Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders or the song Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

A/N: Sorry for such the long wait. I'm really trying to bust my ass with this rewrite and I needed to just step away from this while I did it so I wouldn't get distracted and this chapter was too big for me to just quickly write.

In other news, I started my last year of high school last week! Woooo!

I won't miss all of the fighting that we always did. Take it in, I mean what I say when I say there is nothing left. No more sick whiskey dick, no more battles for me. You'll be calling a trick, 'cause you'll no longer sleep. I'll dress nice, I'll look good, I'll go dancing alone. I will laugh, I'll get drunk, I'll take somebody home.

I walk through the park. I tighten my jacket when a crisp wind blows against me. It's supposed to be spring so why the sudden drop in temperature? I had to drag out my warm stuff from under my bed to wear today.

I can see him over on a bench beside the monkey bars. There are only a couple of kids here now and I suppose we'll probably leave and go to the lot because of the high number. I don't think he expected so many kids to be here today at this hour.

I stare at my feet once I get closer. There are some earthy moms sitting around watching me instead of watching their children eating sand just a few feet away from them. They give me nasty looks once they see where I'm headed. All mothers have this sixth sense about trouble and people. They see him and know who I am too.

I stand in front of him now. He's smoking and looking out at the kids on the swings. He has his self-worthy smirk on and the smoke from his cigarette is making my mouth water for something stronger than that.

What am I supposed to say? I just stand and wait but he doesn't say anything. I sit beside him and cross my legs and stare in the opposite direction. I can feel my stomach do a flip and I'm craving hot dogs from the cart on the street.

Dally moves a little and his knee touches mine. I look down at it, warm and sticky.

"You cut your hair," he observes, still not looking at me.

"You got bigger," I say back, staring at his new biceps. "Why the park?"

He doesn't answer for a long time and I go back to watching two siblings fight over a doll they brought with them. One's a boy and the other is a girl and they keep fighting until their older brother comes along and breaks them up by snatching the doll and throwing it across the park, making them cry.

"Heard about Superman," he says and I look at him again. He's facing forward now, watching the kids too. "Can't really call him Superman now."

"He's doing alright," I say quietly. "He's doing treatments. They're going to remove a big part of his leg. They think he'll live though."

He nods like he's saying: 'oh, good news'. Dally would never say that though.

"How's Pone an' Sodapop doin'?"

I look down at my feet and act interested in them instead of him. "Fine."

"Ain't seen nobody since I've been out," he tells me. "Not the gang. Not Shepard. No one. You're the first. Outta feel pretty darn special, huh?"

I kick the dirt under me and hide my face with my hair. I can feel him staring at me. "Yeah. Sure."

I tuck my hair behind my ear and listen to the kids scream and Dally cringe. I'm still wondering why he chose the park but I don't ask him again. My legs feel funny. 'It's just Dally', I keep telling myself over and over again.

"Hey, Curtis, let's get outta here, man. Too many fucking kids." He stands up and brushes himself off and waits for me to follow him and I do.

I walk behind him the whole way over to the lot. I'm hoping no one sees me but I'm too cold to notice if anyone is watching us. From behind him, I can see how much larger he's gotten. He usually is bigger right after he gets out.

I can't help but feel my mouth water as I stare at him from behind. His butt and broad shoulders turn me on and I know how wrong it is to say this, but I can't help but want him on top of me...naked.

I shake my head. I can't think that.

He takes me over to the lot and sneers as I walk to meet him across the field. We sit on a bench and there's no one around. He's close to me and I'm starting to sweat a little and I feel angry and vulnerable all at the same time and as much as I want to punch him in the face, I have an urge to puke and kiss him all at the same time.

I look up and he's staring at me. My heart falls a little as we make eye contact for the first time and I feel like I'm really looking at him. For the first time I can look in his eyes. I can see those sharp, blue, murderous eyes.

He pulls my head to him, cupping my face. I can feel his satisfied smirk as our lips touch.

His lips feel warm but the thought of him touching me is all that's on my mind. What he told me is still on my mind. The fact that a 'murderer' is kissing me is my only thought. I suddenly pull away and tuck my hair behind my ear.

I hide my face from him, not wanting to see him or those eyes right now and I feel weak and disgusting and terrified, all at the same time.

He takes out two cigarettes and gives me one and lights it for me once it's in my mouth. "Thanks."

"How's the gang anyway, man?" he asks, blowing out smoke. "Johnnycake still with that one gal? Man, can't wait to see them."

I slowly blow smoke and turn my head away from him. "Where you stayin'?"

"Buddy of mine's house."

The wind is strong and it's blowing my hair and making me shiver. He's cool and collected, just standing, smoking his cigarette like he doesn't have a care in the world. "He may never walk again," I say. "Darry."

