CHAPTER SIX REMEMBRANCE

The Characters, places and situations of Doc Martin are owned by Buffalo Pictures. This story makes no claim of remuneration or ownership, nor do I make any attempt to infringe upon any rights of the owners or producers.

Careful - there are spoilers for Season Six

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CHAPTER SIX

After her outburst, Ruth and I sat in silence for what seemed like an an eternity. She could not speak as she was weeping silently. Her shoulders shook as she cried. In shock I could not say a word and I realize now, would not; out of respect; perhaps out of empathy. I had taken her hand which squeezed mine forcefully.

Finally in a very quiet voice she said, "I had a chance for life with someone I loved, Louisa. I made choices that destroyed that chance. I do not want that to happen to you and Martin. Maybe it won't work, but if you fail to give it the effort it deserves you will regret it forever. I am sorry for this Louisa. Today is about your issues and not about my past."

"Oh no, Ruth. I just regret that this has brought up bad memories for you."

"In many ways, Louisa, they are good memories. They simply ended badly. I simply put my education and career ahead of what could have been a lifetime with a person I loved very much. Hamish was my soulmate. I was very intellectual and he was a free spirit. He was an artist and became a teacher of sculpture at Cambridge."

Now I had become curious and James Henry was cooperating so I had to know more. "But Ruth, I don't understand. A teacher and a physician. That can work, can't it?"

"Well, of course it can Louisa, but not when the teacher is studying in Scotland and the physician is at Kings College. You would not understand loyalty to family Louisa. I foolishly followed my father's insistence where I would study. Hamish and I drifted and then he met Wei Ting. Ironically Louisa, she was an obstetrician. They married and had three daughters. I have only wished him every happiness.

"But no more about that Louisa! Are you listening to me because I have something I want to you hear and I have never been more serious in my life."

I was expecting some great psychological insight; some great wisdom from this psychiatric sage. "Of course Ruth. What?"

"There is something you must do immediately. You must nail your foot to the floor. No solo trips to Spain in your future!"

Both of us laughed. But we both knew it was not really a flippant comment. Ruth wanted Martin and me to give our marriage every chance to be a lifetime event. And now because of her kind candidness I understood why.

"Oh Ruth, thank you. You have no idea what it means for you to have come today. I love you Ruth and I thank you for your kindness and frankness. As I grew up here in Portwen, your sister Joan was like a mother to me. Losing her was an indescribable sadness. Seems like every Ellingham I have met has been a needed gift."

Ruth chuckled and said, "Well, Louisa I could introduce you to some relatives that would negate that statement. But I do thank you for it and I appreciate you including me in your family. I love James Henry so much."

"Well Ruth, by their own actions James' biological grandmothers have abdicated, haven't they? Granny Ruth! I quite like the sound of that. Speaking of gifts. Your being his grandmother is a true gift to James. What do you think?"

As I watched her lovely face, it was much more peaceful and perhaps tinged with a bit of joy. Then her beautiful eyes began to tear up again. I am afraid I could but respond in kind and the water flowing over the dam gave way and the dam broke. We embraced each other and just bawled. I am so glad Martin wasn't around to speak of female hormones. We gradually settled and looked again at each other.

Ruth finally spoke. "Oh my, Louisa. Nothing like that to clear the sinuses."

At that point James began to awaken. I told Ruth she should go and bring him.
She returned with my son snuggled into her neck, not quite awake yet. She sat back down and rubbed his back. He actually fell back asleep.

Looking at me again Ruth quietly said, "Louisa, you asked me what you should do. In answering that, may I ask you some questions?"

"Of course. I welcome anything from you."

"When Martin is not aware you are watching, what is he like with James Henry?

"He is so tender and gentle. I catch him just staring at him in wonder. One night I came home to find him reading to him from the British Medical Journal of all things. James had the biggest smile on his face."

"Has Martin ever shown his vulnerable side with you? Have you ever seen his tears?"

"Yes, Ruth, actually I have seen him weep almost without control. I didn't know how to console him."

"Do you trust him?"

"Totally."

"Do you respect him?"

"Ruth when you know this man how could you not respect him? I have never met anyone with a stronger duty of care."

"What if Martin is not as demonstratively romantic as you might wish or as a model husband you have held in your dreams?"

"I will never again look for the perfect man. Hard to do when you see your own imperfections, isn't it? Perhaps Martin is perfect for me. I truly hope so. Ruth I have seen him be tender and romantic. Only moments of course, but I was warmed by those moments."

"You have to decide Louisa, but I believe you have your answer."