Sorry not sorry that this chapter is so abnormally short. I just wanted to leave it on a cliffhanger. Also, I'm not really sure how to describe Hell, since it's different for everyone, you know? So if you have any suggestions or ideas, I'd love to hear them!

AND AND AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVELY REVIEWS LAST TIME! Especially from PandaPuppet and WonderFilledNight, who have been reviewing for so long and honestly just keep inspiring me every time I read them! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara, though I have to admit the whole Fanfiction part doesn't really pop up much this chapter.

~Crimrose

Chapter XVII

Into the Void

Since the very first moment I saw him, Lee had established a link to my past that even I did not know of, one that had possibly been kept from me. When he caught a glimpse of me down the apartment lobby's hallway, he'd called out what I had thought to be my father's name- an honest mistake, considering I could have been his double if not for a few certain attributes. Throughout the time I'd known him, he'd been both hot and cold toward me, sometimes treating me like he treasured me, and others like he wanted nothing more to be rid of me. He told me I reminded him of someone he knew. He gave me the mask on Halloween that had stopped the imp from making me into its prey. Even though we were perfect strangers, he'd given me rides to places, eaten lunch with me, taken care of me. All that time, I thought it was because he was abnormally nice, or maybe because he knew my dad and was helping me because of him.

Never would I have guessed that we were related. If his story was to be believed, anyway.

"I hope you realize," I began, my voice hoarse yet profoundly empty, "that you aren't making any sense. You told me your name was Lee, and now its Lecariel, son of the Devil? And you're my uncle? My dad never even mentioned siblings, let alone the fact that I was a half-demon hybrid."

"There are various reasons why we couldn't give you the whole truth," he sighed exasperatedly, running a hand through his long black bangs. There was something about him that had me absolutely convinced that he'd been putting on an act this whole time, and not because of the story he'd just told me. It was because of how at ease he seemed, how comfortable he was in his own skin now that he didn't have a part to play and was just laying himself bare along with the truth. He was never the nice guy he had me fooled into thinking he was; he was a demon, an unholy creature in service of the Devil himself, and every myth and legend out there gave me reason to believe that they were anything but nice. "But I seriously doubt you want to hear them. Let's start with names. I go by Lee Carceon here because demon names hold power; if a human knows a demon's true name, they can summon them and allegedy get them to do their bidding. That's why we create aliases, and why we don't give them out to anyone. Your father chose to go by Gabriel- a pretty bad joke on his part- and randomly chose the family name of Hisayuki, since demons don't have family names to begin with. We've had to change our names many times over, since we've been alive for..." He trailed off, seeing the apprehensive look on my face at the mention of how many years my father had been alive as an immortal, and instead just shrugged. "Anyhow, yes, I am the son of 'the Devil', though other demons tend to refer to him as 'His Majesty'. As was your father, and so that makes you the Devil's grandfather, and me your uncle." His head titled to one side, his neon green eyes alight with their iridescent blue ring, and I swore I saw glittering humour within them. "Do you understand now?"

"Don't patronize me," I spat, frantically looking away from his devouring eyes. "What makes you think I believe any of this? I can swallow the fact that I'm not entirely human; I've gotten more than enough proof for that. But the rest of it seems to fit together a bit too perfectly."

He smiled widely at me, showing me pointed incisors sliding into the corners of his mouth. "If you don't believe me, ask yourself." He jerked his head to my right, which was where the girls were floating nervously nearby. "Or rather, realizations of yourself."

With an aching slowness, I turned to look at my three Shugo Chara, possibly the only three people in the whole world I thought I could trust. They'd always been hiding something from me, telling me to wait "just a bit longer" before I learned the answers to all of my questions. They met my gaze head-on with glossy-eyed ones of their own, and despite their stature, they seemed so monumental and vicious in that moment that I couldn't stand to look at them. "You knew all this time," I said, not questioning but not accusing either. "You knew what I was, and you didn't tell me. You hid everything you could until I was ripping myself apart."

"We did it for you," Satsuki murmured, though it came out garbled and gruff from her throat being scratchy from crying.

