Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders or the song "Poison and Wine"

A/N: Again, please read the lyrics!

Some of you may remember the flashback from a different POV.

You only know what I want you to. I know everything you don't want me to. Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine. You think your dreams are the same as mine. Oh I don't love you but I always will. Oh I don't love you but I always will. Oh I don't love you but I always will. I always will.

I sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the clock. He never keeps the door locked. It worries me in some ways, but tonight it came in handy.

I fall back on the bed and count the cracks on the ceiling. I can feel my eyelids grow heavy.

The door slams. It jolts me up. I sit and look at him smiling at the door. He winks.

"Why are you late?" I ask.

He ignores the question and heads into the bathroom.

I stand behind him, watching him wash his hand but unable to see through the darkness. It's cold in here and I'm hungry.

I continue to stand by the door, watching him, hoping he'll be done soon. He's acting funny. Funnier than usual.

I shrug it off as Dally being Dally.

"I've been waiting," I say quietly. "I was getting worried."

He tosses the rag over the rack and slyly smiles at me. "Worryin' about little ole me?" His shoulder blade catches mine as he walks by. "I'm flattered."

I sigh. I wasn't in the mood to play around. I was hungry and that always made me irritable. "Can we go to dinner now?"

He pulls things out of drawers and I walk in circles by the door. "Let's stay here."

I walk silently. I stand beside him, softly laying my hand on his shoulder. "I'm hungry," I whine. "Let's go get dinner and we'll come back here. I can lie to Darry and say I'm at a friend's."

He breaks away and paces around the room, acting strange again. "I got some food in the fridge."

I cross my arms, putting my weight on one leg. "Can't we get a real meal?"

"I'll order pizza," he suggests He latches the lock on door and dead bolts it.

I follow him around the room, too lazy to turn the lights on and too impatient to wait any longer. "You promised we could have a date tonight. Can we please go out? Just once?"

He shuts the closet and passes me again. He heads over to the window and stares out of the crack from the blinds.

I stand behind him, my arms crossed, still waiting. Why is he acting this way?

"Dally?" I walk closer to him. There are a few cop lights outside. "Are you ok?"

He turns around, touching my face gently. He looks me in the eyes. "I'm always ok."

I put my hand on his. "Are you sure?"

"You remember what I told you? I'm your very own little guardian angel."

I smirk, remembering the conversation we had right after Angela passed away. "Just without the wings and pixie dust?"

"Yeah." He laughs. "Ain't nothing bad gonna happen to ya when I'm around. Got me?"

I nod. He had told me this before, but tonight, it sounded different. Something was up but I decided not to press it. "I know, Dally. I know. Can we go eat now?"

"Just remember that, ok? No matter what happens next. I got your back."

I throw my jacket on, tossing him his. "What's happening?"

"Nothing," he says. "Just tell me you'll remember."

My stomach growls. I need food. "Sure, I'll remember. Can we eat now!?"

His lips curl. "It's time to wake up, Curtis."

I blink my eyes, taking in the brightness of the room and the smell. Cinnamon buns...homemade...with icing. Jennie's here.

I clear my throat, tasting bitterness. Soreness runs down my back as I sit up. "What happened?"

Jennie spins around from the chair she was sleeping in. She jumps over to my side. "Take it easy. You're home. Just don't move too fast. You'll pop your stitches out."

Ow. As if I could forget that pain.

I try to stretch out to the best of my ability but fail.

I watch as Jennie leaves and goes to the bathroom across the hall, returning with a cup of water. She helps me drink it and then gives me the two pills that are sitting next to my bed.

Pills...I will never take another pill again.

I struggle to get them down and then ask again, "What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"No."

She scoots next to me on the bed. I can smell the dough on her shirt. "There was a tornado. You were at Dally's. Which, by the way, was one hell of a stupid idea. Anyway, he carried you out and brought you here. Kathy stitched you up and gave you some medication. Should be fine."

Everything's blurry. My head feels heavy and I shake it a few times to try and clear it up. Why was I at Dally's? "Dally brought me here?"

"Yeah," she says with a smirk that says: 'you're an idiot and Darry's going to give you an earful later.' "You were knocked out though. He said there was a lot of blood."

The smell...God I remember the awful smell.

My eyes search around my room. It's cleaner. Someone's been cleaning and rearranging things. Someone's been in my dresser too. I look down and my shirt and pants are different.

I only hope Jennie or Kathy dressed me.

"Where is everyone?" I ask.

She shrugs, getting up, stretching, and then yawning. "It's six in the morning. My guess is asleep. I'm on watching duty right now. Here, I'll go get Soda."

Carefully and slowly, I pull down my sleeve. The stitches are fresh and the wound is clean. I run my finger across each stitch and it stings. I remember the sound of the wind and the rain and the darkness. I remember the pain and the blood.

