AARON & JACKSON

-1912: The Aftermath-

"Affects"

The following morning Jackson woke up in a drenching sweat. His breathing was fast and his heart was beating faster than normal. He swallowed and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He looked over at Jak's cot and saw him awake just wriggling around, then he realised Aaron's side of the bed hadn't been slept in, a sadness hit him, he was pushing him away again, he knew that but it wasn't on purpose he just couldn't deal with his closeness at the moment. He blew out a deep breath and pushed back the duvet and walked to the cot and smiled down at Jak. "I won't be long" he told him then grabbed some clothes and headed to the shower.

Outside Aaron was sat outside on the front step puffing away on a cigarette; he was exhausted he hadn't slept since he left the cabin that night in search of answers and now the bags under his eyes just got worse by the day. He didn't sleep in his bed because he didn't want Jackson to have to face that prospect, not sex just him being there beside him, he didn't want him to have to deal with that aswell and he knew he wouldn't sleep it was pointless. He spent the night sat in the lounge with only the lamp on for light. He couldn't remember much of it actually, all he remembered was thinking of that man and asking himself why, then the rest was a blank until he realised the sun was coming up and he knew for a fact he didn't go to sleep. He blew out the smoke from his cigarette and he watched it, transfixed by it as the light breeze took it away; if everything was just that simple.

The opening of the front door caught his attention and he turned to see Adam walking out, it was his first day back on the farm, well so Aaron assumed by his clothes.

"Alright?" Adam asked.

"Does it look like I'm alright?"

Adam sighed and walked away, Aaron watched him as he finished his cigarette, he threw it away and got to his feet and walked back inside. When he walked into the kitchen Jackson was sat at the table with Jak in his rocking cradle. Aaron took his cigarette and match boxes from his pocket and placed them down on the bench.

"You didn't get in bed last night" Jackson began

"There wasn't any point, I couldn't sleep"

"And it's showing"

"Well there's not really much i can do about that Jackson is there?" he snapped then sighed. "You aren't looking your best either"

"At least I'm sleeping"

"Filled with nightmares though?"

Jackson simply nodded.

"If I could make them go away Jackson, I would" Aaron told him quietly.

"I know that" Jackson told him equally as quietly.

Aaron smiled slightly and moved to the rocker and as he approached Jak smiled at him which instantly made him smile just that little more. He reached out to unstrap him but was stopped straight away by Jackson. "Leave him"

Aaron frowned and looked at his boyfriend, confused. "I'm just gunna give him his breakfast"

Jackson shook his head. "I said leave him, I'm gunna do it"

"Oh, right" Aaron felt put out and moved away and sat at the far end of the table.

Minutes later Chas emerged from upstairs, now ready for work. "God I feel rotten this morning…" she stopped as she immediately picked up on the tense atmosphere, instantly she knew the lads weren't getting on for some reason. "Jesus, who died?"

Aaron sharply looked up at her and scowled. "Will you just shut up?"

"Err don't speak to me like that thank you"

"I can do what I like" he spat angrily with a scowl and he stormed up from the chair and walked away.

Jackson shut his eyes and shook his head. "Where are you going?" he called out after him.

"To get ready then I'm going out"

"Out where?"

"If I wanted to tell you I would, I don't. So I'm not" he said as he charged up the stairs.

"What the hell has gotten into him today?" Chas asked.

"Wish I knew" Jackson replied, he hated the lying but it had to be done.

…

An hour later Aaron walked up to the garage, intending on going back to work. He spotted his boss Dan; he smiled at him as he approached. Dan stopped what he was doing "Oh you're coming back now? "

Aaron frowned as he stopped by the side of the car Dan was working on. "Well yeah, I do work here"

"Up till a few weeks ago you did. Hell Aaron I gave you the benefit of the doubt, I gave you a month, thought there has to be a reason"

"There was!" Aaron defended; he had neglected to inform them of being run over then his long recovery.

"Tough, I don't want to hear it now"

Aaron's anger appeared instantly and suddenly he raged and slammed his fist through the window of the car, breathing hard and heavy with anger as he glared at Dan.

"And that'll be coming out of this pay packet" he told him as he held up the small packet.

Aaron scowled and turns away. "I don't give a stuff you can keep it! I don't want your money"

Dan frowned and began to run after him, when he caught up he grabbed Aaron by the arm which stopped him, the look on his face is a one of worry. "Aaron? Are you alright?"

Aaron shrugged "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just don't seem like the same lad I know"

He shrugged again and turned away again and walked off.

…

Dave, Jackson's right hand man was shocked to see him walking into the office with his son in his arms, he frowned and walked over he stood in the doorway. "Alright boss, we weren't expecting you or…your son"

"Yeah well" Jackson said with a sigh as he sat down at his desk "I'm back now and Jak will be with me a lot so your assistance is still needed just as it was when I was away"

Dave nodded.

"Thanks for keeping this place going while I've been away"

"No worries, everything alright though boss?"

"Uh yeah" he forced a smile as he looked up at him once he was comfortable in his chair. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Dave pouted and shook his head. "Just wondered, you look tired"

Jackson simply pointed at Jak with a smirk,"Ahh" he chuckles. "Right I'll get back to work"

Jackson sighed and looked at Jak as the office door was closed. "Sorry about that son, had no choice...you're actually a good baby, you never wake during the night but by me doing that doesn't mean you can start now alright?" Jackson said with a smile and Jak chuckled and kicked his legs and arms out. Jackson smiled again and then turns his attention to the paper work, making sure everything was still in order.

