Bella's POV
I wake up the next morning confused. Why am I in Josh's bed and where the hell is Sam? I get up and creep to the extra room and Sam is still asleep which means Josh is downstairs on the couch.
I'm starving; I don't think I've eaten since yesterday afternoon. I'm surprised the baby isn't kicking the crap out of me demanding food. Do I stay in the room until someone comes to find me, or wake Sam up or just go downstairs and make something to eat?
I decide to just go downstairs, it's not like I can avoid Josh forever. I walk quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen and discover this is absolutely nothing to make. Nothing, not even bread.
"You know I always order in or go out sweetheart, do you want me to go get you something?" Josh comes into the kitchen.
"Um, no it's fine. I'll just go wake Sam up and we can get something when we leave." I tell him and start to walk away but he grabs my hand. He hasn't touched me since the last time we kissed.
"Josh, don't." And he lets go.
"Bella, I want Sam in my life. I want you in my life too but you don't seem to want that but Sam does. But you have this hold on him; he'll go back to hating me if you ask him too. Can't we just try to be, I don't know, friends?" He asks and I laugh because it sounds so high school.
"I can't be friends with you; I can't be this close to you and not want to…" I stop talking before I say or do something stupid.
"Want to what Bella?"
"Kiss you, touch you, be with you." I whisper.
"You can do anything you want to me Bella."
"She hates me." I tell him.
"Who hates you sweetheart? Ali?" I figured Sam would have told him about yesterday but I guess not.
"Stop calling her that. Stop calling her Ali like she means something to you. I'm supposed to mean something to you! I don't mean anything to anyone. My mom hates me!" I yell at him then start crying.
"Bella you mean more to me in the little time I've known you than Ali ever did. I'm sorry Alison, I'll call her Alison, it's just I never called her that, to me Ali isn't special, it's just what I called her. And why do you think your mom hates you?"
"I went to see her, that's why we're here. We were there and she said me and my dad were the biggest mistakes she'd ever made and that she never loved me. She has a daughter; I have a sister I'll never know."
"I'm so sorry Bella. Is this my fault? Did you find her because of me?"
"In a way I guess. Sam and my dad and Sue thought I needed closure because I see her in you and I hate you even though I don't and everyone thinks I can't really hate you because you didn't do anything to me you left Sam not me but Sam is such a big part of me and I thought we were in it together and then he's all oh I love my dad but I still hated you. So he took me to see her and they're right, she's not you because you feel bad and you love him. She's happy without with and she never loved me." I'm going on and on and I don't even realize he's moving towards me until he's holding me and I'm crying into him. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to get so close to you."
"Once again sweetheart, you can do anything you want to me. I will be anything you want or need me to be. I don't care if you cry on me; I don't care if you hate me and scream at me, you can hit me if you want. Whatever makes you feel better. I am so sorry about your mom; she always was kind of a bitch. Always acted like she was better than Ali and, sorry Alison and Sue and Sarah."
"It's weird that you know my mom and I don't." He laughs and says a lot of this is weird.
"Please let me get you breakfast Bella, there is a place down the road that has anything imaginable for breakfast. I'll get Sam something too and then you can leave if you want." He's trying really hard to be nice so I'm about to tell him fine when Sam comes into the kitchen and kisses the top of my head and says good morning to Josh.
"The only thing she ever eats for breakfast is half a banana and blueberry yogurt with French vanilla coffee. She pretty much hates all the other poor breakfast foods." Sam tells him.
"I brought you pancakes that week." He tells me and I shrug and tell him I wasn't going to be rude but I threw most of them away when he walked away.
"She's very picky." Sam tells Josh and I tell him to shut up. "She likes pineapple and pepperoni pizza and orange chicken and anything chocolate. She likes salad made of only spinach leaves with cheese and ranch and gold fish though, that's pretty gross. And cheeseburgers but only the ones from the diner and pretty much anything covered in cheese. That's pretty much what she lives off of. She was a bit too spoiled as a child I think."
"Do you not know what shut up means?" I whine at him and he sticks his tongue out at me.
They both go to get breakfast while I take a shower and when I get out I realize I don't have any clothes unless I want to put on my dirty clothes so I scream for Sam and he brings me some of Josh's without even asking.
While it's annoying how well he knows me sometimes, most of the time it's really nice.
I get downstairs and Josh stares at me for a minute before he hands me my half of a banana and my blueberry yogurt.
"They had this at the place?" I ask Sam and he said no they went to the grocery store too. "Sam I'm sorry, you could've have gotten me anything, I would have eaten it. I don't mean to be so picky."
"Bella don't worry about it, you need to eat. You don't eat nearly enough, I wasn't going to get you something you weren't going to eat." Sam tells me and I feel bad, I don't mean to be picky and spoiled.
"Can I taste your eggs?" I ask Josh, I hate eggs but they smell amazing. He gives me a bite and they taste amazing. Stupid baby, messing with everything I know.
"Do you want them sweetheart?" He asks and I tell him no, I'm not going to steal his food. "Eat them." He pushes them at me.
"You barely ate." I push them back.
"I'm not pregnant, please Bella?" So I eat them.
"Bella can we stay here for a while today? Josh wants to show me a car he's been working on. Please?" Sam asks me and he looks so hopeful I tell him fine, he loves cars and I know he's happy to have Josh back in his life. Sam goes upstairs to take a shower.
"Thank you Bella, you can hang out and watch TV or break stuff, whatever you want." He jokes and I glare at him. I might break something, might be fun. "Sam got you salad stuff and cookies and ice cream and milk and some other stuff even though he wasn't sure you were going to want to stay." Josh tells me and I tell him yeah that sounds like Sam, always taking care of me. "I could take care of you sweetheart." He holds his hand out to me and I take it, he helps me up and then takes my other hand. "I could take care of you and this baby if you would only trust me. I know it's hard because I walked out on Sam and Alison and you have trust issues but I love you." He leans in to kiss me but I back away.
"If you want me to be around you for the sake of Sam and the baby, who I'm thinking about naming Jason by the way, then you can't be trying to kiss me."
"I'm sorry Bella, and I like Jason. I should go shower."
"Josh wait," He turns and I want so badly to hold him, kiss him but I don't. "When are you moving to Forks?" I ask instead, he tells me in two weeks and then leaves the kitchen so I go sit on the couch and cry until Sam comes downstairs.
"What did he do Bella? We can leave." Sam comforts me.
"He tried to kiss me, it's not a big deal. We don't have to leave. Go have fun with your stupid car obsession. I'm probably going to find some mind numbing movie on TV or something. We can't leave to late though, I have to make my plans for the week OK?" He says OK then goes outside. I turn the TV on and end up watching a Criminal Minds marathon all day.
Which is why when Josh comes into tell me they are going to pick up dinner I scream.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you sweetheart, I didn't realize you were so jumpy." He tells me and Sam comes in laughing, saying only when I watch this show.
I try to convince Sam we really need to go home and he convinces me we will leave right after dinner. They go pick up Chinese food and we watch one more episode of Criminal Minds. I am so not sleeping tonight.
Before we leave I tell Josh my next appointment is in two weeks, it's not a big deal, just routine stuff. I kind of feel bad he missed the ultrasound.
He hugs me goodbye and tells me if I need anything at all to please tell him.