A/N: Again, I can never thank you enough for the super encouraging feedback :) Sorry this update wasn't as fast as the previous ones

Enjoy ;)

Chapter 12 : Fome sweet home

Nick's idea of a new house is slightly different from mine

"We're here" he announces as he brings the car to a stop in front of what used to be a painting factory. Yes, you heard me right; A painting factory. How do I know? Well, it's written in big bold red letters on the two story building. I said I wanted to live in a Candy house not a painting factory, Nick. You should pay more attention to what I say.

Nick opens the big gate leading to the house garage. I climb out of the car as soon as it stops and follow Nick to the elevator. Once we reach the space we're supposed to share from now on, I realize it's not that bad, only a bit bare and lacking life. I like to believe that the places that have a soul are the ones that we wound up calling home. This loft however has more than a soul; it has character. I'm not sure I like it, but I must admit it has a lot of potential.

The first thing that comes in sight is the open space connecting the kitchen to what I suppose should be a living room, but for now it has just a table and chairs. Two steps lead to the big bedroom with large windows and sliding doors. A queen size bed is right in the middle, night stands on each side, a baby crib and a small closet on the far end.

There's only one bathroom and Nick will be sleeping on the bed lying against a wall by the entrance of the loft. Apparently, for safety measures, Nick has put all his furniture in a storage because he didn't want the movers to know where we live now. His reasoning makes sense. BC has connections everywhere and is expanding more and more. Sean won't back down until he achieves his goal and as long as he's running free, none of us is safe.

I realize Nick has taken all the necessary precautions as he continues "The car you saw when we got in is yours. It's under Rosalee's name, just in case. We figured Sean has probably your car tracked, so this is the only option you have for now" I nod not really surprised as Nick had explained few days ago that I needed to dispose of my car for my safety.

"Alright" Nick shifts nervously on his legs "I've got to go to the precint. There's a credit card on the kitchen counter, feel free to use it to buy anything you need. You have my phone number, if anything happens call me"

"Okay, thanks"

Nick grabs his car keys and heads to the elevator, not without casting a last glance my way "I don't know when I'll be back" just like this, he disappears

It's only when he's out of sight that it hits me. We'll be living under the same roof for God knows how long. This place is very open which makes it very unlikely to have any kind of privacy, unless I lock myself in the bedroom.

"Well, looks like this is our new home" I tell my baby

It doesn't take me too long to settle in, I didn't have many possessions to start with. When I moved out of my house, I left a lot behind me. I guess it was my way of letting go of a way too painful past. Is it what Nick wanted too, when he sold his house and refused to keep his furniture? Although he claims it was a safety precaution (and I do believe this was his main intention) I strongly believe that deep down he couldn't stand to live in a place that held so many hurtful memories.

After a couple hours of lazing around, doing absolutely nothing, I finally decide to move my lazy pants and go buy groceries. As I grab the keys to my new silver grey second hand Toyota Auris, I glance at the credit card Nick gave me. Although I am not working at the moment, my bank account is not empty, thanks to the enticing salary I was paid in my former law firm, I have savings, but that's what they are, just savings and one day or another I won't have a single penny left, however, I can't picture myself depending on Nick even on basic everyday expenses. He's already done so much more than I expected. Shaking my head, I decide to leave the credit card where it is. I was raised to count only on myself. Relying on others is a weakness I can't afford. As soon as Kelly is old enough, I'll go back to work. Besides, Nick and I are not sharing a house forever. This is just temporary, until my baby and I are not endangered anymore.

%%%

"Hey, Rose" I answer my ringing phone just as I finish placing the bags in the car trunk. Kelly is wiggling in the car seat, already missing his freedom. I circle around the car and jump behind the wheel.

"Hi" I can imagine her kind smile as her soft voice echoes through the phone "I was wondering if you and Kelly would want to stop by?" the hopeful note in her question is unmistakable. Ever since Kelly was born, Rosalee is always finding excuses to spend time with the baby and cuddle him. Her pain and frustration from not having a baby of her own are so palpable and heartbreaking.

"Yes, sure. We're on our way to the spice shop"

She breathes a sigh of relief that makes me happy that such a small thing could be the highlight of her day "Alright then, see you later"

"We're visiting Aunt Rosalee, Kelly" I grin at my baby as I start the car. Fifteen minutes later, we park near the spice shop and head inside. As soon as she sees us, Rosalee places the closed sign on the door and takes immediately Kelly in her arms.

"Hello little sunshine" she greets him with big kisses on his chubby cheeks "Aunt Rose has missed you, you know that, right baby boy" Kelly starts fussing happily, probably sensing all the love emanating from this wonderful woman who's holding him.

In the back shop, I sit on a chair beside Rose while answering her questions about the new place we moved in, curiosity reflected in her almond eyes. She laughs very hard when I tell her I baptized it the Fome.

