, sometimes; a fact which caused her both great giddiness and annoyance.)
In the dark of the night, Lily had the freedom to explore these mysterious corridors. The portrait hole called to her. If she was caught, she would be in serious trouble, but far from dissuading her, it thrilled her. Wrapping the belt of her dressing gown more firmly, she resolutely strode to the portrait hole and stepped out.
The castle was quieter than Lily had ever noticed before. Even during their prefect duties, teachers were still awake, and since she had not been breaking as rules then, she had been so keenly aware of her surroundings. Turning to her right, she walked down the corridor, keeping to the shadows. Lily smiled as she caught her reflection on a painting of a snoozing wizard. She felt adventurous and utterly mischievous. She had clearly been spending far too much time with the marauders recently. There happened to a hidden passage not far from the portrait hole, and Lily made her way towards it.
Pushing aside the tapestry of Ulrich the Odd Ball, Lily whispered "Lumos," and stepped into the corridor. It looked disused, with cobwebs hanging from empty torch brackets. Her slippers stuck to the dusty, filthy flagstones. There wasn't much to see on the walls, but Lily figured that it must lead somewhere and kept on her way.
Some while further, the passage split into two. The floor sloped up on the right and one the left, the floor fell away steeply into darkness. She turned to the right and ascended. Out of the darkness loomed a low wooden doorway. Lily approached it cautiously and felt around for a handle and hit upon a brass knocker. It felt too rusted to turn, and Lily did not wish to give herself tetanus for the sake of adventure.
Then suddenly, Lily realised she could hear voices risen in agitation. The source of the voices seemed to be, oddly, coming from somewhere near her feet. Crouching down, she wiped the cobwebs away from the wall to reveal a grate. She pressed her eye against it, and saw a brightly lit room. It was a well-furnished room, with a lot of table legs. With a jolt, Lily recognised Professor Dumbledores' voice over several other voices.
"It will not help us, my dear comrades, to fight amongst ourselves, especially not in time when we have such foes to conquer," his voice rang out. The other voices subsided. "Now, Minerva, we have not received any new information to cause Hogwarts any harm. It is my belief that as long as I remain here, the Death Eaters will not think of breaching our boundaries."
"Albus, there is no way to know what the Death Eaters are thinking!" came the voice of Minerva Mcgonagall, "Even, if we are safe while you are here, as you say, what are we supposed to do when you are not? Caradoc, Fabian and Gideon help patrol our corridors too, but there is no way to keep watch over nearly 800 children!"
Some seemed to be moving around the round, and they came to a stop in front of Lilys grate, then everything went quiet, as though a silencing charm had been placed over it. Lily stood up abruptly. How could they have sensed that she was there? With her heart hammering in her chest, she hurried back to the Gryffindor common room.
They mentioned the Death Eaters, patrolling Hogwarts, and Fabian and Gideon; undoubtedly the Prewett brothers who had graduated a couple of years ago. Lily couldn't make head or tail of the situation. She seemed to have a stumbled into a situation far greater and more dangerous than she had ever anticipated.
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