gifts and talents

"You said you had a link to General Skywalker this afternoon, ma'am," one of the novices began as he stood next to Afir Kuay Li'in. "But the general has said a few times that sometimes he'd like to be hooked in to our systems - - to know what was going on everywhere and all that, you understand? And I don't understand, if you know what I mean."

She nodded, grace under fire, Rex thought. She'd sought solitude, found herself instead being surrounded by these eager young pups. She was less intimidating, perhaps, than the jedi masters they were used to. Certainly more approachable than a lot of them. And there was something about her that made them all want to stand next to her, just to pass a few moments in conversation with her. She made them feel human. All the way human. Like she was their sister or mother or girlfriend. She'd spent time, not bolstering morale as a commander, but petting each of the men in the healer's station. She'd listened intently to each med droid explain condition and recovery and prognosis. She'd linked fingers with a few of them as battered limbs were prepped to be replaced with synthetic ones, as gashes were stitched, as bacta was applied and dressings were changed.

He'd watched her.

Now she would explain the mystery of her gift to Thatchen.

"All jedi are force-sensitive. It's part of what makes us what we are. There are other beings, too, who carry the talent. The Sith for one. When I told General Skywalker's man that he should have known I was all right because we were linked I made reference to that, not to real-time battle-data. Nothing like in the HUDs. He wouldn't have been able to zoom in on me and find me if I were lost. Although maybe Obi-Wan could have. Anakin and I are linked through Obi-Wan. He and I have always been very, very close. Closer, probably, than you and your brothers. It goes beyond being friends and beyond being partners." She shrugged. "It's there and it's real. When something happens we can sense it - - even worlds away from each other. When I passed my trials he knew. He knew without even being told that I was going - - he was on a mission on Harraban. I was on Ilum. And as soon as he dropped out of hyperspace there was a comm from him saying congratulations; it was waiting on me when I got back to the ship. We absolutely empathize. I felt it - - physically felt it - - when his master was killed. The pain ripped through each of us simultaneously. And we've lived our whole lives with that sort of connection. That's what I meant. Only that Anakin would have known if I'd been dead or injured because Obi-Wan would have felt my pain or the loss of connection and since Obi-Wan and Anakin are linked almost as closely it would have rippled over to him as well."

"Maybe he did feel it," Rex interrupted.

Afir's head shot around to where he was lounging on against a support strut, his head back against the wall of the craft. He'd sought solitude as well. And he loved these little nooks and crannies and had found a comfortable one atop the conduit that ran through the docking bay where he could watch the stars pass.

"He felt your pain and it frightened him," he told the jedi master regarding him now.

"I wasn't injured," she argued, shaking her head. Tears threatened. "I've not a scratch on me, not a single bruise or mark or scar."

Rex nodded sadly at her. "Then it's time to check inside. If there was a soul that didn't feel your pain this afternoon it's a callous one. No one watching you with my boys could say that you didn't hurt for them. And when we found you with Haston-"

She stopped him by raising her hand and shaking her head. "You've made your point."

"It wasn't a criticism. It means a lot - - especially to us - - it means a lot."

Their eyes met and she remembered his kindnesses, the soft whisper touch of his hand on her cheek, the way he'd sought to help her cleanse herself of the battle's aftermath.

Now he gestured to her, just a flick of his fingers, a tightening of his hand. And she responded automatically to the command for her to come closer. Forgetting completely the other man present she swayed toward him, then took the few steps haltingly, finally kneeling at his side.

"You did the job, General. It's time to accept that. Men die. Better that we have generals like you and General Kenobi and General Skywalker who respect us and see us as valuable resources. There are others who don't. But nothing that happened today was your fault. If you think you didn't make a difference, think again. Haston was going to die today. That's the way of it. But you might not have been beside him. He might have been alone and hurting and bleeding out. Instead he went out with the picture of you in his head, with your pretty hair against the sunshine and the blue sky. And that's something. It's something, Afir Kuay Li'in."

She nodded. She didn't quite believe him, but he called up some feelings of pride and understanding. He made her feel safe, she thought. Which was an odd concept all in all. Of course she was safe. She'd been safe all her life. But no one made her feel secure in her sadness and fear and despair like this. Shifting, she turned so that she could rest her back against the conduit housing upon which he sat. She let out a deep breath and his hand came down to cover her shoulder.

"You just rest now, princess."

"I am no princess," she corrected him automatically in a voice that barely carried. "I am a jedi. A lone jedi fighting too many fronts at once. Against my own and against their enemies. My order has gone mad and the world is shifting dangerously."

He nodded and his response was a gentle pat. "A jedi princess, then, master. It doesn't matter. Let it flow out of you and build yourself back up. There's plenty of war left. I'll get back for Haston. You stay true to yourself and leave the others to me. All the others. I'm tough enough to take 'em on. You just let it go now."

She nodded. Vengeance wasn't for the jedi. But she couldn't blame this man as he spoke of payback and retribution in soft, soothing tones. She did let her eyes close, let her head fall back.

And for hours he sat there, long after he would have sought out the company of his own men, just watching her breath.