Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders or the song "Dyers Eve"

A/N: Kryptonite tells Darry's part of this in more detail in the form of a one-shot. I'll post it later this week along with the last chapter of GITW.

Dear Mother, dear Father. What is this hell you have put me through? Believer, deceiver. Day in, day out, live my life through you. Pushed onto me what's wrong or right. Hidden from this thing that they call life.

"Dally." There's a bright light entering the room. "Some guy named Sodapop keeps calling here asking if-"

I can feel the shift in the bed. She takes the top sheet with her as she moves, leaving me exposed. Rick closes his eyes long enough for me to full wake up and grab the blanket at the end of the bed.

"Oh."

I rub my face and start to become aware with what's going on. Danni's standing beside the window, covering herself up and turning a dark red. Rick's red too and he's trying not to look at her but I can see his eyes through his hand.

"I'm...I'm so sorry."

I rub the sleep out of my eyes. Danni moves around the room and stumbles over the sheet more than a couple of times.

"I take it you're Danni."

I groan. My stomach growls and I could really go for some pancakes right now with bacon soaked in syrup. It's too bright in here and I can't see. I can hear Danni still lose her balance as she dances through the small room looking for her things.

She bends over and tucks her hair behind her ear. She gathers some things up with her hands and curses under her breath. She's still a dark shade of red and she's refusing to look up at Rick who still standing like an idiot by the door.

"Anythin' else you want Rick?" I ask.

His mouth is still a little open and he's staring at the floor but I know he's glancing at the sheet that keeps dropping from Danni's body that's revealing her upper half. She pulls it back up and curses again as she goes back to hunting.

"I really am sorry," Rick says again before he waves and let's himself out.

Danni still has the sheet wrapped tightly around her as she finds the last of her stuff. She keeps it wound tightly as she begins to unsuccessfully put her underwear on and pants.

I roll to my side and sneer. "What are coverin' up for? Ain't nothin' I ain't seen before."

She turns a new shade of red. She bounces up and down as she shimmies her pants up her thighs. Her idea of keeping the sheet up to cover her isn't working. She lets it fall once she gets her bra on. She still hasn't looked at me.

"Where ya goin' anyway? Where's the fire?"

She combs through her hair with her fingers. "Darry...It's...Where's my purse?"

I shrug and pull out my box of smokes from the dresser drawer. I lean back against the bed board as I relax and smoke some. I watch her run through the room, panting and shaking as she doesn't come any closer to finding her bag.

She gives up her hunt. "If...If he calls again can you tell him I'm not here? You...You don't know where I am."

She runs into the bathroom and splashes water on her face. She fixes herself up so it doesn't look like she spent the whole night fucking instead of getting beauty rest like she was supposed to be.

"Want a stick?"

She shakes her head as she splashes hot water on her face. She runs through the room and goes to the door. "I..." She looks at me for a second. This is the first time. Her eyes are huge and red. "I gotta go."

"You coulda' warned me."

There's not any pancake mix. There's not any food because it's my turn to pay for it and I haven't worked in over a week. There are stale corn flakes and day old milk and dirty spoons. Right now, I don't really care.

I sit down at the table and scoop up the crusty pieces of cereal. Rick's got eggs and the smell is making me want to gag. Who the fuck even likes eggs? Maybe if they had some hot sauce on them, I could get them down.

"So that's her?"

I nod, crunching on the worst possible breakfast anyone can ever eat. As I swallow, it's already racing back up.

"What happened to your face?"

I crunch again and again until the nails go down. "Bar fight."

"Bull shit." He reaches out, touching the red mark around my eye. "Damn, someone can hit."

"Get off!"

He sits back down in his chair, fixing his newspaper and going back to reading. "You're in way over your head, kid."

I take my jacket from the couch, put on my boots, and leave.

There's somewhere I need to be.

There's a sent that lingers on the bottom floor. It doesn't smell like the top floors: filth, agony, pain, sickness. It smells like fresh flowers and honey and teddy bears. There is a desk in the center of the room with friendly people dressed in white. They smile when you enter and ask if they can help you.

