OK ladies and gentlemen, here comes some super angst and a little bit of light at the end...

I stood with my mouth open, there was nothing I could say or do or think.

'Sir?' The nurse came to the door, 'is everything alright?'

I looked at her, then back at Pepper, Tony's jacket lay folded beside her.

I lowered the phone and dropped into the chair beside the bed.

'Sir?' She rushed over to me.

'I'm ok.' I managed.

She nodded and stood up, 'are you sure?'

I nodded, no I wasn't ok. But she couldn't know, no one could know.

I looked over at Pepper; she was peaceful, safe, just like Tony wanted. Only she would never smile again, I couldn't do this, I couldn't tell her. I stood up and walked out of the room.

'Watch the room.' I instructed to one of the guards.

I rushed outside, I felt my throat constricting, the crisp air was a welcome relief.

A small group of reporters was waiting outside, I immediately changed my mind, I couldn't be seen like this. I quickly turned around and rushed back inside. I made my way back to Pepper's room. At least we had privacy, perks of being friends with Tony Stark. My chest tightened, I ran through scenarios in my head, how do I tell Pepper? How do I tell her that he'll never come home? How do I tell her that she will never see him again?

A knock on the door brought my attention back.

Rhodey walked in quietly, he sat beside me. His face looked as bad as mine; I don't think I stopped crying since he called me. We sat silently looking at the floor.

'I can't do it, I can't tell her.' I muttered.

'I'll do it, I was there, I should do it.' Rhodey bowed his head.

'How did it happen?' I barely managed the words.

I heard Rhodey's heavy breathing; I knew how difficult it was. We went through this years ago when Tony went missing in Afghanistan, but we still had hope, this time was different, this time he was here and he was gone.

'You should have seen him Hap; I've never seen such rage.' He explained looking down at his feet, 'when he found her, when he saw what happened something inside him flipped.'

We looked at Pepper. He pale skin was marred by the large bruise which covered the side of her face.

'I tried to stop him from going back, he shut everything down, I couldn't even control the suit.'

I nodded, 'he would have gone whether you were there or not.' I explained.

'He knew they had weapons which would take him down, he knew and he still did it.' Rhodey shook his head.

'You know how he is.' I caught myself, 'was.'

'His reactor is still working, I don't understand.' Rhodey muttered.

'It's still working?' I looked over at him.

'Natasha said his brain is dead, I didn't ask anymore, I couldn't.' Rhodey shook his head.

I couldn't imagine being there, seeing my friend die in front of me. 'What do we do?' I asked solemnly.

'We tell Pepper, we try to make it as easy as we can, she'll be in charge of the company now, so she'll need help.' Rhodey said quietly.

I shook my head. There was no way this was happening.

'I can't, I can't tell her, in the car, she was crying, she was saying they were going to kill him, I told her that he was ok, Rhodey I lied to her.' I closed my eyes.

'I know.' Rhodey said simply.

We sat in silence for hours, nurses came and they went, they checked Pepper's vitals and occasionally stopped to talk with us. Neither of us could offer more than a weak smile, or a few words to get them to leave.

'I need some air; I think the reporters should be gone.' I stood up and stretched my back, 'will you be ok?' I knew Pepper would wake soon, I didn't know if I could face her.

'I'll be fine, take your time.' He replied.

I nodded, I hated to leave him, but truth be told, I couldn't stay in there anymore. I couldn't watch Pepper sleep, knowing that when she woke her world would collapse around her.

I must have dosed off, I didn't realise I was sleeping until Pepper's voice woke me.

'Rhodey?' She whispered from across the room.

Everything came rushing back. I immediately felt sick, I rubbed my face.

'Hey.' She smiled.

I felt the lump in the back of my throat again. I swallowed hard. I walked over to her.

'How are you feeling?' I was cautious to keep my voice from wavering.

She touched her face and flinched, 'I've been better, but hey, alive.' She smiled.

I leaned against her bed and looked down at the jacket which lay folded beside her. I bowed my head, I avoided eye contact.

'Rhodey?' She said quietly, her hand found mine.

I looked at her.

She raised herself on her elbows, 'Rhodey what's wrong?' Her face hardened.

The change in her voice reflected exactly what I felt. Other than Tony, she was the most perceptive person I'd ever known. She knew as soon as I opened my mouth. Her eyes began watering.

'Rhodey, please.' She whispered, 'what's wrong Rhodey?'

I couldn't believe how quickly I fell apart; I broke down before any words could escape my lips.

'No, no, please no.' She whispered, she shook her head, 'no, no, no.'

'I'm so sorry.' Was all I could manage between the tears, I pulled her against me.

'No, I don't believe it; please tell me it's not true Rhodey, please.' She cried, I felt her whole body shake against mine as I held her.

She gasped for breaths and the heart rate monitors sped up, 'no, god no.' She yelled over and over.

Her doctor and two nurses rushed in, the pulled me away from her.

She fought against them, 'no, leave me alone, get out.' She screamed at the nurse who tried to inject her with a sedative.