"I swear Rose, it's a cross between a fortress and a home" a shudder runs down my body as I remember the loft "After spending two hours there only, my skin started itching. I wouldn't be too surprised to find the boogeyman under my bed. A great way for Nick to get rid of his pain in the ass/baby mama"

Rosalee shakes her head disapprovingly "He would never"

I sigh, remembering the ache haunting his eyes and the visible sorrow on his face. Since I entered his life, he's lost his mother, had to sell his dream house and is stuck with me because we have a baby together, albeit that last part is what keeps both of us from losing our sanity "I wouldn't blame him"

"Did he make you feel that way?" Rose brings my focus to the present

"No" I jump in quickly "He…He's been nothing but great to us and he's a good father to Kelly, actually the only time I see any emotion cross his face is when he's with his son…The rest of the time, it's like he doesn't have any emotions, any feelings…his…his face is blank, devoid of any expression that would give away what he feels or thinks" I let my arms fall to my sides, helplessness seeping from my mouth "I know the annoyed Nick Burkhardt, angry Nick Burkhardt, pissed Nick Burkhardt…But I have no idea how to deal with this man who seems to have given up on…happiness altogether"

Truth is, I know exactly what he's going through and it scares me like hell. I've been there before, right when Sean disappeared with Diana, I was helpless and distressed. I was on the verge of mental breakdown if it wasn't my determination to find my daughter that saved me. I guess Nick and I are alike in more ways than we thought. I can only hope baby Kelly will help mend his broken heart the way he did mine.

Maybe with time, he'll learn to live with the pain, because it's impossible to overcome it completely.

Rosalee reaches for my hand and gives it a gentle tug "It's going to be fine"

I nod although I feel like a ticking bomb, ready to explode whenever Sean decides to push the detonator. He won't be afraid to use our daughter as bait and Nick's life is in danger as long as I'm with him.

As if reading my thoughts, Rosalee continues "None of this is your fault. Sean would go after Nick, even if you returned to him. He was a target the moment you conceived this baby"

I check my watch and stand up hurriedly "We've got to go. It's getting late and Nick should be back soon. I don't want him to worry in case we're not home"

Rosalee gets to her feet too and hands me a folded note that was in her pocket "The rice recipe you asked me for" she grins

"Thank you" I grab it, while holding Kelly in my arms "Let's hope nobody dies of food poisoning"

"Stop exaggerating, you'll do just fine" Rose reassures me as she ushers me toward the door

"If I don't call you by noon tomorrow, call 911" I say behind my back

Rosalee shakes her head with a huge grin "Byeeee"

About an hour later, I'm standing in the kitchen with Kelly on the counter sticking his legs and arms out of his seat and babbling in this baby language that I have yet to learn. I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, glad I traded my long blond curls with a shoulder length straight bob haircut. It requires less maintenance which is exactly what a mom aims for. Not than anybody noticed the change, except for Rosalee.

"Now tell me" I scowl breathlessly "How exactly is the recipe easy?" I stir the rice some more, trying to avoid the boiling water spilling on the sides "Aunt Rose betrayed us, honey" I point to the cooking pot accusingly "This was a trap"

Just as I finish my sentence, the door of the elevator opens and Nick strolls in, looking exhausted but fine to my utter relief. He removes his jacket, which leaves him in a dark blue Henley that hugs every muscle of his upper body. Darn, this man is built. He doesn't have those outrageously big muscles, his are the ones that come with a nice toned body. Despite his expressionless face, those exceptionally green eyes are sparkling.

"Hey" he walks toward the kitchen, reminding me that I was caught staring. He brushes past me to collect Kelly in his arms. He rewards Kelly's eagerness to see his daddy with a genuine smile that only his son is allowed to see "Hey buddy, you had a good day?"

"Dinner should be ready in a couple of minutes" I state, trying to ignore my nervousness. It's common knowledge that I am a terrible cook and I dread the result of my poor attempt at fixing something edible.

"Can I help?" Nick asks without taking his eyes away from his son

"Set the table"

He places baby Kelly in his crib then comes back to the kitchen to gather plates, covers and everything we need on our dinner table. I serve both of us and wait expectantly to see Nick's reaction when he eats, as I sit across from him on the table. After few spoons, still no reaction, my heart starts jumping nervously as my stomach clenches. He hates it. He definitely hates it. I have just made a fool of myself. What if he dies of food poisoning? OMG, I'll be thrown in jail and Kelly will be sent to foster care.

"No, not foster care" I squeal but I realize too late that I said it out loud. I really need to control my crazy imagination, before turning nuts. Nick lifts his eyes questioningly and I feel a flush rising to my face

"Let me guess" he sets his spoon on the table "Tourette's!"

I nod energetically and notice his lips quirking up in a smile "Why aren't you eating?" he wonders

Staring at my plate, I finally dare express what's on my mind "Is…is it good?"

No answer

I lift my eyes, only to realize he was waiting for me to look at him. I'm a kickass lawyer and a very strong confident woman, why do I feel so nervous over a meal? Maybe because I was raised to dislike any type of failure, if something is not perfect then it's no good, this is what my dear mother taught me.

