AN: SO STRANGELY ENOUGH MY MOTHER JUST GAVE ME MY LAPTOP BACK SO NOW I CAN UPDATE AGAIN.

AN: SO THIS IS IT THE LAST FULL CHAPTER OF 9 YEARS WITHOUT YOU, HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED WRITING IT.

AN: THE EPILOGUE IS A SEPARATE CHAPTER FYI.

AN: PLEASE REVIEW I ENJOY YOUR FEEDBACK AND IT REALLY HELPS MY WRITING SKILLS.

I DON'T OWN CHUCK BUT I REALLY WISH I DID.

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 15: Damaged

"The shock of any trauma, I think changes your life. It's more acute in the beginning and after a little time you settle back to what you were. However it leaves an indelible mark on your psyche."

Unknown

The Comms Van

9:30 P.M.

Sarah's eyes opened slowly, she felt groggy and her mind was all fuzzy. She blinked a few times as she sat up. As she took in her surroundings she tried to remember what had happened, then the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Chuck! Where is Chuck?" she looked around the strange van before noticing Casey and Gertrude in the front seats.

"Hey your awake." Casey stopped the van and looked back. Gertrude turned around and walked between the two captains chairs into the back.

"How are you feeling Sarah? You passed out on us, we thought we lost you." Sarah attempted to get out but Gertrude stopped her.

"Where is Chuck? Where is my husband?"

45 Minutes ago

Bullets flew by them as Casey, Chuck and Sarah's unconscious body crouched behind a brick wall. The Masked Man's men had them pinned down and it didn't look good. Chuck was looking at Sarah wondering if this was the end for them. They had managed to move the forty feet from her cell to the intersection in the hallway where they had quickly become pinned. Word had come over the comms that the tact team had been eliminated. Casey had been doing the shooting as of late as Chuck had been holding onto Sarah. Chuck was getting aggravated at the current situation, Casey couldn't do this but he could. With the help of the Intersect he could get them out, but he didn't know if he was prepared to do anything necessary. Casey looked at Chuck before reloading. Chuck put his hand on Casey's shoulder and spoke.

"My turn." Casey simply nodded as Chuck flashed, several different things flashed through Chuck's head.

Krav Maga Fighting Techniques

Tactical Weapons Usage Techniques

Ninjitsu

Knife Skills

Chuck's eyes opened and he knew that he was ready for this; Chuck pulled the pin on a flash bang grenade and threw it down the hall. After hearing the load bang Chuck whipped around the corner and started dropping guys one after another. The Intersect was in total control as he continued to kill any enemy combatant that he saw. All the enemy combatants in the hallway had been eliminated and the dust had settled. Casey came from around the corner fireman carrying Sarah. Chuck put his assault rifle over his shoulder and picked up a shotgun off of the ground.

"Keep moving." It was all Chuck said as he walked down the hallway leading to the stairs. Chuck knew that the next set of guys would probably be set up at or near the stairs so he pulled a Grenade off of his vest and threw it down the stairs. There were many screams followed closely by a loud explosion. Chuck motioned for Casey to wait there as he checked the stairs.

"Okay were clear let's go." Said Chuck was he walked quickly down the stairs. There was blood everywhere at the bottom of the stairs as several corpses laid scattered all over the floor. Chuck noticed a camera looking right at him and looked into it before shooting it with his pistol.

As the camera operator watched the camera feed go off line he looked up at The Masked Man and spoke.

"What do we do sir he just blew through 35 men without a scratch?" the masked man continued to look at the other feeds as he grabbed his pistol off the table and walked up to the door.

"Push him towards the back alley I'll deal with him there." The Masked Man walked out the door leaving the camera operator wondering how to do that.

They were at the final stretch so to speak. The door leading to the alley was in sight. They had spent the better part of 30 minutes fighting there way to here and they were once again pinned down. They were nearly out of ammo and the enemy combatants were closing in quickly. Chuck looked over at Casey and spoke.