I walk by them. I already know where I'm going.

On this floor, it smells like dust and old bones. Not a place you'd expect a twenty something guy to be.

Can you really picture Darry Curtis in a wheel chair? A coffin even? We called Darry Superman for many reasons. He was big and muscular and resembled him in appearance. The name came before he showed he really was Superman.

He could win. He could fight death, pain, and hold it together so well that he never cracked.

She's the first thing I notice when I reach the end of the hallway. Everyone's here. I don't need to count or list off the people because of course they'd be here. It's like old times again.

Her hair's in her face and there's a magazine in her lap that she's not reading.

Soda's beside her, holding hands with his girl and on the other side of her is the other sister-in-law.

I'm late. He's probably almost out by now but why show up for the waiting period? All you do is sit and picture what it would be like if the doctor came out and told you someone died.

She's far away, but I can still read her mind:

His eyes looked back at us. "She...I'm sorry. She didn't make it."

The relief that was once in the room vanished. Everyone looked to the floor.

His words took me back. He was lying.

"She...what do you mean she didn't make it?"

Time moves forward. None of that matters anymore but she still thinks about it. It's a daily reminder of things she doesn't like to remember. A time where we were all a little bit lost and young and stupid.

"Hey, Dal," Two-Bit comes to say. He doesn't smile but he looks happy to see me.

Her eyes flick up and she stares. As I walk to her, her mouth drops slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean what am I doing here?"

Before she can answer, a man in a white coat comes down the hall and I'm just a shadow again. Everyone gets up and goes to him and I'm left, standing beside her. She's the last one to follow the crowd.

I wait back where the seats are. I don't need to hear it come out of this guy's mouth. I can tell by everyone's reactions what the outcome is.

People worry about things they shouldn't. I suppose when you've lost time and time again, it's just second nature.

"Are you coming to the room?" She gathers up her things as everyone else follows the doctor.

I shrug and follow her.

This is the same room he's been in for more than a month. The white walls would drive me crazy enough, but there's a collection of balloons and stuffed animals and flowers from people who couldn't give two shits about him. They just give because they want a better place in heaven or to get something out of it. That's why anyone does anything.

They are constantly thinking: how can I benefit from this?

He's pale but his eyes are open and that's all anyone sees. Steve and the other guys are still in the waiting room, wanting the family to be alone but here I am with all the other in-laws.

Kathy's at his side already. "Hi. Hi, honey."

He blinks, smiling a little at her face. He turns his head slowly and looks to the other side at us. "Sodapop, baby brother, you got what I told you to hang on to?"

"Yeah."

He nods, satisfied. "Dal, you got a cigarette?" I give him one, getting stares from his woman as I lean over and light it. "Thanks, man."

He smokes it like it's the last one he'll ever have. He enjoys the flavor, the way the smoke glides off his chapped lips. Once he's done, he leans back, closing his eyes.

"I can't feel it. I can't fucking feel it."

"Darry..."

"You're not pregnant."

I shouldn't be smirking and I'm getting a glare from my left but I ignore it. He wouldn't be the first guy to fall for the scheme but it's funny every time seeing the reaction of the truth coming out.

Kathy stumbles over her words. "I-I-"

"You're not a good liar, ya know?" he says plainly, smoking again. "I may be sick, but I'm not an idiot. Even if I believed it from the get go, you'd think I'd start to notice when you didn't get fat."

The room is silent. Pony offers to leave but I'm not missing this.

"You want me to leave?" she asks, her head hung and tears starting to spill out.

He shakes his head, smoking again and making her cringe. "I figure a few things: one, you must really like me to put up with all this shit. two, you much love me to lie to me about something so stupid. I can count too. And three, I figured if you and these stupid kids over here would really go that far to get me to live, then I must be a pretty damn special guy."

That gets a few laughs.

"Sodapop, baby bro," he says weakly. "Can I have it?"

Out of his pocket is a folded brown paper bag. "Do you want a minute alone?"

