***Willow Pond***
It's Wednesday afternoon.
Jonathan is waiting to hear back from Marcy what was said at the party, if anything.
He had visited Jennifer all three days of the weekend, and she seemed sadder each time.
She was less and less like herself, and more and more withdrawn and despondent, but not crying.
In Jonathan's eyes, everything hinged on what Marcy could get from Natalie. He couldn't figure out why, but he thought that maybe it was related to her husband buying the Hart Industries stock. He figured they were trying to get Jennifer out of the picture to distract Jonathan, so that Daniel could swoop in and buy the stock. But, why? There had to be a reason.
Marcy called around 5 and said she was coming over.
Jonathan told her he would be there all night.
She got there about 5:30, and Jonathan let her in the gate and then let her in the door.
"Hi".
"Hi, thanks for seeing me".
"I hope you found something".
"I think I did. Not sure what it means, but I figured you might be able to figure it out".
She sat down on the couch and started the whole story.
"So, we had the lunch at my house today. She was the first to arrive.
Everything was normal, she was chatty chatty and being super helpful. Totally not like her, but I figured what the hell, if she wants to help, let her. She was asking me tons of questions about Jennifer, and whether she had been released or not and whether she was going to plead guilty and blah blah blah. Then, she and I went and sat outside and waited for the other ladies. And I activated your recording thing and she started talking about how she just couldn't believe that sweet Jennifer would get arrested for DUI, and how lucky she was that she wasn't killed. But it was weird because every time she would say something sweet about Jennifer, she would follow it with a judgmental statement like "Karma sucks", or "She should have known her Porsche had high rollover chances".
So, after the other ladies came, I went inside to go to the bathroom. And on my bed, were all the purses. So, I snuck through hers and found that she has at least 8 ID's, and I found a bottle of Silenor. I quickly snuck and made copies of her ID's. Not sure why she would have so many identities, but she does. And the bottle of Silenor was empty, so I grabbed that too. If she says anything, I will just tell her that maybe it fell out on the floor and my maid threw it away".
He took the copies of the id's and the pill bottle to the bar, and called Stanley.
"Stanley, can you come to my house? I have a huge job for you".
"Yes sir".
"Thank you".
He hung up and went over to the couch next to Marcy.
"Anything else?"
"Nope, other than the fact that she passed out the masks again and emphasized this time to only wear it 15 minutes, and not 45".
"Will you testify for Jennifer?"
"Absolutely".
"Ok, I am going to give all of this to the DA. I think we will use your "fell on the floor" line about the pills. DA doesn't need you to stealing to complicate this case.
She nodded.
"How was Jennifer this weekend?"
"She was quiet, sad, withdrawn".
"Understandable. I wanted to go visit, but I figured you needed your time".
"I am sure she would love to see you".
Marcy nodded.
Stanley arrived shortly after, and Marcy left.
Jonathan gave her a long hug and thanked her profusely.
Stanley came inside and sat down.
"Stanley, I need you to investigate someone".
He handed him the copies of the ID's.
"Right away, Mr. Hart".
"Whatever you find, I want you to call me and let me know, ok?"
"Yes sir".
Jonathan saw Stanley out, and then went and picked up dinner to go. The weeks without her were the hardest.
He couldn't wait to visit her again. It was all he had to hold on to.
***Friday***
Jonathan signed in at the jail just before 10 a.m. He was 5th in line for visits. He went through the screening, he let them frisk him, he would walk on hot coals to see her, touch her, kiss her. Whatever it took.
They had him sit at table 4 this time, and he waited for her to come. About ten minutes later, they ushered her in.
He jumped up and threw his arms around her and kissed her a few times.
"Hi darling."
"Hi".
She seemed happy to see him.
"How you holding up?"
"Ok, I suppose. I have seen some things, but I haven't been the victim, so I guess that's good".
He nodded.
"Are you making friends?"
"Yes, I think so."
"That's good".
He swallowed.
"Darling, I have to tell you something. I think we might know who did this, but we still don't know why yet".
"Who?"
"Natalie Evans. Marcy agreed to help us, and she had the ladies over for lunch yesterday, and she said Natalie was asking about you a lot and saying some things, like "How sad for Jennifer", followed by "Karma sucks", stuff like that. So, Marcy went to her room where the ladies put their things and she found an empty bottle of the sleeping pill you were given in Natalie's bag, as well as about 10 ID's in her wallet with her picture but different names. I am having Stanley check it out."
"I have so many regrets about that day".
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I could have-should have- done so many things differently. Like eaten more, actual food, not gummy worms. Not had 3 margaritas, only had one. Called an taxi, not driven my car. You name it, I regret it".
"Well, darling, I am here to steal your regret".
"What do you mean, you are going to steal my regret?"
"I mean, I have come to steal your regret, and make you see that this wasn't your fault. Darling, this could have happened to anyone. You didn't fall asleep because of the margaritas, or because of the gummy worms. You fell asleep because of the sleeping pill, and you had the sleeping pill because you were drugged. I know you feel bad, we both do, but you gotta give yourself a break, darling, over what happened".
"But, if it hadn't happened, you and I wouldn't be in this place", she persisted. "If it hadn't happened, everything would be fine and we would be going on with our lives like we planned".
He nodded, as she continued.
"Except it did happen, and it happened to me. You can't just expect me to stop feeling bad and erase it from existence".
"I'm not trying to erase it from existence. I am trying to get you to be at peace and see that it happened to you-to us-and not because of you. I am trying to get you to see that really, nothing has changed".
