It's so very easy to lose track of time in a hospital. Her cell phone dead and her watch at home, Sydney had no idea what time it was when Arlen took her hand and led her into his sister's room.

"Arlen, your sister hates me. I'm here for you and Jess." Sydney was less than thrilled at the situation she was being put in.

"Honey, I know you two have a past," Arlen began.

"Again, she hates me. She thinks I…"

Arlen sighed. "Jess refuses to go in again, David got called into surgery…"

"Like someone's burst appendix couldn't have waited," she grumbled.

"I can't deal with her alone anymore, Syd." He wasn't too proud to beg right now. "Please?"

She sighed, she could never tell him no when he needed her. "Okay."

They were three steps into the room before a hoarse voice croaked, "What the fuck is she doing here?"

"Just stop, Rachel," Arlen commanded, all of his usual niceties absent from his voice.

Rachel was five years older than Arlen. She was pregnant with Jess while she was in high school, having him just before graduation. Arlen's parents passed away a year later and Rachel was to be Arlen's guardian, but Sydney wouldn't hear of it. She bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend with Jess and Sydney's parents took Arlen in almost immediately. They lived together throughout high school and that's when Rachel's resentment started. It didn't get any better once Jess hit elementary school. He always had so much fun with Uncle Arlen and "Aunt" Sydney. They shared an apartment throughout college that became a more stable home for Jess than his own. Sydney was a natural with children, making her career choice a perfect match, and had formed a strong bond with Jess through the years…that's what made Rachel hate her most.

"Coming to take this one straight from the womb?" Sydney closed her eyes and tried to let the comment pass without retaliation.

"Rachel, you need to get the fuck over yourself," Arlen growled. "All she has ever done is put others before herself, helping you in the process!"

Rachel laughed, the sound cold and cruel. "That's because she doesn't have anyone of her own! She took you away from me, then my son, and now I can guarantee she's after…after…"

Sydney rolled her eyes, unable to contain herself any longer. "You haven't even named her, you psychopath!" She covered her mouth.

"Least I can get someone to knock me up."

Arlen looked at Sydney. "It's the detox talking."

"The fuck it is, Arlen," Rachel laughed. "I'm fucking clearheaded and your bestie over there takes from me because she keeps failing at her own life."

Angry tears spilled from Arlen's eyes. "Jesus Christ, Rachel you almost killed your daughter with heroine!"

"She almost married a fag, scared a guy off after a few months, and hasn't been able to land a 'real job' in what ten years of trying?"

"Fag?" Sydney and Arlen's voices were in unison.

"Oh don't take the offense, you make them that way, after all. You have to be a shitty ass lay – first my brother, then his doctor boyfriend…"

Sydney's eyes began to water despite herself. She hated letting Rachel get to her…but there was a painful truth to her cruel words. "Stop," she whispered.

"And your latest guy ran away from you."

"Rachel, enough!" Arlen screamed. "I don't know if it's the presence of or the lack of drugs making you insane right now, but you need to stop. We are here to help you…"

"She wants my fucking baby!"

"No she doesn't, I do!"

"You'll raise it with her! You'll…" Sydney couldn't take anymore berating. She loved Arlen to death, but her breaking point had been reached. David was only one floor up and would be back soon…and there was Jess. Arlen wouldn't be alone. She knew it was stupid to let the pathetic excuse of a human being before her make her feel so low, but given the very true points she had made, her instinct was to flee.

Having no car and a dead cell phone, she left the hospital and began to walk in the freezing cold. It was dusk and she had no idea where she was going, but she found that she didn't care. It wasn't until she wound up in a bar a few blocks away that she completely broke down.

"Tell me not to drink." A voice came desperately through Nathan's cell phone. There was a number on the screen he didn't recognize.

"Excuse me?" Nathan felt…well, a little spooked actually. He had been fighting against the urge to drive to the liquor store since school ended that day.

"Tell me that drinking is stupid and solves nothing and makes things worse in the morning no matter how much better it may make things in the now." He recognized the voice as Sydney's.

"Syd?" At first, he thought she was somehow trying to get him to realize that his daylong thoughts were wrong, but he knew that couldn't be the case. He then registered the tears in her voice and his concerns from earlier in the day vanished. "Where are you?"

