Guys I'm really * sorry that this update has taken so long. Believe it or not, I have this life and I've had a lot of living to do the past week. I'm sorry, I want nothing more than to make this story my first priority, but sadly, that's just not how it works. :( Anyways, please enjoy.

Oh, and I've decided to dedicate this chapter to all my reviewers, particularly Suzanne London, as her recent review made my whole week. I really loved it, and it inspired this chapter. So thank you! Here you go :)

I slammed hard against the back of a tree and slid down slowly, groaning. I had yet to master fighting skills.

Damon and I had spent the balance of the week training. He said that Klaus could come for us eventually, since we had royally pissed him off, and I needed to be ready. Even with my new vampire strength, Damon's blows hurt like Hell. It looked like it hurt him to hurt me, though, so I tried to keep a poker face.

Today was a Friday, and I was especially tired. Every bruise I'd gotten had healed swiftly, although some had taken longer than others, and every cut or scrape had crusted over and evaporated within minutes of receiving, so no, I wasn't physically exhausted. It was the mental toll that I was feeling now. I'd been hunting animals with Stefan or raiding blood banks with Damon for five days now, and I couldn't get enough blood—I also couldn't shake the urge to get that blood straight from a pulsing vain. Guilt was consuming me, and I felt as though my sanity were slowly unraveling. How could I go on with his crazy desire to kill? Things that had once mattered so much—school, friends, even cheerleading or relearning to drive a car—they had skidded to the very bottom of my priority list. Learning to cope with being a vampire was first.

Klaus was second. I was so scared of him. Damon had said that he wasn't sure why Klaus hadn't followed us back home that night. We all knew that there had to be something big brewing—we could sense it like a thunderstorm. And now I sat like the dog afraid of thunder, with my tail between my legs and my head tucked under Damon's arm, shielding myself from the first strike of lightning. Because I knew that when it came down to it, the thunder would be louder than my bark—I knew that Klaus was inevitably stronger than me, no matter how much I trained or conditioned my body. He was a thousand years old, for crying out loud! There was no way I could stand against him, not even with Stefan and Damon fighting beside me.

Which brought me to the topic of Damon. I still worried that he would do something stupid for me, and I hadn't forgotten my vow to protect him from myself. I was also still clueless as to how to keep him from sacrificing himself or his brother for me. But I'd have to ponder that one and get back to it.

Jenna and Jeremy also needed to be worked out. Poor Jer had already lost enough family members; he didn't need to lose me, too. Guilt pierced at my heart. How must it have felt for him to be released from the hospital and not find his sister waiting for him at home? And Jenna, did she even remember that I was gone? I needed to look into her compulsion.

Finally, to top all of it off, Damon had barely said three words to me that hadn't been in connotation with training. He was really mad, and I really needed him. I wondered how long it would take for him to forgive me, or if he ever truly would. I'd sincerely hurt him, and it killed me to think about how selfish I'd been. I was almost worse than Katherine.

Now, lying there on the wet ground, soaked in sweat and blood from wounds that had already healed, I didn't think I could get back up. I groaned and rolled over, grabbing fistfuls of grass in my hands.

I was suddenly furious.

Why did all of this happen to me? What had I done wrong? It was like everything was piling on—both my parents were dead and now that I was immortal, I'd get to watch the rest of my family die, too; Caroline was a vampire and she hadn't even told me; I had no idea what had happened to Bonnie and Tyler; Klaus, the most powerful being on Earth, was plotting some terrible feat for me; Damon couldn't be bothered to speak to me—and now, now I had tears in my eyes and an ache for blood in my throat.

I tore off the ground, letting a growl through my teeth that had no hint of anything human in it. The fury and adrenaline I felt were pure, and they were the first solid emotions I'd had in a while that could even compare in strength to hunger.

So I lashed out.

At the tree.

I kicked my foot up into the bark the way Damon had taught, and it swayed from its base to its branches. Sticks and dead leaves fell around me, but I ignored them. I pounded on the tree with my fists until my knuckles bled and splinters covered them—wooden splinters, the only substance that could make me feel long lasting, physical pain at the moment. I heard cracks as I wailed on the tree with all I had, and I felt it shake even harder, but I couldn't have cared if it had fallen on an entire camp site full of people. I was that overwhelmed.

"I hate this," I screamed as I banged my shoulder against the tree, feeling the bone pop out of the socket and then snap right back into place. "I hate it," I cried. "I didn't want this." I kicked harder. "I hate being a bloodsucking, red eyed, freaking murderous vampire!"

On that last word I heard a giant crunch. I stopped crying and looked up in time to see a very long, very thick branch heading straight for me.

And I didn't move out of the way.

Something heavier than the branch slammed into me and I flew six feet back. The falling part of the tree hit the ground with a thunderous boom, and I watched dust fly over the shoulder of the vampire who'd knocked me out of the way.