…

As Chas left work for her lunch she caught sight of Aaron across the street looking in the windows of the shops. As he kept walking mindlessly along he caught sight of his mum coming his way, he rolled his eyes and sighed he decided to stop, she'd catch him up anyway. "What?" he bluntly asked.

"Oh you know, your loving mother is on her lunch, she saw her only child and wanted to see if he was okay because this morning he was horrible to me for no reason" she said with a sarcastic smile.

Aaron nodded "Alright, I'm sorry"

"Forgiven" she smiled. "So what's happened and what did you do?"

"Eh?"

"It doesn't take a genius to work out that you and Jackson aren't talking, and its usually your fault"

"Oh cheers"

"Well it is true, so come on"

"I..." he blew out a breath as he tried to think of something. "I told him no" he couldn't think of anything else and he felt bad because of the real reason

"Told him no?" she chuckled.

"Do I have to spell it out?"

"Ohhh...okay, why?"

"I haven't been sleeping well, I'm knackered and the last thing I have the energy for is sex so...yeah he's pissed at me"

"I see, you do look shattered I can definitely tell"

Aaron grinned sarcastically. "Cheers just what a guy needs, anyway I'm off and please don't mention to Jackson that you know, alright?"

"Course not, where you off to?"

"To get what I'm owed" he told her as he walked off.

Chas frowned. "Aaron?" she asked with a concerned tone. Aaron simply waved without looking back.

…

I've been walking for a few hours now; stopped at the park for a while I just sat and watched the world go by. I-I can't stay in that house twenty four seven and now I'm faced with that prospect because I've lost my job…my fault really I should have told them about my accident, ah what the hell I'm not fussed anyway, it's not like I'm good at it or anything…all I seem to be good at is killing…killing? Can you believe that…I wonder if that was what I was born for?

But no, I can't be in that house all the time, I know I have to be there for Jackson but it's hard, what can I do? What can't I do? I'm confused at how far I can go with the support that he needs, I've tried hugging him he won't let me and that's nothing compared to what we used to do and now he won't and I understand I do, what he went through is unimaginable and it's made him close up, he doesn't want me and I can cope with that. I think.

Like I say I'll be there for him but I need to do something with my days, I wince in pain my hand is killing me, dried blood everywhere, I don't learn do I?

I've made my decision I can't turn back now, they'll take me back, they have too they owe me.

…

Hours later Aaron returned home to see everyone was home aswell. He walked straight to the empty kitchen, ignoring Jackson's call to him, once there he turned the tap on and cleaned the blood from his hand. Jackson walked in seconds later; he frowned at seeing the cuts across his knuckles and fingers. "What did you do?"

"Punched a window" Aaron replied bluntly.

"Why?"

Aaron let out a sigh and faced Jackson as he turned the tap off. "Because I got sacked! I forgot to mention the accident to them, they said they gave me the benefit of the doubt, that there had to be a reason, so I told him there was, but he didn't want to know, and that I was fired, I got angry" he told him with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Well done you eh? Lashing out…suppose you'll never change in that respect"

Aaron scowled at him and ignored him as he dried his hands.

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know I'll sort something, can't stay in this house forever" the truth was that he had already sorted something and he'd be at work again the following day.

"Well like what Aaron?"

"I don't know, stop going on at me I'll have a look around…" he told him then noticed the suit he was wearing. "You weren't wearing that this morning"

"Oh I went into work, took Jak along too"

"Oh" his frown deepened. "Right, what was wrong with your mum looking after him?"

Jackson shrugged. "Didn't think of asking her, you coming in the living room, we've all just got some drinks"

"Erm, nah…I'll pass thanks"

"Why?" Jackson asked with a frown.

"Because I don't want too"

"Suit yourself" Jackson told him before turning and walking back to join Adam and Chas again.

Minutes later Aaron heard Hazel walking through the front door, jokingly ranting on about how she was the last to know that they were back early. Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed. "I can't be doing with this" he mumbled. "I'm going to bed" he told himself then peaked out of the kitchen, the hallway was clear, she was with the rest of them in the living room. He opened the door further and walked along to the stairs and up them quickly.

Hazel saw a glimpse of him passing by as she stood taking off her coat in the living room. "Oh hello love" and when she got no response she frowned and looked at them. "What's with him?" she asked as they all heard the bedroom door bang shut.

Jackson looked away, he knew why, the strain that had been placed on them by his rape was causing this, he couldn't help it though but it didn't stop him feeling sad for Aaron, it wasn't his fault and he didn't deserve the effects of it all.

"He's been like that all day" Chas told her. "He'll be fine, get yourself sat down, there's a drink waiting" she told her with a smile.

"Just how I like to end the day" Hazel smiled giddily and walked to the chair and sat down, picking up her wine glass in the process.

Upstairs Aaron was lying on the bed and just when he felt like he was drifting off. Bang; the sound of the gun echoed in his ears just like it had that night. He shot up in a panic, his heart was racing; it frightened the life out of him, he swallowed hard, it was starting now, he knew it was – the effects of what he had done began to sink in, guilt being the main affect.

TBC…