CHAPTER TWENTY SIX REMEMBRANCE
The Characters, places and situations of Doc Martin are owned by Buffalo Pictures. This story makes no claim of remuneration or ownership, nor do I make any attempt to infringe upon any rights of the owners or producers.
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CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
My love lifts up his voice,
he says to me,
"Come then my beloved,
my lovely one, come.
For see, Winter is past,
The rains are over and gone,
The flowers appear on the earth.
The season of glad songs has come,
The cooing of the turtledove is heard
in our land.
The fig tree is forming its first figs
and the blossoming vines give out their fragrance.
Come then my beloved,
my lovely one, come."*
And thus the passionate ancient poet speaks of the dawning of love between a man and a woman. The Cornish sun saw your love blossom - well it has been some years now, hasn't it? Finally we have all come to witness your commitment to spend the rest of your lives together. We do this in the presence of God and seek his blessing.
With these words I begin the ceremony which will unite my daughter, Emily in marriage to James Ellingham, the son of my good friend Martin and his lovely Louisa. In one sense my mind is a jumble of emotions and yet I am determined to make this day special for them. Suddenly my mind is a cataract of Emily's life. Every tear and tummy ache. Every skinned knee and hurt feeling. Every Christmas morning. Every time I held her on my lap as she went to sleep. Every emergency run to the store before she could go to school. The night she got happy drunk and begged her friends to bring her home, because home was where they always take you in and love you. Every accomplishment and every defeat. Just the sheer joy of having this wonderful child in my life. And with all of the childhood puppy loves and all of the teenage dating and young men who visited us when she was in college - this one, James Henry Ellingham, was the one who she always held in her heart.
I had to stop this whelming flood and get on with the task at hand, one I truly do welcome.
And so I continue.
What a grand day it is. We have assembled to join James Henry Ellingham and Emily Kathleen Jacobs in marriage. I would be remiss if I did not express the gratitude and happiness James and Emily feel over all of you being here to celebrate this special day with them. I know their families are especially grateful for your presence. And of course I am not just talking of your being here today, but the many ways you have touched these two through the years.
Emily and James - here we are. The day has arrived. Your families are so full of pride, they can hardly contain it. We know you come with firm resolve. All of us who are married have stood where you stand and felt as you feel. We stood where you stand, but today it's your turn. It is your special day!
As an expression of your willingness to totally commit yourselves to one another, I invite you to face each other and join hands.
James, will you have Emily to be your wife, to live with her, respect her, and love her as God intends with the promise of faithfulness, tenderness, and helpfulness, as long as you both shall live?
"I will."
Emily, will you have James to be your husband, to live with him, respect him, and love him as God intends with the promise of faithfulness, tenderness, and helpfulness as long as you both shall live?
"I will."
I want you to listen to this poem by Louis de Bernières:
Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
Well I hope I have your attention. You may not, probably won't, remember what I say here, but I'm going to say it anyway.
In this room are your dearest friends and family. They love you and want the best for you
That is why we are here today.
But everyone here who is married will tell you that making a life together is not a piece of cake.
The honeymoon will end and there will be work to do.
There will be good times and there will be bad times.
You need to know that there is another thing we married folks would agree on. It is worth it, really worth it.
We know well the verse of the old hymn Amazing Grace:
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
We have already come.
Tis grace has brought us safe thus far,
And grace will lead us home.
The grace of their legacy and the grace of God's love will always be yours.
You are about to make some extravagant vows.
To love, comfort, and honor each other to the end of your days.
To cherish each other and be faithful to each other always.
You will promise to do these things not just when you feel like it, but even
-for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health-
when you don't feel like it at all.
You are giving away your freedom.
You are taking on each other's burdens.
So what do you get in return?
You get each other in return.
You never have to face the world quite alone again.
There will always be one with whom you can talk and to whom you can listen.
You will have a kindness and patience to depend on and in turn you will have the chance to be patient and kind.
There is someone to get through the night with,
And to wake into the new day beside.
You will both have your lives apart, as well as life together.
You both still have separate ways to find.
But a marriage made in heaven is one where a man and woman become more richly themselves together than the chances are either of them could have ever managed to become alone.
I really believe that when Jesus changed the water into wine at the wedding in Cana of Galilee, it was a way of saying the same thing.***
And it was time for their spoken vows. Believing that the traditional vows from the Prayer Book were both complete and profound James and Emily chose them. And we all listened.
I James, take you Emily to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.
I Emily, take you James to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.
As lovers have done for generations - you are exchanging rings. I know rings are spoken of as metaphors of eternal love and beauty, and I suppose they are that. But remember that the beauty of these rings came about because of heat and pressure. I say that so you will know that your love will grow more beautiful as you face life together.
It was at this point as I received the rings from the best man and the maid of honor that there was a twitter of laughter that coursed through the congregation. We were to learn later that the flower girl had hiked up her dress and scratched her bottom. Things settled quickly and James and Emily exchanged the symbols of their commitment to each other. I was moving toward the end with a prayer.
Let us pray.