"No," he says, taking the bag and unwrapping it. "Ya'll can stay. I'll put on a nice show for ya'll."

He clears his throat, reaching the bottom of the bag and resting his hand on whatever's inside.

"Kat, me and you have been together since we were fifteen. Ya know that?" She nods. He carries on, "You're the only girl I've been with. My mom told me something one time. She said that if someone comes back to you, goes through shit with you without breaking down, who takes care of you and your siblings, you gotta do something for me."

He pulls his hand out a little. I laugh out loud, knowing what's coming.

"I'd get down on one knee, but, ya know."

She gasps as it sparkles under the light. "Oh my God!"

"Kathy Sutton, will you please do me the honor of being my permanent wheel chair pusher until we get old enough to where we're both stuck like this and we gotta get these idiots to push us around?"

She's crying now. I'm the only one laughing, everyone else just looks shocked and happy.

She takes the ring, covering her mouth so she won't sob out. "I...Darry I can't believe this!"

"You better say yes."

She cries out, holding his head in her arms. "I love you so much! Of course I'll be your permanent wheel chair pusher."

"C'mon, Curtis." I bump against her hip, calling her to follow. "I'll buy you a coke."

She doesn't come right away. She's frozen, focusing her eyes on Darry but looking somewhere else. Eventually she turns on her heel, and walks behind me. Her head is down the whole walk and she doesn't speak, not even to comment on her brother's new neighbors that are wondering the halls.

I pull out a dime and punch the coke picture on the machine. I hand her hers and then get mine.

She holds hers in her hands as cold droplets bleed on her hands.

"What?" I ask. "Ain't this the happy ending you pictured? Your brother's fine, he's getting married to a girl you actually like. We're here. Story's over. I figured you'd be all tickled. What gives?"

She ponders for a minute, not moving, eyes set on her coke. "You shouldn't be here."

She says it so softly that I don't think I'm meant to hear it. I do and nothing makes sense. I wait for her to go on or to explain like she normally does, but she just opens her coke and walks away.

"Hold up!"

I walk after her and into the waiting area with clouds and toys. She stops her feet and stands in the middle of the room. From the side she hisses, "Last night shouldn't have happened."

Her attitude from earlier becomes clear. "Why?"

She won't face me. Her head is bowed and her coke is dripping. "I can't believe that happened."

"Turn around and talk to me like a man!" I shout but she doesn't jump or move. "Stop whispering around and giving me the cold shoulder like this is my fucking fault. You came to me, now turn around and say what you gotta say!"

On the side of her foot, she turns. Her eyes are like dead holes. Not filled with happiness like they should be today. "I find myself pretending sometimes. You do the same."

I lean on my other leg. "What?"

"I spoke to Dale this morning."

"What? When?" I jump and she backs away like she's afraid of the wrong person. "Where did you see him?"

She swallows down a sip of coke. I notice the color of her skin and the way she's standing. "He was in your driveway. He drove me here. He said he needed to talk to me."

"So you go in the van with the murderer? What the hell were you thinking!?" I yell. I try going to her but again, she backs away further. "Did he touch you? Tell me he didn't touch you!"

"No. I'm fine." She holds her hands up so I don't come any further. "Carmen was with him. I figured it was safe. He took straight here. We talked."

I can't believe how stupid she is. Dale scares her. Obviously this is true but why is she staying away from me?

"Did you even mean it when you told me you loved me at the hospital that night?"

I get angry with her, "Why would you even say something like that? Course I did! What did Dale say to you? I'm guessing you believe him which is enough to piss me off and show how ignorant you really are."

Her shoulders slump. "He proved something true that I already knew. He showed me the old train tickets, Dally. The ones you were going to use the night the flower shop guy died. You were going to bail. Bail out on me."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Were you even going to say goodbye? No, forget that! How could you really do that? How could you just get on a train and forget all about me? How could you even think to do that? Then to come back here and tell me that you love me?"

There's some emotion we haven't seen before.

