Later on, when she looks back, it sort of makes sense.
Enfer
III
| indeed the safest road to hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts |
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There are very little things Nao would consider herself good at.
Being good at something means you have to apply yourself and while Nao certainly has the smarts to do anything, she clearly lacks the drive and the attention. She can start things and then drop them very quickly, which infuriates everyone around her (mostly her mother, but Nao has sort of given up trying to please her parents, makes life much easier on her).
When she's seventeen and all her friends are anxious about choosing Universities, Nao has already been accepted at Toho. She refuses the scholarship – it's not like her father can't afford the tuition and the beauty of a Japanese University is that she doesn't need to have extracurricular activities or teachers' recommendations.
Chemistry is something she's good at, that she even enjoys on some level. It's a no-nonsense branch of science; math for no reason doesn't appeal to her, physics to her is a waste of time and biology means learning names and she just doesn't want to. She's not bad at Japanese, already speaks English and knows enough about history not to make a fool of herself.
Chemistry is just plain logic. If you understand the basics, know how to balance equations and such, which Nao does, then there's nothing stopping you. If there's an anomaly, the system will try to regulate it by trying to snuff it out – simple.
In all, Nao is truly satisfied with her life. Sure, she won't ever become some top-notch doctor or a wealthy lawyer, but she'll be content in a lab with chemical waste and trying to find a way to dispose of it.
"Nao-san is very passive, isn't she?" She blinks, looking up from her spiral notebook at the man who managed to sneak up on her. His voice drawls out, making her forget what she was doing in the first place.
Black eyes, thumb stuck in his mouth and that very pale skin tone that Nao sort of got used to in the last couple of weeks she's been around the man.
"I guess most people would say that." Her mom, obviously. People who do not really know her would just think that she's withdrawn, not passive.
"And what does Nao-san think?" Her? Well, it's true that it's hard to find something that truly interests her in life. Some people feel too much, some very little. It's not so much that she's passive, it's just that she doesn't care. Her mother always tells her that she was a very calm child, almost never cried for attention.
"I think that it depends on the situation. If I needed to do something, then I'd do it. The world will keep turning even if I don't shout my opinion." Nao actually looks at the man then, his expression a mix of curiosity and amusement.
"Ryuga, how old are you exactly?" He blinks at her.
"I'm twenty-four." She smiles.
"That means you're older than me." By four years. He doesn't look like it. To be honest, if Nao takes the way he sits hunched over and the almost innocent look in his face as bites his thumb, she would have guesses eighteen at the most.
"I fail to see how that is relevant, Nao-san."
"That means…" And she takes a deep breath. "That I'm going to call you Senpai from now on." She lets out a small chuckle and he looks taken aback for just a second.
See, she can showcase emotions.
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Nao really wonders why men keep bringing her food. She doesn't look starved by any means and is even a little heavier than most women she knows. She has a decent amount of body fat, even has what people call curves and while she wears loose fitted clothes, no one would look at her and think that she didn't eat a decent amount of food.
"Here, Nao-chan. My mother packed you a lunch." The twenty-year-old girl blinks at the very well made bento. Her mother always packs her lunches, but Nao never takes them. She hates having to carry a heavy bag and most of her classes are in the morning anyways. By one o'clock she's already home – so she packs an apple to munch on and then goes to school.
Light must have really looked for her. Like she said, the sciences building has its own life and it's rare to see someone from another department wander here.
She's sort of flattered.
"That's so sweet." You know, if she was younger, she'd probably be interested in him. He's particularly gorgeous to look at, well-mannered and she knows her mother would approve because she's seen him grow up.
"I thought we could eat together, ne?" He cocks his head to the side, brown eyes mirroring in the sun. If she thought she could get away with it, she'd pinch his cheeks. If that was Sayu, she wouldn't have given it a second thought. "I have a two-hour break, what about you?"
"Oh, I'm done for the day." She loves her timetable, loves how convenient it is. Most of the chemistry classes or very early in the morning. Nao doesn't mind walking like a zombie to her classes if it means she has her afternoons free.
Light finds them a bench near the weird fountain their school has and he hands her a pair of chopsticks, smiling all the while – Nao could get used to this. It's not like mama Yagami can't cook and the weather is so nice. She breathes, happy and calm.
"Ne, Nao-san, do you think I'm evil?" Uh? She turns to look at Light and his innocent face and his sad eyes.
"Of course not." She answers easily. She used to babysit the boy, has known him for a very long time. No one could look at Light and think he's evil. A little manipulative, sure – Nao's not stupid. She knows very well that the boy can make people do what he wants, but it's not like they are unhappy doing what he asks them to.
"Do you really mean that?" Hope shines in his eyes. She smiles then, softer than usual.
"Yes, I do." He hands her the bento, his fingers touching hers. The touch is a tad too long and for a second Nao thinks that the boy may have a crush on her. But she shrugs away the thought and dives into the food.
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Nao has friends.
Not many in Toho, but she keeps in contact with most of the kids she went to High School with. She even has a friend who went to study on a scholarship in the US.