"But that's just it-Everything has changed. Everything is different. Nothing is ever going to be the same any longer. The way people look at me, the way they look at you, the way you look at me-it's all changed".
"Jennifer, things were great between us-and I firmly believe they will be and can be great again, if you would just give yourself a break. And even though I know that you know this, I am going to tell you again anyways. There isn't a single thing in this world that would ever change the way I feel about you. This included. You don't give up on me, and I don't give up on you, darling. You have got to give yourself a break".
"Give myself a break? I don't deserve a break! I deserve to be miserable. I am the one who caused this, Jonathan. I took someone's life".
"Jennifer, it was an accident. You were driving, but the person who drugged you is at fault here, not you. And just because you technically caused it, that doesn't mean it has to define you. You and I can get through this, together. But you can't get through it alone. Let me help you".
"Jonathan, it's not that I don't want to be with you again. I miss the way you used to look at me, how you used to drop everything for me. I want that back, desperately. But I don't deserve it. I am just going to have to move on without it".
He stared into her eyes. He always loved her eyes.
"I am not moving on without you. If you move on, I will be right there next to you the whole time".
"You can't be, that isn't possible".
"Maybe not in the physical sense. But while you are here and I am there, you still know that I am with you in every way I can be, supporting you, and believing in you".
Tears welled in her eyes.
"Jonathan, don't you see? You are tying yourself down to something that can never be again. You should let me go and free yourself. You should find someone to be free with you".
"I don't want anyone else, I want you. Whatever that looks like, whatever that feels like, I want you. I have told you every time, that I don't want you to blame yourself. If you can't let go of your regrets on your own, then I am going to steal them from you and force you to be happy".
"You can't do that. How can I be happy? Look around. There is no happiness here."
"Happiness isn't simply found in a place, it's found inside your heart. In your mind. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
"Well, I don't feel like I am surrounded by beauty, nor do I feel like I will ever see beauty again. I am getting through this the only way I know how."
"Babe, would it be kind of me to leave you in here and abandon you? That's not our relationship and you know it. You mean more to me than you will ever know, darling".
"That's sweet. I don't deserve your kindness. I appreciate it, but I don't feel worthy of it."
"I promise you every minute I am not with you, I am thinking about you, and working for you and helping you. There is a way that you and I can figure this out, and your part is just to trust me and trust the process."
"Trust is what got us here, is it not? Or lack of, anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"You trusted me to drive home safely, I trusted me to drive home safely. Trust is something I don't deserve, not after this".
"That is all in the past. This may not be where we envisioned we would be, but we can still do everything in our power to change it, or accept it and make the best of it."
"That's easy for you to say. You get to leave here and see something different each day. I don't. I see the same things, the same people day in and day out."
"I know, and I hate that for you. I promise you I am trying to figure out how to change that for you."
"I just cannot accept the fact that if it doesn't change, this is it. This is all I will see for the rest of my life. I didn't want my life to end this way, but my choices led me here so I have no one to blame but myself".
"Our choices, not just you. I could have stopped you. I could have demanded that you call me, or call a taxi and not drive. But I didn't. I let you, and I stayed quiet. This is just as much my fault as it is yours".
"Still, I am in here and you aren't. And that isn't what I had planned for us."
She swallowed hard and squeezed his hand.
"I miss you. I miss being with you. I miss our home. I miss our friends. They all left me behind, when I came here. Except you. I hope they haven't left you behind too."
"No, they haven't. Not all of them anyways. Marcy said the other day that she wants to come see you".
Jennifer shook her head emphatically.
"I don't want her to see me this way".
"Well, she wants to see you. And she said she would testify for you at the trial".
"There may not be a trial".
"What do you mean?"
"I've been thinking about just pleading guilty".
"Why would you do that? Darling, we can fight this".
"I would do it for you".
"For me? What are you talking about?"
"You should seriously move on from me. I am deadweight for you, and I don't want to tie you down."
He squeezed her hands tight.
"Tied down to you is exactly where I want to be. Please don't shut me out-I just need a little more time to figure out how to get you and I back to where we are supposed to be."
"I don't mean to be so negative. But like I said, there isn't anything positive here. There isn't anything worth redeeming about me. I know I am supposed to learn from this, but I really don't think there is a lesson to learn in all of this. Nothing good will come out of any of this."
"Stay strong. Don't let the negative get inside your head." He hated to see her this way.
"Inside my head? It's inside my heart, my bones, my soul. It's impossible to be in this place and not have negative inside of you".
"Do you believe me when I say that I am working for you, and with you to change all of this?"
"Yes. But I also believe there isn't anything else left to do. This is it for me, this is where I shall remain for the rest of my life."
"I refuse to believe that. You might have given up, but I refuse to. And when the day comes that you leave here, whatever that may look like, I will be right here waiting for you."
"I don't deserve you".
He squeezed her hand again. "I love you, Red".
"I love you too, Jonathan Charles".
Just then an announcement came over the loudspeaker.
"Visitation is now over, please say your goodbyes and head for the door."
He stood up, hugged her and kissed her a few times, and told he loved her.
"I will be back tomorrow, promise".
She nodded, with tear-filled eyes.
He waited till they led her away, and then left himself.
Just like when he hated to say bye to her before a trip, he hated saying bye to her in here. He always waited till she was gone before he left, because he never wanted her to see him walk away from her.
He put some money in her commissary account, and then signed out and headed back to Willow Pond.
Days like this, times like this-along with every other moment of every other day-he really missed Max, and his wisdom, and their talks. Nights like this, Willow Pond seemed more empty and huge to him than ever.
He didn't care what it took- he was going to get his Red back, and he was going to fix this.