AARON & JACKSON
-1912: The Aftermath-
"Reawakening"
I stare nervously up at the cross up on the wall, the rows of benches continue behind me. I breathe out a deep heavy sigh and close my eyes and begin.
I'm not so sure why I'm here, I'm not religious and I certainly don't believe. I think I just wanted to be somewhere where I could talk alone in private, just to get my thoughts out you know? And you haven't struck me down yet so I guess that's a good sign…and by all accounts you made us in your image so if you didn't want men to love other men then you wouldn't have allowed it when you made us, but like I said I don't believe I'm just here to talk to get stuff out…I'm trying to be brave and positive but to be honest I'm so scared it's been a week already and he hasn't woken up. I-I…I keep talking to him, telling him about what's going on, my day and I tell him about Jak, when he's done something funny or even just smiled, he smiled at me this morning and I just cried, I cried because I want Aaron to smile at me again, I miss that cheeky little smile, I love him, every inch of him. He just needs to come around so I can hold him tight and tell him it's alright, because it will, it will be alright.
Mum and Chas have been great with Jak, we've all taken turns to look after him in between our shifts here at the hospital, we've kind of come up with an unspoken routine it's quite freaky how it all just happened actually.
I know I don't believe but if there is some higher power out there, watching over us send him back, just send him back to me, he can't just die now, that can't happen so please if you can hear me send my Aaron back to us, he's got his entire life ahead of him, he's had a year of hell so far, so please send him back so he can start again, please. I clear my throat and sit back. That's all I wanted to say really, I won't be able to live again if he's taken away…just do this one thing for me.
Jackson sat in silence for a few minutes before speaking again. Chas had a go at me again the other day, she kicked off blaming me, said I'd done this to Aaron, I was upset but it was nothing I hadn't thought myself so I just let her get it out, she's been trying to be strong, the poor woman is exhausted, trying to cope with Aaron and Adam, juggle Jak and still going to work on the odd day…I can't begin to imagine what she's going through…well I do a bit I just have to look at Jak and imagine him where Aaron is when he's older…I-it doesn't bare thinking about but that's the place Chas is in, I want to make everything better but I can't. She apologised and I told her it didn't matter, that I understood her outburst, she had to get it out, we hugged made up and now we're fine, the last few days have gone by quietly without any arguments.
I gave Aaron a bed bath this morning, it was a daunting task I'll tell ya but I managed, it was quite a nice moment, might sound weird because he's in a coma but it was as if in the silence of the room while I wiped him down with the sponge I could feel him around me, the loving bond we have was there and when I realised it I just looked at his beautiful face, I felt the love even more, he's still very much alive and I got that feeling today and it gave me a new sense of hope and I haven't stopped smiling since. He really is the man of my dreams and I wouldn't change him for the world, if I could swap places with him right now I would, because then I'd know he was okay…d-do you think they dream, coma patients? I wonder if he's dreamt about me…hell I'd settle to know if he could hear us all when we're sat talking to him, I wonder what he'd say.
Oh I erm I sat Jak on the edge of Aaron's bed and held him there and he kept looking at Aaron and back at me, I smiled so much then he started hitting him, his little hands out flat and hitting him with the palms of his hands, it was like he was willing him to wake up, it was cute and I could have watched it forever but I moved him away just in case he hurt him, doubtful though there's no force in him.
Moments later the door burst open at the back of the chapel causing Jackson to jump and turn around, when he did he saw a tearful Chas. Jackson immediately got up and walked as fast as he could to her. "What's happened?" he asked in a panic, it was only until she began to smile that he relaxed ever so slightly. "What? What is it?"
Chas cleared her throat. "He-he's awake. Jackson he's awake!" she was ecstatic and ran back out into the corridor, Jackson followed quickly behind her, his heart beat quickened and a minute later he burst into the room to see Aaron awake and sitting up, he cried hard and dropped his head into his hands.
Chas soothed him and urged him over to Aaron.
Aaron lay smiling. "Hi" he said with a croaky voice.
"Hi" Jackson shakily replied as he stopped by his side. "How are you feeling?"
Aaron nodded as he looked up into Jackson's eyes. "I'm okay, everything's a bit stiff but I'm not surprised, been out a week by all accounts"
"The worst week of our lives" Jackson told him and Aaron grabbed Jackson's hand and held it tightly.
"I'm so sorry Jackson…p-part of me didn't want to remember what I'd done…but I'm glad I can remember in a way…I'm going to start making it up to you…I shouted for you, I wanted you and I would have ran to you"
Jackson nodded as he listened to his boyfriend.
"How are you?" Aaron asked with eyes full of tears.
Jackson broke down and cried again as he leaned down and hugged him tightly. "Better now, much better"
"Good" Aaron ran his hands up and down Jackson's back comforting him "I've made so many mistakes Jackson and I keep running away…I'm going to stop running now"
Jackson nodded and pulled away and took a proper look at him. "I just want us to be happy Aaron"
"And we can do it" Aaron told him with a smile, he remembered Adam's words from his dream vividly. "How's Jak?"
Jackson chuckled. "He…he's fine, I mean his dads in hospital and he's just laid back with no care in the world…how rude eh?"
Aaron grinned. "Y-You mean that don't you?"
"What?"
"Dad…"
Jackson nodded. "I want you to be but in your own time…I won't push you, although I must tell you he was getting a bit frustrated with you" he smirked.