"Hemmingway's." She sniffled. "I…I've …" She sobbed openly, not caring that people were staring at her as she used the bar's phone.

"I'll come get you."

"Nathan, I'm sorry that I didn't pick up the phone and I…"

"Doesn't matter, sweetheart." The word just came out. "Give me ten minutes."

True to his word, Nathan pulled up in front of Hemingway's…in a bit less than ten minutes. He walked inside and found Sydney at the corner of the bar, still shivering from her walk there. He put his hand on her shoulder and she turned. Her eyes were red and slightly swollen, her cheeks damp. He took her into his arms.

"God, Nathan, I'm so sorry. I just…I didn't know who else to call and…"

"It's okay." He walked her out of the bar, his arm around her protectively. "Susan's staying with her mother tonight, they're trying to work some things out, so you have my ear for as long as you need it." He opened up his passenger side door and helped her in.

On the ride back to his place, Sydney told him everything about the last two days. When she finally finished, she added, "I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls and please don't think that I didn't go to school today because of the other night."

"If I'd had the last thirty-six hours that you did, I wouldn't feel much like talking to me or going to work either."

"Nathan, I didn't not want to talk to you…I just…we were so…" They pulled into his driveway. "I couldn't deal with everything all at once. I sound like a broken record, but I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say right now." Fresh tears fell from her exhausted eyes and Nathan's heart ached for her.

"You don't have to say anything else, Syd." They exited the car and his arm slid around her again as they made their way to his front door. Once inside, Sydney immediately headed for the couch, Nathan soon joining her. It only took a moment for her to shift her body, placing her head was in his lap. He ran his fingers through his hair, soothing her more than he could have possibly known. Having not slept in almost two days, she fell asleep instantly.

An hour passed and Nathan didn't move. He spent the time playing with Sydney's hair and rubbing her back, wishing he could make things better for her and longing to know what, exactly, they were to one another. Sydney began to stir and before she could even open her eyes, registered the warmth beneath her head. She was so happy that she wasn't alone…but her heart simply couldn't fathom anymore hurt, which led her down a selfish path…

She sat up and looked at Nathan, his face concerned. Without a word, she kissed him; the act deliberate, hungry. Nathan wanted to push her away, but couldn't – not at first. After another moment, his brain made firm contact with his body and he pulled himself away.

"Syd, this isn't what you need right now," he said.

"I really think it is," she replied, trying to capture his lips again. He resisted. "Nathan, I think…no, I know that we can make one another feel…" She lowered her eyelids and bit her lip. "…better."

"I get that you're going through quite a bit right now and…"

"You know, I'm really tired of 'going through things.' I want to experience good, Nathan, not constantly live in or worry about the bad." She moved her body closer to his. "We are two grown adults who haven't been dealt the greatest proverbial cards in life. We're undoubtedly attracted to one another, we worked well together in your bedroom…" Her hand traveled his leg. She had a horrible need to prove Rachel wrong and prove to herself that she could keep a man…satisfied.

"Sydney, I really don't think this is you."

Sydney raised an eyebrow. "Who am I, exactly, Nathan? I'm tired of being the one who waits for everything to fall perfectly into place – it never works out how I think it's supposed to… I wanna be messy. I want something for myself for once and I am certain we could both benefit greatly." She looked at his face, studied it as though she'd never see it again. "You gave me butterflies from day one..." Her hand went further up his thigh. "…and I was with someone then. You have this quality about you…" Sydney could hear herself and couldn't help but feel she sounded scripted…but she didn't care. She wanted Nathan so badly that her body ached. "…like a screen star from the forties…you're gorgeous and you don't even see it, do you?" She succeeded in kissing him, very lightly, making him want the contact just as badly. "Thing is…you're so much more than that."

Nathan blushed, getting sucked into the game Sydney was playing. "Seeing his picture on your desk pissed me off a little," Nathan confessed, referring to John…to when they had just started to know one another. "I wanted…" He snapped out of it. "No. No, this isn't right. What we did on Saturday, it wasn't right. That wasn't me, I don't just…"

"Nathan, how well has 'being you' worked out, huh? I know that 'being me' has sucked immensely!" She threw away her thoughts and let basic animal instincts take over. She claimed his lips as hers and found no fight from the man before her. His tongue caressed her own and she felt him moan into her. She pulled away from him. "What man on earth doesn't want something without strings?" Nathan didn't answer. "Still unsure?" she asked, her tone almost playful. "Let me persuade you."