I stepped in, 'it's fine, leave us, please.' I tried to keep a firm voice.

The doctor called the nurses away, 'she doesn't need this kind of stress right now.' He said sternly helping her back down.

'Agreed, I'll take care of her.' I said quietly.

He checked her vitals before reluctantly leaving us.

She sat in the bed with her head in her hands, she sobbed uncontrollably. She was completely inconsolable. I sat beside her and pulled her into my arms.

'He wanted me to keep you safe; I promise I will do everything I can to do that.' I rubbed her back.

'I want to see him.' She pulled back and whispered.

I nodded, there was nothing which would stop her from getting what she wanted.

'I'll call Happy.'

'Does he know?'

I nodded, 'he called me earlier, when you were sleeping.' I sighed.

'It doesn't feel real, Rhodey.' She said in a whisper.

It didn't feel real to me either; it was so sudden, so quick. We'd been through hundreds if not thousands of missions which seemed so much more dangerous. I shook my head. This isn't healthy, it wasn't good for me or her to think this way.

'Don't do that to yourself Pep.'

'I'm not in denial, I'm just.' She closed her eyes, 'I don't feel that he's gone, I can still feel him, alive.'

I helped her out of the bed, 'you need closure.'

We both did.

Happy met us outside, with the power Pepper possessed as being Tony's PA and now, CEO again, we could get whatever she wanted done, she signed herself out, all while keeping a professional façade perfectly positioned on her face.

I considered paying off the staff for their silence. Peppers breakdown before and the lack of Tony by her side, the press would get wind of it and it would only snowball from there.

But that wasn't a priority right now; getting Pepper to Tony and letting her say goodbye was all that mattered.

We drove in silence, S.H.I.E.L.D agents were waiting to fly us there.

Happy and I helped Pepper into the helicopter, she wrapped Tony's coat around herself, she didn't say a word and she didn't cry. Happy and I sat beside her, each of us remembering the man who left our lives.

I couldn't find the words to say to him, I couldn't find anything to say which would be worthy of this moment. His eyes were closed; a small scratch lay across his cheek.

I ran my finger over it, his skin was still warm and the arc was still glowing. I clutched his jacket as my tears fell silently onto the sheet which covered his body.

'This doesn't feel right Tony, I still feel you with me.' I whispered, I cupped his cheek, 'you promised me a dance, I'm holding you to it.'

I sat down beside him, 'I know you're in there, they told me that your brain isn't alive anymore, I can't believe that, I just won't.'

I took hold of his hand, 'whatever this is, I believe you can come back.' I whispered.

I traced my finger around the reactor; his Black Sabbath t-shirt was soaked through with blood and ash, 'why'd you have to go back in Tony?'

I knew why, I was selfish to think differently. The reporter asked me what I thought of the fact that he would die for me before the rest of the world. He was a superhero, he would do what's right, and he did just that. He went back to stop them. He went back to prevent anyone coming after him for the Extremis, I sighed.

'Why does this feel wrong Tony?' I squeezed his hands in mine, 'it doesn't feel like you're gone.'

He looked so peaceful. I laughed to myself, how cliché. I always heard people say that, but this was different, he looked peaceful and he looked alive. I couldn't shake the feeling; there was something so unnerving in the way he looked.

'I'm sorry.' Steve's voice broke through the silence.

I didn't turn away from Tony, I just nodded.

'He saved a lot of people today.' He said.

'He looks like he's just sleeping.' I whispered. A weak smile crossed my lips.

'I know this is hard.' He said.

I shook my head, 'it's not, because this is a mistake.'

'Pepper.' He began.

I turned to look at him, 'he's not dead, I just know he's not.'

Steve frowned, he looked back at me.

'I'm not going through some form of denial, or shock, I know Tony, and I know he's not dead, this isn't,' I cleared my throat, 'this isn't that.' I felt my composure shatter, I fell apart and I couldn't stop the tears.

He rushed over to me and wrapped his arms around me, I pushed him away, 'stop, just stop, I'm so sick of being touched.' I sobbed into my hands, 'I feel like I'm being suffocated.'

He held up his hands in defence, 'I'm sorry, you're right, can I get you anything.'

I shook my head, 'no, I want to be alone with him.'

'Of course, I'll let the others know not to bother you.' He squeezed my shoulder.

I waited until I heard the door close and I let myself cry freely.

'You said you wouldn't leave me.' I cried into his chest, 'you lied to me.' I screamed at his face, I hit his chest over and over again, 'you lied to me Tony!'

I collapsed against his body, 'you lied.' I repeated over and over, I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think.

Rhodey ran through the doors, 'Pepper, it's ok, come on.' He pulled me away from Tony.

'No, no, no, this isn't real.' I cried.

'It's alright, come on.' He wrapped his arms around me. He held me in his arms, we dropped to the ground, I cried and cried but my eyes remained on Tony, his serene face and the glowing reactor.

And amongst all the chaos, the lights above us flickered ever so slightly…

Hope I have restored some faith in those who were getting a little sad :)