Eternal God, creator and preserver of all life, author of love and giver of all grace. Look with favor upon the world you have made, and especially upon Emily and James who you make one flesh in holy matrimony.
Give them wisdom and devotion in their ordering of their common life that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow and a companion in joy.
Grant that their wills may be so knit together that they may grow in love and peace with you and one another all the days of their lives.
Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other's forgiveness and yours.
Bestow on them the gift and heritage of children.
Give such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others.
Grant that all married persons who have witnessed these vows may find their lives strengthened and their loyalties confirmed.
And Giver of All Good Gifts, pour out the abundance of your blessing upon Emily and James. Defend them from every enemy. Lead them into all peace. Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders and a crown upon their heads. Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows...and in all their days may they know the presence of your love. AMEN
I had an inward sigh of relief as I spoke to everyone.
Now that James and Emily have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and hearts, and the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce that they are husband and wife.
Those whom God has joined together, may no person or force ever separate.
AMEN
Well, there you are! Seems to me it would be good if you two lovers would seal your words with a kiss.
The organ was well into Handel's Water Music when these two came up for air from their embrace and I could present them to the congregation. Recessionals are never slow. James and Emily were down the aisle quickly with little Mary Ann following, probably wishing she had more flowers to throw on people. Joan took Arthur's arm as they followed. Families followed according to protocol and I was standing alone. Before dismissing the people I said,
James and Emily invite you all to join them at the Village Hall for a time of celebration.
Instead of booking a hotel for their reception, James and Emily wanted a place where all would be comfortable and the Village Hall filled the bill perfectly. Emily told me James had said that this was not about show but about celebrating with their friends. Emily, Natalie and Louisa had to agree with James so all the swishy places were off the list. Since 1895 the Village Hall has seen gatherings of celebration and decision. It held many memories for the Ellinghams and their neighbors.
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It was such a lovely evening. No one seemed in a hurry to leave. People milled and visited and congratulated the newly weds. Children at play could be heard. Some of the boys had slipped away to the churchyard. It was decided to go ahead and transport Ruth, Hamish, Eleanor and Terry to the Hall. Natalie and Louisa were bubbling with pride and excitement. Martin was attempting to avoid the unavoidable, a good many wanting to engage him in conversation, congratulatory and otherwise. People coming to him with ailments was pretty rare now.
Suddenly there was a ruckus in the cemetery. Matthew Wilcox came running saying that Thomas Boskano was hurt. Mr. Boskano hurried in that direction as did his wife and not a few others. Louisa was heard to say, "Where there are Ellinghams, there will be a medical emergency." Martin thought it best to check this out. He asked James to retrieve his medical case from the car. Martin always had it close at hand even though we was not in active practice.
It turns out that the boys had been jumping from gravestone to gravestone and Thomas, the Boskano's youngest, had overshot the mark and came down, injuring his foot or ankle. Martin determined that it was a bad sprain at best and perhaps a simple fracture. Requiring an X-ray, a trip to Truro or Bodmin would have to be made. It was obvious the Boskano's were none to pleased about this state of affairs. Not paying any attention to the presence of the crowd Mr. Boskano really gave it to his son.
"What were you thinking? How many times have you been told not to walk on graves? It is a desecration! We will deal with this at home, young man."
It seems he was much more upset about his son's disrespect for the dead than that he had injured himself. He would take Thomas for medical attention and Mrs. Boskano, who was known to most as Miss Mandie, would take the children and go to the party.
It seemed best that we all move on to the Village Hall. There was no guarantee that the young boys would not find even more devilment to get into there, but it was time to celebrate.
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"People, people, people - it is time for the first dance. Come on James and Emily."
Even with a microphone it was difficult to hear above the din of conversation filling the hall. Our music man kept talking and finally people began to settle and gather around the dance floor.
Emily and I made our way to the middle. The music began and we moved to the beautiful waltz which had been our choice for our dance. Toward the end Emily looked at me with eyes of passion. "Oh James, I love you so much." And with that began a kiss that was not at all chaste. We actually stopped dancing and simply embraced. It seems were were in a trance as we became lost in the kiss.
Then we heard a voice from the side, clearly Uncle Al. "Hey, you two, what are you saving for the honeymoon?"
It seems Mr. Bert would always be with us.
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*From the Hebrew Bible, Song of Songs 2:12-13
**By Louis de Bernières in Captain Corelli's Mandolin
***These thoughts are from Frederick Beuchner. The formal parts of this ceremony are from The Book of Common Prayer.
This wedding ceremony is in the Anglican/Episcopal tradition. It is the tradition of the Ellinghams and the Jacobs. Emily's father, Luk, is an Episcopal priest in America. A one-size-fits-all ceremony seemed, to this author, to be inappropriate. There is a great attempt in America to homogenize religion and personal beliefs. The brothers on Iona in 795 would not have said all religion is the same as they watched the Viking longboats approaching. It seems important not to diminish differences but to respect and understand differences, and to find common ground. And ultimately whatever our life convictions may be we should listen to what Martin Ellingham and his son would say: Do no harm, treat all with respect and do your job.