A/N: I'M SORRY!
Johanna's POV
I hear Katniss scream first. My heart dropped, and I know I have failed. Failed the rebellion, failed the districts, failed myself. I wanted nothing more than to take her place. The rebellion didn't need me. It needed the person who had given it hope, given it a spark.
Peeta has already awoken from his nap and is rushing to find Katniss. I get on my feet and chase after him. I know what he will be going through. I have felt the pain of a death that is personal.
My pace quickens because I remember that Finnick is with Katniss. I didn't want to face Katniss dying, and I don't even like her much, but if Finnick dies? There would be no point, I would just die in here. Panem without Finnick would be like reliving the arena everyday.
Only when I catch up with Peeta I find out that neither Finnick nor Katniss are dead. Instead, Finnick sits in the sand, head down in defeat, and Katniss is crying.
"Peeta?" I ask, but he doesn't move from his spot. "Whats going on?" He looks at me with sad eyes, and finally explains the situation.
"Force field." It must not be strong, though, because his hand rests on it, comforting Katniss on the other side.
"Whats happening in there?" My eyes focus back on Finnick. He has had years of practice to hide his pain, but even know his mask can't quite cover what he is feeling.
If Finnick shows his pain, then it must be bad.
"Listen close." I lean in towards the force field, trying to understand what is happening. I hear voices of people who shouldn't be here. Annie is screaming, and I know thats why Finnick is crying. The most selfish part of me feels a flash of jealousy.
"Who is Katniss crying over?" I ask, wanting to take my mind off the jealousy building within me.
"Her younger sister, Prim. She volunteered for her at the reaping before our games." A moment of silence passes before he speaks again. "And Gale." I decide to leave him alone for now.
I move to the farthest part of the force field, trying to get Finnick's attention, but he doesn't look up from the sand. I sit down and try to listen to what the voices are saying.
"Finn! Finn!" Annie's voice screams. I wonder if the Capitol is showing this. The audience likes physical pain, not psychological. Maybe this was a special breed of torture created by Snow to target the group Katniss is in. If he could turn her into Annie there would be no rebellion. Just drive her mad.
Then I hear a new voice. A calm voice, full of laughter. My voice. I listen closer. "Stop Finnick!" I hear myself laugh, and I know these are not distorted memories. They are real, from the night of Katniss and Peeta's Victory Tour stop in the Capitol. We spent the night goofing off, getting drunk, just challenging the Capitol.
Finnick has a reaction now.
His hands cover his ears and he starts pacing. I panic. If they are playing this, and Annie hears this, Finnick will never be able to look me in the eye.
"Do you love me Odair?" My drunken voice slurs. No, no, no. They recorded us. I shouldn't be surprised, but there was something so intimate about this conversation. I thought that this had gone untouched, left alone. How dumb of me to expect privacy.
"Of course I love you Mason. You're my best friend." Finnick replies. I am stunned they are playing this. No doubt they are showing this to drive Annie deeper into her own mind.
"No Finnick, like more then that. Odair, I mean-" My anger rises up. How dare they? I get up from my spot on the sand and hit the force field. My fist is just deflected, but that doesn't cap my anger. I kick and scream and hit the force field, putting all my power behind the attack.
Finally I am just hitting air, as the hour is up and the force field disappears. I fall to my knees, tears rolling down my cheeks. Finnick quickly walks back towards our packs, not even looking in my direction.
I fall back onto the sand and force myself to stop crying. I'm thankful for my fit of rage, or I would have had to finish listening to their recording.
It feels like forever, but finally I feel someone tap me. Peeta stands over me, and I know Katniss probably wanted time alone after what happened. I pat the sand next to me and he lays down. We lay in silence for a bit, understanding our pain won't be fixed with words.
"I'm sorry," Peeta says.
"Yeah, me too."