"Oh?"
"Well I sat him beside you this morning; he started hitting you, think he wanted you to get up"
Chas watched on with a huge smile and she couldn't have been happier when Aaron laughed at what Jackson had just told him.
"Well I'm awake now, I don't know about up yet, I can't move my legs"
Jackson frowned and looked at Chas then looked back at Aaron. "Well…the accident was really bad babe, your hip is broken…you might just need some therapy" he told him with a smile then looked at Chas.
Chas nodded slightly, receiving his silent message and she walked out in search of the doctor again.
"Yeah" Aaron said in a sigh and rested his head back on the pillow. "Have we heard anything about Adam?"
Jackson shook his head. "No I'm sorry babe, not yet"
"Oh okay…"
"I'm sure he'll be fine too...you wanna hear some news?"
Aaron nodded. "Go on then"
"Alright but don't tell me I told you so alright…"
"Ah Sam?"
Jackson nodded. "She's abandoning him, said it was me or an orphanage" he scoffed and shook his head. "So I told her of course I'll have him, he's my son"
"I'm glad you did, I-I just didn't like the idea at first, selfish reasons…"
"Yeah, about them…just because I have a son doesn't mean I'm going to neglect you for one second, you are my life to and I'm going to treat you properly from now on"
"You've always treated me properly Jackson"
"Not recently…I haven't been good with you, I shouldn't have pushed you out and I never will again…you will always have my attention, you and Jak are all I care about…you two are what my life consists of and that's never going to change"
A teary Aaron nodded and swallowed back the lump in his throat. "I love you so much"
Jackson smiled and leaned over and kissed him on his lips. "I love you too" he whispered against them. "I don't know what I'd have done if I'd lost you"
"You'd have thought of something" Aaron told him with a smirk and Jackson chuckled. "Not funny Livesy"
….
One Month Later
It was a warm day and the sky was clear; Aaron stood holding Jak outside by the car. He sighed and shook his head. "What's he like eh? He then turned to the house again. "Oi! Are you still faffing Walsh!"
"He's trying to close the case" Chas told him as she stood in the doorway.
Aaron rolled his eyes. "We're only going for a week! Mine's in the boot already"
"Yes love but judging what you left for Titanic with I'm not really surprised that you're ready before him, that man knows what he needs" she grinned.
Aaron pulled a shocked face and looked at Jak who just stared wide eyed at him. "Did you hear that? Like I'm not prepared for this holiday, one I've been waiting ages for and frankly what has got me back on my feet and your dad of course…but…" he sighed. "You have no idea what I'm talking about have ya?" he looked back at Chas and shrugged.
While he waited for Jackson, Aaron paced the footpath with Jak in his arms, humming a tune he'd heard on the wireless. "I'm ready!" Jackson announced as he walked outside with a massive suitcase.
"Ahh about time, right you" he said and held Jak out in front of him. "You be good alright, and look after your grandmothers" he said but frowned at how weird it sounded. "They're getting old" he whispered but Jackson was within earshot and laughed which made Chas glare over suspiciously. Aaron saw her and laughed himself. He hugged Jak and kissed him on the cheek. "Dad's turn now" he told him and handed him over.
Jackson hugged him close and said goodbye while Aaron said bye to his mum.
"You take care of yourself you hear me?" Chas asked.
"Yes mum, I will"
"You haven't been off the crutch long and before that was the chair" she sighed "I just worry that's all"
"Well don't, I have Jackson and he's perfectly capable of looking after me if something happens, which it won't"
"But what if you fall?"
Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes in frustration. "Mum! I'll be careful"
"I know, I-I just remember after you woke up you said you couldn't move your legs and I left to find the doctor, I was so scared in those moments until he told me it was normal, normal?" she scoffed. "I-I just don't want anything to happen that could hurt you again"
"I'll be careful I promise"
"Good…alright, come here you" she pulled him close and held him tightly. "I love you"
"I love you too" Aaron told her as he pulled away. "We'll see you in a week" he said as he walked to the car.
Minutes later after Jackson gave Jak to Chas he got in the car and they drove away. As they left Aaron noticed Jackson had tears down his face, he leaned over and wiped them away. "He'll be alright"
Jackson nodded with a smile. "I-I know we just haven't left him with anyone for this long that's all…"
"He'll be fine babe, I promise" Aaron smiled lovingly at him. "So, where's this peace and tranquillity then?"
"Out west…perfect for me and you" Jackson replied as he glanced over at him with a smile.
"And if you play your cards right, tonight could be the night" Aaron teased to which Jackson playfully glared at him in response. Aaron stared at him as he drove the car. "It's been a while hasn't it"
"Too long gorgeous" he replied while paying attention to the road.
"It'll be like a reawakening of sorts…"
Jackson frowned. "Did you swallow a dictionary or something?"
Aaron tutted. "No, I-I ju-…"
"I'm only joking" Jackson butted in. "That's lovely, what you just said…very meaningful and I know it will be, a reawakening just like you said"
Aaron smiled happily. "I've missed you Jackson, I'm so glad I don't need the chair and the crutch anymore, I'm free now and we can make love again"
"It'll be amazing Aaron, better than ever I'll make sure of that"
"Me too, tonight…" he smiled. "I can't wait" he said as he settled comfortable in the seat and looked out of the window as Jackson drove and the world passed by.
TBC…