I rub my face. Why was his car outside my house this morning? Unless he's watching us. Her.

"I forgot all about it when Ronnie had mentioned it. I told myself "oh that's not true. Dally would never leave me". But he had the tickets. You know, Dale told me something else too."

I turn back around. "Why are you listening to this guy?"

"He's giving me something you won't," she drags her words out, taking a dramatic pause before saying, "How did you know about me and Jason, Dally? How?"

I don't answer her. What was I supposed to say? She already knows the answer so why bother asking. She knows the answer she was given. Not the whole story.

"I was at work, Curtis - lie. I was at the bar - lie. I just met Ronnie today too - lie. I didn't know he was in tow - lie. I don't know what happened to Sam - lie. I don't know how Ronnie got bail - lie. I love you - lie."

Fed up, I charge to her. I grab her before she can run away and I pin her against a wall, a fist full of her shirt. "I gave you everything! How dare you say that to me!"

I let her go and she drops to the ground lightly.

"You didn't give me anything but lies! You lived another life, Dally. You used me to get to Randy and Sam. You worked with the devil. Why did you never tell me you knew about Jason because you knew for a while! You knew who did it so you kept lying to me so you could figure out the whole story. How could you use me like that?"

"That's what you think it is? You've got to be kidding me!"

She reaches into her bag, pulling out a crumbled sheet of paper and tossing it on the floor. "Dale gave that to me today."

I roll my eyes, picking it up and unfolding it.

Sam's the one who's wrong. He's the one who killed Jason. The police will know we buried him though. Sam will tell them and then we will be right there in jail with him. Stop worrying. We didn't actually kill this guy. We just buried him. We were drunk and Sam made a mistake. It was an accident. No one will coming looking. He's in the middle of the woods. No one will find him. We're fine. We didn't kill Jason. Sam killed Jason. It'll be ok. I love you.

Love,

Randy.

This is from her room. I'm not reading it for the first time. The name is crossed out at the top so there's no way to tell who this letter is to but it's obvious to me and her and maybe a few others. It's marked out on purpose.

This letter has been missing from her closet for months. She's just now noticing and realizing who took it. The only person who could and why this person knows.

"I don't get it. I don't get how you can sit there and defend everything you did. You killed someone. You lied to me. You were going to leave me and never speak to me again. You killed my friends. And you used me to do it."

I serve around, laughing. "You're believing this guy?"

"Then tell me it's not true. Tell me you didn't take that from my room. Tell me everything I just said is a lie."

"Why did you come to me last night? Huh, why!?"

Not afraid anymore, she slowly tip toes toward me. Tears are in her eyes but she won't let them out. "I thought Dale was the villain in the story. I came to you because I thought you were the good guy and I was wrong. I forgot, you're the one who killed a guy. You're the one who lied. You're the one who was going to leave. Stop blaming Dale, because this is all you. I was wrong. Everyday I find out a new lie. A new story. I don't know what to believe but I know those tickets were real and so is that letter. I know Sam's dead. I know you killed him. And the only thing keeping me from going to the police, is that I know you'll be gone soon, and it won't matter. You'll just be another name in this town."

Dale isn't the good guy in this story. Not even the villain There's a bigger force out there. She knows his name. A guy who has yet to appear. Someone she keeps forgetting. Maggot.

Once she sees that I have nothing else to say, she goes to the door, walking as if she knows she's won. This is the war to her, not the battle like it is to me.

"You should have gotten on that train, Dally. At least then I wouldn't ever have to see your face again."

I call after her, "Curtis."

She stops without turning around. "What?"

"Those people in there - your family. People who you love. You'd do anything for them, right?"

"Of course."

"Then you get it."

I'm in hell without you. Cannot cope without you too. Shocked at the world that I see. Innocent victim please rescue me. Dear Mother, dear Father. Hidden in your world you've made for me. I'm seething, I'm bleeding. Ripping wounds in me that never heal. Undying spite, I feel for you. Living out this hell you always knew.

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone so much for the reviews.

So thank you for reading and please review! Only ten more chapters!