AARON & JACKSON

-1912: The Aftermath-

"That's Where You Belong"

In the past I've had a negative response to me adding a spiritual side to my stories, but it's been a while and I definitely wanted to include it for this chapter.

Aaron was ready, his preparations had been made, his feet were bound by a rope and the large brick was in between his legs also tied with the rope. It was tied well; he couldn't afford for this to fail. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the knife he'd taken from Mark's house and held it tightly in his hand, the knife now had traces of blood on it. It was dark now and the reflection of the moonlight on the water captivated Aaron as he just stared at it.

"Why are you doing this to yourself Aaron?" a voice in the darkness caused him to jump and there next to Aaron sat a man, a man that he would never forget. He gasped as he stared at him.

"D-D-Doing what?" Aaron wasn't himself, he wasn't aware.

"Hurting yourself, sat here like this ready to drown"

"It's got to be done"

"Why?"

"Because I've done bad things"

The man scoffed. "One bad thing Aaron, one that's affected you severely even to this day"

Aaron frowned. "W-w-why are you even here? You're dead"

Carl King smiled. "Yes, yes I am dead…but see I'm not really here. It's your mind Aaron, you're a mess and you're thinking about me and projecting me because I signify the point where everything changed"

"So" he scrunched his face. "I'm talking to myself?"

"Essentially, yeah…you're talking to yourself"

"Oh get a grip I'm not that far gone!"

Carl reached over and grabbed the rope and shoved it in Aaron's face. "Really?"

Aaron sighed and shoved the rope away from his face. "Why do you even care anyway? I killed you in cold blood, you should be happy"

"You think this makes me happy Aaron? Do you have any idea what this will do to your mum? To Jackson?"

"Why do you care? You pushed me and I acted" he scoffed. "And my mum hates me for it, because she loved you…she might try and pretend but I know she won't forget the night her own son murdered her lover…and as for Jackson he knows what I've done, I can sense it and do you know what…why does it matter? Why does any of this matter?"

"It all matters, all of it…you're having a breakdown and that's alright they can help you, if you let them…y-you just have to put that knife to a better use and cut that rope, you have your entire life ahead of you, I don't want your guilt for killing me to be the root cause, aswell as everything else that's going on with you"

There was silence for a few minutes before Carl spoke. "You always hated me, we were proper enemies" he chuckled. "And when I found out you were gay well I had ammunition didn't I? Wouldn't have expected to have been killed by anyone else really…I pushed and pushed you"

Aaron grimaced, he didn't like reliving it.

"But I forgive you"

"NO!" Aaron hissed as he got into his face. "Don't you dare say that!"

"But it is true Aaron, you have to let go of it…you aren't a monster, you just think you are and that's wrong"

"Why did I betray Jackson then when he does everything he can for me? Yeah I was angry at you for your hateful remarks and you're digs but it didn't mean you had to be killed, yet…I still did it…"

"People just do things Aaron" Carl shrugged. "People snap, they lose control and they have no idea what they're doing, when you picked up that brick you were blinded by anger"

Aaron dropped his head in his hands and sobbed. "I wish I hadn't"

"I know and you thought by getting away you'd be free of it but you're not…this affair business god knows why you did it…attention from someone else, someone who you have no real feelings for, to which then means you don't have be worried or frightened of them finding out what you've done"

"No real feelings?" Aaron asked.

Carl nodded.

Aaron pouted. "Mark said he was falling for me today…I just smiled…" he frowned as he thought about it all, what if his mind, or the ghost of Carl was right?

"Aaron, what did you do after you killed me? When you realised what you'd done?"

"I-I went home…"

"And your mum?"

"She knew something was wrong straight away, I-I was scared I was out of my mind and I knew…I knew how much it would have hurt her but I had to tell her and I did, I asked her for help" Aaron explained as he stared down into the lake. "I took her to the garage and she saw you lying there…it all changed"

"But she's here Aaron here in America because Jackson asked her too, no she hasn't forgotten but she'll have forgiven…so please, please just ask her for help, ask her again" he pleaded with him.

Aaron shook his head. "If I do that Jackson will have to know and I'm sorry but there's no way any amount of love for someone can withstand finding out your partners a murderer, I know it doesn't"

Carl sighed. "Fine. Jump"

Aaron frowned. "What?"

"Go on, do it…you aren't listening to a word I say"

"You aren't real!" Aaron shouted which worried the approaching person.

"No, but it's your mind, kinda like good versus evil…you have to listen to your positive thoughts Aaron…"

"Positive thoughts?" he laughed. "Yeah really?"

"I said I forgive you"

Aaron turned to face Carl but he had vanished.

"Who are you talking to Aaron?" Adam's familiar voice startled him and he turned to face him.

"If you come any closer I swear to god Adam I'll jump in" he warned him quickly to which Adam stopped dead in his tracks.

"Woah, mate slow down…I'm not going to hurt you…y-you don't look so good…w-what have you done? Let me see" Adam said as he stepped forward.

