Author's Note: Aw, I really do get the most thoughtful reviews. ^^ Thanks, you guys. The conflict in this fic emerged by accident, but I didn't retract it because I thought it would be a good idea to address this concern that most Paulina critics have, that Paulina could never really love Danny because she only likes him for his ghost side and not for who he really is. Paulina isn't perfect, but that doesn't mean she's incapable of developing real feelings, and who's to say she doesn't deserve Danny just because her initial attraction to him was based on him being a ghost? Danny's initial attraction to her was based on her looks, and no one faults him for that. Initial attraction always comes down to just one thing, very often a "shallow" thing, but that only gets us so far in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. There is always something deeper that keeps our relationships going.
I would also agree that Danny is having an identity crisis, and being unable to adequately fulfill his girlfriend's requests only makes it harder. I imagine that Paulina really is more than happy with his attempts overall and is only annoyed that he can't forgive himself for his shortcomings, imagined or real. As someone who also struggles with this strong desire to never disappoint anyone, I can attest to how hard it is to overcome, but it definitely is something that must be overcome. Such an obsession with perfection really is a burden on not only yourself but others. Of course, that's not to say Paulina has no fault here. She meant no harm, but pushing her boyfriend that far out of his comfort zone when she knows that he struggles with this was inconsiderate of her.
Guest reviewer with no name, you're killing me! I would love to have a full conversation about the observations you've made in your review. But alas. Just promise you'll let me know who you are when you make an account, mmmkay? :)
Shadow Dancing
All this and nothing more
Danny set Paulina down gently on the floor of her room. Neither of them said anything for some time.
Paulina finally looked around. "I forgot to turn off my light before we left."
Danny only nodded.
Paulina wanted to hold him, touch him, but she resisted. "Are you going to leave now?"
"If you want me to."
"No, of course I don't want you to go, but it's just…you're still in ghost form."
A response ran through Danny's mind: don't you want me to be your ghost boy? But instead he willed his molecules to change so that he was human again and dressed in clothes that weren't him at all. Nothing special. Nothing that she would've wanted if human was all he was.
"So you really do want to stay?" asked Paulina.
"I'll do whatever you want me to do."
"Danny, stop that." Paulina tried to keep her tone calm, but she did not like his passive aggression.
"Fine. I'll stop." Danny held out his hands and bowed slightly. "If that's what you want."
Paulina glared at him. "You should just go if you're going to be like this."
"So now you want me to go?"
"Yes!" cried Paulina. Her tears started falling, but she didn't try to stop them this time. "Now I want you to go! Just go!"
She turned her back on him, held her arms and cried.
Danny moved to her window and was about to transform.
But…
He turned his head to look at her again. Her back was to him, but she was slouched over, her body shaking, her shoulders heaving. He hated to see her cry, and he especially hated when he was the one who made her cry.
He was also in pain, but he couldn't leave her like this. He was supposed to be her knight, the one person she could always trust with her heart.
He gently wrapped his arms around her from behind. He said nothing, just held her close to him, felt her tears falling on his sleeves.
For some time, for a long time, they stayed like that in silence.
At last, Paulina tilted her head back and looked into Danny's eyes. He gave her a small smile. She put her hand on the side of his face.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I was a real jerk."
Paulina sniffled. "I'm sorry, too, Danny." She turned around so that she was fully facing him, his arms now on her lower back. "Can we talk now?"
Danny nodded and let her lead him to her bed where they both sat down.
"Wait." Paulina stood again and walked toward the far wall. Danny couldn't help but admire just how lovely she was in her little red dress. Even now, she was still a vision to him.
Paulina switched off the main light and turned on another lamp so that the room was now only dimly lit. She kicked off her heels and rejoined him on the bed. "Sorry, I just thought it'd be easier to talk like this." She took his hands. "Do you want water or anything?"
"No," said Danny. "I just want you."
Paulina looked down at his hands held in her own. "You sure about that?"
"Yes." Danny also looked down. "It's just that I'm not sure if I'm right for you."
"You're perfect for me."
"I don't feel like I am."
Paulina waited.
"I want to make you so happy, Paulina. Your happiness is all I ever think about. But I feel like I so often come up short when you ask me to do certain things."
"Danny, the fact that you try for me is what makes me happy."
"But wouldn't you be happier if I did more than try? Don't you want someone who has good social skills and can dance?" He chuckled, but it was a pained sound. "Or give you a good striptease?"
Paulina pushed his hair off of his forehead. "I couldn't possibly be happier with you, Danny. And I certainly wouldn't want anyone else."
She could see that there was a question in his head, a question he was debating whether or not he should ask. She waited for him to sort it out.
"Paulina, would you have dated me if you didn't know I was Danny Phantom?" He looked at her seriously. "I mean, if I had tried to ask you out as just me, would you have ever said yes?"
Paulina looked into his eyes as she searched her heart for an answer. "I don't know," she replied honestly.
Danny's gaze dropped.
"Danny, there's no way for me to know if I would still be here with you now if I had never known you were Phantom." Paulina leaned into him. "Please don't be hurt by that."
"I'm trying not to be."
"Listen." Paulina caressed his cheek. "There is always a reason people start dating. There is always that one thing, that one circumstance that brings people together. Any relationship you see out there is because of one magical coincidence, one unlikely situation that just happened to bring them together. The odds of anyone meeting any other person are low, and yet we do meet others. All the time. Because that is just how life works."
Danny did not say anything as he pondered. He had never thought of this before, but he supposed it was true. His friends and acquaintances were all people he might've never met if his parents hadn't decided to send him to a certain school, if they hadn't decided to live in Amity Park, or if they hadn't decided to be intimate that one time that led to his existence in the first place.
