I still do not own anything.
After they both finished eating, Faith had started to clean up. She could tell that Bosco was in pain, every once and awhile he would lean back in his seat and hold his ribs. She didn't say anything about it because she knew that he would say she was worrying too much and that he was fine. While she put everything away, Bosco made his way into the living room, she heard him fussing over something so she went to see what he was doing. He had his entire bag unpacked from the hospital and it was thrown all over the couch, he was obviously looking for something important.
"Damnit." He groaned "where the hell-"
"Bos, what are you looking for?" he jumped when she spoke. He hadn't noticed her standing in the doorway.
"Nothing." He said sharply and sat down in a huff.
"Well if you're not looking for anything, why are your clothes thrown everywhere?"
"Maybe it's because I didn't want them packed anymore Faith. Why does it always have to be something with you?" he snapped "Just because I took MY clothes out of MY bag, it means that I'm looking for something. Great detective work Yokas."
"Yeah. Right. I guess that's just me though, huh?" she headed back into the kitchen and finished with the dishes then quickly headed upstairs. Bosco didn't say a word to her the entire time. She was hurt that he would yell at her like that, after all she just wanted to help him. She went into the bedroom and lay down for a moment to try and calm down but began to feel worse and worse about what had just happened. She went over to her bag and looked for her phone and remembered it was in the kitchen. She wanted to leave but couldn't leave him alone; she would get her phone and have Charlie come stay with his moody ass because she sure didn't want to be around him anymore. She walked down the steps and seen Bosco still rummaging through his things from the hospital and didn't bother to say another word. She found her phone and dialed her home phone number; it rang until the answering machine picked up. "Hey guys, if either of you are still up, can you please give me a call. Thank you I love you." She hung up the phone and paced around the kitchen for a few minutes waiting for one of her children to call her back.
"Faith." Bosco's very faint voice called to her from the living room and she ignored in. she did not want to hear anything that he had to say, she felt stupid for even thinking that it was a good idea to try and work things out with him. "Faith, please." He called again, and she ignored him again. He finally got up and went into the kitchen to talk to her. When she seen him approaching her she turned her back to him. "Faith, don't go. Please don't leave me here."
"Oh c'mon Bosco don't try and act like you are sorry now. I was trying to help you, like I ALWAYS try and help you, but you just freak out on me. I'm sick of it, I knew it was stupid to think that we might be able to talk things out and be friends again. We can barely even get past dinner without an argument. As soon as someone calls me back, they can deal with you. I'm going home." She said sharply without turning around and looking at him. Saying those things to him hurt her as much as she was hoping they would hurt him, and they did. Bosco felt like he had just been shot again. The one thing he vowed never to hurt again if he got the chance to even talk to again, he hurt.
"You're right. I'm sorry. You were just trying to help me Faith. I didn't want you to see me in pain, and I can't find my medicine anywhere and I started to feel like I was going to have a panic attack that's why I rushed out after dinner. You don't have to wait for anyone to come here, you can just go. But I want you to know that I didn't mean what I said." He turned around and went back into the living room and started to put his clothes back into his bag and headed upstairs leaving Faith in the kitchen still. Bosco lay in his bed trying to fight off his panic attacks and the pain, but it was becoming too much to handle. He was slowly being dragged into his own horrible memories until he was fully engulfed in a panic attack. He hated the pain the panic attacks brought back to him, his father beating his mother, his brother being killed, Faith being shot, 9/11, Hobart being killed, Faith telling him he is useless, and then being shot in the hospital. It was like a movie on repeat that he couldn't turn off. He could hear every word that was said during each event, he felt the pain he felt at that moment, he felt like his heart was being ripped out every time, he couldn't help but to cry, and cry really hard. He wrapped his arms around his torso and squeezed very tightly as if he were holding himself together. Faith had heard his sobs from the kitchen and she was now worried. She grabbed a bottle of water, a wet rag and found his medicine and rushed up the stairs. When she opened the door to his Bedroom she fell apart, she couldn't stand seeing him hurt, and at this moment, he was being tortured. She hurried over to him and sat on the bed next to him. She put the wash cloth on the back of his neck and took out a pill and opened up the water bottle.
