AARON & JACKSON

-1912: The Aftermath-

"Perfect"

Jackson watched on as his boyfriend, his lover, his best friend and soul mate was fighting for survival with the nurses and doctors rallying around him, his eyes were full with tears, he couldn't take it anymore and he turned away from the window, he couldn't take seeing Aaron in anymore pain, he'd watched him suffer enough. He took in a deep breath and shakily let it out as the tear drops fell from his eyes and ran down his cheeks. Momentarily he looked up and saw Chas running towards him, in a state equal to his own. She immediately pulled him into a hug and they both cried against one another. Once she calmed down she pulled away and looked him in the eyes and asked him to go over the events, she hadn't understood him properly on the phone he was in too much of a panic. Jackson went on to tell her everything, from finding him topless and claiming to have been in Mark's bedroom and how it was designed to hurt him back because in Aaron's eyes, that's what Jackson had done to him – hurt him.

Chas rolled her eyes at the replay of events been told by Jackson. What the hell was Aaron thinking? Why couldn't he just be happy for once in his life? And with someone who loved him more than anything? Those were questions she intended on getting answers to. Jackson explained the accident and that Aaron had ran out to him, had chosen him but then only to be run down by an out of control car and how horribly he then landed back on the concrete road.

Chas wiped her eyes and nodded, she blew out a deep breath. "How bad is he hurt?"

Jackson sighed. "They've said he has swelling on the brain, a broken hip from the impact of the car, a broken arm, and internal bleeding which they are dealing with at the minute, he has other minor cuts and bruises…" Jackson explained with a sigh and looked away apprehensively.

Chas' eyes narrowed at him. There was something else. "Jackson?"

"They aren't sure when he'll wake up, they're going to try and reduce or completely remove the pressure on his brain but the next forty eight hours are crucial and, and we have to be prepared" Jackson's expressions faltered from the braveness he'd put up for Chas' sake. Chas immediately saw his sadness return and moved to comfort him but Jackson stepped back, shaking his head slightly. Chas wasn't offended by him, he needed space it was perfectly understandable.

"O-o-okay…" she smiled and cleared her throat as she wiped away her tears "Well then we wait" she told him with a nod.

"I let him down" Jackson told her quietly.

"No" Chas frowned. "You both let each other down and I hope to god you both get another chance…and before you start thinking anything this accident was neither his or your fault, got it?"

Jackson nodded, she was right as always. They had let each other down, it was clear to see now, typical when faced with the possibility of his boyfriend's death, a bad situation…why were things always seen clearly in the aftermath of such disaster?

…

Mark hadn't moved from the footpath outside of his house since the ambulance left with Aaron almost an hour ago, he just stood staring down at the pool of blood on the road, tear trails were evident on his cheeks and his red eyes were still full with tears. He just cried silently. He knew why he kept getting involved with Aaron, the love he had for him but it didn't make it any easier when each time he was knocked out by the combined love of Aaron & Jackson, when it came to those two he should have expected it again after the first time, but he hadn't, he thought Aaron wanted him and on one hand he knew Aaron meant his words, but on the other he knew he was just using him as an excuse, a safe haven from his life with Jackson, a place to hide, problem was Mark had let him, again the reason for that was love, his true love for Aaron Livesy. Absent minded; Mark turned and walked back into his house, he was blank, complete void of any expression at least until he closed the front door and a disgruntled look washed over him and he vomited heavily all over the kitchen, sick to the stomach from what he had witnessed.

…

Aaron frowned as he realised where he stood once again, he looked up and the funnels were bellowing out black smoke, the sun was shining and the ocean was a calm deep blue and the boat deck was filled with passengers going about their daily business. "This isn't funny, what the hell is going on?" he muttered to himself as he leaned against the iron railings and looked out at the ocean. He'd been here before, he'd already lived this and knowing what was to come he'd rather he didn't relive the rest of it. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

Adam smirked as he stood next to him. "This is one dream you can't get out of"

Aaron turned and looked at Adam with a frown. "W-what the hell, you're in a sanatorium right now"

Adam nodded with a smile. "In the real world yeah…"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Okay is this one of those inner mind things again?"