"How could you say that?" I laughed bitterly, feeling like I wasn't even myself, but instead just observing the scene as a third party.

"You already thought you were crazy," Vivian continued for her sister, her rabbit torn apart from her clawing at it in distress. "We didn't need to tell you about being a half-demon to only make it worse. You finally thought you found a place where you belonged, and we didn't want to take that from you. Lee approached us when we were first born and told us that he planned to tell you everything one day, and that we had to keep everything a secret until then so that you didn't lose yourself before then. But it already started, when we were separated for the first time."

"What are you talking about, 'losing myself'? I'm pretty sure I've been lost since the day I was born."

"True as that may be," Lee cut in, finally expressing some of the seriousness I believed the situation called for. "We're talking about how your demon side's been calling to you. That voice that you keep hearing in your head, that makes you feel like you're being split in two?" My mouth open and closed like a blubbering fish, and he waved me off before I could respond. "Yeah, that's a pretty accurate description, considering that's exactly what's happening. I told you that half-demons were either killed when they were born, or that they destroyed themselves. The human and demon sides are constantly raging war inside of you, and are literally tearing you apart from the inside, which is why you always start bleeding right after you hear the voice. The body you're in is a cheap imitation, and you subconciously long to just let go of your consciousness, to shed your skin into what truly lies beneath."

"That can't be true," I muttered, stunned. "It only started once I came here. I would have felt something like that before."

"I think it has something to do with the environment," he said slowly, as if he himself was testing the words to see if they felt right. "Like I said, no half-demon has lived long enough to be studied so that we know what to expect. But I think it's because this city is filled with far more demons than possibly any other place, and that might be calling to your demon side. You don't want to be in your vulnerable state around all of the enemies surrounding you." When he glanced at me and caught my expression, he grinned, bemused. "What, you couldn't sense it? I also told you that Glaziel and I created a paradise for misfit demons a long time ago." He stepped back and spred his arms as wide as his demonic grin, and crowed, "Behold, Akutestu! Known as the Lost City, since no one can find it unless they are looking for it. I am the mayor of this place- which was my position on the 'city council', by the by- so I screen everyone that comes in and out, and make sure that this is a safe haven where humans can live in blissful ignorance alongside the creatures of nightmares they so fear."

Never before had I been so stricken by someone's words. Not even when it was established that I was some weird hybrid that the world basically scorned and drove to extinction, but that might have been because I already had a slight inkling that I wasn't human to begin with. In all honesty, I blamed some of the changes I was going through on the fact that I'd moved to a new place, but it never even occurred to me that this was like a haven for demons on Earth. How could it, when I didn't even know they existed in the first place? But what exactly did that mean for the normal people, like the Guardians and Easter? "What about the humans that live here?" I asked, and one could finally hear the terror leaking into my voice like melting ice.

"Not in any particular danger," he said ostentatiously. "It's not like Glaziel and I intended to keep them here as livestock or anything. This was originally a city just for demons, way back when, but humans who were on the run from war, political struggles, and all the other problems humans cooked up found this place because they were looking for a 'safe haven'. From there they mated and whatnot, forming the families you see here today, who lived all those years without any idea that demons lived by their sides. Of course, there are minor discrepancies," he chuckled, shaking his head. Without his mane of darkness secured in a ponytail, it was obscenely long, and he shook it like he was in a damned L'Oréal commercial. "Most of which you've seen. Those cursed imps have no means of self-control and go and take whatever they want, and so they went after you believing that His Majesty would appreciate you as a sacrifice." His eyes rolled to the top of his head, and came to rest back down on me. "Idiots. It's really pitiful how desperate they are for favour from him, for more power. Disgusting, really." Right then was when I figured out that he was the asshole of all demons. He was the Devil's son, and the brother of the (deceased) ruler over 'Stiriacus', which I assumed gave him some leverage. As much as Lee preached about humans being pitiful and dumb, he sure acted like one who had too much power on their hands, bragging about it and preaching about how much lesser other demons were.

