I know it took me a really long time to upload AGAIN and I'm so* sorry but I've been sick...bleh.

YOUR REVIEWS MAKE MY WHOLE LIFE. I LOVE THEM.

Enjoy, and so sorry for the wait. (:

I shifted on the too comfortable mattress, trying in vain to find a suitable position to lie in.

It had been only hours since my transformation. I was staying at Damon's house, although I knew I needed to get to Jenna. I hated thinking that I would have to compel her when I got back, but I had no other option. She would be too confused if I didn't clear things up for her. Still, I despised the fact that I had to violate her mind that way. It wasn't right.

I'd hardly drunk any blood in the past few hours. I was too afraid that I'd lose control. All that I did drain was from the blood bags from the fridge in the Salvatore basement. I didn't like the cold taste on my tongue—it was wrong somehow, like trying to drink hot chocolate after you've let it cool for too long. It took away some of the deliciousness.

I reasoned that that may not be the worst thing. I shouldn't love the taste of human blood. It was so unnatural, so monstrous. I was a predator, and yet I could not think of humans, my friends, my family, as my prey. I was equipped with all the tools for killing or maiming—it was what I was meant to do. And I didn't want to.

No, no that was a lie. I did want to. I wanted to kill, to feed. I craved hot, pulsing blood straight from the vein of a struggling, meaningless body. I wanted to drink until I wasn't hungry, even if it took forever. My want for blood seemed so much more important than their need for it.

It was kind of cruel that I had to crave human blood, the one thing humans can't live without. No blood, no circulation, heart stops beating. They needed blood. I didn't—at least I didn't need all of it. I just wanted it all, every drop. I knew I couldn't have that much, though. I knew I had to leave them with enough to keep them alive.

I also knew that right now I wouldn't be able to. Hence the blood bags.

The day had been slow, dragging. Everything felt different, and everything was amplified—my guilt for what I was, my love for my family, my hunger, and most of all, my need for Damon.

Who had been nearly nonexistent throughout the whole day, which had wrecked my nerves up pretty efficiently, of course. I was worried about what his absence meant, but couldn't find it in me to focus on it. I had other, more important things to figure out first. Like how I was going to tell Jeremy.

I rolled over in my bed—Damon's bed, actually— glancing at the clock. Though the lights were off, I could see perfectly, thanks to my new-and-improved vision. Vampire perk. Damon was nowhere to be found in the room, but I felt confident that I could locate him. He had to be in the house somewhere, and there was no way I was getting any sleep after this very long day until I spoke to him.

I groaned and kicked out from under the soft sheets, pushing up the sleeves of Damon's worn grey hoodie. I'd had him pegged for a leather-jacket, black-T-shirt kind of guy, but it turned out that he actually did own some comfy clothes.

My feet hit the frosty cold floor without a sound, which was strange. As a human, I hadn't noticed the way I walked a bit clumsily or made noise when I moved; but now that the noise was gone, I missed it. It was weird that I was so silent; like I was a ghost.

I shook off the thought as I crept out of the room, barely feeling the draft from the door as I swung it open. It was a bit sticky inside the house, the heater working a little too hard. I rolled the sleeves of the shirt up further, glad I'd opted for a pair of boxer shorts over Damon's sleep pants.

I placed my hand on the smooth wooden railing as I poured myself down the stairs. A dim light came from the kitchen, but other than that, I had to look at the house through night-vision.

As soon as my toes hit the bottom step, I knew the second floor of the house was empty. I couldn't feel Damon's presence. Curiously, I turned on my heel and jogged back up, sniffing around for that vampire in question.

A wind coming from down the hallway blew my hair back from my shoulders, and I turned towards it. I followed the breeze all the way down the corridor, stopping in the opened doorway of another room. This one was vacant, apart from the 5"10 vampire standing in the balcony.

French door style windows had been opened and he perched in between them. Gusts of wind blew his hair back, along with his unbuttoned white t-shirt. His hands were placed casually on his hips, his shoulders uncharacteristically slouching.

I frowned. Something was not right with him. Testing out my new vampire speed, I zipped across the room to reach him, feeling the fresh, cool air hit my face.

"Damon?"

He refused to answer, instead turning those shiny blue eyes on me. They looked a bit too shiny tonight.

"Damon, what's the matter?"

He narrowed his eyes. "You were going to let yourself die, 'Lena."

I looked at the ground, shame settling in my stomach. This sad expression on his angelic face was because of something I'd done to hurt him, and I hated that. "I'm sorry." I should've expected all of this, expected that he would be upset. How did the fact that I hadn't attest to my character?

"You can go ahead and be sorry, Elena, but you still don't get it!"

"Get what, Damon, what do you want me to say?"

"I want you to explain to me why you thought it was okay to put me through the pain of thinking that I was going to have to live my entire existence without you. That you gave your life to escape something that I forced you into." He paused, fuming. "You had him lock me in a cell, Elena."

"I-"

"I thought I was never going to see you again."

I decided to just shut up and let him get everything off his chest.

