Murdock was awakened by a kick that almost chucked him out of bed.

Face beside him struggled in his sleep. He looked as if he tried to keep something away from him. Well, rather someone. He moved his lips as if he were saying something, but didn't make a sound. Murdock tried to read from Face's lips, but couldn't.

Another push.

"Face?" Murdock reached for Face's shoulder and shook to wake him up.

Face woke with a forceful push that did chuck Murdock out of bed. "M-Murdock?" he asked guiltily, right afterwards. "You ok?"

Murdock sat up, propped his elbows on the bed and smiled mischievously. "All bones intact," he informed wryly.

"I'm sorry, I..."

"I guess you didn't do it on purpose. Or so I hope."

"It was just, you... you..."

"I disturbed you in your nightmare," Murdock helped out.

Face blushed and lowered his head. He hated admitting it, but denying didn't make much sense at the moment.

"You wanna tell me about it?" Murdock asked, before he heaved himself back into bed.

"Not really, actually."

"I figure, you should anyway. Talking about it helps."

"Guess that's why you talk so much about your dreams, right?"

The statement stung. But Murdock was determined not to let it get him down. Personalities exchanged inside him, and a more cunning contact-holder took over. "My dreams don't toss other people out of bed at night," that person said.

"Easy claim to make when you don't usually share your bed. Besides, how d'you wanna know talking helps if you don't do it?"

"I might have done it in the past."

"But not now." Face insisted.

Face was doing it again, Murdock realised. "Stop doing that," he demanded, "stop twisting my words until they fit with your defences. We're not discussing me now. You had the nightmare, not me."

"This time", Face amitted, and that only because it worked as an attack as well.

Murdock had to think quickly if he wanted to stay ahead of this conversation. "This time is the only thing that counts right now. So, can we get back to your dream now?"

"Can't remember saying I'd talk about it."

"Neither do I, but I won't leave you alone till you do."

"You're stubborn."

"Running out of arguments?"

"No. Just stating facts." But he was running out of arguments and buying himself some time.

"Face?" Another personality-exchange taking place. The person in charge now was chiefly caring.

Face reacted to it immediately: He sighed, drew up his legs, folded his arms around them and sighed again. "I was dreaming about one of the last days. They... They wanted me to..." He struggled for words. "They ordered me to... But I couldn't. It was... Oh, Murdock, how shall I say it?"

"With the words the English language provides."

"They expected me to... rape a girl. I didn't do it, just couldn't. I... I bet she's dead now. I bet they killed her. Raping a little Viet-girl is not that amusing, I guess. Doing it to me was much more fun, I bet."

Murdock prudently kept his mouth shut. Any word would have been the wrong one now. He was aware that Face wasn't really talking about his dream, but at least he was talking.

"She looked at me, when they dragged her away. I've never seen so much gratitude in anybody's eyes before." Face's voice sounded thick with tears, but his eyes were dry. "They made me regret. They tried to make me regret. But I don't. I'll never regret I've been human."

Cautiously Murdock moved beside Face. He felt Face should cry all these tears at last. He shouldn't bottle them up anymore. He put his arm around Face's shoulders to comfort him. And already while he was doing it, he scolded himself for being so stupid. Of course Face would jump and the mood would be spoiled. But somehow he couldn't stop himself doing it.

Surprisingly Face did not jump. He tensed up for a second, but that was it. His thoughts had trailed off: "Talk about it, hm, Murdock?"

"Yes."

Face turned his head to look at Murdock.

A silence fell between them. "Murdock, I appreciate your intentions, I really do. But there's nothing you could possibly do for me. You just don't understand what they did."

"I guess I do," Murdock contradicted tenderly.

"No, Murdock." Face turned away, not angrily though and still accepting Murdock's arm around him. He was simply making a statement. "You think you do. And in theory that may be even so, but theory is miles and miles and miles from reality. - - - Imagine hands, thousands of hands. They're... ripping you open. They're tearing you into pieces. They're... They're laughing over you. They spit on you, they..." Face left the sentence unfinished. Some more information, he felt, Murdock didn't need to know. "Every touch is painful or nauseating, many times both. I've had enough touches for the rest of my life."