"It looks like this is the end of the road my friend." Chuck was out of ammo so he put his weapon on the ground a held Sarah close one last time. He kissed the top of her head as a tear ran down his face. He closed his eyes waiting for the end. There was a lone gunshot followed closely by a loud explosion and then a deafening quiet. Chuck opened his eyes slowly and stood up to look around. Everybody was dead; the wall was on fire a lone gas line ruptured. Casey picked up Sarah and walked out into the alley followed by Chuck. Chuck and Casey walked down the alley quickly, when Chuck heard a robotic voice call his name, he stopped and turned around. The Masked Man walked out from behind some pipes and looked at Chuck. The Masked Man's usual brown trench coat was missing along with his shirt revealing his massive upper body.

"Chuck Bartowski it is time to face your destiny." Said The Masked Man as he slowly walked toward them.

"Casey take Sarah and go wait in the car I'll be there in a minute." Chuck dropped his shotgun and his assault rifle and walked toward him. Casey looked on as they stared down one another, he was surprised at how much bigger The Masked Man was then Chuck.

The Masked Man looked at Chuck and laughed.

"I want you to see what you did to me before I kill you." The Masked Man reached back and released the latch that kept the mask on his face and let the mask fall to the ground revealing his scarred face. Chuck unzipped his bulletproof vest and dropped it to the ground to allow him more mobility.

"I promise you Chuck that when I capture Sarah again I'll make her death quick and painless. You on the other hand won't be so lucky." The Masked Man threw a flurry of punches and kicks before Chuck had time to flash causing Chuck to receive a large amount of punishment. Chuck stumbled backwards and collected himself before flashing. He smiled as he stepped toward the masked man throwing punches and kicks left and right. The Masked Man was having little trouble blocking Chuck's attack and before Chuck knew it The Masked Man started attacking again. Chuck had less trouble blocking punches this time but still received a nasty hook right into his jaw knocking him off his feet.

"You fight like a young man, with nothing held back, Admirable but foolish." The Masked Man reached down and picked up Chuck holding him over his head.

"I was wondering what would break first your mind, or your body." The masked man threw Chuck down onto the harsh dirt of the ground. Chuck flipped over and looked at The Masked Man.

"What are you?" asked Chuck. The Masked Man looked down at him before speaking.

"I am your reckoning Chuck." Chuck stood up again and faced him, his face bleeding, his balance somewhat wobbly. He could barely stand up let alone fight but he did anyway. Chuck flashed again and threw a punch; The Masked Man blocked it with ease as he thrust a knife forward into Chuck's abdomen. Chuck cried out in pain as he fell to the ground. Chuck took the knife and pulled it out of his body before throwing it away. The Masked Man grabbed a weak Chuck by the shirt and stood him back up. Chuck threw another punch and missed again. The Masked Man picked up a metal pipe and turned to face Chuck again. Chuck initiated another attack but was met with a surprise when the metal pipe first blocked his punch then struck his left knee. Chuck cried out in pain once again as he sank to the ground once again. Chuck looked on as The Masked Man walked around as if he was thinking about what to do next. Chuck looked at his legs; the left knee was horribly disfigured. When he looked at his right leg he spotted a spare pistol that he forgot that he was carrying. He quickly pulled it out and looked at The Masked Man. The Masked Man turned in time to see Chuck raise the pistol and fire fifteen shots all making contact. The Masked Man stumbled before finally falling to the ground fall down in the mud. Chuck dropped the pistol and flipped over, he had to get to the van. He was in excruciating pain his left knee completely useless. He had to get back to Sarah; Chuck began to slowly crawl through the mud even though he knew that it was useless. Chuck was losing blood and he knew that he was going to die. He fought the impending darkness but eventually gave in knowing that he had completed his mission.

"Goodbye Sarah." Chuck lost consciousness and fell limp.

9:35 P.M.