"You don't remember do you?" Aaron's confused scowl gave Adam his answer. "You were run down by a car…you're in a coma actually"

"Oh well how's that for luck?" Aaron grinned sarcastically. "Yet again causing more hurt, I hope I don't wake up"

"Hmm…let's think about that shall we?" Adam said and he had no intention of waiting for a reply. "What your loved ones lives could have been like if you weren't in it…."

"I'd rather we didn't" Aaron replied with a heavy sigh.

"Tough" Adam answered with a glare. "First…Jackson…you know the man you love? The man you ran back to but were stopped by the car? Well imagine his life without you…he'd still be with Samantha living a lie, Hazel making his life hell…maybe even to the point of suicide…possibly on this very ship…I mean look around it's pretty easy too…jump over the edge, gone in a few minutes from the cold…that's if the impact doesn't do it…"

Aaron frowned, he did not want to hear that but he didn't seem to have any choice.

"But then you came into his life, an attractive, healthy young man, you showed him what his life could be like and you both started a journey together that cannot be broken because the bond you two have is indestructible, you love each other and now Jackson is free, his relationship is better with his mum…and I know, I know that is down to you Aaron"

Aaron scoffed.

"Oh you're being daft now, stop with the grunts and listen because it's true"

"And what about Jak then?"

"An addition to your life together, a test if you will I suppose, one you're pushing to a fail, so when you wake up, I suggest you adjust to him in your life, he's apart of Jackson, you can love him just as much as you do him"

Aaron didn't answer, his silence spoke volumes, he was thinking about the possibility. "And then there's your mum…Carl was a nasty piece of work, what if you weren't around and that relationship became abusive…where would she be now? The fact is though Aaron you are alive and very much here, if you weren't she wouldn't know what would be the best thing in her life"

"And you're saying that's me?"

"You know you are" Adam told him and looked him in the eye and held his gaze for a few seconds. "Tell me something, what do you think your life would have been like if this ship hadn't sunk?"

"A load of shit, for one I don't think Jackson would have gotten off this ship with me if it docked like he said, leaving me heartbroken probably, he'd be that coward again"

"But" Adam smirked. "That didn't happen"

Aaron sighed. "Are you deliberately trying to confuse me?" he asked. "No it did not happen like that; now we're together through convenience"

"That's a bit daft innit? You were running after him so somewhere inside you, you know you are both in love with each other, and you know damn well you can be happy. The problem in this relationship is not him, it's you"

"Oh cheers, and why are we here anyway? Back here on this ship? It's the last place I'd wanna be, coma or not"

"Now you're just being stubborn, you can't be here, or in the real world even talk about it, you're here because it means a hell of a lot to you, it changed your life"

"No, I hate it"

"Your life?"

"No this. It almost killed me"

"And Jackson, don't forget that"

"Is he here? No he isn't! I'm the one that messed up again and ended up in hospital"

"Well why did you do that?"

Aaron shrugged and looked away. "I'm too damned selfish, I thought about no one except me. I had sex with another man and then I intentionally hurt Jackson by telling him I was in Mark's bedroom, and I had to watch as he got on his knees and begged me to go home with him because he loved me, and do you know what I did? I as good as laughed in his face, I'm cruel, selfish, and cold-hearted and I don't deserve his or anyone else's love, what I did to Carl and this ship made me like this" he told Adam quickly in a rant then stormed off.

Adam sighed, rolled his eyes and followed behind him. "Oh grow up and stop with the self-loathing! I'll tell you what you are shall I?"

Aaron shrugged as he charged on ahead.

