Summer Rain
Disclaimer: Not mine... characters are property of ABC
Summary: After Kate's shooting, Castle finds he can't stay away. They discover that nothing clears the air like a summer rain. Co-written with lms2457
A/N: Apologies for the long wait between updates! This was originally meant to be 2-3 chapters, but as you can see, it went crazy from there. Just wanted to get my ducks in a row before I started posting again, so the wait between chapters shouldn't be so long. Thank you for your reviews and patience! :)
Very special thanks to the awesome and miracle-working lms2457. She knows the stuff going on in my head before I do. LOL
Chapter Six
From the moment the words left her mouth, Kate had been waiting for a classic Castle comeback. She had to admit, she was surprised when it didn't come. Still, she wasn't about to pick at him about it, not now. For the first time in a long time, she was relaxed, as she was more than happy to stay that way. With him.
It had been easier to let go than she had ever expected that it would be; to step back from the case, from the driving force of her life. She had expected it to leave her scared and anxious, and more than a little at loose ends. Instead, she found herself calm, and even a little playful. Which was more than she could say for her suddenly too quiet partner.
"You feeling all right?" she asked, as she sat down beside him, "You've too quiet over here. It's starting to feel like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, or something."
That earned her a short quick laugh even as Rick reached his arm around her and gently squeezed her shoulder, "I'm great, just enjoying the time with you." He turned so she could see him better, "Besides, you're scary when you're angry. Why would I chance that?"
"I don't know," she said, laughing a little herself. He certainly had a way with words. "It's just... different." She could practically feel the wheels turning in his head when he chuckled quietly. "What?"
"It's nothing," he said, then got up and poured the now-finished popcorn into a bowl. "It's this thing with you and thunderstorms... I haven't quite figured it out yet." He returned to his place beside her and offered the bowl to her, "Popcorn?"
"Castle!" Kate pushed hard on his shoulder, causing some of the popcorn to spill onto his lap, "I said before, I'm not afraid of storms. I've never been afraid of them."
Why is this becoming such a big deal? she thought, then pushed to her feet and paced over to the window. It was dark, but she could make out the lights from the houses in the valley below.
So much had changed in the past few months. Fear was always with her now.. something she hadn't had to deal with for a very long time. And to have him to come in and call her on it was infuriating to say the least.
"And, I believe you," Castle said. "Would you like to know why?" She didn't answer him, but she turned to look at him, waiting for him to continue.
"I had a talk with your dad a while back, and he told me the most adorable story about his three year old daughter who would stare down the darkness rather than take a nightlight. And she didn't sound like the kind of girl to pay any mind at all to a little thunderstorm." He paused, and whether that was for effect, or to allow her to take in his revelation about her father, she would never be certain. "Yet," he finished quietly, "here we are."
"You talked to my Dad?" The words popped out of her mouth without any real thought behind them. With everything they were discussing, that was what her mind got stuck on? Of course they had talked, that was how he had found her, wasn't it?
She saw from Castle's reaction that the words were a surprise to him, too. But then something dark settled into his eyes, something she wasn't sure she had ever seen from him before. "Just...a moment of shared self interest," he said quietly. "Being fathers of daughters and..." She watched as he swallowed, the action seeming difficult. "And you."
Being people who love you, she knew he meant to say. Damn. She turned back to the window, her eyes on the storm. Not for the first time, she wondered just how much damage she's done in all this. To her dad, to her friends, to Castle... Rick. To these people who love her for reasons she sometimes had trouble understanding. A tear slipped down her cheek. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, just be honest." His voice was suddenly a lot closer than it had been, and she felt his hands come to rest at her shoulders.
"I'm fine," she said. But even to her own ears, it sounded weak.
"You're in denial. And that's not just a river in Egypt, you know." For the first time in this conversation, his voice was light, teasing. But she knew he was just as serious as he had been before. Still, she couldn't hold back a quick snort of laughter.
"Really Writer Boy? Is that all you got for me? Seriously Castle, I think that might be the oldest line ever."
She heard the smile in his voice even before she saw faint evidence of it in the reflection of the glass in front of her. "Yeah, well I'm not exactly at my sharpest when I'm scared," he admitted.
She didn't even dare breathe. "Scared?"
"You are hurting, Kate, and I don't know how to help you. That scares me. It scares me plenty. But it's all right to be scared. I know you're afraid, Kate. But you have good reason to be, and you're not alone."
When his hands slipped from around her shoulders to settle around her waist, she knew she would tell him. He pulled her back from the window, from the storm, to settle against him. He was a solid column of strength at her back. She took a deep breath, hoping to steady herself a little. "The thunder... the sound..."
"It's loud, like a gunshot," he finished. He knew, he'd maybe even known all along.
"Yeah," she leaned into him and whispered, "Like a gunshot."
Castle tightened his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. For a few long moments neither of them said anything. But then she heard his voice at her ear.
"You know, I saw it coming. I didn't realize it at first, and God knows, I will always regret that. But I saw the flash off his scope."
She froze in his arms.
"And ever since that morning, sometimes it happens again. It'll be just a glint off somebody's watch, or strobe from the shop window. But there will be a flash just outside my field of vision, and I freeze up. And I don't know what to do. Run, or scream or just find you, or what.
"I'm sorry," she said again, her voice - all of her really - breaking with it, because she did this to him.
He turned her in his arms, and against her own instinct, she didn't fight him. "Look at me."
When she didn't, he tipped her chin up gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for, you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't cause this. It happened to you. To you, and to me, and to all the people who care about you and love you. And it was scary – it was terrifying – for all of us. You have every right to that fear, Kate. We all do."
She let herself be enveloped in his arms, strong and warm and safe. It made everything seem easier, lighter. He always had, and even the thought caused any words she might have offered him in reply to catch in her throat. For the first time since that day, or in years, really, she didn't feel alone.
A sudden crash of thunder broke overhead again, and this time, Kate didn't jump.