"Additionally," he said, holding up his fingers as he counted off what incidents I'd been involved in. "When I was driving you to that concert-" I twitched, because some part of me was still convinced that this wasn't real, that this creature in front of me wasn't Lee. But if he remembered that, he was either a very experienced stalker, or he was telling the truth. "You heard on the radio of two teenagers with bite marks on their necks, and then some time later actually found a victim while you were with that human kid." That one made me do a double-take, struggling to remember what exactly he was identifying, then I realized that by 'human kid' he meant Ikuto. That would have been funny if I were in any other situation, since Ikuto always seemed so much more mature than me and Lee was talking about him as if he were still a toddler. Which, considering the possibility of his age, was pretty close to the reality of the situation. Now that I hhad that in my mind, I also had that haunting memory of the woman with her skin so ghastly pale she looked like nothing more than bone, with the stream of red flowing from the two puncture wounds in her neck. I exhaled a shaky breath when I though of how often that might have happened when no one else noticed, of how the people in this city were being treated like playthings and food despite Lee's assurance that they weren't.

"Was it a vampire that did that?" I asked quietly, my hands clenching and unclenching into sweaty fists.

He nodded, though his expression was twisted up into displeasure. "As much as I dislike it, yes, it was. Vampires aren't even technically demons- they are just humans that were infected with a particularly nasty disease carried here by the air from Hell. Their hearts are transformed by said disease into viruses that make their own blood rotten and force them to live off of others." Suddenly his disgusted expression was exchanged for one of childish glee, one that I did not trust in the slightest. "I don't like even thinking about them, but if you want to know more, you could ask that friend of yours."

I frowned, the sides of my mouth turning into deep parentheses. "What friend are you talking about? I don't have a lot of those, and I'm certain that the ones I do are all human."

"Really." He sounded absolutely unconvinced. "Even the one that bled in front of you, and you saw that their blood was not red, but black?" My head reared back in confusion. "You know, the one that never changes their expression. I think you know two, actually- that one and their caretaker. They visited me when they wanted to become citizens of Akutetsu, said they had nowhere else to turn after their town was completely razed. I think it was two teenagers, a guy and a girl, and one adult? Is this ringing a bell at all?"

After receiving that description, faint bells of familiarity were tinkling in my head, but I couldn't exactly place who he was talking about. I tried to remember when I saw someone bleed here, and the only times I could really remember were when I found Ikuto in the alleyway, and after Isabelle the Wonder Snake talked to me the first time and Deryn-

"Ah, judging by the look on your face, you've got it," he cheered, lightly applauding me despite my growing dismay and nauseous gut. "I think the girl had golden hair- that was the one thing I remember about her. She reminded me of that girl trapped in the tower in the human fairy tale, only made out of stone. She was a relatively new vampire, I believe, not even a year old, but the older man had been around for a century or so. The weird thing about them was that they were carting around a human boy like a teddy bear they couldn't bear to part with!" He laughed, his companion joining in easily, and I was beginning to get convinced that she never stopped laughing at the terrors in life. "Bizarre kids, they were. Anyway, that day you found the woman bleeding out was because of the girl. Since she's still pretty new, she's not exactly careful with her prey. The couple on the radio was also her doing. That reminds me, I really need to have a talk with her caretaker about keeping a better eye on her."

Lee kept rambling on about the list of things he had to do to control the demon affairs within the city, but I was barely listening. I was trying to make sense of the fact that he was telling me that Deryn Sivas was a vampire. Judging from the way he said she had a caretaker, that could only mean Professor Kenneth- and he was one, as well. I remembered when I was at school on Halloween, on how he'd dressed up his face to be stereotypically vampirical with slicked back hair and a widow's peak, how real his fangs had seemed to me. When I'd gone out to retrieve a broom to sweep up the broken flower vase, he'd told me to be careful, that some things couldn't wait to get a taste of me. With a sweeping realization that literally knocked me to the ground, completely breathless and miffed, I realized he was talking about himself. He was the one who wanted to get a taste of me. The human boy the two of them were always around could only be Will, and what was a perfectly nice and sociable guy like him doing with two vampires? Memories of how he and Deryn looked at each other sometimes, of how they were never apart, rolled around in my mind like a snowball picking up speed, and I realized that part of the reason they were joined at the hip could have been because Deryn was a vampire. Will seemed far too kind a guy to not be with someone he loved just because of something like that; he tended to act on impulse, and might have made it his mission to stay by her side. Thinking of it that way made me suddenly feel unbearably lonely, and even envious of the love they had despite their difference in species. Which of course made me realize that I could never have that. I could never fall in love with someone, and no one could fall in love with me when I didn't belong in any world.

