CHAPTER NINETEEN REMEMBRANCE
The Characters, places and situations of Doc Martin are owned by Buffalo Pictures. This story makes no claim of remuneration or ownership, nor do I make any attempt to infringe upon any rights of the owners or producers.
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CHAPTER NINETEEN
Slowly I opened my eyes to a room with daylight coming through the shades. Why am I on the sofa? I looked around and there was James's topcoat over the wooden chair. The flat was straight and the kitchen was clean. I began to recall the night, but my need for the loo overrode all of that. I peeked in and James was asleep on my bed. I attempted to attend to matters as quietly as possible so as not to disturb him.
Walking back into the kitchen I decided to put water on for tea. Then it hit me. I had told Mom I would call her back. Without a thought as to the time I dialed her number.
"Emily, is that you? Are you alright?" There was anxiousness in her gravelly voice. I quickly quelled any fears and told her that things had settled considerably after James returned. I spilled some water so took a paper towel and wiped it. I opened the bin to toss it and there it was on top. A dead roach.
"The roach is dead Mom. The roach is dead!"
"Well, good. I don't like the live ones. Emily, what in the world are you going on about?"
"James did not attend to the emergency at the hospital. He came back here. He brushed my hair."
"Well that certainly clarifies everything. So the monsters of last night have been slain?"
"Oh no Mom, I wouldn't say that. They just do not seem as big this morning."
"Tell you what Emily. You call me after lunch and give me a full report. And I was thinking after you called last night. Why don't you go visit your mémé and pépé
for a couple of days and take James with you? After lunch Emily. Call me after lunch. Just to orient you, this is waaaay before breakfast."
We rang off and I noted the time. "Oh my gosh," I thought. "It is three in the morning at home." Maybe I shouldn't call and apologize just now.
I decided to make us some breakfast. Maybe look in on James first. I quietly entered the room and lay down on top of the covers looking at his peaceful face. My mind and heart traveled to last night.
I was so confused when he returned. I asked him why since he was needed at the hospital.
He said, "Emily, I told them I could not make it. I need to be here with you. I will not leave tonight. You may not even want me here, but I am here. I will sleep on the sofa, but you will not be alone tonight."
What could I do but thank him, but it did trouble me. I told him he needed to do his job and I would be fine. I actually told him he should go back to the hospital. He probably thought I did not want him with me. I did not want him to feel he had to neglect his duty because of me or worse get censured for what he had done.
"Emily, my duty goes beyond my job. I am where I need to be and want to be and you are stuck with me for the night."
At that point James said he thought I would feel better with a hot shower. So that is what I did. I took a bit of time under the hot water trying to wash away this horrible day. Finishing up I put on my pale blue flannel pyjamas, comfy on this cold night. When I went back with James, he was sitting on the sofa.
He asked me to bring my brush and so I sat with my back to him. He began to run the brush through my hair. It was something I so enjoyed him doing. It was always so relaxing. I suppose tonight he knew I really needed it. I felt each stroke as it coursed over my scalp and down my long hair. He continued long after the tangles were gone. He brushed and he brushed and he brushed. The shower had washed the outside but now my tears began to wash the inside. At one point James lifted my hair and kissed me gently on my neck just below my right ear. And then he continued to brush. I heard him sniff. Was it possible he was crying? And he stroked my hair with the brush, over and over and over.
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Talk would come later. Maybe much later. Now I just wanted Emily to relax and go to sleep. Tomorrow would be a better day. Brushing her hair was such a pleasure. I watched as the brush slowly moved through her beautiful auburn hair. Gradually the tangles gave way and I continued to brush the wet and soft hair that adorned the woman I loved more than life itself. The topography of love is appreciation of the most subtle and small things that are a part of a person you truly care for. Her beautiful tiny ears. The flow of her neck as it moves into the soft pyjamas. The small mole just below her right ear. I lifted her hair and kissed that mole as I often do. Funny how one small mole can represent the whole of a person. My mum has a mole on her collar bone. If it were to be removed I think I would require a DNA test to verify her identity.
I realized that as I brushed her hair Emily was silently weeping. I would not violate her thoughts with words. Suddenly I realized I had tears in my own eyes.
I could not explain it, but neither could I prevent them from coming. It reminds me of the day Emily had a cry and I asked her what was wrong. She said that she had no idea. Well here I was crying with her and I could not explain it.
I laid the brush down and pulled her close to me. I gently and quietly sang,
If ever I would leave you
It wouldn't be in summer.
Seeing you in summer I never would go.
Your hair streaked with sun-light,
Your lips red as flame,
Your face with a lustre
that puts gold to shame!
But if I'd ever leave you,
It couldn't be in autumn.
How I'd leave in autumn I never will know.
I've seen how you sparkle
When fall nips the air.
I know you in autumn
And I must be there.
And could I leave you
running merrily through the snow?
Or on a wintry evening
when you catch the fire's glow?
If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I'm bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! not in spring-time!
Summer, winter or fall!
No, never could I leave you at all!*
It was not I who succumbed to the day this night. Emily was all but asleep and after a few minutes was breathing deeply. After awhile I laid her back onto a pillow on the sofa and covered her with two blankets. She did respond to my goodnight kiss but barely. I spent a bit of time straightening and cleaning, especially in the kitchen, and then I retired to her bed.
Before sleeping I called my close friend and colleague Arthur**. He was just coming off a three day arduous rotation.
"Artie I hate asking you to do this but I need to do it for Emily's sake. It is important."
"Hey James, glad to do it. We are bound to find time to sleep sometime in this life. Emily needs you. Be back Tuesday. I can't do two jobs."
"I owe you one mate."
"James, your account is always paid in full. I've got a break and can catch some sleep. See you next week."
With that I laid down on a pillow that had the scent of my Emily on it. If it were not simply the presence of her scent... No, better not go there. My weariness was not that far behind Emily's and so I quickly slipped into a very peaceful an deep sleep
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James opened his eyes and looked at me. He is always immediately chipper and he said, "Good morning Emily. You're looking peaceful this morning."
I felt cozy next to him and I thanked him. "Thank you for coming back last night. It means a lot to me James. I slept so well after you put me to sleep. I have been up a bit and thought I would make us some breakfast. Oh, and I spoke with Mom. She thought it would be good if I went to visit my grandparents in Bruges for a couple of days. I wish you could go with me."
"I would love to go. When do we leave?"
"Wait James. You have a rota to attend to."
"No. I do not. Arthur said he would cover it so we can be together."
"But how could you know about Bruges? I didn't even know!"
"Is wasn't about a trip Emily. It is about being with you while you are off work."
With that comment I took his head in my hands and placed a kiss on him that I do not think he will soon forget.
When he came up for air he said, "You remember what you told me on that cliff ledge when we were kids. You said you were going to marry me. Don't ever think I am going to let you off the hook."
"Do not worry about that James Henry Ellingham. I will marry you, but first I will make us breakfast."
"I hope you have some of the good Tiptree Marmalade."
"There will always be marmalade for you my Paddington Bear."
"Always?"
"Yes James, Always!"
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*If Ever I Would Leave You From the musical Camelot by Jay Lerner. One might wonder how James knows alike this. Having taken lessons from Roger Fenn James was quite adept at playing the guitar. He had asked Roger to teach him some really good songs he could sing to Emily. There was You Are So Beautiful by Ray Charles and You are the Sunshine of My Life. But tonight this one from an old American musical seemed to say what was on his heart.
**"Arthur" is Arthur Couch who was the boy James bloodied on the playground when he tripped his sister in primary school. They became quite close friends and in this chapter you can see they are colleagues in medical school. So...wanna hear that story?