Most of the students in her program are male, not that she minds – it just means that she sticks out. The point is, Nao has friends, that she sees them almost every other week.
It's not like she's totally unsociable. She knows that she needs people around her, people who share her interests and can talk to about homework and such.
Which is why she can't very much understand why her time seems to be shared with two boys, completely different from each other and most importantly, so very different from her.
She likes Light, she always has. He isn't particularly interested in science, she knows that. But he's smart enough to know what she's talking about and they have a history.
And Nao doesn't really know what to think of Ryuga, but he somehow finds her interesting enough to seek her company and bring her sweets – Nao never refuses free food.
So, her time lately, in the four weeks since school started, has either been spent with Ryuga, Light or with both of them.
She's started to notice, not that she minds or anything, all these two ever seem to talk about are cases and criminology and Kira. Kira this and Kira that and Ryuga always asks her what she thinks about the great detective L and how she would handle cases if she were him – it's redundant.
So, here she is, sandwiched between these two – again, in the same café as always, trying to ignore the two of them and concentrate on her notes. She doesn't even know why they bother inviting her to come. She knows why she does though – Light buys her coffee and Ryuga always buys her a pastry of some kind.
"Nao-san is not paying attention." She doesn't even bother looking up from her notes, eyes trailing over equations and particles and the chemistry formulas that she's allowed during her exam.
"I have to study for my inorganic chemistry exam." Does she really? No. But she doesn't care enough about whatever they are talking about to have an opinion and she might as well do something productive while she's here.
"Nao-chan, you don't care about Kira?" Her eyes leave the page and she blinks at Light.
"Well, I don't see why I should. As long as Kira doesn't try to kill me, he can do whatever he wants." And you know, as long as he doesn't try to kill her parents. She'd be pretty pissed if her mother dropped dead all of a sudden.
Light smiles at her then; almost like he's pleasantly surprised.
"Nao-san has excellent deductive skills; she would be a great asset to the Task Force." Her attention snaps to Ryuga, who doesn't look very pleased with her previous answer.
"We already had that discussion, Senpai." She sighs then – clearly they won't let her go back to her notes. "I don't want to be part of that."
"Are you saying that if L asked you to be a part of the case, you'd say no?" She really has to reconsider spending so much time with both of them. Why would L ever ask her to be part of his team? She doesn't even know the man. Light is bent towards her, staring curiously. Even Ryuga's thumb has dropped away from his lips.
"Not that it will ever happen, but yeah, I'd say no." There's a shift and Nao swears she sees Light send a smug smile towards Ryuga.
"What would it take? For Nao-san to say yes?" You know, her life was a lot more carefree before she decided to spend her afternoons with those two. She kind of misses that. "If he'd give her anything she asked for, would she say yes?"
She doesn't know why, but at that moment she feels trapped between the two, as if both of them are opposite forces and that they are asking her to choose one.
"Anyone can be bought." Is her final answer. And she doesn't feel like answering anymore. She's passive, sure. But even she has her limit. She does not want to pick a fight, but she'll leave without a single regret if they keep pestering her with that.
Ryuga's eyes shine then, sending a look towards Light. Light answers it with a cool smile. Nao just picks at the crumbs her piece of cake left in the plate.
They don't ask her any more questions.
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When Nao makes it home that day, her mother isn't there. She finds a note on the refrigerator that says she went to check up on Light's mom, since the boy's dad is still recovering in the hospital, and that there's food in the fridge.
She crashes on the couch, but only for a second since the doorbell echoes into the silent house. She groans, pushes herself up and drags her feet to the door. She can never catch a damn break.
She swings the door open, wonders who the hell is disturbing her peace and blinks at Ryuga who stares at her with his wide black eyes, draped in his usual white shirt and loose fitted jeans – what the…
"Uh, Ryuga-Senpai? How'd you know where I lived?" A very valid question, since she can't recall even giving the boy her address.
"Nao-san, I hope I'm not intruding – but I would like to ask a favor." Okay, so he doesn't answer her question and enters her house and Nao realizes that he isn't wearing shoes. She closes the door behind her and follows the man who is very clearly intruding.
Nao has a very nice house. She likes her house. She's just not sure about how she feels when Ryuga takes a seat on her couch, his knees propped upwards and looks at her that way.
"A favor?" She says, settling down in the armchair.
"Yes, although it won't make sense to Nao-san if I don't reveal something to her first." So, she blinks, not really she sure what he could reveal to her. "First, I have to know – are we friends, Nao-san?" She blinks.
"I suppose so, Ryuga-Senpai."
"And friends keep each other's secrets or so I've been told…" She nods.
"Yes, friends keep secrets." That seems to be what he wants to hear. There's a silence that stretches and in that small lapse in time, his black eyes study her face carefully, his thumb grazing at his lips ever so slightly.
He seems to find whatever he is looking for and nods at her.
"I am L." Three words.
You know, when she looks back on it later, it makes sense.
a/n : I'm very please that people love Nao. She's great to write. A special thank you to everyone who takes the time to review and enjoys this story. I love to read all of your feedback I hope you enjoyed this chapter - thanks for reading.