"You aren't even listening to me anymore," Lee snapped, jerking me out of the hole I'd dug myself into. "But I guess I did get carried away, so it doesn't really matter. You're probably wondering why we had to kidnap you to tell you the truth, but you know yourself pretty well. Well enough to know I'd been right to assume you'd never come with me willingly or listen to a word I had to say if I didn't force you to." The fact that he knew me well enough to assume completely correctly made me trust him even less, as a matter of fact. "I'd wanted to tell you the truth since the day my brother died- but unfortunately, I couldn't find you anywhere after child services got a hold of you. I'd actually begun to think you might have been dead when you showed up in my hotel's lobby, looking so much like Glaziel I swore he'd come back to life right in front of me." All traces of his humour and cheer had vanished when he started talking about my father, his mouth drawn into a tight line, the corners of his eyes wrinkled in something that I would have thought was pain if he hadn't told me that demons couldn't feel such a thing. "But of course he didn't, because when a demon dies, they just aren't. There's no soul to be redeemed or reincarnated, no hope to awaken from the eternal slumber. So as soon as I realized that it wasn't him but you I was seeing, I resolved to tell you everything- after I gave you a test of my own, which I suppose you passed, albeit slowly."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded, then considered my words. Was it wrong to say 'what the hell' now that I knew that was where he- and half of my lineage- came from? It felt almost like I was cursing. When I thought of lineage, I recalled my Shugo Chara telling me of a secret race that my father and I hailed from after the whole imp-kidnapping incident, and only then realized that they were talking about demons- specifically, the demons from Stiriacus, which sounded like they did tend to have white hair and blue rings in their eyes.

"I think you know," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're a lot smarter than your average human, since demons have a far larger learning capacity than any human does. Your instincts are pretty spot-on. Though I suppose I could help you out a bit." He jerked his head towards his companion, who only got my full attention right then, and when she reached up in the same gesture he had moments ago to remove her mask, I was only a little bit surprised to see Isabelle's face beneath it.

The Isabelle that I knew at the beginning never existed, just as my friendly neighbour Lee never had. She looked as she did the last time I saw her, with gleaming scales covering her face and her eyes merely black sockets with a red spot of light gleaming in them. She was grinning widely, her dry reptilian mouth splitting at the corners, slim fangs protruding like deadly knives sticking out from her skin.

"I believe you've met Isabelle," Lee smiled, though it was absolutely condescending and mocking me. "Though I think she's put you through enough that you can know her true name. Snowrenrie-" he sent spiders skittering down my spine by saying my name, which was evidently the same as his late mother's, "-this is Ivalthea, a serpent demon who was in service of His Majesty until she was pawned off to me. I had her infiltrate your little group of mortal 'friends' and observe you and your behaviour, and she determined that you are a solid combination of both human and demon, though the human side is more dominant. And I'd like to excuse her atrocious behaviour today, but we had to know how well your body dealt with injuries that could potentially kill a human. That was the test, and you did pass, since your body healed up even though the knife was removed- which you should never do with an actual human, by the way, since the knife keeps all the blood inside. Since you'd passed that test today, I figured that there was no time like the present to tell you the truth, and here we are." He smiled at me again, fangs of his own slipping over his bottom lip. Even though he'd been talking for quite some time, he did not make any move to sit down if his legs were tired, and he never fidgeted or shifted his weight. He was like a statue come to life, his movements precise and calculated and never faltering, which I supposed was another benefit of being a full-fledged demon.