Murdock was still considering what to do or say next, when Face relieved him of the decision. He leaned in on Murdock, just a little bit, but Murdock noticed, and he tightened his hug, also just a little bit. He didn't want to ask too much of Face.

"Remember the day they took me?" Face asked softly.

Murdock stifled a snort; how could he forget? That was the day his heart – and finally his sanity – broke.

"Remember, I told you to take care of Hannibal."

"As if he needed to be taken care of," Murdock whispered his answer.

"Well, he's human."

"True."

"And I don't know, if I got that look, you gave me in return, right... You promised me... something..." It came out rather as a question than as a statement.

"I promised you to be there for you," Murdock confirmed.

"Is that still up?"

"A promise is a promise, Face. I stick to my word."

"Maybe... I've been thinking. You know, you annoyed me a lot that other night, but you were right. If I let them affect the rest of my life... Maybe... maybe I... I..." Face took a deep breath. "God, this is really hard to say, Murdock. I... need... help." He looked to the door, as far away from Murdock as possible. Hannibal was right. It was almost impossible for him to ask for help. It was so hard for him to admit needs. "You won't ever hurt me, Murdock, will you?" he asked shakily in direction to the door. He felt like he was on a silver tray, just about to be cut into pieces. "Will you?" He repeated anxiously, when Murdock didn't answer right away.

Murdock reached for Face's chin, and turned his head, so he could look him in the eyes, when he told him that he'd rather die than hurt him. Hurt him again, as his heart insisted. So big eyes, pleading for understanding, pleading for a little comfort. These eyes, they looked so strange and they looked so familiar.

"I would never, never hurt you, Face. You are much too important to me. Don't you know?"

Face cast his eyes down so he wouldn't have to look into Murdock's muddling eyes. "These days I don't know too many things anymore."

"Know this: I'll be always there for you, come what may. I'll never hurt you, come what may. I'll always love you." Murdock swallowed his own surprise over these words. He couldn't take them back, he sure wished he could, but...

"Love me... come what may?" Face didn't seem to stumble over that word – love.

"Come what may," Murdock repeated numbly.

"What you mean, you'll always love me?" Face asked, looking up.

Ah, so there we are, just belated cognition. "Well..." Murdock blushed, pulled back his arm and gasped with surprise, when Face – Face! – grabbed his hand to keep his arm right where it was. "I don't know, Face, really. It... It just..." It had just escaped him. He had not intended to say it, had not even known it was there...

"Murdock?"

"I don't know."

Face still held Murdock's hand on his shoulder. He felt so secure in Murdock's arm. No, Murdock would never hurt him, how silly to ask if he would. "Can you hold me? For the rest of the night?"

Murdock raised his eyebrows. Did he hear that or was he hallucinating again? Murdock would have bet his life, Face had never said those words before.

"You don't have to. Sorry, I asked." Face misinterpreted Murdock's silence. He let go of the hand and moved away from Murdock.

"No, no, I'd love to. I was... a little surprised, that's all."

Face looked at Murdock in suspicion. When Murdock nodded, he moved closer. Murdock put both arms around him and pulled him down with him. Face didn't resist it. So now he lay there, close to Murdock, in his arms, being held securely. God, it felt so good to be held. He had forgotten how good.

Murdock lay with Face half beside, half on top of him. He was still tense, but relaxed noticeably. After a moment he trustfully rested his head on Murdock's shoulder, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

All contact-holders vanished into temporary oblivion, and all that was left was Murdock, for the first time in ages at peace with himself and the world. Face's warm, regular breath soothingly brushed his neck, his steady heart-beat against his side becalmed him with an almost hypnotizing rhythm. The refrain of a song drifted through his mind. "Honey, don't you see, I will protect you, I will protect you from all the things they've done to me, I will protect you..." How true. Murdock slipped into half-sleep.

TBC