"Bosco, look at me." She tilted his head up to meet her eyes "It's okay. Everything is okay." He nodded his head but he was still heavily crying. She handed him his pill and the water. "Once you take it, you will start to feel a little bit better I promise." He couldn't manage to speak; all he could do was cry and nod. Faith didn't know what else to do for him besides tell him everything would be okay. She moved closer to Bosco's shaking body and put her arms around him he turned slightly and buried his face into her shoulder. "Bos, everything is okay. I'm here; I'm not going anywhere, just relax okay." She felt his body ease a little under her arms as time passed. She had seen him have panic attacks before, but never as serious as that one. It really scared her. Once he had finally settled down, he hurried into the bathroom and washed off his face. After every panic attack he ever remember having, cold water against his face always helped calm him a little bit more, but now, when he looks in the mirror he sees the slight reminder of one of his painful memories. Though almost completely gone, he can still see his scar even if other people don't notice it at all. Every day he relives the hospital shooting because of it. It's just a small price he has to pay for Faith still being alive, that's why he doesn't mind it much anymore. He couldn't believe he had broken down that way in front of Faith. He knew he had a lot of explaining to do now. He emerged from the Bathroom back into his bedroom where Faith sat very still at the edge of his bed. "How are you feeling?" she asked in the calmest voice she could muster up.
"Still a little shaky, but a lot better than before." He let out a deep sigh and sat down next to her. "Thank you. You could've easily left. If I were you, I would've been long gone. But you stayed. So thank you." He looked at her with pleading eyes "I'm sorry."
"I know you are Bos. I wouldn't leave you like that. Especially since I had your medicine in my purse, I just wish you would've told me that that's what you needed and then this would've all been avoided."
"Yeah, you know how I am though. I wanna do everythin myself." He kept his head down; he didn't want to look into her eyes because he knew that he would break down again. They sat there in silence for a few moments as Faith looked around at the pictures on his dresser. "Faith." His voice broke the silence.
"Hmm?"
"Do you really think it's stupid for us to try and talk things out?" he said quietly, almost in a whisper.
"No. I want to try and work everything out, only if you do too."
"Okay, then let me start." He moved back on the bed and faced Faith "There is a lot of stuff that happened with us that really hurt me. I know that a lot of it hurt you too. I wish I could change all of the stupid shit I did, but I can't and I have to live with it. I am sorry though. I always put you in a position where you didn't have a choice but to help me. That was never fair to you. I was selfish, I know that. I think the way that we ended things…well I don't know. I just don't think we should've ended things. Maybe it was just me, but there was a reason we worked so well as partners. You understood me. I didn't let anyone see the sides of me that I let you see. Hell I don't think my own Ma knows half as much about me as you do. What I guess I'm tryna say here is that I wanna fix this. I don't wanna go another five years without talkin to each other until something bad happens. It sucks."
"I agree Bos, I did a lot of things that weren't fair to you either. I lied to you about the abortion, and the cancer. I was selfish when you came back to work after you got shot, I didn't want anything to happen to you, but instead of telling you that and helping you, I went to Swersky. I put you down numerous times and I hate myself for it. You were always there for me, and when you needed me the most, I wasn't there for you. I hate to admit it, but I was jealous of Cruz, that's why I was always on you about her. I knew that she was the closest you ever got to loving someone and that scared me. It made me think that she was taking you away from me. There is just so much hurt between the both of us, do you really think we can fix it?" she put her head down, tears streaming from her eyes hitting her cheeks like acid, leaving streaks where they fell.
"Wait. You were jealous of Cruz?" He looked at her in shock
"Ya, I guess I was. Really jealous actually."
"I wish we would've just been honest with each other from the start. So much would be different; I think I know how you were feelin when I would talk about her. Kinda how I felt when you would talk about Fred, I'd only tell you to make your marriage work because I knew how it was to be a kid growing up in a broken home. Not because I wanted to see you with him. I hated when we would all go to Haggerty's after work and have a blast then I'd drop you off back at home to him. It made me sick. But what was I supposed to do? Tell you that you weren't going home that you should stay with me. Yeah. That would've worked out real well."
"I just needed you to want me and to fight for me Bos. If you would've said not to go back, I would've stayed with you."
"All I ever did was Want you Faith. How couldn't you see that?" he put his head down "What about Miller, you ran right to him after you got to major cases, why him and not me?"
"Because I didn't think you felt the same way I felt. I'm sorry."