"You have taken in a lot of information tonight," Ivalthea said to me in her hissing voice, which was a much lower pitch and more womanly than girly. "You may be struggling to believe it all right now, but once you are alone and have time to process it, we trust you will come to realize that everything we have told you is the absolute truth." I felt tempted to snort, despite the fact that she was technically right. The more I thought and processed everything I'd been told, even though it seemed completely insane and surreal, the more I came to believe it. Maybe it was so easy just because I needed something to believe, some slightly solid foundation of truth that might have been built on lies, but was there to keep me from descending into madness all the same.

"However, we aren't letting you go just yet," Lee snickered, and judging from the mischievous look on his face, he was planning something that I knew I wasn't going to enjoy. "Even though you've learned a lot, we still have one more thing we'd like to show you. Then we'll return you to your warm bed, where you can lie awake until dawn because you're too afraid of the dark to sleep." He stroked his chin thoughtfully, which lead me to notice his fingernails- or maybe claws was a more apt word. They were long and sharpened to an almost triangular point, and did not have a sandy colour to them as human nails did, but were instead a glittering silver that glinted like blades in the moonlight. "That's another thing we'll have to fix- you can't be afraid of the dark when it's one of the primary elements that comprise your being. But we'll get into that more later. For now, we have somewhere to be."

"Where is that?" I asked, my voice riddled with doubt and mistrust.

His grin was pure demon, no trace of the Lee I thought I knew left. "Home."

I made the mistake of thinking that, despite what he had just said, he was in fact taking me home to my apartment. But then it hit me that he was talking about his home. The concept of the Hell he described was still unbelievable to me. I'd been under the impression that Hell was the place where sinful souls went after they died to repent, which was more of a standard set by media than actual religion. "How can I go there?" I challenged, narrowing my eyes. "I'm not dead, and I'm not even a full demon."

His face contorted into a snarl, his eyes flashing full black for the briefest second. "Hell is not where you go when you die," he hissed, sounding more like Ivalthea than he probably would've cared to admit. "When you die, you just aren't. Humans may be reincarnated, but that does not mean their souls are kept in some flaming chamber of eternal torment until they've sweated off all their sins. Granted, sometimes human souls are captured by demons and thrown into the darkness to become demons themselves, but that's hardly the same thing as what humans believe Hell to be." Oh, right, completely different. I could not believe how defensive he was being, like a woman that had just been ordered to go make a sandwich. I supposed that, no matter where you came from, if someone spoke ill about your home, you weren't going to be too pleased about it. Even if that home was created from a void and housed a hellish (ha) amount of demons.

"Why are we going there?" I asked, more to stall him than because I was actually curious. Even if I still was having a hard time believing what they were saying, the fact that they thought they knew that every word was true scared me the most. And if they said they were taking me to Hell, they meant it. They were going to drag me down into some alleged underground kingdom of demons for some godforsaken reason, when I knew nothing about why or how we were going there. Despite the fact that Lee had just lectured me on how wrong the human interpretation of Hell was, it was still filled to the brim with creatures of nightmares that had been confirmed to eat people- which, I thought with a tremor, included Deryn and Professor Kenneth.

Lee did not even bother to grace me with an answer; he just grinned and grabbed me by the back of my nightgown and began to drag me through the woods, the damp grass staining my legs green. The ice that locked my legs together made them feel far heavier and more painful to have dragged around, the weight of it trying to remain stationary and effectively rip them off. I tried not to give any indication I was in pain, since he probably wouldn't be too concerned; in fact, he might lecture me on what I should be able to take, being a half-demon and all.

Half-demon. The term was so foreign, so apart from my life. At least, it used to be. I'd read about it in some books, seen some animes about it, but actually being it was so completely different and surreal. I wasn't all human, which I had figured out on my own, but still made me terrified all the same. Half of my life had been kept from me, which made half my life a lie. He'd called me a hybrid, like I was some sick, unnatural combination of animals- which I supposed I was. That made me feel disgusted. By myself. I'd never really hated myself, even after all that had happened. I wasn't mean, I might have been weird but not bad-looking, and I was pretty average in terms of grades and everything I had thought mattered. But now I felt repulsed when I thought about what I was. If I tried to tell the Guardians, my family, or anyone the truth, they'd feel the same way. My Shugo Chara had been trying to sever my connection with them- albeit indirectly- to keep me from feeling hurt if they ever got too freaked out about me and left me. I knew the Guardians weren't just your average people; they were different, and knew a little bit about not being entirely normal. They were nice enough to accept me for who I was. So was Ikuto, even though we were enemies, and Utau had accepted me as her own enemy (for whatever reason) without ever criticizing who I was.

