Justin was uncharacteristically quiet on the drive, and as Wade was concentrating on the road, Lisa tried to fall asleep in the back seat. Tried, being the operative word. Every times she closed her eyes all she could see was Drew's face, and all she could feel was his touch on her skin, crawling like an insect that she couldn't get rid of. Justin and Wade shared a look, as if they knew something was wrong, but neither said a word.
As she sat behind Wade, she caught his gaze in the rear view mirror and she could see the questions in his eyes, unspoken but she could tell that it was eating at him. She looked away, ashamed. She really didn't think she was going to be able to handle kindness that night, and the last thing she wanted was for anyone to know was what actually happened. Kindness would make her feel more guilty, more dirty and hate herself a little more. She would pretend everything was ok. At very least, she would distract them from worrying about her, as much as she could.
"How long till we get there guys?" She asked, faking a yawn.
"Oh, she rises!" Justin teased, "about twenty minutes honey. How're you feeling?"
She took a deep breath, and then decided to make a joke out of it, "I'm feeling decidedly single. We going for a drink when we get in to celebrate my new found singledom?"
"If that's what you want?" the South African gave a small smile, "I've missed hanging out with you, let's make up for it eh?"
"Definitely, we have a lot of making up for it to do. Especially as you've been skydiving without me haven't you?"
"Sorry, it's addictive, I didn't want to wait, and I thought it might persuade you to come back out with me. Got one booked for next Friday if you're up to it?"
"Hell yes," she gave a genuine smile for once, knowing the adrenaline rush of jumping out of a plane would make her feel a whole lot better.
"Cool. I'll soon get you back into the swing of it."
"You two are bloody insane," Wade's voice rumbled with affection. "Planes are for getting from A to B, not for jumping out of."
"You just need to try it, scaredy cat," Lisa teased. "You'd love it, I promise."
"I'll take your word for that one Lis, I'll be waiting for you on the ground like a normal person."
Lisa's face lit up with momentary happiness, "will you come and watch? That would be awesome."
"Yes, I'll come and watch. But I swear to god that's the closest I'm getting."
"That'll do me."
Lisa sat back, happy to be re-connecting, and to feel somewhat free. Her friends would keep her sane. At very least, they'd keep her distracted.
The feeling, as always, was fleeting. As Drew's words echoed in her head, she started to think that she'd never feel safe again. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, looking aimlessly out of the window as she became lost in her own little world. She wondered if there would be an escape, ever, from what he said, from what he did. She wondered if she would be better off back with him. She wondered if anyone would ever want her again. She wondered if people would hate her if they knew. She wondered, and felt herself drowning in those thoughts.
Wade and Justin again looked at each other, now even more sure that something was wrong with Lisa. They both had been friends with her for a while, Wade was closer to her but she'd been good friends with Justin in FCW: sharing, as they did, a love of extreme sports, as well as a sense of being different, an outsider. Wade and Justin both knew when she was hiding something, although they'd never figured out how to get her to reveal anything before she was ready. Now was one of those times. They understood her enough to know that she would tell them what was in her head when she felt comfortable, so they resolved with unspoken agreement to look after her as much as possible, so when she felt ready they would be there.
When they arrived at their hotel for the evening it was close to midnight, so while Justin and Lisa sorted the check in to their respective rooms, Wade lined up the drinks in the hotel bar. He knew Lisa's moods, and if she didn't want to talk, she would want to get drunk.
Lisa had literally thrown her bags into her room and bounded down the stairs to get back to the bar. As she walked through the lobby she heard a familiar voice and turned slightly, to see him. Drew's Scottish lilt had been the thing that initially attracted her to him, and now it was the thing that sent her into the depths of despair. He saw her looking at him and smiled widely. She shivered and turned away, taking deep breaths to compose herself before walking over to Wade.