Within seconds, Nathan's pants were undone, the arousal he was fighting against set free. He watched Sydney lick her lips and, at first, wasn't quite sure what she was going to do – it had been well over a decade since anyone had…

"Oh, God!" His voice echoed through the living room when Sydney's lips wrapped skillfully around his length. Sydney smiled around him, pleased with his response. The rest of the sounds that left Nathan's mouth were completely incoherent. She tortured him and enjoyed doing so. Her ministrations were slow at first as she let her tongue glide across every inch of him. Lips closed, she moaned around him, the vibrations making Nathan's vision blur. When she finally began a steady rhythm, the warmth of her mouth moving along him at the perfect pace, he tangled his fingers in Sydney's hair. His hips twitched and his brain began to lose the fight with his libido. His euphoria didn't last nearly as long as either of them had hoped for…but to be fair, it had been quite a while since he'd experienced this sort of attention. He came with a growl.

Nathan leaned back, panting – a thin sheen of perspiration across his brow. He looked at Sydney, who was blushing deeply. "You…what were we…I…"

Sydney rose from her knees and took back her place on the couch. "Two adults, Nathan, that can be very happy."

He began to come back to his senses, putting himself back together…and back into his pants. He closed his eyes for a moment, hanging on to those last few blissful feelings. With his head cleared, he focused on Sydney again and his brain was back in control. "So what is this then, friends with benefits? That never works."

Sydney shook her head. "No." She chose her words slowly and carefully. "I think we both know that we're more than friends." The comment made Nathan smile slightly. "I just don't think that anything needs to be labeled, does it?"

"I'm a little confused here, Syd."

"I want to date you, Nathan, I do…I…" She had already decided that the "l word" wasn't to be used in any context whatsoever. "…enjoy spending time with you, talking to you..." She found herself getting distracted by his eyes. Depending on the light, the coloring seemed to change slightly. "…'being' with you, but without labeling it, you know?"

"So…you want a relationship with me that isn't a relationship?" He sounded hurt.

Suddenly it clicked. "No, I just want us to have a relationship that isn't pressured." She took Nathan's hand in hers. "Think about it. When people date, there's always some sort of pressure, isn't there? How does he feel about me? Will we sleep together? Well, we've taken care of the sexual end of things and we know that we like one another…" She sighed.

Luckily for her, Nathan had begun to understand. He ran the back of his hand along her cheek. "You're not looking for 'no strings', you're looking for no hurt. I get it. No 'I love yous' required before getting into bed."

"Is that so bad?" Sydney asked, sheepishly.

He shook his head. "No. I haven't dated in," he feigned a cough, "we'll just say a long time, so pressure free dating actually sounds…good."

Sydney smiled, though she was slightly ashamed of her earlier actions…and her coming words. "I need to keep us to myself." She quickly added. "Nathan, if we don't work, I can't bear anymore pity from my friends. It wasn't just Rachel's cruelty that got under my skin…it's…" She couldn't find the right way to express herself, so she gave up trying. "I need this to be mine, at least for a little while." She was convinced that this was going to be a sore point.

"So we have to sneak around school and…everyone else?" Sydney looked down at her lap. "I get you to myself?" She looked up, relieved to see a smirk on his face.

"Yeah."

"You're not going to keep yourself from me, are you?"

Sydney was confused. "What do you mean?"

"I'm fine with keeping this to ourselves, but I can't do it if you keep yourself from me. I don't want to just stop getting to know you, or you me regardless of what sort of relationship this is."

Sydney smiled, refusing to let her eyes water. He was going to be good for her; she knew it and she feared it. She reached for her purse and pulled her iPod from inside. She handed it to him and kissed his cheek. "So…start to get to know me better."

He smiled at the gesture and as he took it from her hand, he kissed her. "Staying for a while?"

"If you'll have me."

A playful glint in his eye, he responded. "Mm, that sounds like a good time."