Casey and Gertrude shared a knowing look before Casey spoke

"We don't know for sure, after we got out of that building The Masked Man cornered us. Chuck told me to get to the car and wait there. That was nearly thirty minutes ago. We've been circling the block ever since." Sarah was reeling she didn't know what to think.

"I have to go find him, take me back to the building. I have to go, I have to save him. I can't live without him." Sarah was adamant she wouldn't take no for an answer. As they pulled up to the alley Sarah threw open the door and sprinted into the alley. Sarah stopped at the loading dock and looked around, Flames shot out of every door and window. The building was a blaze as smoke flew up into the sky. As she looked around she spotted two bodies lying in the mud about 50 feet away. Sarah sprinted over to the bodies, they were both lying face down. There was blood everywhere; it was truly a ghastly sight. Sarah crouched down and flipped over one of the bodies, the man was rather large and muscular. When she flipped him over she couldn't believe whom she saw, it was The Masked Man. His chest had numerous gunshot wounds in it and he was covered in blood. As she flipped over the significantly lankier body she nearly lost it.

"Chuck! Wake up honey, Chuck!" she shook his body furiously as tears threatened to fall.

"Chuck! Please don't leave me, I can't live without you, please wake up." She fell on top of him her head and arms falling onto his chest as she continued to sob.

"I'm so sorry Chuck, I failed you, I'm so sorry." She planted a sad kiss on his forehead her tears falling onto his face.

"I'm sorry Chuck, You saved me and it cost you your life." Sarah sat back as she looked at his face, it was contorted in pain.

"Why god? I'm not worth saving! I'm just not!" Sarah pounded on his chest in catharsis; she couldn't loose him now. They had been through so much and this is how it ended. Sarah cried out in anguish as she slumped over Chuck.

"He could do so much better then me, I'm simply not worth so much sacrifice." She continued to cry as her head rested on his chest.

"Yes you are…" Sarah's head shot up as she looked at Chuck.

"You are worth saving, you are worth such sacrifice." He was super weak but he had to comfort her, he lifted his hand and rubbed her cheek. She was shocked into silence, he was alive!

"Chuck?" her voice was shaky as hear sobs subsided.

"I'm never leaving you Sarah I promise." She smiled as she practically leapt into his arms planting kisses all over his dirty face. As she helped him sit up she noticed a big blood spot on his left side.

"Oh my god Chuck you're hurt." She also noticed that his left knee was severely injured. She cringed at the sight of it.

"He shattered my knee during the fight after he stabbed me with a knife." She looked around and spotted a bloody knife about six feet away.

"I killed him Sarah, I killed The Masked Man." Sarah knew that he was hurting both mentally and physically and that he needed help.

"Chuck we need to get you out of here okay I'm going to help you stand up don't put weight on that leg." Chuck nodded then gritted his teeth as Sarah got under his left arm and helped him get up. As Chuck started to hop his way down the alley toward there van he cried out as he stumbled a little Sarah caught him but it was still incredibly painful.

Casey and Gertrude were standing outside waiting for Sarah when they heard the scream of a man; they went to investigate. Chuck and Sarah were slowly making there way down the alley when they saw Casey and Gertrude walking towards them.

"He is hurt and he needs help." Yelled Sarah as their two friends ran toward them. When Casey and Gertrude finally got to them they looked at Chuck and couldn't believe the sight before them. Chuck was a mess he had bloodstains all over his clothes his knee was a grotesque sight and he was bleeding.

"Oh my god." Said Casey in shock. Casey replaced Sarah in the helping Chuck department considering that Casey was taller and stronger. Gertrude ran to get the van.

"How did this happen?" Asked Casey as Chuck winced in pain.

"He hit me in the knee with a metal pipe." Casey just nodded in acknowledgment. Moments later Gertrude returned with the van, once stopped Sarah opened up the sliding door and helped put Chuck inside the van. As they all drove away a lone Fire truck sped past them. They all turned around in time to see the hospital building collapse into rubble thus ending a horrible chapter in all of their lives.