A smile plastered on Lisa's face, Wade saw through it immediately, but said nothing. He had found a booth and moved so that she could sit next to him. She grabbed her beer and knocked at least half of it back, placing the glass back on the table and sitting back as relief flowed through her.
"Feel better now?"
"Much. Where the hell's Justin, don't tell me he's doing his hair or something."
Wade chuckled, "he probably is, you know what he's like."
"He's worse than a woman," she laughed, "at least you're not vain."
"Hey, number 31 most beautiful," he protested with a smile, "don't forget that."
"Handsome devil," she teased, snuggling up close to him and resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. "Thank you."
"For what?" Idly, he stroked up and down her arm, revelling in the feeling of her soft skin underneath his fingers.
"For not asking. For being here. For buying me that drink."
"Next round's on you. And you'll tell me when you're ready."
The confidence in his voice made her laugh, despite everything, "you're right, as always."
"Of course I am. And here he is, Prince Charming himself."
Justin grinned as he took a seat opposite. "I was like five minutes, I just had to do my hair."
Lisa and Wade burst out laughing. "We guessed," Lisa grinned and shook her head, "I'm surprised it only took five minutes, knowing you."
"You're so mean to me."
"You're so easy to be mean to."
Lisa found herself relaxing within the easy banter that flowed between them, and the drinks flowed in fine style. It appeared that quite a few members of the Smackdown roster had had the same idea, and the atmosphere in the bar was pretty good. Lisa felt Drew's eyes on her a few times as she sat chatting, but she let it pass her by. He couldn't, and wouldn't, do anything in a room full of people.
Her phone had been vibrating a lot over the last hour or so, but she hadn't bothered checking it as every person she was bothered about hearing from was in the room with her anyway. Wade and Justin were a good distraction. Eventually she pulled her phone out of her jeans pocket to check the time and saw there were 7 new messages. Opening them up, each was short, maybe a word or two, but she immediately knew who they were from. She looked up to see him smirking.
She quickly deleted the texts, not wanting Wade to look over her shoulder and see what Drew had been saying to her. Her good mood had quickly deflated and she felt that now familiar feeling of shame descend. As if he knew something was wrong, Wade's arm around her tightened a little, so she forced a smile and turned to look at him.
"I'm gonna go to bed, it's late and I promised Nat I'd train with her tomorrow."
He just looked at her, those piercing eyes asking unspoken questions, clouded with worry.
She couldn't lie to him. "OK, I just had some shitty texts from him, and I wanna get out of here."
Anger flashed in those eyes. "What did he say?"
"It doesn't matter." She'd never tell. What Drew had said felt like too close to the truth for her to deal with. "Honestly, don't worry about it. He was never going to take ending it well, was he?"
"I'll walk you to your room." She went to argue but he held up a hand, "I'm done for tonight anyway, Justin looks like he's catching up with Heath so..."
Knowing an argument was pointless, she nodded. He kept his arm around her shoulder as they gave their excuses and left. Justin and Wade shared a look that expressed concern, Wade nodding at Justin's silent request for him to look after Lisa.
They didn't say a word all the way to the room, but Lisa was unsurprised when Wade followed her in. He didn't need to say a word, he just pulled her close to him and held her as she started sobbing. She didn't know how he could tell, but he always knew just what she needed. He gently stroked her hair, not saying a word as she let out her frustration. He knew better than to whisper any kind words, than to offer her sympathy, or kindness. That would send her back into her shell. He would give her only as much as he knew she would accept. So he held her and waited until she was silent, before giving her the freedom to step away if she wanted. As she pulled away from him, looking up at him with such pain and hurt in his eyes he felt a chill and a sense of loss, at not having her in his arms.
"Thank you."
"You know where I am if you need anything, ok?"
Lisa nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow."
She double locked the door behind him. Now that she was on her own, the voices in her head couldn't be silenced. She stood under scalding hot water in the shower, scrubbing her skin. She might not see his touch on her, but she could feel it, and she wondered if that feeling would ever go away.