How can I finish off a fun story without a nice epilogue chapter? Inspired once again by a comment Special Agent Ali made to me, I present an epilogue featuring Fury's reaction to the Avengers' recent shenanigans.
The Avengers were all anxiously seated in the SHIELD conference room, each one wondering why Nick Fury had called for an impromptu meeting. Finally the door opened and Fury himself strides in looking as stern faced as ever. He walked to the head of the table, standing before it with hands clasped behind his back.
"I suppose you are all wondering why you're here." He began rather ominously.
Everyone looks at each other and nods in agreement.
"Then I'll cut to the chase. I am afraid it's been very obvious as of late that none of you are taking your jobs very seriously."
Captain Rogers looks surprised as he asks, "What exactly are you referring to, Sir?"
"I am referring to all of your latest hijinks. It appears that it is one ludicrous thing after another when it concerns the six of you. May I remind you all how much of a joke Performance Eval. turned into last month?" Fury asked, giving both Stark and Agent Barton accusing looks.
"And very recently I had organized and delivered a whole team for damage control outside of Stark Towers in preparation for a dire Hulk-induced emergency, only to be notified that the whole thing was a mix-up…. a confusion… a joke." Fury levels the Captain with a one-eyed glare of his own.
"Sir, I apologized again and again, but know I would have never alerted you to said emergency if Dr. Banner hadn't have lead me to believe he was losing control." Steve says with a sidelong glance at Banner.
Bruce huffs in obvious annoyance. "Well Captain, you certainly can't say you didn't deserve it after you lead me to believe for several days that you were going to direct some dreadful prank my way. I was practically a nervous wreck! "
"I only did that because you assisted Tony in contaminating my suit with itching powder." Steve argued.
"I suggested, not assisted." Bruce corrected for the umpteenth time.
"Gentlemen." Fury warns in a low voice.
"Don't pick on Bruce. He was only helping out a friend who had his suit bombarded with FAIRY DUST and PRINCESS JEWELS!" Tony interjected, oblivious to Fury's attempted interception.
Clint rolled his eyes, "I think your and Bruce's itching powder was a lot worse than me and Cap's suit bejeweling. And apparently 'assisting' a friend with a prank is only okay when it benefits you, Stark, but just not when you're the target. You were all for it when you made Nat that damned collar for my neck. Or when you talked Thor into enchanting my bows!"
"Gentlemen!" Fury says louder, losing his patience as the minutes ticked by.
Tony scoffs at Clint, "I didn't talk him into anything… it was a dare, which of course holds a lot more influence."
Thor crosses his arms and snidely adds, "Pardon me if I am wrong, but you were never once troubled with dares when you sheared my locks off during my slumber."
"Speaking of which, why are you so pissed at me over the hair thing when it was Nat who dared me to do it in the first place?!"
Natasha narrowed her eyes at Clint from across the table. "Don't you dare point fingers at me, Barton. No one forced you to do anything. Besides, what kind of dares did you expect after bringing a huge ass bottle of vodka to the game?"
Clint gasps. "So now you're blaming the alcohol!? Well aint that a load of sh…"
"ENOUGH!" Fury shouted, banging his fist on the table and causing everyone to jump.
"I don't give a damn about who started what prank because of whomever's dare. What I do care about is the reliability of this team. The world has to know that the Avengers will have their backs when trouble calls. How can anyone be assured of this when we can barely take you seriously- with all your fake emergencies, bedazzled costumes, enchanted arrows, and childish pranks?"
Steve swallows, already not liking the sound of what he was hearing. "What are you trying to say, sir?"
"I am saying that I think it's time for the Avengers to take a hiatus, to temporarily dismantle until you all can get your heads back in the game… like adults."
"Excuse me!?" Steve is the first to bolt out of his chair. "With all due respect, Sir, you just can't do that! Not after all the good we've done…all we've been through." Steve's words are quickly followed by a torrent of other complaints coming in a mile a minute.
"This does not seem at all logical or fair. You would punish jests between comrades by dissolving our team of warriors?" Thor questions, incredulously.
"I'm with the big guy. We were just playing some harmless friendly pranks on each other and just like that you are gonna put us on timeout. That isn't fair!" Tony agrees in his outrage.
