Tony held his stylus between his fingers, smacking it back and forth on the desk nonstop, much to Bruce's annoyance. Dr. Banner looks up from his lab station and glances at Tony.
"Tony, could you stop that noise? It's distracting."
"Oh sorry. I was just thinking."
"Obviously not about the equations in front of you. What is it?"
"I won't rest until I get Big Bird back for what he did, and that spandex wearing poster boy too. You know, Cap pretends to be a good little boy scout, but he's really evil under all that nauseating charm and integrity. I just knew it."
Bruce rolls his eyes and sighs. "Tony, don't be melodramatic and lighten up will you? It was just a prank. Just like when Natasha had Clint shave Thor's hair, which you loved by the way. Just like how you willingly suggested Thor get Clint back with that Cupid Spell. You got the jewels off your suit and everything is back to normal. So let it go?"
"No can do. Have I told you how I hate when people touch my stuff?"
"Repeatedly."
"Well there's nothing worse than those two idiots touching my suits! So every single day I've been trying to devise the most ingenious plan ever to get the both of them back. I've got ideas but I need to have Jarvis dictate a list of supplies… "
" 'Every single day?' 'List of supplies?' Tony it's been a week already. They both have probably forgotten by now. Why not just settle for something simple so you can get it over with?"
"Simple? I've never done simple before. Why, what do ya got for me?"
"Itching powder."
"Itching powder?"
"Yes, itching powder. You can make it yourself here in the lab if it's not complicated enough for you just to purchase it."
Stark scoffs. "No offense, Bruce, but isn't itching powder a little old school?"
"Well, Captain Rogers is old school. I'm sure he'll appreciate the sentiment."
Tony meets Bruce's sly gaze and finally cracks into a mischievous smile of his own. "JARVIS, when is part two of our Eval. scheduled again?"
"This Friday at noon, sir."
"Perfect."
It's almost a repeat of the former week in the armory common room. Half the group was already present in full gear, even Tony minus the sparkly jewels. This time around, Natasha and Clint walk in wearing civilian clothes.
"Sorry we're late. " Clint apologizes.
Tony looks surprised to see Barton. "What is he doing here? He's supposed to be changing back there!"
"Well I would have been!"
"Stark, one of your elevators got stuck. JARVIS had to reboot the system before we got moving again. End of story." Natasha explains.
Before anyone could say anything else, Steve entered wearing his suit, but he couldn't stand still for one moment because he was scratching furiously.
"Guys, I… I think I'm allergic to something. I can't stop scratching. "
"Cap! You're red all over, what happened?" Natasha walks over to examine Steve.
"I don't know. I grabbed my suit from the display and put it on and now… uhh it itches so bad. I don't think I can stand it. I gotta get it off!"
"Is this a form of your Midgardian illnesses perhaps?" Thor asks in obvious worry.
"I doubt Steve can get sick anymore. It does look like some sort of hives though. Dr. Banner what do you think. Uh, Bruce?" Clint turns to find Bruce whose shoulders are trembling in quiet laughter. Tony of course is by his side looking mighty cocky.
"Well well, Captain Itchy Pants. I hope you learned your lesson about touching other people's suits."
"What the hell did you do to me, Stark!?" Steve asks in a panicked voice.
"I made my own concoction of itching powder and thoroughly powdered the inside of your spangly suit. Note, I even did your gloves which is probably why your hands are on fire right now. Oh and Hawkfeathers, you're lucky you were late because I had some of the stuff waiting in your uniform as well."
"What!?" Clint looks horrified.
Bruce eyes Steve warily and finally decides to put an end to things before he could start making himself bleed.
"I think you maybe put too much in, Tony. What was the approximate strength on that stuff you created?"
"Don't know, never tested it." Tony shrugs.
Clint's eyes widened, "Seriously? And you were gonna do this to me too!?"
"Okay, doesn't matter. Steve let's get you out of this suit and into a shower and I'll get you some soothing ointment to stop the reaction." Dr. Banner leads a still frantically scratching Captain Rogers out of the room.
"Well, that was satisfying." Tony says, finally losing the maniacal gleam from his eye.
"You're freaking crazy, Stark! If you permanently blister Captain America , Fury will never let you hear the end of this!" Clint snaps.
"Just like he wouldn't shut up about the atrocity you two had done to my suit! Iron Man could not be taken seriously in pink and purple!"
"At least you didn't have birds chirping and harps playing every time you fired your suit during target practice."
"No, I had glittering fairy dust!"
"Guess we'll be late for eval." Is the only thing Natasha announces during their shouting match as she glances at her watch.