XXXXXXXXXX

Westside Medical, Los Angelis California

3:00 A.M.

5 Days Later

He couldn't sleep simple as that; images of the past two weeks float through his head like a never-ending movie, terrible images almost burned into his subconscious. He couldn't make it stop, all he saw when he closed his eyes was them, all of them. All the men he killed all the helpless people he didn't save, couldn't save. All the helpless slaves that burned to death, all of the prisoners that he couldn't release. He hadn't slept in days, rest was like the door at the end of the dark hallway that he couldn't reach no matter how hard he ran, of coarse he knew exactly why, he missed Sarah. She was staying at Gertrude and Casey's place. Their house was gone and the guesthouse was full to the brim. The doctor had said that Chuck had a concussion and would have to walk with a cane for about a year but that he was totally fine otherwise, they were keeping him in the hospital and wouldn't let him leave considering the massive blood lose that he suffered. They had operated on his leg and had stitched up the knife wound. Casey had done a good job stopping the bleeding but the hospital stitched it up.

He remembered the morning that they had gotten back to the United States; everyone was there to greet them. They didn't expect what they saw; most were horrified. You could tell that Ellie was trying not to cry, seeing her little brother so broken and suffering just broke her heart. Sarah and Emma shared a touching embrace as a medical team met them at the airfield and took Chuck straight to Westside Medical where he was now. Sarah was a little shaken but otherwise totally fine, She visited during the day along with pretty much everybody else he knew. The last time he slept was on the plane with Sarah in his arms.

6:00 A.M.

Chuck had managed to dose off a little but it still didn't help. He was lying on his bed looking at the TV when he heard a knock on the door; he looked over and was greeted with a sleepy looking Sarah smiling at him.

"Hey." Sarah said quietly as she walked into the room. He smiled at her as she bent down and gave him a sweet kiss.

"So how is my husband doing this beautiful morning?" Sarah sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at him. He looked super tired, she wondered if he had been sleeping. Chuck sighed in exasperation it was a good question how was he doing? He could tell her and risk her reply or he could lie and tell her what she wanted to hear. He hated lying to her but the risk of her reaction was far to great, if she didn't like what she heard and she left again… Ellie wouldn't be able to save him this time. No he would stall and tell her what she wanted to hear. It just wasn't the right time. Sarah could see the indecision on his face it was only there for a second but it told her all that she needed to know. He smiled up at her and leaned forward to give her a kiss.

"I'm doing great honey." He lied; he lied to her. Sarah could tell that he was not doing great, but she would wait she had to let him come to terms with whatever happened. Only then would he be able to talk to her about it. She smiled back at him then looked at the TV. Sarah gave Chuck a concerned look as she spoke

"So have you been sleeping? You look exhausted." Chuck shook his head no and sighed.

"I miss my wife to much to sleep, now if I could go home I'd sleep like a baby." He laughed at her stunned look. That stunned look turned sad and Sarah's eyes became moist. Chuck noticed instantly.

"Hey honey it's okay I was just kidding." He brought his hand up to her face and caressed her cheek.
"Chuck we don't have a home. He took away everything; he nearly took you away from me. When I saw you face down in the mud in that alley I've never been so scared in my entire life. When I couldn't wake you it felt like my world was dying in my arms, like I had lost the only thing that made me a real person. I'm still scared, every time I look at you I see the damage that he did to us and how close both of us came to losing it all. We have nothing now, no house, no clothes, and no possession. He's taken everything, I'm just glad that I got to you in time before you bled to death." Sarah collapsed into him and cried. Chuck did what he did best…

"Sarah he is dead I promise you that he'll never hurt you again, it's over. I ended it, you have nothing to fear, and don't forget that you have me. I'll slay any demon, take on any criminal whatever it takes to make you happy because you mean everything to me." Chuck kissed the top of her head as the sobs subsided.

