CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN REMEMBRANCE

The characters, places and situations of Doc Martin are owned by Buffalo Pictures. This story makes no claim of remuneration or ownership, nor do I make any attempt to infringe upon any rights of the owners or producers.

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CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN

"We need to see Terry." The words were offputting and I quickly told them Terry was not home.

Threateningly he retorted, "Maybe we should come in and wait 'til he gets back, love."

An icy stab of fear shot through me as I forcefully said, "No!" and in one quick movement slammed the door and locked it.

Through the door the other man in a high pitched voice said, "When you see 'im tell 'im we'll be back."

I ran to our bedroom crying and trembling. I feared for Terry as well as for Louisa and myself. What had Terry gotten himself into? It had to be trouble. I knew too it was over money. Terry was gambling again. I just knew it.

Of course I couldn't sleep and in the early morning hours there was a tap on the window of our bedroom. My heart leapt to my throat and then I heard Terry calling me.

"Ellie. Ellie. Let me in. I don't have a key."

Going to the door I asked him if he was alone.

"Yes, just open the bloody door, Ellie."

Terry quickly entered and I relocked the door. All the emotions of the past hours flooded out in my very loud sobs as I grabbed him in a hug.

"I thought you were hurt or worse. Those men looked mean. Where did you go?"

"So they did come here. I had to go. If I'd been home it might have been worse."

"They almost forced themselves into the house. You knew they were coming, didn't you? Damn Terry how could you put Louisa and me in danger? I can't live like this. What kind of trouble are you in now? It's about money, isn't it. I know it's about money."

"Look El, I had a sure hand, but to stay in I had to have more money. I borrowed 50 quid. I just know they cheated. It's the only way they could have bettered my hand. The only way."

"50 pounds. God Terry, that's a lot of money. Is it like Liverpool and we'll have to get out of town again? Let me tell you, this is your problem and if there's leaving, you can leave, but I'm not going this time. I'm not going."

We heard Louisa cry out from her room. Actually it was the pantry where we had made room for a bed and small chest. Why did she have to wake up just now? Suddenly she was in the kitchen with us.

"Mummy what's wrong? Why are you yelling at Daddy."

"Nothing's wrong Loulou. Just go back to bed."

"But Mummy..."

Raising my voice more than I intended, I told her, "Louisa, go back to sleep. Everything's okay."

I was harsh, but blast it, this had me totally gutted.

Terry interrupted and in a lower voice, announced,

"No, we won't leave, but Ellie, I know you have some cash hidden around here someplace. Please let me have it and I'll replace it. To get these guys off my back I have to pay them. I'll work overtime or do some week-end work on the boats. Just let me have the money. Look, it won't happen again."

That sounded like so much rubbish but I was afraid and angry. I had scrimped and saved for three years and had 47 pounds hidden under Louisa's bed behind a loose board. I gave him the money. It's that simple and that stupid. I knew I would never see the money again.

John Slater had told me how much he liked to winter over in Spain. It was a favorite place for him. He had painted such a beautiful picture that I really wanted to see Spain. At first I thought we could take a holiday there together, but I knew it was an impossible dream. Nonetheless, I had stashed small bits of money away every chance I got. Now the money that fed the impossible dream was gone. Gone like smoke in the wind.

I know I gave the money because I feared for the safety of my family. The rest of that night still is a mystery to me. How is it that after all that, we ended up in bed and made passionate frenzied love? It was as if it would never happen again so I suppose fear drove that too.

Coming down from our intense passion the house became very still. I could hear Louisa whimpering in her bed. Terry had quickly fallen asleep and I got up and went to see about our daughter.

"What's wrong Loulou?"

"Did Daddy hurt you? I heard you scream."

I pulled her up into my lap and held her. She was so confused and I doubt anything I could say would really settle her, but I tried.

"No Sweetheart. I'm fine. Daddy didn't hurt me. I know I shouted at you before. I'm sorry. We were talking about something you wouldn't understand. Everything's fine now. You can go back to sleep."

"Mummy I don't like you and Daddy to say bad things to each other."

I don't think Louisa was set at ease by what I told her that night. Our fighting had upset her and ironically our pleasure had too. I wish it had been the only time she heard us raising our voices, but it wasn't. I know she must have wondered why we were always shouting if everything was fine.