I forgot this was one of my ideas. Despite this, I think the programmers would've given Sarge a lot of "feminine qualities", just for the irony.
Speech to include: "I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what i'm doing."
Sgt. Calhoun never met a challenge she couldn't overcome.
When she first saw the apartment in which her husband dwelled, and saw Wreck-It being able to shuffle his way in, she figured she could fit just fine.
Which she did, and the fact that she could see over a refrigerator for once only weirded her out slightly.
But that was early into their dating. His apartment was their apartment now and as such Calhoun felt it was time for a new challenge.
Cooking.
"I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea what i'm doing."
Q*Bert replied in his usual fashion, " &$#%?"
Fortunately, her Q*Bertease was slightly better than a certain 8-bit handyman's.
"I'm not asking Mary, I can do this."
"& &-"
"I know what I said! Now are you going to hand me the fire extinguisher or not, Private?!"
Twenty minutes, and three almost fires later Felix came through the door.
"Honey, I'm home-"
" !%#"
"Q*Bert?"
Calhoun marched up to him, Q*Bert tucked under one arm and now Fix It Felix Jr. under the other.
"He said 'We're eating at Tapper's tonight'."
She could tackle this challenge after she got some food in her.