"Thank you Chuck you sacrifice so much for me and I don't thank you enough for it, all you do is give and nobody ever takes the time to think about you not even me as much as I should. All I ever do is take, take, take and I never give back. I selfishly left you for nearly a decade and you took me back like nothing happened." All of these new emotions were hitting Sarah all at the same time it was overwhelming.

"I don't sacrifice Sarah, if I didn't want to do it then I would do it. I do it because I love you more than anything else on this earth. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you Sarah I love you." Chuck kissed her on the lips with such passion that neither of them had ever experienced before.

"Sorry Chuck I didn't mean to unload all of that on you so soon I'm just decompressing from last week. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now." Chuck just kissed her again and held her tight, she needed this and that was all that mattered they could worry about him later.

"Don't apologize It is better then bottling it up inside." Sarah climbed into the bed and laid down on his right side, as she snuggled in close a massive sense of security descended onto her. Even though it was morning they were both exhausted and fell asleep in each other's arms. Chuck had fallen asleep but Sarah was just reveling in the feeling of security.

"I love you Chuck and I promise to make sure you forget all about this terrible week." She kissed his chin then fell asleep.

11:00 A.M.

Casey walked down the hallway headed towards Chuck's room he couldn't shake the image of Chuck after the fight. It was horrifying; he had seen terrible things but that was just horrible. A person like Chuck didn't deserve such a gruesome injury. A torn ACL, torn MCL a sprained Meniscus and a shattered knee joint. He would never have full movement of that knee again. Even with the new knee joint that they gave him and the year of rehab he had ahead of him he would never be the same. Chuck had to do some horrible thing to get them out of there; The Masked Man had set a trap and cornered them in that hallway. The tactical team was wiped out they didn't even get into the building before he attacked them. The fighting lasted a good fortyfive minutes as they fought their way out.

As Casey walked into Chuck's room he saw one of the most beautiful things he had ever laid eyes on. Chuck and Sarah were wrapped in each other's arms sleeping peacefully. Casey decided to head out into the hall and wait for them to wake they deserved a little time to them selves.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Emma was leaning on the wall just outside the door; Casey hadn't even seen her.

"Yeah I guess." Emma smiled at him, he always had to do the tough guy act. Emma continued.

"It almost makes you feel sorry for them, they never get a break, they always have to watch out, always have to be alert. They haven't had one day of just normal married couple. Its sad to see my own daughter so wound up all of the time, never able to just relax. Life has fought them tooth and nail since the day they were born." Casey nodded before speaking.

"They will, they'll have their time. Once this is all over they'll finally be able to sit down and relax." Sarah snuggled into Chuck's right side as Casey walked back into the room Sarah stirred and opened her eyes. As she starred up at Casey she wondered what he was doing. As Sarah started to sit up Casey realized what she was doing.

"No, no its okay lie back down, no need to sit up. I just came to tell you something important." She was intrigued by Casey's last statement. Casey sat down in a chair as he cleared his throat preparing to say some hard things to say.

"Chuck was so determined to get you back before the masked man sent the video. He was going to succeed you could tell. Then he got the Masked Mans video and it all went to hell." Casey gave a somber chuckle.

"A trade is what he purposed, you for Chuck. Of course Chuck planed to make the trade he really planned on trading." Sarah's breathe caught in her throat.

"You're kidding." Said Sarah quietly trying not to wake Chuck.

"I'm serious, he figured that if you were safe and able to live and move on then his mission would be a success. He knew that his death would be a tragic blow but that you would eventually move on and find someone else to make you happy, all he wants is you to be safe and happy even if that meant without him." Casey became really somber as he looked at Chuck.

"We showed up to the meeting place expecting you and The Masked Man to be there. It was a trap, they attacked us and we ended up capturing one of them."

Sarah was stunned silent she didn't know what to think.