"DON'T!" Aaron raised his voice as he held the knife in view.

Adam stopped again and swallowed hard at the sight of the knife and the fact that he'd obviously used it and would be bleeding. "It's alright Aaron"

"I hurt you" Aaron said as his body shuddered as more tears broke free.

Adam shook his head. "I'm fine…I'm still your mate, I'm here"

"W-why are people nice to me!" he asked in a rage, waving the knife around in his anger.

"Because you're a good person Aaron"

"You don't know what I've done! What I'm capable of! What I could have done to you earlier!"

Adam shrugged. "But you didn't"

"Because I was stopped"

"I believe you would have stopped if your mum wasn't there, we're the best of friends Aaron and at some point y-you would have stopped hitting me and deep down I know that, you're not a bad person, something has obviously happened in the past to have triggered something…and now…I'm figuring out what that is"

"And what? What is it?" Aaron asked him.

Adam sighed. "You killed someone didn't you?"

"Bingo"

"A-Alright…and your behaviour is caused by the guilt of that…w-what I don't get is why the affair? Does it link?"

Aaron sighed. "Someone told me that because I have no real feelings for Mark, I'm less worried about him finding out what I did, as opposed to Jackson finding out….with him I'm scared as hell"

Adam frowned. "Who told you this?"

Aaron got to his feet and stood staring blankly, his view just above Adam's head. "Carl did"

"Who's Carl?" Adam was confused, he'd never heard Aaron mention a Carl.

"The man I killed" Aaron replied quietly.

It was in that moment that Adam realised the full extent of Aaron's trauma. "O-Ok…" he was in way over his head here, Jackson and Chas knew where he was heading to look, he hoped to god one of them arrived soon, he had no idea what to do. "And killing yourself is the answer…"

Aaron shrugged. "I-I hurt people Adam, I could have killed you, I have killed and I've betrayed Jackson, he knows, I know he does…I-I can't see the hurt I've caused him…"

"J-Jackson's alright…h-he is…you know, he's strong…he's just worried about you, we all are mate, please, please come away from the edge, do you want to know what Jackson said to me and you're mum before we split up to come look for you?"

Aaron didn't reply.

"I said you're the best thing that has ever happened to me"

Adam turned around startled but relieved that Jackson was standing a few metres behind him. Jackson walked over to Adam and placed his hand on his shoulder, in a way relieving him then stepped forward.

"What the hell is this?" Aaron cried out. "I-I don't want you to see me!"

"And I said" Jackson spoke louder over Aaron. "...that despite the affair…I still love you…and whatever else there is for me to find out then we deal with it together"

Aaron shook his head crying constantly now, the embarrassment and pain of knowing Jackson was seeing him such a state with his feet tied by a rope, and that rope tied by a brick killed him, he wasn't meant to see.

"Yes we will Aaron! You are the first and last man I will ever love and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you go through all of this alone, I can't and won't let you, and I certainly won't stand by and let you fall into that water, because by god if you do I'll be right in after you and I will with all my strength drag you back out, brick attached or not"

Adam now stood watching from a small distance, he could hear every word though and still see everything, he struggled with his emotions and he sobbed his heart out at the scene playing out before him.

"But I hurt you" Aaron cried.

"Yeah…but what makes it better is that I have a good inclination that you weren't acting on purpose" Jackson sighed. "You're not well babe, you haven't been for a long time…this dark secret…Titanic…the mine…I-I should have seen it…but you covered it…maybe you didn't, or maybe you didn't know what was happening…but the important thing is that we get you help"

"You're going to lock me away, padded room… everything…"

Jackson quickly shook his head. "No, no babe I'm not going to do that" he told him but he knew he may have too. The lie was necessary to rouse him from the edge and to safety.

"I killed a man Jackson, back home…I killed him…I used a brick" he sniggered as he looked down at the one tied to him. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and sniffed. "Seems fitting doesn't it…I-I couldn't have possibly whacked it over my own head, this is the next best thing I could think of to end it"

Jackson shook his head dreading the thought of Aaron falling in. "Aaron, I love you, we can deal with this together, we can fix this, we can fix everything, but I, I can fix you Aaron…I trust you and I know you would never hurt me…a-and Adam's here…he's fine…he's not going anywhere"

Aaron dropped his head as he continued to sob.

"Your mum is scared to death Aaron, she loves you"

"She pretends too"

"Why would she?"

"Because the man I killed was her lover"

"Well why is she here then?"

Aaron shrugged.

"Because she forgives you, you wouldn't have killed him without good reason and a reason we'll discuss another time. Right now I'm more concerned about getting you away from that water and back in my arms…that's where you belong Aaron…"

Aaron shook his head. "I'm sorry" he said quietly before he kicked the brick into the water and allowed himself to fall back.

"NO!" Jackson screamed and he ran for him. Adam jumped into action to but it was too late. Adam and Jackson just looked at each other in a grief stricken panic, completely stunned for a second then at the same time, both of them jumped into the water together.

TBC…