"Why is it so difficult for you to comprehend that I need you alive, Elena? How could you not have known what your death would have done to me?" He dragged a hand down his face. "Jesus Christ, I sound like that sparkly vampire with the Stefan-hair."

I wrinkled my nose and tried not to let the giggle tickling my chest get out of my mouth. Damon could be so funny at the most inappropriate times.

Even he had half a smile on his face, but it disintegrated quickly. "I'm serious, 'Lena. I need you to be safe. And I will make sure that nothing happens to you."

"How?" I challenged. "Tonight, Stefan let me make my own choice. You were so set on making it for me that he had to lock you up. How did you plan on stopping me tonight? Huh?"

He glared at me. "Do you have any idea how close I came to killing my own brother for this? It was only a matter of time before I got the door off its hinges. Go ahead and check downstairs; I'd already knocked it halfway free. Stefan should be down there fixing it."

My eyes widened. "Did you hurt him?"

"He's lucky I didn't end him."

If I was human, my heart would've been beating irregularly. "Is he okay?"

Damon sighed heavily. "Yes, Elena. He's fine; vampires heal quickly. He may feel that stake in his back in the morning, but aside from that, he's in mint condition."

I gasped. "Oh my God, you didn't!"I turned to run and check on poor Stefan, but Damon caught my arms and held me.

"Yes, Elena, I did. And I would do it again. I cannot lose you."

I jerked away from him, thoroughly freaked out, and ran. My thought raced a mile a minute. This wasn't the Damon I'd known. This Damon was a lot scarier, and much too protective. This Damon would kill for me, die for me…and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

On the other hand, he had a point. How could I have been so selfish? I was no better than Katherine, I realized with a stabbing ache. I only did what was best for myself.

Still, he needed to understand that there was a limit to how far he could go to protect me. If he didn't have boundaries, this would never work.

I hit the stairs to the basement and padded down, hoping to find Stefan mending a door. Instead, there he was, locked in the same cell Damon had been in. I swiftly found the catch and unhooked it, letting myself in. Stefan lay in a heap in the middle of the dusty floor.

I crouched down next to him and patted his shoulder. "Stefan?" My hair fell over my face, and I tucked it behind my ear impatiently. "Stefan, it's Elena. Can you hear me? Do you need help?"

He grunted and rolled over, exposing his bloodied side. The stake was still stuck in it. "I can't reach it," he rasped and dragged in a pained breath. "I need you to pull it out."

I bit down on my lip and nodded. "How do I do this without hurting you?"

"Just do it fast and don't watch."

Following his instructions carefully, I reached out gingerly for the stake embedded in his skin. I got all hot and sweaty and icky when I realized that skin had grown around the wound, trapping the stake in his body. I'd have to rip him open all over again.

As sound as my fingers wrapped around the rough wood, I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled back, knocking myself over in the process. A yell escaped Stefan as the stake tore against his flesh. A few pants later, I was upright and his wound was closing. He groaned and moved slowly.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded tensely. "Thank you."

I sat back, crossing my legs. He adjusted himself, rolling his shoulder and flexing the muscles in his back, wincing as he did so. "Damn it, that hurt."

My face fell. "This is all my fault, Stefan, I'm so sorry. I feel horrible."

He shrugged. "Damon's unpredictable sometimes. I get it."

"Thank you so much for your help," I began. "I know it must seem confusing, that I changed my mind so many times, but I realized that I owed it to my family to carry on." I paused. "You saved me."

He stilled, all movement ceasing. Even his breathing stopped, and his mouth set into a completely expressionless line.

"So this is your serious face," I joked, trying to lighten him up. I need to hear the story from him, and I didn't know how I was going to do that if he refused to even move.

A small smile danced across his lips. "No, that's just my every day face. But don't worry, you're not the first person to make the mistake."

I offered a smile, but then I grew somber. I looked him dead in the eye. "I saw everything that you made me forget and I…I wanted to thank you for saving my life. For trying to save my dad's, too."

He frowned. "I went back for him, you know. But by then I was too late." His eyes found the ground, dark lashes shading them.

I touched my tongue to the inside of my top two teeth, searching for a response. "I know why you did what you did…but I can't help but feel even guiltier now, about what happened to them."

"Don't. Don't dishonor your father by living a life of sadness. I know that you feel awful about what happened, but he wouldn't have wanted that. He asked me to get you out of the car. He wanted you to live. So do it; live. Be happy."

I nodded. "I will." After that, there was really nothing to be said. The silence continued on until finally I couldn't sit still. "Do you need anything else or…?"

He shook his head, standing fully on his feet. "Don't worry about me, you've done enough." After a pause, he placed an unexpected kiss on my cheek. "I know that the way Damon behaved tonight scared you, but truthfully, you've changed him for the better, Elena. If this was one hundred years ago, he would've killed me for what I did tonight; but now…he's different. And I know it has everything to do with you." With that, he walked off, leaving me there to ponder the craziness of the night and to try to get some faint idea of what the hell was going to happen now.