But this was different. No matter how nice or accepting they were, this was dealing with some nasty, unnatural stuff. It was dangerous. And if what Lee and Ivalthea said was to be trusted, I was actually tearing myself apart from the inside every breath I took. That was a whole new level of self-destruction, something they most likely thought they'd never have to deal with. I was truly at a loss for what to do with myself. I was being dragged to Hell by a man who called himself my uncle so he could 'show me something', but then what? Would I just return to my everyday life, odd as it had become? Would I confront my mother- who had actually been right in accusing me of taking my father away- then go home and carry on with my life?

I couldn't do that. I didn't know what I could do at all. Things were never going to be the same, and it was more than likely that I wouldn't die at the same time as everyone around me. Sometimes I used to tell myself to live every day like it was my last- thinking that encouraged me to go across the world to meet the woman who had tried to kill me. Life used to be so short, and now I was having immortality shoved in my face? Most people might have been ecstatic to know that they wouldn't have to die for an indiscernible amount of time, but the idea was so abstract to me, and all I could think of was that I'd never be able to run from the mistakes I made in life. I'd have to watch everyone I cared about die. My Shugo Chara would disappear, as well, before long- then what would I have? What would my life become?

Though that was still pretty far in the future, I was certain I'd never have an answer. I used to just be Snow Hisayuki, the slightly Albino-looking girl who had a weird thing for cats and was scared of horror and the supernatural. Now I just wasn't. I was something else, something inhuman and wrong.

Lee came to a sudden halt, his grip on my wrist loosening. I would have rubbed it tenderly from his deathgrip if I hadn't thought he'd scorn me and call me weak, true as that might have been (but it was the last thing I needed to hear then, okay). I was lying down on the ground in a slip of a nightgown, staring up at the midnight blue sky that was shot with twinkling lights that reminded me of a certain someone. Before I could take the time to relish in that moment of peace, in the silence that came with the coming of winter and Ivalthea finally shutting up, Lee was lifting me up from my armpits and dragging me gently to sit me up against the trunk of a wiry tree. After all he had said, about me being an abomination, a very blunt 'eff you' to God, he was handling me gently, dusting off my legs and hair. He had said he cared about me, that he wanted to raise me as his own, and I'd seen the affection in his eyes. How could he, a demon who very honestly told me about his lack of emotions, even feel that way, especially after I was the cause of his brother's death? As if he read my mind, he smiled at me, an almost human quirk of his mouth, and ruffled my hair before he turned away.

"As much as you may like to, I'd suggest not moving from that tree," he said, lifting his hand to shuffle in his pants' pocket. "It's a special one that'll protect you while I open the door to get there."

It was useless to ask any questions by that point, so I was compliantly silent for a few crashing beats of my heart before I found myself asking anyway, "What's so special about this tree?"

"It is a rowan tree," Ivalthea answered for him in her hissing voice while he drew what looked to be a fancy pocket knife out from his pants. "They have long been said to ward against malevolent beings and spirits. People used to carry around its crimson berries for protection, and make staffs from its hardy wood. Normally they are native to the Northern Hemisphere," she chimed, swinging her head eerily from side to side, hearing a tune no one else could, "but in a city made of nothing but magic, it does not really matter. It is the only one of its kind here, so if you ever feel like you are in danger from one of our kind, it would be in your best interest to come here or carry around something from it."

"Also some iron to keep the faeries away," Lee grunted, busy with some cumbersome task I couldn't see past Ivalthea standing in front of me. "We're gonna have to equip you with a lotta stuff if we're gonna be keeping you safe."

"Why would you do that?" I asked him, genuinely confused. "I'm the reason my dad died, and I'm only half-demon. You yourself said no one likes me too much."

