Chapter 6
Kim Possible stalked Shego through the halls of Middleton High School. Shego didn't appear to have a care in the world as she navigated the corridors with a distracted smile on her face. When Kim turned a corner and found the corridor momentarily empty aside from her and Shego, she pounced. She roughly pushed the surprised Shego into a supply closet and closed the door after them. She had, incidentally, fantasized about doing precisely that on more than one slow school day.
"Kimmie! What are you doing?"
"No, what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to find my next class. There was a surprising number of subjects that required a substitute. I'm afraid I'm not quite oriented yet."
"Why are you playing a substitute teacher at my school? What are you planning?"
"I'm not planning to do anything but what the school hired me to do. I am the new substitute. Please, I'll explain everything later, but now I need to get to class. I don't want to mess up on my first day."
"Not until you explain. The last time we met you tried to give me a nose job, and now you're, what, under cover? What's with the outfit?" Kim would have liked to think she was here for her, but based on their last conversation it seemed unlikely.
"My old hero clothes are hardly appropriate for class." Shego gave Kim a pleading look, with no trace of maleficence or guile. "Please, I promise to explain everything after school."
Kim relented and moved from blocking the door. "Fine. I'll give you one chance. But I'll be watching you."
Shego left the closet with a grateful smile. Kim made good on her promise as Shego disappeared down the hall, though her gaze mostly focused on her backside.
"Okay, that was Shego, right?" Kim turned to face Monique, who had managed to sneak up on her while she was lost in contemplation.
"Uh, yeah. I think."
"Was there some point of doubt?"
"She didn't really act like herself. She was all... nice."
Monique sighed. "One day, Kim, you will meet a nice girl who interests you."
"What do you mean by that?" Was Monique maybe talking about herself? Had she missed some signals?
"That between her and Bonnie, you seem to have a thing for mean."
"I'm so over Bonnie."
"Really? You seemed like you were joined at the hip the other week."
"Monique, we were joined at the hip." Literally, thanks to Professor Dementor's device and Ron's clumsiness, which Monique knew well enough.
"That must have been awkward."
"You know it was awkward. Why are you bringing it up now?"
"Because it just occurred to me you never said if anything happened between you two."
"Um, define 'anything'?"
"Yeah, sounds like you're totally over her."
"Look, it was a very extraordinary situation. It's not going to happen again. Besides, it was all physical."
It's not like Kim had planned to get stuck to Bonnie, any more than she had planned to share a cabin with her during the Spirit Stick Competition. These things just seemed to happen to her. She resolved to never mention that episode to Monique. What happens in Camp Wannaweep stays in Camp Wannaweep, especially if it involves her hot ex she is totally over.
"Have you been physical with Ron?"
"No... it just seems like it would raise the stakes a lot, you know?"
"I think I do. Why do you date him, Kim? Do you want it to go somewhere, or do you just want to date someone until you find the one you really want?"
"You make me sound like a horrible person."
"It's not that, it's natural to want to be with someone. But you're both my friends and I don't want to see either of you hurt. You need to decide if you really want to date him, or if he's just your designated rebound guy. It's not fair to just string him along."
"I know, and I don't want to hurt him. I like him. We've been friends forever. For a while I thought it'd just be natural for our relationship to mature as we get older."
"But you're really not into him at all, are you?"
"Well, not in the sense I'm into Shego, no. But I know he likes me, he's the one who wanted to date me in the first place. How could I tell him I don't feel the same way?"
"I'm afraid you're on your own, there. You got yourself into this mess; you get yourself out of it."
"Thanks a bunch. Can we get back to the Shego sitch now?"
"Okay. So why was she teaching our class? Did you two decide to act out some teacher fantasy?"
"I don't have teacher fantasies. Well, I didn't use to have teacher fantasies."
"Kim, focus."
"Uh, she claims she's the new substitute teacher."
"That seems like a rather drastic career change for a supervillain."
"Yeah, it's weird. I'll get the story out of her later."
"You're just going to leave her on her own?"
"She said she's not here for any nefarious scheme."
"And she obviously couldn't be lying."
"I know her. If she was up to something evil, she'd have taunted me with it in some way. There's something I don't understand going on."
"I hope you're right. But you have to understand why I might doubt your motives when it comes to her."
"Hey, I'm not about to let her commit crimes just because I want to... you know." Kim guiltily recalled aiding and abetting her escape because she wanted to get her alone.
"Well, that's an improvement." Apparently Monique remembered it too. "I'm going to trust your judgment for now, and head to class. I'm pretty sure you have one, too."
"Oh. Right."
"Okay, first thing: I haven't hit my head or anything," Ron Stoppable said as he sat down across from Kim at the cafeteria table.
"Congratulations."