Bruce looks plain disgusted when he adds, "It's ridiculous that's what it is!"
"Director Fury, you can't be serious?!" Exclaims Clint, wide eyed.
Natasha tries to reason with him. "We can be on our best behavior, Director Fury. There is no need for such drastic measures."
"Silence everyone! Not all at once." Fury scrubs his forehead to ward off an impending headache. "And I very well can do this, Captain. As for everyone else's grievances, I am dead serious and I think it's fair enough when the safety and security of this world is involved. However, it will only be temporary, and if by my discretion it is decided that you are all once again fit to rejoin the Avengers Initiative, then it will be so. This discussion is hereby over. Come in Monday, 6 AM sharp for your final debriefing. " And with that said, Fury turns and exits the room without another glance at the irritated and perplexed super heroes behind him.
When Director Fury stepped in during the last bits of Monday's debriefing, he witnessed Agent Hill reporting to a glum looking group. "Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff, though you are no longer associated with the Avengers team, you are still of course employed under the SHIELD agency and will continue to take part on missions and collect intel as your usual status implies. "
Tony nudges Steve upon noticing Fury's entrance and the Captain instantly becomes alert.
"Director Fury, we've been waiting to talk to you!"
"I had business to sort out elsewhere." Is Fury's only explanation. "That will be all Agent Hill."
Maria nods at her boss and collects whatever folders she had and leaves.
"Something you had to say to me?" Fury addresses the team again.
Captain Rogers takes in the approving glances of his fellow Avengers before stepping forward.
"We do. You may dismantle us technically, take away our title, but know we are not going to stop fighting. We aren't going to stop protecting our world. No single order from you or anyone else and certainly no contract can make this team cease working together for a cause they believe in."
Fury looks around at the other five's determined stares. "And you all feel this way?"
"Yes sir, of course."
"Most definitely, sir."
"Damn right we do!"
"I did not vow to protect Midgard only to have one mortal tell me I cannot."
"I wholeheartedly agree."
"Very well. " Utters Fury, "I have no control over what you all do in your spare time. And I won't stop you. Just understand that none of you will have SHIELD resources at your aid anymore and no more security clearances."
Tony rolls his eyes, "We'll be fine I'm sure. What I wanna know is what you guys are gonna do when some new threat rises and you find out you actually do need us to save your asses?"
"Actually, there are other heroes with special abilities on SHIELDS' radar who I believe have the potential to create a more efficient team."
"Other heroes? What heroes?" Steve presses.
"The Fantastic Four and Spiderman, just to name a few."
Tony snorts, "A couple of mutant astronauts and that kid who takes out petty thieves with silly string? Seriously?"
"It's actually called webbing…" Clint begins.
"Like it matters!" Retorts Tony.
"Regardless…" Fury starts, talking over Stark, "…of what any of you believe, I feel this new team could work out to be more than adequate enough with a little more polishing. Now if you would all excuse me. Please take a seat. I'll be sending another agent in here shortly to wrap up any loose ends Agent Hill left."
"But…" Steve begins only to have the door shut in his face.
"So, you did it." Agent Hill remarks, leaning on Director Fury's desk.
He looks away from the video feed showing the conference room he had left only moments before, "Yes, I did."
Maria cracks a slight smile. "They are on the verge of a rebellion in there, Director."
"I can see that." Fury says, sounding amused for a change.
"Are you going to let them keep believing you're replacing them?"
"Perhaps…" Fury taps the screen to zoom in on Tony Stark's current petulant expression, "Perhaps I'll let them stew in this for a while."
She chuckles at that. "They aren't going to be thrilled to find out you played them."
"Relieved maybe, but of course thrilled, not so much." Fury agrees, with a twinkle in his eye.
"I can't believe you even took my dare for face value. I was only half kidding, Director."
"Yes, I know… but I figured since they like to play at absurd pranks amongst themselves, it wouldn't hurt for them to know their Director can as well, and he trumps all while he's at it."
"Well, they're going to have a long time to sweat this one out." Maria predicts with raised brows.
"What makes you say that, Agents Hill?"
She merely shrugs and answers, "Someone always suffers once you start referring to yourself in third person."
And Fury doesn't deny this one iota as he grins into the surveillance screen before him.