"Hey, Dan!" Soda comes in, rubbing his eyes and yawning too. "You're up."

I nod, pulling my shirt back up. "Yeah."

He sits where Jennie was and Jennie sits in his lap. His arms wrap around her waist as he pulls her in.

He sneers at me. "You can imagine our surprise when Dally showed up here with you."

I rub the back of my head. It was important. At least I think it was important. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"So what's that about anyway?"

Jennie answers so I don't have it. "She doesn't remember anything."

Soda looks to me. "You don't?"

I remember bits and pieces. Like talking to Pony before I left. Was I going to Dally's? I was supposed to go get Sarah but I went to Dally's. Then the tornado happened and we ran...

I shake my head, getting tired with the idea of trying to remember. "No. No not really. Is everyone else up? I hear talking downstairs."

"Yeah." He jerks up too quickly and Jennie almost falls to the floor. He catches her and practically runs to the door. "That's just Darry. I'll tell 'em to keep it down. Don't worry about it. Hey, you hungry? I bet your starved. I'll go get you something."

Why is everyone else up at six?

"Jennie, what's going on?"

She brushes off her pants, shaking her head back and forth. "He doesn't want you to know."

"Jennie..." I whine.

She sighs, opening the door. "Just listen. I'm sure you can hear."

I move to the end of the bed and listen closely.

"So when Dale came to talk to you, what did he say?" Darry asks.

Dale...Dale!

There's a short pause before someone answers. "He said he had some jobs for me if I needed some money." Pony. "I really didn't know who he was. Honest."

"He wanted him close by." This is a different voice...Dally. "He already had his eye on Curtis. Just wanted Pony to see if he could get more information. That's my guess anyway."

My eyes dart over to Jennie, who's quietly listening. "Dally's here?"

"They've been up all night," she says softly.

The last time Dally spent the night here was just before we started dating and he got into a fight with Buck. I couldn't imagine why he stayed last night. He had a home, a place to go. I was obviously fine...so why?

Darry speaks up again. "Pony, what did you do for Dale?"

Pony sighs. "Well, Dale isn't real smart, you know. He had these guns. I know I should have left then but he looked harmless and I'd never heard of him before and we needed the money. He told me they were hunting guns."

"And of course you believe him," Darry growls. "Ok, so then what?"

Another sigh. "They're special guns. Really old too. It's hard to build them. So that's what I did. I built his guns for him."

"Pony..." Soda whines.

"I'm sorry. I really am," Pony says "Once I figured out who he was I tried to leave but then he explained the whole deal to me."

"Explained what?" Darry asks.

Dally's the one who answers, his voice low and patchy. "You can't just leave, Dar."

"Then why did he let him leave when he did?"

"Dunno," Dally says. "But by the sound of that letter, it's not over."

Darry does his signature tired sigh. I can picture him rubbing over his face and dark circles. "Can you fix this, Dally?"

There's a long pause and no one speaks. The Dally finally comes out slowly and snappy, "I don't know. I'll take care of it though. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks, Dal," Darry says, slapping his back "I really owe you a lot. Thanks...for everything."

Dally grunts. "Yeah, don't sweat it."

Jennie has fallen asleep. Drool runs down her chin and I take my chance and slowly get up off the bed. I pop my back out. My whole body is stiff and it's difficult to walk straight.

Why hadn't I been told all of this? Why did Soda not want me to know what was going on with Pony? And what was Dally going to do about it and why did he sound so mean about it?

"Let's just face it, Dally. We hate each other. We've made that perfectly clear. We were both running away from each other so when that door opens let's just go along with those plans."

Dally was going to leave! So why was he still here, making more empty promises?

I slide my feet down the hall, the carpet running in-between my toes. The conversation downstairs has turned to cars and the tornado.

I go into the bathroom and slide down against the wall.

"Course I didn't tell no body about you. I only told Maggot about Sam. Figure I'd be the hero for once and save a few lives. Get me one step closer to that mansion up in the sky. Well, our little story doesn't end there. Maggot's got this big plan. Wants to play like old times. Fucker."

I hold my head in place, breathing out slowly with my eyes closed.

"We came up with the stupidest plan ever. I blame Ronnie because I was dealing with my own shit and he pretty much came up with the plan. Steal some money, get you and Emily. God I can't believe I agreed to that. So then we run. Romantic, ain't it? I thought so."

"That's why he wanted you dead. That's why I wanted you away from me, so this wouldn't have happened. So he wouldn't look toward you. You couldn't just stay away though."

"You remember what I told you? I'm your guardian angel?"

"Just remember that, ok? No matter what happens these next few months. I got your back."

Dally slaps his knees, standing up. "Well, I'm gone."

"You're leaving?" My voice comes out small and weak but it draws everyone's eyes to me as I stand at the top of the stairs.