Dally nods like he gets it but I know he doesn't. He hasn't been here long enough to get it and he doesn't really want to. "Gotta be hell. Lot's changed since I've been gone, ay?"

"Yeah," I answer. "It sure has."

"I had to walk home," he says bitterly. "You can imagine my surprise."

I lift my head up. His smoke is blowing into my face and he's waiting for my answer. "What made you think I'd pick you up, Dallas?"

"Uh, well, I dunno," he says, being a smart-ass. "Maybe because of the fact that you told me you would?"

I can tell by his tone he never expected me to show up. I know he knew I wouldn't be there that morning and I know he knew why. "You want me to say sorry?"

"Nah," he says lightly, throwing his weed on the ground and stomping it out. "Nah, Curtis."

"I talked to Ronnie," I inform him. "I suppose you already know that though. I suppose you also know everything he said to me and everything I said to him."

"Yeah, and?"

"Anything you want to get off your chest or are we just not going to acknowledge anything at all? Like nothing happened?"

He blows out smoke and mumbles a swear under his breath. He kicks the dirt and shakes his head as he turns around. "I dunno, Curtis. What by chance do you want me to say?"

I shiver as a chill runs down my back. I turn my head and look to the side. "I don't know. It's been three months since you told me about Sam. I didn't expect us to just make small talk all day."

"So what?" he asks. "You want to have story time? Should I get mother fucking goose out here too? Let it go."

I can tell how angry he's slowly getting. He's laughing at himself but I know he won't be for long. I start to think of the reasons I showed up today. I tried to talk myself out of it about ten times. What good could come from this? That's my main question I ask myself. Maybe I just want to see his face. Right now though, it's the last thing I can look at.

To think, I once counted down the days when I could see Dally not behind bars.

"Why did you kill Sam?" I blurt the question out like it's just another question and I stand tall even though my stomach is turning on the inside as I actually ask those words. The million dollar question.

He cocks an eyebrow. "Just out with it? Just like that? No 'how are you?' No 'how was jail?' My, my, Curtis. That isn't too polite of you. I expected more."

"You've been gone for three months," I say. "I haven't spoken to you in three months. I've written letters though but I'm sure you know that. I asked you how you were for weeks. I'm not asking it again because now, I don't care."

He stares at me for a minute, chewing on the end of a toothpick. He's studying me. Thinking of what to say. "You talked to Ronnie. You tell me."

"I don't believe him."

He shrugs. "Sorry."

"Why are we here then?" I ask. "Why did you call me and have me meet you here?"

He turns his head. He still has a grin on his face. He kicks the ground and bites down hard into his toothpick. "What? You ain't happy to see me? Come on now, Curtis."

"Do you want me to be honest? Because you're not going to like the answer I give you."

He lifts his head up and looks at me again. His smile is bigger despite the fact that I'm scowling and have my arms crossed. He's smiling big. A sly little smile I haven't seen in a long time.

"What is your problem?" he asks with another laugh at me.

"My problem is with you and how you just vanished and then show back up and instantly expect everything to be fine."

"Wow," he says, shaking his head. "Let me ask you a question, Curtis. If you hate me so badly, why did you show up today? Huh? I can't hear you."

I cross my arms and look to the side. "I wanted to know the truth. I think you owe me enough to tell me what happened. What really happened and why."

"I bet that just ate at you for months," he says. "Just sitting around thinking about it. You tell me your theory. Come on. I know you have one so don't act like you don't."

I shrug. It's true that I've thought of many scenarios as to what happened that night. None of them I actually believe though. "Money? Someone told you to do it? I don't think it was a two man job."

"Oh you don't?"

"No."

He scratches his chin and walks around in a small circle, thinking. "Why?"

"Why do I think that?"

"Yeah."

I stand on my tiptoes as I breathe in, going up, and then breathing out and going down. "I just don't think you and Ronnie decided to kill Sam on your own because of those stupid reasons."

He raises his eyebrows. "Stupid reasons?"

"Yeah, you did it because Sam was a bad person. He was raping women and dealing out laced up drugs. You think that makes you some kind of sick hero?" I shake my head. "I know there's more to it than that. I know you, Dallas and I know damn well you wouldn't just kill someone for that shit!"

He grabs my arm and pulls me close. I can feel his warm breath on my face. His eyes are sharp and threatening. Here's the anger. I expected it to come out at some point but I can't stand the thought of him touching me like this.

"Shut up. You don't know anything about what happened. Don't say a fucking word about what you think of me."

I jerk away from him and shake my head. "You don't even care. I know that. I see that. What you did was wrong and you don't even care."

