CHAPTER EIGHTEEN REMEMBRANCE

The Characters, places and situations of Doc Martin are owned by Buffalo Pictures. This story makes no claim of remuneration or ownership, nor do I make any attempt to infringe upon any rights of the owners or producers.

Thank you for reading. Your reviews and comments are most appreciated. There may be spoilers for Season Six.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Emily's coming to Plymouth had been seamless. She had found a flat only a few streets away from the house where I had a room. Beginning as a supply teacher in Pomphlett Primary school, a permanent position opened when one of the teachers left due to her husband's transfer to Manchester. Our schedules kept us from being together as much as we would have liked but it was so good being in the same town. Did I say town? Plymouth is actually a small city, but definitely not London. Being near the sea is always good. There were more cultural affairs than we had time to attend. We were both very busy but Plymouth did not have the frenetic pace that surrounded one in London.

Taking a picnic to The Hoe and relaxing on the grass had become a favorite day-off time together. Unfortunately the cool damp weather of late fall ushered us indoors for these times. But indoors was good. Cuddling on Emily's sofa after some take-away Chinese food was so good in the rare times we could do that. I often fell asleep due to my hideous on-call schedule.

My dad had said we would come to new understandings, but that comes from ongoing conversations. The times Emily and I could be together we were usually mentally spent. Her being a first-year teacher challenged her every day with all the demands accompanying that. She was finding it quite difficult and she was learning that the differences between the US and England were just a tad more than English spoken properly - or improperly as the case may be. It goes without saying that my medical program kept me drained physically and mentally. It was inevitable this would take its toll.

It was a Friday evening and I was late bringing supper. Emily was off for four days but I was not unfortunately. I used my key and entering the apartment I knew that things were not as they should be.

"James, where have you been? I wish you had been here before now."

Dishes were in the sink. Clothing was lying about and the bed was unmade. There were her blue pants and bra on the floor of the shower. Emily's hair was unkempt and I think she had been crying. Here eyes were awfully red. None of this was like her.

We moved some dishes and sat at her table for some below-average fish and chips. Even the emotional atmosphere shared the disheveled state of the flat. I had to break the silence.

"So a bit of a break from school. That will be good. How was your week Sweetheart?"

"Oh James, I am a failure, a complete failure. Why do I even try? I cannot teach these children. Today I think I just lost control of the class. I honestly wonder if I should be a teacher."

"Emily, it can't be that bad. A few days off and you'll be fine."

"No James I will not be fine. Damn James, I will not be fine! And what about us? Do you like this schedule we keep? We never see each other and when we do you fall asleep. Maybe your dad was right. Being together more may be telling us we are not right for each other. I am just so confused and I don't like it. It is unlike me."

It hadn't helped that she was just getting over a terrible cold that had hung on for two weeks. No doubt she caught it from one of her germ-ladened students. A shadow of doubt had covered her entire being. My response did not help. I know now what my dad must have experienced often. I was at a total loss for words. My hesitation was fatal to our night.

"James, why don't you say something. Is your silence an assent to our failure? Oh I wish I had never come to England."

"No Emily. Don't say that. We are not a failure! This will pass. You can talk with Mum. I am sure she can advise you on your teaching. I don't know, but could you possibly be getting your period?"

I immediately regretted that last statement. How could I be so stupid? Her response was instant and cutting.

"Just perfect James. It's my hormones and all can be solved with a bit of time and a chat with your miracle Mum. Maybe an aspirin and a night's sleep will make it all better. If not I can call the doctor in the morning. Well, don't count on it Dr. Ellingham."

At that point my mobile rang and bugger if it was not an emergency that I would have to attend to.

"Emily, I am sorry for that stupid comment. I am needed at hospital as soon as I can get there. I am truly sorry. Get some sleep and I will call you in the morning. Perhaps I can get away and come over. We will work through this, OK? We will."

With that I left the apartment with no confidence that I had said anything that didn't make the situation worse. I stepped out into a cold rain that perfectly defined all that had just happened. A cold icy rain had come into what seemed so perfect and so good. I was feeling helpless to do anything about it.

I walked two streets where I could get a taxi. As we moved through the morass of London traffic I became more and more distraught. Upon arriving at hospital I entered and was headed down a hall when my eye caught an elderly couple sitting together holding hands.

"What are you doing?" I asked myself. "Emily needs you and you have left her alone. Have you got corn flakes for brains?" From some unknown quarter something my dad had told me once came to mind. He told me the biggest mistake he ever made was not going to London to bring Mum back to Portwenn.

I reversed my field, ran back outside and actually found the same taxi who had just dropped me off. "I need you to take me back to the other side of the park where you picked me up."

"Mate, it's all a fare to me. But I can tell you after I drop you, I'm finished for the night. This bloody weather has won the match."

I phoned the department where I was expected. With no explanation attempted, I simply said that there was no way I could make it. I would have to deal with the repercussions later.

"Damn, the line is busy," I said to myself as I tried Emily's mobile. I attempted to leave a message, "Emily, I hope you receive this. I want you to know I am on my way back. The traffic is a mess but I am coming."

James leaned over and gave me a quick kiss. He arose and put on his topcoat after wrapping the tartan scarf I had given him around his neck. With a quick "I love you Emily. I will talk with you in the morning." he was out the door and down the stairs.

I thought the day could not possibly get worse and it just had. The row was terrible and then James leaves without hardly another word. I had to call my mom. Between sobs I was able to tell her the whole rotten mess.

"Emily. Emily. Slow down and calm down. Let's talk about this. I thought something terrible had happened. Maybe you or James had been injured or suffered a medical emergency."

"Mom, this is terrible. It is the worst!

"No Love, this is far from the worst. But I do understand you are terribly confused and upset. I really do understand. I am truly sorry Sweetheart. You probably are still weak as a kitten from that bad cold."

"I feel so alone. James left me to go to the hospital. Why can't you be here?"

As I looked toward the kitchen sink I saw my life right now. There was a roach crawling over unrinsed dishes. Then my mom really capped it off.

"I'm curious Emily. With everything else, is it that time of the month?"

"Mom, how could you? That's what my insensitive fiance asked. Can you believe it?"

"James blew it, obviously, but I am your mother. Are you?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"Sweetheart, I won't say this is nothing. I won't say you don't feel like you are under the flush. I will say that you will come out of this and be OK on the other side of it. Tell me about your school situation."

So far I was not feeling better. Our talks always helped me but whatever I hoped for was not happening. But I did not want to be alone so I kept her on the line. Suddenly there was a knocking on the door.

"Mom, just a minute. Don't hang up. Someone is at the door."

"Yes, who is it?"

"Emily, it's me, James. Please let me come in."

"James, what are you doing here? You have a key. I am on the phone with my mother." I opened the door.

"Emily, can I come in? I did not want to presume."

"Well, yes I suppose so. Why aren't you at the hospital. Wait, let me ring off with Mom."

"Mom. I can't believe this. James just arrived. I don't know what's going on. He is supposed to be at the hospital and now he is back here. I will call you back."

Then my mother said, "Emily, whatever happens, you bite your tongue. OK? You bite your tongue."