"People start dating because one of them just happened to tell a good joke, because one of them just happened to give an inspiring presentation in a class, because one of them just happened to offer to pay for coffee." Paulina stroked his hand. "Or because one of them just happened to enter his parents' ghost portal and gave himself a shock that turned him half-ghost."
Danny chuckled, shut his eyes, let the implication of this settle in his mind.
"It might be true that we only started dating because you're Danny Phantom, but the reason we're still together now is far more than that. The reason I stayed with you is because of who you really are beyond that." She put her forehead against his. "I was infatuated with Danny Phantom." She looked into his eyes. "But I fell in love with Danny Fenton."
Danny couldn't speak, choked by sentiment.
"So, yes, maybe I was just a little shallow before. Perhaps I only finally gave you a chance because of what you are." Paulina put her hands on his face, studied him intently. "But I stayed because of who you are."
And just who was he beyond Phantom?
He didn't quite know himself. But it seemed Paulina was convinced she did, and that meant more to him than he could ever put into words.
"You've made me a better person than I ever could've been without you, Danny. You have no idea how grateful I am that some highly improbable force allowed me the honor of having you here with me now." Paulina closed her eyes, tears that had been brimming escaping them. "And I hope that you decided to stay with me because you've seen who I really am, too."
He fell upon her, nestled his neck against hers. She returned the embrace and kissed his neck. Together only by chance, but so was everyone else.
When they broke away, Paulina held onto his hands. "I'm sorry for making you do things that made you uncomfortable. The dancing, the clothes." She smiled. "The striptease."
Danny laughed.
"Which you really were amazing at, by the way," said Paulina, loving the sound of his laughter. "But I promise I'll try very hard to not do that to you again." She straightened up. "But you have to help me out. You have to tell me if you really don't want to do something, okay?"
"But I really don't mind when you ask me to do things that are out of my comfort zone. I mean, we've had some pretty fun times we would've never had otherwise." Danny grinned at the memories that entered his mind. "And, you know, I actually kind of liked doing a striptease for you."
Paulina raised a brow. "Really?"
"Yeah, because, well…because you liked it, and that made me feel really good."
Paulina frowned slightly. "But I don't want you to do things just to make me happy. I want you to do what makes you happy."
"But making you happy really is what makes me happiest," said Danny. "I want to do everything for you because you do so much for me." He paused, sighed. "But I promise I'll say no if I'm really not comfortable with something."
"Thank you," said Paulina.
"And I'm sorry that I was so sensitive about you dancing with another guy. And for walking out on the class."
"I shouldn't have left you like that, not without making sure you were okay with it."
"I just don't want you to think I'm possessive or that I don't trust you." Danny held her hand to his chest. "I'll work on that."
"We'll work together, my love."
They were quiet for a moment.
"Do you want to stay with me tonight?" asked Paulina. "Or would you rather go now?"
"Of course I want to stay."
"Not just because it would make me happy?"
"It would make me happy, too." He stuck out his bottom lip just a little in thought. "I would actually love to dance with you now." His voice lowered. "Now that it's just us."
With a smile, Paulina stood and gently tugged at his hands, pulled him up to stand with her. She led him to the center of the room, dashed to her computer to play a set of romantic songs, then returned to him.
"What do I do?" asked Danny.
Paulina placed his hands on her lower back, placed hers on his shoulders. "Just move. Small steps, small circles." She cupped his chin. "And don't look away."
Slowly, softly, sweetly. They were the only ones who existed right now. They were the only ones who mattered at the moment. Small spins, short strides. The space between them closed until their pulses aligned. They danced within the shadows cast by the dim light on the walls, danced within the deep feelings they held for each other.
"This is much easier," murmured Danny.
"You like it?"
"Yes."
Paulina placed her lips against his, breathed her confessions of love into him. Danny likewise responded with hushed confessions of his own.
Paulina moved her hands from his shoulders down the sleeves of the shirt she had dressed him in. "You really do look fantastic in this, Danny."
"Well, thank you."
"But you'd look even more fantastic out of it."
"I think you better help me with that."
Paulina undid the top button of his shirt and trailed kisses down his chest as she released the rest of the buttons and pulled the shirt out from the confines of his waistband. One more button beyond that freed him, and then he freed her, and then they resumed their shadow dancing.
"Shadow Dancing" - Andy Gibb
You got me looking at that heaven in your eyes.
I was chasing your direction, I was telling you no lies, and I was loving you.
When the words are said, baby, I lose my head.
And in a world of people, there's only you and I.
There ain't nothing come between us in the end.
How can I hold you when you ain't even mine?
Only you can see me through. I leave it up to you.
All that I need is just one moment in your arms.
I was chasing your affection, I was doing you no harm, and I was loving you.
Make it shine, make it rain. Baby, I know my way.
I need that sweet sensation of living in your love.
I can't breathe when you're away; it pulls me down.
Ah, you are the question, and the answer am I.
Only you can see me through. I leave it up to you.
Do it light, taking me through the night.
Shadow dancing, baby, you do it right.
Give me more. Drag me across the floor.
Shadow dancing, all this and nothing more.
And in this world of people, there's only you and I.
There ain't nothing come between us in the end.
Ah, can I hold you when you ain't even mine?
Only you can see me through. I leave it up to you.
(The end! I so enjoy writing this couple. They have such great chemistry. Similar and opposite in all the most wonderfully complementary ways.)
(I have ideas for short stories about other rare Danny/? pairings in which they are already established as a couple and have been dating for awhile, most notably Ember and Dora. Let me know if that sounds interesting to you or if there's a particular couple you'd like me to write [and if there are any songs that make you think of a particular couple...music is kind of my main muse if that isn't obvious by now].)