It will take quite some time for me to get rid of those deeply rooted reflexes

"It's good" he replies "Real good"

"Really!" I bring a spoon full of rice to my mouth and realize he's right, it's delicious, I'm so proud of myself "You're right. I'm not used to cooking much, so I was afraid you wouldn't like it"

"I can't judge, I'm not a good cook either" I'm grateful for Nick's comment that lifts a little of the existing tension between us

"I grew up eating mainly pasta and pizzas" I admit "My mom wasn't around much and instead of giving me cooking lessons, she left money and menus on the kitchen counter"

"How about you father?" That's the first time Nick asks me a personal question

"Took off when I was four" I ignore the way too familiar pang in my heart. I could never completely overcome the feeling of abandon he left behind him. When I was a little girl, I entertained the fantasy that I was Robert Redford's illegitimate child and he never got in touch because my mom threatened to ruin his carrier if he ever did. As a teenager I thought of looking for my father, but I had nothing to start with my search, no name, no picture…It's like he never existed and no matter how much I begged, cried or threatened my mom wouldn't budge.

Nick clears his throat "My…my father died when I was twelve, Theresa was barely three…he died on the field, he was my mom's partner at work and in her daily life" he gives me a bitter smile, I can tell the memory still hurts

"I'm sorry" I whisper in barely audible voice and Nick simply nods

After dinner, Nick clears the dishes while I feed Kelly who drifts off to sleep shortly after. I place him delicately in his crib. I stroke lightly his cheek and proceed to tell him that he has a sister and that I can't wait for them to be reunited, just when I turn around I see Nick lying against the door frame, his face emotionless as usual, but something in his eyes tells me he heard my monologue.

Under his fierce scrutiny, I feel small and defenseless, the need to deflect the attention from me submerges me "You came to wish Kelly goodnight?"

He takes slow strides towards the baby's crib and bends a little so he can kiss lightly Kelly "Good night, buddy"

As he resumes his initial posture, he stares at me for what feels like forever, I try to think of something to break that awful silence, but my brain has gone on vacation. Where are you brain when you are most needed?

Pity is something I can't stand

"Have a goodnight, Nick"

He nods and walks to his bed by the entrance. I close the bedroom door and lie on the bed, I grab my cell phone from the night stand and scroll through my gallery until I find what I was looking for; a picture of a three year old Diana, collecting daisies from a garden. She looks so happy, so beautiful with her ocean blue eyes, platinum blond hair and porcelain skin. The exact replica of her mother, just like in turn, I am the exact replica of my mom. A tear streaks down my face as I caress the screen, begging my aching chest to ease the pain.

I don't remember when I fell asleep, but when I open my eyes again, Sean is standing before my baby's crib with Kelly in his arms. I try to jump from bed, but my legs won't move, all sensation of my lower body disappeared, but it's not the loss of my moving ability that frightens me most, it's the vision of Sean heading out with my son in his arms.

"Kelly, Kelly…." I scream until my lungs burn, but Sean sends me a devilish grin that deforms what I once considered a beautiful face and disappears with my son "Kelly…Please, No…Kelly…"

My vision becomes blurry and everything starts shaking around me in the world shattering moment "…lind…Adalind…It's…st…ream…Just a bad dream" I finally make out the words that belong to a familiar voice. I open my eyes with a lot of difficulty. Everything around me is a foggy and I realize it's due to the tears that clouded my vision. Nick is sitting on my bed, his hands on my shoulder, there's concern in his eyes.

"Where's Kelly?" I try to shrug his arms away he won't let me

"He's fine, luckily your screams didn't wake him. You're okay?" his hands drop from my shoulders and I feel suddenly cold and hollow

I nod "Yes…No…I don't know…Sean took Kelly" tears keep falling and my throat is clogged, making it very difficult for me to speak "He took him" I cry

"Adalind, it was just a dream" he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and lifts my chin with his fingers so that I meet his beautiful green eyes

"You don't get it" I shake my head "He won't stop until he gets what he wants"

"I won't let him approach my son, Adalind, I promise" somehow, his sincere eyes and his softening voice help me relax a little bit, but just as he starts rising from the bed, a rush of panic submerges me. I grab his forearm and blurt out something I never thought I'd ask in a lifetime "Could…could you stay here…just for tonight…I'd feel much safer knowing you'd kill whatever walks through that door"

Nick is clearly surprised and all of a sudden all that bravado from earlier is gone. I can almost see Mr. Bravado holding a bindle on his shoulder and murmuring a joyful "Sayonara, Adalind Chan"

"It's ok if you don't want to" I amend quickly "It's weird, I guess"

Nick gets up from the bed and leaves the room.

So much for our fresh start, I can't blame him though. What did I expect really? Oh God, I sounded like I was propositioning him. How will I ever face him again? Nick's reappearance at my bedroom door puts an end to my internal diatribe. He walks to the other side of the bed, puts his gun and charger on the night stand and lies silently beside me. I'm so shocked that it takes me few minutes to register what's just happened.

"Thank you" I murmur

When I start believing he's not going to answer, he turns his green eyes on me and lets them roam over my face like a feather caress on my tingling skin.

Day 01 in the Fome: Barely survived