Thanks again folks for the reviews and follows. We meander on.
Despite her bravado, Lisa had become quiet and almost lost in her own world on the drive to the airport. She and Wade had picked up Justin on the way, and the two men shared a look as they watched her become increasingly uncomfortable the closer they got to their destination. As he drove, Wade frowned; he had hoped that Lisa had turned a corner in her self confidence and understanding of her relationship with Drew, but he figured he should have known that the scars on her emotions would take longer to heal. Seeing her so conflicted, he knew it would be hard to stay away from Drew and not punch him in the face.
She had worries beyond what Drew might do or say, and he wasn't sure he could handle that on his own. He nodded at Justin as he indicated to speak.
"Li,"Justin turned to look at her, "Lisa honey?"
She looked up, almost surprised, and met Justin's gaze with worried eyes, "what's up J?"
"Remember what we said? Talk to us darlin'."
She couldn't help but smile a little, she could hide nothing from her two best friends. She wanted to start handling things on her own though. She felt like she needed to be strong. Being strong was something that scared the hell out of her.
"I'm just thinking."
"About..." Justin could be highly persistent when he wanted to be.
"What's going to happen."
"Are you worried?"
"Am I worried about the reaction I'm going to get, not only from him but from the others? Yeah, I guess I am. I don't feel strong, and I still feel worried about what he might say, more than what he might do. I'm scared that if he does do something stupid, Wade will hurt him and get suspended or fired. I'm scared that you two will start to believe what people say about me. I'm fed up of not being able to deal with my own shit." Lisa pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs tightly, resting her chin on her knees. "When I'm away from the business and with you two I feel like I can take over the world, but the closer I get to real life the more I realise that one way or another I will fuck things up."
"I don't even know where to start," Justin could completely understand her thoughts but at the same time wished he could do something to soothe her troubled mind. "Li, the one thing I can absolutely promise you is that there is nothing that would ever break up our friendship. Nothing. No matter what people say, or do, or anything, it doesn't matter. I promise."
Lisa nodded tearfully, "when I'm with you guys I feel like I can do anything, but there's something in my head that says that you would both be better off without the shit I bring. And I wouldn't blame you for getting tired of constantly reassuring me and cleaning up the mess I made."
"You need to let Drew, and your whole relationship, out of your head babe," Justin stated bluntly. "He fucked you over, I firmly believe that. Whether you believe it or not, you need to let it go."
"It's not that easy J."
"I know, but the more you let him into your head, the more he controls you."
"How do I make his voice shut up?" she asked quietly. "How do I stop that voice in my head calling me a slut, telling me I wanted it? How do I get rid of that guilt in my stomach at knowing that I asked for it."
Justin held out his hand and she reached forward, feeling him squeeze her hand tightly in reassurance. He could see Wade struggling to contain his anger and upset, and was somewhat grateful that they were nearly at the airport. He'd opened a can of worms but he didn't regret it; he couldn't stand to see his friend hurting. He adored her. He'd loved her once, but that had passed with him saying nothing and the feelings dissipating to friendship and a platonic love. He knew she'd never see him as anything more than a friend, and equally knew that she needed something that he couldn't give her. Wade could though, and he was happy to see his friends work through things and be what each other needed.
Once parked up, Wade stalked out of the car and opened the door for Lisa, pulling her close as she buried her head in his chest. She could feel the anger surge up inside him and had to pull herself together. She didn't want him going after Drew, she couldn't risk that happening, and she therefore had to make him believe that everything was ok.
"Never blame yourself love," he whispered, "never."
"I'll try not to," she replied softly, "please promise me you'll stay away from him."
"I'll try," Wade wouldn't promise, because he knew it wasn't something he could keep. He kissed the top of her head, his large hands holding her close, stroking her hair reassuringly. "I promise I will always be there for you Li. And so will Justin."
Justin took their bags out of the trunk and locked the car, handing the keys to Wade so that he could go and drop them off at airport parking. While he was gone Lisa approached him for a hug, which Justin gave freely.
"I'm so scared he's gonna do something stupid J. I would never forgive myself if he screwed up his career because of me."
Justin couldn't reassure her, because he knew Wade, and that man would not let Drew get away with hurting the woman he loved. If Drew so much as looked at Lisa wrongly, Wade would be likely to take his head off. And, truth be told, Justin would do the same. He couldn't let her worry about him too, so he could do was promise that he'd look after her, no matter what.
"What did I do to deserve you and Wade?" She asked suddenly, revelling in the warmth of his embrace.
"You put up with us," the South African grinned, "who else would?"
"Good point," she laughed, and Justin was heartened to see it, "I must have the patience of a saint."
"I wouldn't go that far," he teased, "you have your moments miss. I remember carrying you home from a bar on more than one occasion."
"I have done no such things," she laughed with an indignant air, "you however..."
"Shhhhhh," he put one finger to her lips, "never to be mentioned again, remember?"
"Ah, that's why you keep me round, I have too much potential blackmail information." She was joking but he could feel the insecurity, hear it in her voice.
"Considering we could blackmail you right back?" Justin shook his head, "we love you babe, you're my best female friend and Wade absolutely adores you. I missed you when you weren't around us, and I swear to god if I'd known you were unhappy I would have reached out."
"I'm not sure I knew how I was feeling," she shrugged. "I don't think I would have been able to handle kindness though. I'm not sure I can now." Lisa snuggled back into Justin's willing embrace. He was security and safety, an anchor in a storm. He kept her safe so that Wade could heal her heart