I slowly walk down two stairs, ignoring Darry's over protective eyes that are telling me to get back in bed.

Dally won't look at me, but he's all I can look at.

Soda stands up, pulling on Darry and Ponyboy. "We'll, um, leave you two alone."

"Hey, I wanna watch this!" Pony protests before he is dragged out the back door.

I blink as Dally looks up at me for the first time. His eyes are dark and droopy. His body is slumped and he's not standing with the same type of swagger he always has.

Dally has been beaten. He has pushed his body to new extremes. He has tried to fight himself and his fears for too long and now it's finally catching up to him.

Dallas Winston is tired.

He's so tired.

And I can't help but blame myself. I had given him hell for such small things. I had gotten into something with people I shouldn't have even been around. If it wasn't for me, if it wasn't for Sam, if it wasn't for Jason, we wouldn't be in this spot right now. If I had just gone home that night.

That's the past though, and I can't do anything about it

This I can do something about. I had promised him something.

"Hey," I speak up.

He rolls his eyes, turning away. "Shouldn't you be in bed or something?"

I take another step down until I'm off the stairs and standing in front of him. "Are you going answer my question?"

"Dale ain't dead," he says angrily, spitting out fire. "I gotta go." He reaches for the door.

I step to his side quickly. "Wait. Dale's alive?"

He nods, not saying anything more about the subject.

How is Dale alive? Dally shot him. I saw it all. There was blood all around him.

How come he gets to survive? Why does he get to be shot and bleed on the floor and then get to walk away?

I roll my eyes, suddenly getting very angry. "So what are you going to do, Dally? Go kill him for real this time? Maybe go get Maggot while you're at it? Then what?"

"Fuck off, Curtis," he spits. "This doesn't involve you anymore."

I shake my head. How could he be so...stupid!? "You're going to kill yourself or get yourself killed...I don't want you to leave and have that on my conscience."

He smirks a bit, turning his head to the side. "Well we wouldn't that now would we?"

"Please don't leave."

His face turns stone again. "Why?"

I swallow hard. "Because I want you here. I-I want you here, with me. I-If you still want to."

"Curtis..."

"I don't understand you sometimes. A lot of the time. You're not one to always tell the truth or voice your feelings and that's just you. I can admit when I'm wrong though. Not about everything, but a lot. I still blame you for some things."

He sneers.

"I guess you weren't hurting me. You were protecting me...weren't you? All this time...you had my back. So thank you. I-I just wanted to tell you that before you left."

"You remember?"

I nod. "Yeah. I remember everything."

"Fantastic," he says rudely, going for the door again. "I gotta go, Curtis."

My head drops and I look at my feet. I should have known that wouldn't work. It was too far gone. Everything was too far gone at this point. "I understand."

He stops, facing the door. "No you don't."

"I can't stop you though, can I?" I ask, a hint of hope still in my voice.

He shakes his head. "Nope."

I step forward, wanting to touch him but pulling back at the last minute seeing how tense he is. "What if I told you I think I love you? Would you stay?"

He sighs, but he's still serious and not turning around. "Don't gravel, Curtis. It's not becoming."

"I mean it," I tell him. "Dally, I love you. I know you do too. Soda told me what you said to him."

I knew he wouldn't say anything about that. Soda had told me three days ago. He sat me down, telling me that he knew what I did with Dally and admitting what Dally had told him.

It made me angry.

So damn angry.

I didn't understand why.

Maybe because I didn't want to admit that I felt the same way. Maybe I was scared. I'm still scared. I'm so scared. I'm scared for Dally. I'm scared for my family. I'm scared for myself. I'm scared Dally will leave and I'll never see him alive again.

Dally still faces the wall, not caring. "It doesn't matter, Curtis."

"Dally...please," I beg. "If you feel the same way, stay."

"My car's running."

My bottom lip shakes, but I put an end to it. Don't cry. Don't make this any worse. Just don't cry now. Wait until he leaves and you're all alone, in your room, and then you can cry for days.

"Ok."

The door opens and I can see Rick's car in the drive away.

My heart sinks to my stomach. "Hey, Dally, wait!"

He, surprisingly, stops. "What?"

"I...I'll miss you, Dally," I say softly, still struggling to stop myself from crying. It never works. "Thank you again...for everything. For my life. For everything we had. Thank you."

He doesn't run away. His back is still turned to me but he's not running.

I chock on a sob. "I-I'll see you."

"No you won't," he says harshly. "Bye, Curtis."

The door slams behind him, and I'm left standing alone.

Now I can cry.

"Bye, Dally. Bye."

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back. The less I give the more I get back. Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise. I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you. Oh I don't love you but I always will. I always will.

A/N: Last chapter ahead! Prepare yourselves!