"Chuck insisted that he interrogate the son of a bitch, I begged for him to let me do it but he was insistent. He tore that man apart, it was a terrible sight." Sarah was horrified, she looked at Chuck wide eyed as Casey continued.

"The man just wouldn't quit, he was pushing Chucks patients with snide comments about how good of a fuck you were two years ago. But Everybody talks and so did he, after Chuck had shattered one of his hands, shattered both knees and used a power drill to drill through the other hand he finally broke. As time went on the comments started to get grosser and grosser. But he continued with the snide comments until finally Chuck ran out of patients and emptied a pistol into the mans chest. I never knew Chuck had it in him, to kill in cold blood, I guess I was wrong." Sarah looked down at Chuck a tear dripping down her cheek.

"Oh Chuck." Casey could sense that Sarah was about to lose it and that he needed to get to the point.

"Now Sarah I didn't tell you all of that to make you feel bad, I told you that to show you what you're up against here. Chuck isn't okay not even a little bit, he is hurting, everyone can tell and I think he is bottling it up inside afraid to tell you." She looked at him like he was crazy.

"He is afraid of that off chance that you might not like what you hear and leave. Now I know that it won't happen but he doesn't, he's scared and you need to talk to him, don't wait for him to do it. Remember he is afraid of you're reaction. He'll never bring it up, you have to." Casey walked out having said exactly what he needed to say. Sarah admired Casey he was simply looking out for them. Sarah looked down at Chuck and noticed the sad grimace on his face as he slept. She kissed his lips and snuggled back into him before whispering

"We'll get through this Chuck, I'll never leave you again I love you and that's a promise."

XXXXXXXXXX

3 Days Later

Chuck and Sarah had been driving in the Lamborghini for about an hour. Sarah was really enjoying the Aventador it was truly a magnificent machine, she had to drive because Chuck was on painkillers to help with the pain in his leg and side. This route was starting to look really familiar and she had a feeling that she knew where they were going.

"Are we going where I think we're going Chuck?" she gave him a sly grin as anticipation built up inside her. He nodded as he gave her a bright smile.

"We're going home Sarah, something long over due." Sarah reached over and grabbed his hand and held it trying to relay all the love that she had for him.

"I love you so much Chuck." he smiled at her as he responded.

"I love you more then you know Sarah." he turned his head and spots the house approaching on the right.

"look honey there it is!" Says Sarah in excitement, she quickly pulls into the driveway and gets out to look at the house. Sarah realizes that Chuck is still in the car so she runs over to the trunk and pulls out his crutches. As Sarah helped Chuck out of the car he smiled at her. Once they were both safely out of the car Sarah kissed Chuck passionately on the lips careful not to knock him over.

"Lets go inside shall we." Said Chuck as he moved along slowly toward the door. Once they were at the door Chuck typed a code into the keypad and unlocked the door. Sarah went inside first and gasped as she saw the classically nerdy way that Chuck had decorated. It was a perfect balance between Nerdy and Sarah's more classic homey style. It took her breath away how perfect the place was pictures were scattered all over the place along with various little trinkets and plants.

"Wow Chuck it's perfect, where did you get all the pictures I thought that we lost all of them when the house was destroyed?" he smiled at her as he replied.

"These are the originals I had them copy every photo, I knew that you would comeback eventually comeback so I made this house as close to how I thought we would have done it. All of your close are in the master bedroom closet waiting for you. Everything from the apartment is in this house. I couldn't just move on, this was our house so everything we owned is in this house." She was speechless it was so heart felt what he had just said. Ellie and the Woodcombs had left the previous day for Chicago alone with his mother.

"I love you Chuck." Sarah ran into Chuck's arms and planted numerous sloppy kisses all over his face. Chuck laughed as he reciprocated the kisses and held her tight. They were finally home and it was great, though they had lots of work to do towards forgetting and moving on they were home and that's all that mattered the rest could be dealt with later.

AN: SO THE EPILOGUE IS NEXT ENJOY :D