He paused for a moment and looked back at me with a melancholy smile on his face. "You're my niece," he murmured. "And it seems my father's holiness has rubbed off on me, as well as my brother. As much as I like to think, I'm not all bad. Just a whole lot more evil than Glaziel. But family's family, even if the whole world's against you." I was almost touched for a moment before he said, "So long as you do as I say." Despite myself and the chaos ensuing within me, I found myself grinning wryly, which was perhaps proof that I had completely gone off the deep end. It was just that, within such a short amount of time, Lee was an absolute stranger to me all over again, but I could already throw out guesses as to how he would act or the things he would say. Maybe it was because I knew all I needed to. Maybe it was because I'd seen and read my fair share of things regarding demons and the supernatural. Who knew.

Ivalthea was clearly getting bored and impatient: she had begun to tap her foot against the decaying ground, humming yet another oddly cryptic tune. Her eyes darted everywhere at once, a frightened chameleon checking its surroundings, which especially looked strange because it wasn't what was universally recognized as eyes that moved; it was just the little red glows within her sockets changing directions. It didn't take me too long to get incredibly uncomfortable just watching her, so I tilted to the side slightly to see what Lee was doing. Turned out not to be any less creepy; he was examining the knife he'd drawn from his pocket, drawing the flat side of the blade along his fingers. It was marked with strange, swirling engravings that resembled ivy crawling up a steel surface, but they glowed as if a fire was being stoked within the blade itself. I figured that it must have been some sort of demon knife, but before I could think of anything to say, he had thrust it into the air.

Just when I had thought things couldn't get any more insane. I collapsed back against the tree, a bad move in hindsight from the way the bark scratched up my bare back exposed by my nightgown, and turned my head to the side to scrutinize my Shugo Chara. They were sitting right next to me on the ground, biting their nails, twirling their hair. They were nervous, as they probably should have been. Some maternal instinct within me just wanted to pull them close and reassure them that everything would be okay, that I still cared about them and nothing changed how grateful I was to them. But that just reminded me of something else that didn't make any sense: if I was a half-demon, half of the embodiment of 'evil' and 'darkness', why did they exist? They were made of dreams and hopes, the most pure and untainted kind of ideal in this world. So how did an abomination like me come to have them? I felt as though I didn't deserve to have them, being what I was. And yet they were still there, still staying beside me when I felt like they should have disappeared by now. As contrary as it was, I was still thankful that they were there, even if they had kept something extremely important from me. Their existence was confirmation that I couldn't be all bad, as Lee and Ivalthea claimed to be. At first, the differences between us had made me feel ostracized, unwelcome. Now I was almost relishing in them, because I had never been overcome with the desire to eat someone, or to wreak havoc and bring chaos. That had to mean something.

When they caught me staring at them, I spontaneously decided to act like a petulant child and swivel my gaze back to Lee only to see what could have been the most bizarre thing yet. Where he had thrust the knife into the air seemed to be some sort of... rip. Like he had literally cut away a layer of reality. He continued sawing down said tear, leaving the scene of the forest behind him to flap to and fro in the autumn breeze like a fold of human skin. It was so unreal and preposterous, like the world was made from paper instead of physical substance. Only the weight of the ice on my legs could completely affirm for me that I wasn't dreaming. Had he basically just cut peeled the wallpaper of the world off? It was as though the forest behind him was only painted on, an imitation of real scenery, and had begun to curl away. All I could see from within the tear was darkness, but a gentle wind was flowing through, carrying a sharp, almost metallic scent, like pennies. Or blood.

"All set," Lee said, clearly pleased with his handiwork and my reaction. "Come on, then."

What was I supposed to say? 'Oh yes, dear Uncle, please take me to the depths of Hell so I can meet all of the growling demons who despise my very existence!'? Well, if that's what he wanted, he wasn't getting it. Even though I knew it was futile- heck, I even knew it was just plain stupid- I tried to become one with the tree behind me by shoving myself into its trunk until I could feel the separate plains of bark ingraining themselves on my skin. The one time I tried to summon my ice powers (apparently demon in nature) was the one time they chose not to manifest, for while I was sitting there, gritting my teeth and trying to physically force something out, nothing would come.