"Oh so now you have some morals?" he mocks. "Last time I checked, it didn't bother you! Let me remind you, you weren't the only one spilling secrets that day."

I cross my arms over my chest and tighten my body with my thin jacket. "Yeah and you acted like you didn't care about that either. You weren't even...shocked."

A light bulb went off in my head as a conversation I completely forgot about was rehashed. I remember his face, the way he talked to me. The sound of his voice after I spilled my guts. Dally wasn't shocked when I told him about what Sam and I had done. Dally also wasn't going to tell me he killed Sam until I told him that.

I put a hand over my mouth and slowly back away. "You knew. You knew all along what happened that night."

His face tells me my answer. His eyes don't part from mine nor does his face change. He isn't breaking this stare down and letting me know anything that might be noticeable.

I swallow back a sob. I promised myself I wouldn't cry in front of him and I wasn't going to, even if it killed me. "How? Why? You knew all that time and you didn't tell me? How did you know, Dallas?"

He shakes his head. "You think you know everything, Curtis. You tell me how I knew since you know so much."

I can feel a knot in my stomach, like I've been hit hard. I want to go home and lock myself in my room.

"I can't believe you..."

"Well believe it."

I put my hand up to my mouth and control my breaths so my voice won't sound like I'm upset. "I can't believe, after all this time, you still manage to make me feel like the bad guy in every situation."

This sparks an interest in him. "What?"

"I thought it was my fault everything fell apart but then I realized...it was you."

He stares at me for a moment, taking in fully what I had just said. "Oh, so I'm the bad guy again? I've been there. I think I can live with that title. Is that what you really think of me?"

"You lied to me, over and over again. You left me and told me not to come back after everything we went through. You threw me away just like that with nothing! You were going to ditch me right after you shot that flower shot guy-"

"Ronnie shot him," he growls. "You don't know what you're talking about so don't try and act like you do."

I sigh. "I'm not saying you're a bad guy but killing a guy doesn't exactly look good on your resume."

He stands over me, tall and aggressive. He's breathing down my neck. "What do you want from me?"

"The truth."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's all."

"So you're not going to tell me?"

"Nope."

My chest rises up and then back down. "Dally, I've put up a lot with you. I've always been there for you. You wanna know how I really feel? I cried...for weeks. I wrote you and called you all the time, begging you to at least talk to me! You murdered someone, Dally, and you know what? That's not even why I'm so angry or sad. You come here and you kiss me like it's all better now, but it's not.

I can't look you in the face without hurting. I can't hear or say your name. What you did to me was not ok. I'm not some toy you can just put away and get back out when you want it. You've been gone for three months. Do you not think that, maybe, I've found someone else?"

He laughs at that, amused again but I can still feel the anger by his stance. "Who?"

"I don't have to tell you. That's not the point," I say. "The point is, I came here today for answers and that's all."

He's still showing his pearly whites. "Not to see me?"

"Dally," I say. "I...I hate you."

I don't mean it when I say that. I don't mean anything of the harsh things I just said. I don't know I was saying them more for. Me, to make myself feel better, or him, to make him feel worse but I've said them, and I know I can't take them back.

His smile is gone. It goes away very fast and he looks almost speechless but who expects Dallas Winston to ever be speechless? "Fuck you too."

"I'm angry because you lied to me for months, maybe longer, I don't even know! I don't even know what happened or why! Then I find out you were going to leave me...jump states without another word? How do you not expect me to be angry here, Dally?"

He rolls his eyes, rolling his head around. "You really think that?"

"Then give me the truth!" I shout, feeling my arms start to shake from the built up anger in my body. It's overwhelming and taking over my nerves. "You told me you loved me! I loved you! You lied to me about your job, where you were, your car, Ronnie, Sam. You lied to me about everything and then acted as if I didn't exist for three months!"

He grinds his teeth together, scowling at me and scowling hard. "I'd do anything for you and you knew that!"

I fight off my will to break down and cry. I can feel the sob rising up in my chest. "I know that! I know you'd do anything for me. I'm not saying you didn't. I'm saying I'm tired of getting lied to, time and time again. I'm done with...you."

"Oh, come on now! Have a fucking heart!"

"I had one," I say calmly. "You're the one that smashed it into the ground."

I turn around, leaving him standing there. I feel my heart drop and I can't breathe. I put my hand over my mouth so he can't hear my sobs as I walk away. These sobs I've held in so he wouldn't see them. I let the tears roll down my cheeks as I walk away. I'm walking away from Dallas Winston for good.

And I think I'm ok with it...as much as it kills me.

I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much. I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss). You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit. My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)

A/N: I'm sorry once again and I hope this chapter makes up for it and hopefully I'll give you a quick update!