"Aside from the issues you have right now, which aren't permanent…y…yo…well you're just perfect alright, t-that's what you are and everyone loves you Aaron, they do…you just have to wake up and live your life and this time I mean properly, live it like it's your last day because like this proves you just don't know what's around the corner"

Aaron stopped and turned around with tears running down his face. "And how the hell do I know I'll even wake up? How do you know? This is just a dream"

Adam nodded. "Yeah it is, but you're a fighter, does the aftermath of killing Carl and the aftermath of Titanic not make you see that? You've gone through so much Aaron, you really are a fighter, Carl and this ship may have impacted you severely but you can stop them from taking hold of you. You know you can do it, they almost won before you've just got to have faith in yourself again"

"How?" Aaron sobbed as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Letting yourself be loved by the right man might help for a start" Adam smiled. "Keep fighting Aaron, you're not done yet" in seconds everything went black.

…

Twenty four hours had passed since Aaron arrived in the hospital, Jackson hadn't slept and neither had Chas. The doctors had done all they could, he was stable now. They were waiting on him, waiting for him to wake in his own time, the fact that he was breathing on his own was a great relief for Jackson and Chas. Chas was in the waiting room while Jackson now sat in a chair beside the bed.

Jackson reached out and held Aaron's hand gently. He had a bandage around his head and his face was pale which caused the cuts and bruises to stand out just that little more. He watched as Aaron's chest rose and fell slowly. Jackson smiled as he brought Aaron's hand to his lips and kissed it. "You've got to wake up babe. I'm missing you like crazy, mum sends her love…I know that confused me too…you're not awake to hear it…" Jackson frowned as he explained. "A-anyway I've been thinking, when you get out of here me and you will go on holiday, mum can have Jak for a while. I have to focus on us first before you adjust to Jak in your life aswell as both of ours combined. I-I wish you didn't have to adjust to something else but he's my son Aaron…a-and I love him the same as I love you, I can't forget about him now, I just hope you can accept him too" he told him and then reached out avoiding the cuts, he stroked his face.

"I love you so much" his voice cracked as he cried at those words. "Come back to me Aaron, please" he sobbed. "I'm begging you…again, I need you like you need me and I know you do, you chose me, you shouted for me, I know you love me a-and I forgive you, you wanted to hurt me…I don't blame you I didn't handle things well and it pushed you away, I-I'll never ever push you away again Aaron I promise you, just please wake up we all miss you, our lives aren't complete without you in it and I don't want that to be a reality anytime soon…" he told him as he reached out and pulled out the necklace from under the hospital gown and held it tightly in the palm of his hand and sobbed his heart out and rested his head on the bed as he became overcome by his emotions. "I love you, I'll never stop, please wake up" he begged once again.

When Jackson calmed down he sat back up again and Aaron was still unconscious. He wiped his tears away and let go of the necklace and ring and placed it down carefully on his chest on top of the gown. He stood up and leaned down and kissed him softly on his lips. "I won't be far" he whispered then walked away and out of the room. The realisation of not knowing how long or when he'd wake up hit him hard and it hurt badly.

The following morning Chas insisted that Jackson go home to rest and see his son then come back fresh he gave in and left; upon returning to the house someone was waiting on the doorstep. Samantha. He frowned and walked up the front path. "What are you doing here? Thought you were overseas?"

Samantha nodded. "I'm still going, I lied a bit…m-me and you need to talk Jackson…can we go inside?"

"Erm, now isn't a good time…if you want to see Jak he's with my mum"

"I don't Jackson" she replied with a sigh. "But I did hear about Aaron and I am so sorry"

Jackson snorted as he unlocked the front door. "Yeah, course you are"

"I don't understand your attitude"

"Well over a day without sleep Sam, I don't have a clue whether he's going to live or die! Now you understand!" he told her as he stormed inside and moved to close the door in her face but she stopped him. "I'm not in the mood for this"

"Tough, we need to talk Jackson and I need to do it now"

Jackson sighed and opened the door. "You've got ten minutes" he told her as she walked in and he closed the door behind her.

TBC…