Kim wondered if she ought to be less sarcastic with Ron. Good girls didn't give their boyfriends grief, right? Then again, Kim reflected, she wasn't Ron's girlfriend as such; they'd just gone on a few dates. Quite a few dates, in fact, but they'd never agreed they were going steady. So really, she didn't need to break up with Ron or anything. She just needed to make him understand they wouldn't be an item. As soon as she figured out how to go about it without needlessly hurting him.
"And I'm not delusional. Am I?"
"No more than usual."
"Okay, so, you might want to sit down for this one, KP."
"Ron, I am sitting down."
"Always thinking ahead, aren't you, KP?" Was Ron mocking her? "Anyway, I'm pretty sure I saw Shego on my way here."
"You probably did. She's been here all morning."
"She has? You knew? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Ron, I should have. It just slipped my mind." How could it not have occurred to her to tell Ron? Well, Ron probably would have overreacted, anyway, and she had the situation in hand.
"Why is she here, and why haven't you done anything about it?"
"She's the new substitute teacher."
"What."
"I know. I don't know."
"Um, which one is it, KP?"
"English, and some other class, too. Maybe Civics?"
"KP." Ron pointed at himself. "Serious face. If you're going to turn this into a comedy routine, I'm going to find some other fine lady to grace with my company." Kim almost wished he would, and felt guilty about the thought.
"Sorry, Ron. I know it's weird. I don't know the whole story. She promised to explain it to me later."
"Does she do that a lot?"
"Confide in me?"
"No, quote classic scifi shows."
"What did you just say about comedy routines, Ron?"
"If you don't mind me saying, KP, you seem a little quick to trust your mortal enemy."
"Well, I wouldn't say mortal..."
"Flaming Hands of Death, KP! And how many times has she strapped you down to some deathtrap?"
"That's on Dr. Drakken's orders." Kim suddenly pictured Shego tying her down when it was just the two of them. It probably wouldn't lead to death. Well, maybe a little death.
"KP?"
Kim realized she'd drifted off, her fork frozen in mid-air, and her thighs pressed together. She finished taking a bite and forced her attention back on Ron.
"Uh, sorry. I got distracted."
"I guess Shego can have that effect." Ron shuddered. "Just imagine if she got her hands on you."
"Believe me, I was."
"Now's not the time to be morbid, KP. Lunch time is a rare, hallowed oasis in the desert of the school day, and should be enjoyed to its fullest."
"Uh... okay." Kim watched Ron dig into his food with more apparent gusto than the cafeteria food really merited. "You don't seem too disturbed by Shego being on the loose, after all."
"Can't worry now. Eating."
Kim smiled in spite of herself. "Sure, Ron."
Kim waited by the door to the parking lot. She didn't know if Shego had a car or not, but she knew most teachers left this way. She nodded to the teachers as they left, most of them surprised to see her here. Shego was among the last to emerge, escorted by Mr. Barkin. Kim assumed he was showing her around, her being new. It was surprisingly considerate of the abrasive teacher. Perhaps he was nicer with other faculty.
"Oh! Kimmie." Shego spotted her the moment she stepped out the door. Her demeanor was surprisingly hesitant.
"Sh..." Kim cut herself off at the empathic shake of the head from Shego. Right, she probably hadn't introduced herself as a wanted criminal. "Miss Go."
"Possible, what are you doing here? I didn't think any student wanted to hang around the school any longer than they needed to."
"Oh, there was something I wanted to discuss with Miss Go. School stuff, you know?"
Mr. Barkin looked at his watch. "This better not take long. I have things to do."
"Oh, you don't need to wait around, Stevie." Kim didn't know what to make of her calling him 'Stevie', so she decided to just ignore it.
"But I was going to offer to drop you off at your place. You know, since you don't have a car?"
"Oh, that's all right, Mr. Barkin. I can give her a ride."
"Students do not give teachers rides, Possible." What was his problem with her? Kim didn't think her offer merited the level of hostility he was radiating.
"Oh, I'd be happy to get a ride from you, Kimmie." Kim very much wanted to say that the feeling was mutual. If they'd been alone, she would have. "I'll see you tomorrow, Stevie." Mr. Barkin left, grumbling to himself.
"Right, are you ready to explain, now?"
"I guess so. Can we get some coffee while we talk?"
"Fine."
Kim led Shego to her car. Shego scanned the parking lot as they walked.
"Where's Ronald?"
"Ron?" Kim couldn't actually recall Shego ever referring to Ron by his name before, and she certainly hadn't expected her to be as formal as to use his full name. It was just weird.
"Isn't he joining us?"
"I thought we would keep the discussion private?" Kim's voice came out more hesitant than she'd intended. She had assumed Shego wouldn't want anyone else present, but apparently she had been wrong.
"Okie Dokie, Kimmie."
Kim blinked. Just what in the world had happened to Shego?