"If you felt so strongly for me, then why didn't you at least take the chance and find out how I felt. When everything happened, if it would've been anyone else that questioned my vision or went to Swersky, I would've said fuck you and never looked back. But I wanted to prove myself to you, I went to your house, to show you my targets, I was willing to beg you to believe me, and come to the range and watch me if you still didn't. How couldn't you see that you were so special to me Faith? That's what I don't get."
"I don't know Bos. I really just didn't think you cared." Now Faith was the one that was crying. She was finally realizing that she had made a lot of mistakes herself.
"Well I did and I still do. How do you feel now?"
"How do I feel about what?" she asked lamely. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him and lifted her chin so he could see into her eyes.
"How do you feel about me, about us, honestly?"
"Like I made a big mistake a long time ago when I decided to stay with Fred and not leave once I became a cop. I think you're an amazing person, I don't ever want to lose you again I know that much. I love you Bosco, but do you really think we can make this work?"
"Ya, I think we can." He said as he felt himself start to get hot again as tears welled up his eyes. "How about we take this slow though, I don't wanna rush it all out. It's late, why don't we get some sleep and talk more tomorrow?"
"That's fine, goodnight Bos." She stood up and headed for the door but stopped and turned back around abruptly. "Do you care if I lay in here with you for a little?" Bosco felt his heart start to race. 'It was a friendly question, it wasn't like she asked to have sex, she wanted to lie down.' He thought to himself
"That's fine." He stood up and grabbed the remote off of his dresser he turned the light off and laid down in bed. Faith lay down beside him as they watched TV. Bosco realized he had to take off his leg brace, he looked over and Faith was fast asleep. He shimmied out of bed removed his sweat pants and then the brace. In the process he tore the bandage on his leg off and knew he would need to put on a new one but Faith had them. He leaned down and shook her gently but she didn't move. "Faith" he called a little loudly, she woke up confused, forgetting where she was. "Faith I took my brace off and the bandage came off too. I need a new one. Can ya help me out here?" she laughed at his frustration, he was standing shirtless in his boxers trying to limp around the room to find his gauze bandages. She had never found him more attractive than she did now.
"Yeah Bos, just lay down, you shouldn't be walking without that thing on." He nodded and let out a sigh of relief as he flopped down on the bed. Faith got out of bed and grabbed his bandages she turned on the light and he quickly covered his eyes. "I'm sorry I should've warned you."
"No, it's fine just sudden light changes still mess with my eye." She was shocked that he was still having problems with it. "Do you think you can put the bandage on for me? My ribs are killing me."
"Of course, do you want one of your pain pills?" Before he could answer, she grabbed the bag with all of his scripts in it and put in on his night stand. "Here, take it so you don't wake up in the middle of the night in pain." She handed him a pill and his bottle of water and began to take off the remaining parts of his old bandage. She cleaned it off before she applied the fresh gauze and he yelled in pain. "You get shot, and I bet you didn't say a word, but I pour a tiny bit of peroxide on it and you are crying like a baby." She teased at him.
"I'm not crying. Just put the bandage on already." He whined and Faith laughed a little more. She couldn't believe he was being such a baby about it, he acts like superman all day long until something needs cleaned. Faith finished with his bandage and put everything on his dresser so he could see it without tearing the house apart. She gathered up her things to go into the other room and sleep. "Where ya goin?"
"To bed, it is 1am Bos." She stated
"I know what time it is. Why are you leavin' though? You were already sleeping in here, it'd be stupid to have to make two beds in the morning."
"If you want me to sleep in here Bos, you could just ask." She couldn't help but smile at him trying to be slick.
"Well, I'm just sayin that it'd be easier that's all." He smirked at her as she moved towards the bed. "Turn off the light first please."
"Geez you are so needy." She turned the light off and lay back down with Bosco. He put his arm around her and looked at her for a moment to see if she would reject it or not. She moved closer to him and laid her head on his chest and he held her tight, as if he were to let go she would disappear forever.
"Faith." He said quietly, not wanting to wake her if she had fallen asleep.
"hmm?" she looked up at him with tired eyes and he tilted his head down slightly and kissed her forehead.
"I love you." He said softly as she nuzzled herself closer to his warm embrace.
"I love you too Bos, goodnight." She fell asleep with a smile on her face and Bosco lay there cherishing the moment for a while longer. Faith was the only woman he had ever told that he loved and actually meant it to besides his mother. He fell asleep a short while after that as happy as he could possibly be.