Lee looked completely exasperated. "I won't let anything hurt you," he promised, sounding genuine. "There's something there you really need to see. From the test we gave you, you should be completely fine with the climate. I mean, look-" he gestured all around us "-it's well below zero right now, and you don't feel a thing. You're more like us than you'd care to admit."

If he'd meant that as a compliment, the opposite effect was achieved. I didn't want to be some inhuman thing that was rejected by everyone. Who would? I just wanted to be normal, with good friends who I could tell everything to, with parents I could go home to after all was said and done, with someone to even have a crush on. But I knew I couldn't. How could I go home to New Orleans after learning about all of this? How could I face my parents? I felt trapped here, as if the city itself had grown claws and sunk them deep into my legs, as those kitsune from the Inari shrine had all those days ago. Recalling that memory reminded me of how they banished me from sacred ground, calling me a monster. I supposed I couldn't really blame them anymore.

"No more dilly-dallying," Lee growled, throwing me over his shoulder again before I could protest. I had slightly expected it that time, so I braced my stomach for impact by the time it had hit his very solid shoulder. He whipped around and strode towards the rip in the world like it was no more than an afternoon stroll, Ivalthea skipping along behind us. My Shugo Chara looked as though they were hesitating, the looks on their faces the only ones they seemed capable of anymore: remorse and despair.

"Can they come?" I asked quietly, indicating the girls.

"I don't know," Lee answered with a shrug of his shoulders that sent me up and down in shock. "Shugo Chara are a strange existence. Not demons, but not angels either. They seem to be some sort of magic humans were capable of creating all on their own. It might not be safe for them in such a... negative environment."

"But it is for me?" I asked quietly, almost as a bit of a joke. He was quiet for a beat too long, sending my stomach down a steep spiral of panic.

"Maybe," he answered, and leaped through the rift in space-time before any more words could be exchanged.

I believed it should only be possible to faint so many times in one day, especially if it's the first times you've ever fainted in your life. And yet there I was, not entirely sure where I was, yet waking up with a groggy, clogged mind. My vision was blurred, a bit of red bleeding in from the edges, and I felt like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. It wasn't long before I was choking, making my eyes water and watery red drops fall to the ground- which was pitch black and writhing around like it was made from worms.

Letting out a strangled yelp, I tried to sit up and throw myself away from the moving ground, but it was everywhere. The strangest part was that even though I was certain I was seeing it move, the ground felt solid and hard, as though it was made from smooth, polished stone. A throbbing headache beat harshly on my brain, a steady and unforgiving rock and roll drum solo, and I was grasping at my hair before long, squeezing my eyes shut and willing the feeling away.

"Looks like she's reacting more harshly than we thought she would," a deep voice grunted, sounding unimpressed. "Ivalthea, do me a solid."

Ivalthea? That name made me remember the entire exchange with Lee- my Uncle Lee- and that little snake Isabelle who turned out to be his little minion. I snapped my eyes open just in time to see her face just a breath away from mine, her lips puckered like she was just about to kiss me. I squealed and tried shoving her away, which turned into me just pushing against air and falling forward. "What the hell?" I demanded as I struggled dizzily up from the ground, remembering that saying that might be an insult but not caring in the slightest.

"A kiss from a demon takes the nausea and migraine away," Lee said heartily, laughter coming through his voice. "I would have done it, but as human standards find incest to be a taboo, I thought you might not exactly approve." What the fuck? "But it looks like you're doing better now. I thought you might be weaker to the environment your first time around. You'll get used to it with time."

As if I planned on coming back here. Ha. It took me another moment to register where 'here' was- if I was awake and in one piece, that meant that we had gone through the rip in the world and into Hell. When that realization struck me, fear resonated throughout my entire body, my heart being one plucked string on an instrument and sending vibrations all through me. Although the fear was there, so was the curiosity. This was the Hell so many had wrote and talked about all through history. It was the real thing, and it was where part of me came from, where my father and uncle were from. So while I was terrified and still admittedly feeling ill from the 'environment' or whatever, I forced my head up and my eyes to open to see the world that so many had described.