"Good God, driver, can you not hurry along?"
Martin of Aylesbury called impatiently from inside his coach. He couldn't wait until he was safely out of the frightening forest and well on his way to the masked ball in Nottingham Castle.
A masked ball! How thrilling! Martin couldn't recall any such splendid event happening in Nottingham, especially since Sheriff Vaisey had come to power and quelched even their most subdued entertainments, unless of course, he was trying to impress someone in power or setting a trap to capture Robin Hood.
"And I wish to God the sheriff would hurry up and capture that vicious little thieving ferret!" Martin added.
"Ferret?" came a familiar smug and highly amused voice from inside the carriage.
No, no, no! How could the outlaw have entered his coach? How? Martin nearly peed in his pants.
"This is an ambush," Robin smiled.
The coach drew to an abrupt stop as it was surrounded by outlaws.
"I think you know how this goes," Lots' voice was saying from outside the carriage, just as smugly as his master's.
"One tenth of your goods, if you please, gents," came that fast talking Allan a Dale's voice.
"So the poor can eat." Martin identified that voice as belonging to the young peasant, Scarlet.
A new voice...a female voice heavy with some exotic foreign accent next asked, "Unless you mean to resist?"
"I wouldn't advise it," Robin grinned, a hint of danger lurking behind his smile.
When the big hairy brute also appeared out of nowhere inside the coach, Martin finally did pee in his pants.
"Oh," Robin said, shaking his head as a reprimand, "Aylesbury...really." Then, perking up, he told the brute, "Whatever you take, John, just be sure it's far away from this end of the coach."
He turned and smiled charmingly at Martin. "Go ahead and take off your new doublet, Aylesbury, to spare it becoming soiled."
Martin huffed in shame and embarrassment and removed his outer clothing, leaving only his shirt and wet pants. He despised taking his doublet off! It was the most splendid garment of all the splendid clothing he had ever worn his entire life! Blast Hood!
While Little John was busy gathering what he judged to be one tenth of Martin's rich belongings, Robin began questioning Aylesbury.
"So, just where are you headed, so splendidly attired this time of night? Not Nottingham Castle, surely! Don't tell me the sheriff's hosting an entertainment."
"He is, not that it's any business of yours, Hood, you ferret!"
Robin paused, smiling broader. "About that ferret comment..."
"My lady wife came up with it, and it suits. She says she wouldn't have anything to do with you, even if you came begging! She claims it would be like having relations with a ferret! She tells me that all the time! It suits, I tell you! You're long and weaselly and furry like a ferret!"
Robin chuckled, fingering the whiskers on his throat while exchanging a look of chagrined amusement with Little John. "Where is your wife, by the way?" he asked Martin.
"Home, not feeling well...not that it's any business of yours, Hood, you ferret!"
"Nice of you to leave her home alone," Robin continued, his eyes hardening perceptively. "No sense in both of you missing all the fun."
"Exactly what I told her! It's not my fault she's great with child and feeling unwell!"
Again, Robin and Little John exchanged a look. "Don't look at me," Robin jested. "You heard what he said. I'm just a ferret."
Martin, uncomprehending, continued. "Anyway, there was no way I was going to miss the masked ball at Nottingham Castle tonight! At least there wasn't until you nasty thieves burst into my private coach, causing me to soil my pants! I can't go now!"
"Masked ball!" Robin repeated, his eyes twinkling with fun. "That doesn't sound like Vaisey! What's the occasion, Aylesbury?"
"How should I know? I'm not privy to the sheriff's plans! More to the point, why should you care? The sheriff's hardly going to invite you to attend, Hood!"
Robin edged closer, then stepped away when he recalled Martin's "accident."
"Well, who has he invited, Aylesbury? And why?"
"I told you I don't know...other than some foreigners he wants to impress. Lusignans...something like that."
"Guy?" Robin asked in amazement. "Guy de Lusignan is here?"
"That's the one...and his wife, Lady Sybille. She is said to be a great beauty. I was hoping against hope to impress her by my splendid dress and my elegant dancing, but now..." Martin choked back a sob.
"John," Robin ordered, "hand me that doublet." Turning to Martin he asked, "So, where's your mask, Aylesbury?"
"Why do you care?"
"Because I am going to take your place at the party!"
Little John lifted heavy brows and looked at his leader inquisitively.
Martin uttered objections. "You can't! You cannot wear my finery!"
"You didn't soil it, did you?" Robin lifted the doublet and held it to his nose, inhaling deeply. "Good...it appears to have escaped the flood. Now, John," he continued, addressing his second-in-command as he replaced his hooded outer garment with Aylesbury's golden brocade doublet, "put my clothing on him and let his men mistake him for me. Lead him into the forest, take back my clothing, and let him go."
"Robin...?" Little John asked, suspiciously.
Robin grinned, pleased with himself and his plan. "The sheriff's planning something, and if Lusignan's here, it can't be good. I know Guy de Lusignan, John. We fought together at Acre, but he grew jealous and turned against King Richard. My fear is he's here to plot with Vaisey against the king. I need to go to the party and uncover what they're up to. Whatever it is, I intend to stop it."
Comprehending, Little John grunted approval.
Besides, Robin thought to himself, Marian was sure to be in attendance at the ball. With a mask to hide him, he hoped he could continue to charm her.
She was the priceless treasure he had given up so many years ago, but he wouldn't lose her a second time! He only needed to win her back, and what better place than at a masked ball? He adjusted Martin's mask over his face, and settled back in the coach, laughing under his breath as Little John pushed a terrified Martin of Aylesbury into the forest.
"Drive on," Robin called, mimicking Martin's nasally tones. "The dastardly outlaws have gone."