"Damn it, Elena," Damon snarled and wrestled me to the ground. He pinned me down, hands braced against the ground on either side of my head. Our noses almost touched. "You were going to do it again," he accused. "You were going to let yourself die."

More tears came, but I tried to control myself when a disgusted look crossed his face. "I—I'm sorry," I sobbed. "Not just about this." I laid my head back on the floor and gave in to the flowing tears. "I'm so sorry."

After that, he let me sob. Neither of us moved, apart from my shaking shoulders. When the last of the tears were out, he kissed the wetness from my cheeks. His eyes were still hot with fury. "You make me crazy," he whispered, thumb catching the edge of my T-shirt and brushing it up. His fingertips grazed my skin. Shivers cascaded through me. "Even when I can't stand you, I can't stand to be away from you." With that, his mouth dropped to mine, and the rest of the world was forgotten in an instant.

His hand molded to the bare skin of my waist, his hips pressing into me. His tongue brushed my lips quickly, and I fought back a gasp. Words could not describe how much I loved him. But maybe this kiss could. I reached my arms around him and pulled him closer. We rolled so that he was under me, and I sat back, pulling our lips apart for a moment. His body reacted, his mouth following mine as his head leaned forward to chase me back. He stopped when I pulled far enough away, and I looked into his gorgeous eyes. I let my fingers trail down his face. "Damon, I'm sorry. I love you."

His jaw locked and he nodded, eyes filling with hunger. My stomach flipped happily and I leaned back into our kiss. His hand pressed into the small of my back holding me close. I couldn't help but smile. This was better, this gave me hope.

This was what I lived for.

I tacked the Jeremy problem the next day. Stefan had said I was probably strong enough to be around people now, but just in case, Damon was coming with me. I was going to have to tell Jeremy the truth. Jenna I could probably get around, as shed already been compelled—much as I disliked it. I'd hoped to be able to divulge my secret to her, but I knew she didn't need to carry that on her shoulders and, well…I was scared. Jeremy, I knew I could trust with not just my life, but Stefan and Damon's. Jenna was a different story. Yes, I would donate a kidney to her if she needed it, and yes we were family, and yes I trusted her with my own safety, but I didn't want to tell her about Damon or Stefan. Naturally, she'd be a concerned, responsible guardian, and I expected her to want to shoo the two of them away. That would complicate things even further for me, something I really didn't want.

I invited Jeremy to meet me at the Grill. There, we sat down and in a whisper, I asked him, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course, Elena," he replied, "But you've got to tell me what's going on. You've been gone for a week, and Jenna doesn't remember a thing! I get it if you're slumming it with some of…my type of friends…but you've got to tell me where you've been."

I reached across the table to touch his hands, but he jerked back. "Can we not?" he muttered.

That hurt, and I flinched, but I should've expected his reaction. "Jeremy…your whole world is about to change. Everything you've ever thought was impossible…well, you just have to trust me on this. I'm not crazy. This is real; this is happening." And I explained everything to him—from start to finish, beginning to end.

When I finished, his mouth opened in a small gap, showing his surprise. His eyes seemed to be calculating which mental facility would be kindest to me. "Don't believe me?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Elena, whatever you're smoking, I'd like a hit." He started scraping his chair back from the table, but I reached a cold hand out to grip his wrist. He seemed baffled by my strength when he couldn't yank away. "Elena, let go."

I blinked and dropped his hand quickly. "Come with me."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't want to go on a shopping trip with you. Or a dinner and a movie date. We're not doing the sibling bonding thing, alright?"

"That's not what I was going to...You know what, Jeremy? Screw you!" I felt a hiss trying to claw from my lungs. "Listen. Our parents are dead—I get it. Believe me, no one knows that as well as I do. You think I don't realize that I'm the reason they were out there in the first place? Of course I do! Of course I miss them, Jeremy! And so does Jenna. She isn't trying to take Mom's place, and neither am I. So how about you stop feeling sorry for yourself, pushing us away, and being such a dick because somehow, Jenna and I have managed to move on with our lives. Try it."

He leaned across the table, rage boiling in his deep eyes. "This is moving on."

"No, it's not! You're just wallowing—you're not living."

"That means so much coming from a vampire."

I took a step back, hurt burning in my chest. "Fine," I muttered. "Do whatever you want with the information I just gave you. Do whatever the hell you want with the rest of your miserable life. Forget I cared." With that, I exited the café, tears streaming. How had I lost Jeremy in all this mess?

I didn't know who to go to except Mom. Sucked that she wasn't exactly here, but something in my subconscious knew exactly where I was going. I stopped at home, grabbed my diary, and passed right by an oblivious Jenna. She sat on the couch reading, and gave me a smile like I'd just come home from a normal day at school. I rolled my eyes and was on my way to the graveyard to visit Mom and Dad when she spoke, stopping me mid stride.

"Hey, Elena—your friend Klaus wanted me to let you know that he'd been by."

...