Of Bathrooms and Redheads

' C'mon Moony!' cried James. He was kneeling in front of Remus, who was sat in the comfy armchair in the corner of the common room, reading. Or he had been. ' I'm not asking you to be a part of it, I'm just…'

' … Asking me to aid and abet your illicit activities?' Remus finished.

James had the decency to blanch. Sirius, however, did not.

' Yeah,' he shrugged. ' Now that you mention it, that is exactly what we want.'

' I couldn't possibly just hand you my keys to the prefects bathroom,' Remus paused, and allowed a moment for the moans and groans and all out indignant cries. Then he finished, ' But, I can hardly be held responsible for what you did if, say, I accidentally left them on the table by the portrait hole.'

' Oh, Moony!' James started.

' You're brilliant!' Sirius continued. ' Absolutely fucking…'

' Brilliant!' They both finished, grinning.

' No, no, no!' Remus said, waving his arms about his head as if to swat the words away. ' Nothing brilliant about it! Careless! Forgetful! And… And woefully ignorant!'

' Good enough for me,' Sirius said, pulling James up. Remus finally let his hands collapse back into the book laid across his lap. ' Now, come, Prongsie-wongs. We shall leave our studious, prefect friend to his harmless reading!'

Remus flushed a little. Sirius had made the declaration of innocence so loudly it might as well have been a signed confession. Remus barely managed to keep his face straight and - hopefully - disapproving until the pair turned away. Then he allowed himself a giggle, and immediately regretted it. He was still sore, and the movement made his ribs ache.

The black haired boys wandered away, muttering and snickering, Peter following close behind. They cackled as the grabbed the offending keys, scurrying out of the common room, and for a moment, Remus wondered what exactly he was enabling.

' No,' He assured himself. ' I don't want to know.'

' You don't sound to sure about that, Lupin,' a voice came from behind him. If voices could grin, this one most definitely was.

' Well I am,' came another, both softer and more stern. ' I certainly don't want to know.'

Dorcas Meadows sat on the chair arm utterly gracelessly, and ended up draped across Remus' lap. She was a pretty girl, if a little clumsy, with a mop of thick blonde hair. She was wearing a baggy muggle t-shirt and an apologetic smile. Lily Evans opted for the floor, crossing her legs beneath her and managing to look elegant, even in her dishevelled uniform.

Remus smiled at Lily, and Dorcas chose that moment to make herself more comfortable. She pressed against the aching muscles in his thigh, and an open cut on his stomach. He twitched back and winced a little, despite himself.

' Are you okay, Remus?' Lily asked, looking concerned.

' Yeah, I'm fine,' He started, but she raised an eyebrow and he added, ' Bit ill, that's all.'

' Rough night?' she said with a bit more understanding that comfortable. Remus just stared at her.

' So,' said Dorcas loudly, blundering through the moment. ' What're Dumb and Dumber up to now?'

She was scanning the room for James and Sirius, and - not for the first time - Remus wondered which of them was which.

' No idea,' he mumbled.

It wasn't a complete lie. He knew it had something to do with the prefects bathroom and, knowing Padfoot and Prongs, probably including a Slytherin or two. But they could be very original in their predictability, and they were nothing if not resourceful.

He realised he was frowning at the book, now more in Dorcas' lap than his own, and glanced back up at Lily. She gave him a tight, knowing smile. Hmm. This Lily Evans sees far too much.

' Oh,' Dorcas said, more than a little disappointed. ' I haven't seen them properly yet.'

By 'them, Remus knew, she meant 'him'. Sirius. It wasn't unusual for Sirius to have several girls fawning after him at any given time, but most got the message after a few weeks of being completely ignored. Dorcas, unfortunately, was not one of them.

She had harboured a significant crush on Sirius since the one time in first year he helped her through the portrait hole. As it turned out, she was very like him, all fun-loving trouble-making party animal Gryffindor. The difference being, not many girls were pranksters. And with well-mannered, studious friends like Lily and Mary Macdonald, Dorcas didn't really get the change to flex her mischief muscles unless Sirius asked her to help out.

' Don't worry about it,' he said. ' They always go a bit overboard the first few weeks. It's their way of showing how happy they are to be back. Their very inappropriate way.'

Lily laughed. It wasn't a nice laugh, It was a harsh, unforgiving sound. ' Like either of those idiots want to be here at all!'

Well, Remus thought. At least she doesn't see everything. Or she just chooses not to.

He, however, had had four years experience in the mater. The first year, he had pegged it down to settling in. Sirius had been excited to an annoying degree, goading James into what can only be described as enough mischief to make up for a particularly dull eleven-year-life. When it eased, he figured that was the end of that.

He had been wrong. Every year since, Sirius was giddy and excitable and a little irritating for the first few weeks and deflated and moody and very annoying for the last few weeks.

It was well known that Sirius didn't get on with his family. He was one of only three people in five generations not to be a Slytherin, and he was the only Gryffindor. Remus never mentioned it, of course, and neither did the other Marauders. And he certainly didn't mention it to Lily Evans, who harboured a particular aversion to all things James Potter or Sirius Black.

Realising he had been silent for much longer than socially acceptable, Remus muttered an agreement. Fortunately, she was distracted. Both of the aforementioned objects of her dislike had fallen through the portrait hole, sodden and dishevelled. They stumbled a few paces into the room, then collapsed in a heap of water and howling laughter.

' That's not good,' Dorcas commented from his lap, while Lily wasted no time marching towards the tangle of soaking limbs on the floor.

She looked particularly ferocious, Remus thought, with her red hair billowing behind her as she stomped forwards, hands on her hips. She had her back to him now, but Remus knew she was scowling with a vengeance.

' Shouldn't you be helping her?' Dorcas chirped up again, sliding onto the floor as if to add I'm not stopping you.

' Probably,' Remus agreed, raising his book to eyelevel.

Lily was in full rant mode now. The words 'irresponsible', 'dangerous' and 'disgrace' were frequented.

' You aren't reading that, are you,' Dorcas said. It wasn't really a question.

' Not so much, no,' he admitted, peering over the book to examine the scene before him.

Sirius, for the most part, looked completely uninterested in Lily's rant. He looked positively bored, with the occasional chuckle as he recalled whatever horror they had inflicted upon the bathroom.

James was another matter completely. He was all out staring at Lily, not with his usual attempt at an innocent look amongst proclamations like 'you're over-reacting, it wasn't that bad!' or 'C'mon, Evans, where's your sense of humour?'. Rather, he was staring as though he had never before lain eyes on a woman. His eyes were wide, his jaw hanging slack. Remus suspected there may be drool.

Finally, Lily halted her rant long enough to regain some of her senses. He scowled at the boys before her one last time, then turned to the door.

' I'm going to get Professor McGonagall.'

' Shit,' Sirius said, loudly.

' Wow,' James muttered, staring at where the redhead had been stood moment before.

They had received a months worth of Saturday detentions, and been forced to clean up the corridors adjoining the bathroom without magic. Remus had been included in the later for his 'carelessness'.

And thus began the obsession of one James Potter for a certain Miss Lily Evans

Okay, here's Chapter 3. Which took priority over my College work, mainly because I enjoy writing this more.

I am actually rather proud of this. I'm usually terrible at writing normal scenes, just people hanging out and the like. But the banter here is slightly less terrible than normal, so yay for me.

Thanks for reading! Reviews make me smile! Danke!