Sheldon was only peripherally aware of the restaurant or his dinner that evening. Penny's nearness distracted him. He also kept replaying their conversation in his mind, wondering if he could ever decipher the mystery of how her illogical mind worked. He had attempted to be factually honest with her earlier, and it had failed so spectacularly that he still couldn't quite comprehend it. He couldn't understand her; worse, he had no idea why he had kissed her, or why part of him wanted to do it again. Even as he kept up his end of the conversation with "fun facts" and small talk, he couldn't stop thinking about the way her body had felt pressed against his. In his mind, he kept picturing their wedding photos, especially the one of their first kiss as husband and wife. That phrase, "husband and wife", should have filled him with overwhelming panic. The problem was, he had been so focused on the worst case scenario that when he found he had married his closest female friend, it was a relief - almost anticlimactic. Penny was his wife. He had kissed her and touched her and lost his virginity to her. Even though he didn't remember that night, there was no one else with whom he had ever felt so close.
After dinner, they wandered back to their hotel, pausing to stop and watch the Bellagio fountains. Penny leaned against the balustrade with the lights casting multihued highlights in her hair. She looked down. The ground was littered with brochures for gentlemen's clubs and escort services.
"I never really apologized for leaving that escort ad on your nightstand, did I?" she asked softly. "I had no idea how much it would bother you. I should've. I mean, I know what you're like and… I was only thinking about myself. I'm sorry."
"We each had a piece of the puzzle," he said slowly. "You knew we had coitus, but not that we had married. I knew I had wed someone and… participated… three times on my wedding night, but I thought I had married someone vastly inappropriate. I was relieved to discover that the woman I married was you. You're the only woman of my acquaintance that I deem acceptable."
Penny chuckled, and he looked at her quizzically. He hadn't meant to be funny. She grinned at him. "I don't know whether I should take your calling me 'acceptable' as a compliment or an insult," she said, rolling her eyes.
"It's a statement of fact," he replied.
"Okay… in that case, going at it three times when you're so drunk you can barely stand is an impressive fact." She was smiling at him, with one eyebrow raised. Her smile seemed to contain some context he didn't quite understand.
He swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how close she was standing. "Is coitus all that you think about?" he demanded.
"You're the one who brought it up," she challenged, and he found to his chagrin that she was right.
"We certainly don't have much in common. The odds of our getting married must have been extremely small," he mused. "It defies all statistical probability."
"I like the idea of defying the odds," she answered. She looked up at him, and her eyes were gentle and full of acceptance. He touched the side of her face with his fingertips and watched in fascination as she turned her head and grazed his palm with her lips. An enigmatic smile transformed her face. He dropped his hand to her shoulder as she drew closer and slid her arms around his waist. He stepped into her embrace and held her, once again marveling at how right it felt to have her in his arms. She had once told him that when it came to initiating sex, she was a "big ol' five" - she liked to initiate all the time. He was well aware that she must be curbing some of her more aggressive impulses for his sake, which he appreciated. It would be easy for her to press him beyond his comfort zone. Regardless of whether they had coitus before, he wasn't yet ready to do so sober.
Yet as he had told her, intoxication only lowered inhibitions. That meant he must have desired her, and his response to her must mean that on some subconscious level, he still wanted her. A cognitive leap suddenly flashed through his mind, and he tensed with the shock of it. Why hadn't he thought of that before? Intoxication couldn't cause a person to act completely against their will; it freed people to act on their subliminal desires. Which meant that on some level, Penny must have wanted to marry him. His heart was racing almost as quickly as his thoughts. All those years she had spent with Leonard, assiduously avoiding making any kind of commitment or declaration of love which he desperately longed for… had she been held back by some secret feelings for the other guy next door? He remembered vividly the day that Penny had moved in, flashing her bright, open smile at both of them. Leonard had quickly called "dibs" on her, which had made absolutely no sense to him at the time. He'd never shown the least romantic interest in any woman before, while his fickle roommate fell in and out of love - or at least, lust - on a regular basis. Had there always been some esoteric connection between him and Penny, one strong enough to cause Leonard to act even more foolishly than usual around a pretty woman? A shiver ran through him. He didn't believe in fate, kismet, or divine intervention, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was an esoteric link between him and Penny, of a type that science had yet to discover.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly, and he realized the rigidity of his posture must have communicated something to her which she interpreted as distress. He allowed the tension to seep out of his body and leaned in toward her just a little bit more.
"Yes, everything is just fine," he answered, permitting himself a smile as his chin rested on top of her head. He breathed in the green apple scent of her hair and found it soothing.
Penny sat on the side of her hotel bed and tossed her gorgeous new heels off to the side without a second thought. She was too consumed with thoughts of the fact that she had just been out on a date with Sheldon and had a good time. He had still been stubborn, exacting, obsessed with details and skittish about being touched. But he had also clearly been making an effort to meet her halfway, something she never would've expected. He'd never had a girlfriend before, so when he told her he wanted to stay married to her, it had thrown her for a loop. She wasn't sure why she'd even agreed to this, except that in the chapel, she'd seen something unguarded in his face… some part of him that was vulnerable but willing to open up to her. If she hadn't seen that look with her own eyes, she would have suspected he found something convenient about a ready-made marriage. Although what that might be, she couldn't imagine. She didn't cook, he didn't want her to do his cleaning or laundry, and he was the only straight guy in the universe who didn't lust after her. Especially knowing how much he hated change, there was no logical reason why he should want to stay married to her… and yet he did.
He was... unbending... was the best word that she could think of to describe his behavior. He was still Sheldon, but a slightly more relaxed version of himself. He had let her in a little at the chapel, and then a little more at the mall and at the fountains. She had slipped her hand into his as they walked back to their hotel, and while he had looked startled, he hadn't pulled away. Just a few minutes ago, outside the door of her adjoining hotel rooms, she had told him that a good date had to at least end with a kiss, and he hadn't even argued. She had carefully pressed her lips against his for a few seconds, far less time than she wanted, but he didn't freak out on her. In fact, his hands had crept around her waist, and when she pulled away, he looked a little dazed, and she counted that as a victory.
On an impulse, she got up and checked the door connecting their rooms. It was locked, of course… not that she had any idea what she would've done if it had been unlocked. Probably freaked out and locked the door from her side.
They would be going back home tomorrow. She suddenly remembered that it had only been a few weeks since Leonard moved in with Priya. When she and Sheldon told their friends they were dating, would anyone assume that was the reason? That the two of them were just pathetic losers whose lives fell apart without Leonard? Yup, she was sure that was what Bernie would think. And Amy, would she be mad or just think her "bestie" had gone off the deep end? She sucked in a deep breath, wishing that Sheldon was a little more normal. If he was, she could just arrange for some of their friends to "accidentally" discover her making out with him. Acceptance might come easier then. She sighed, flopping backwards onto the bed. Since when had she started to care so much what other people thought? Sure, they were her friends, but within their group, mocking and belittling had become the standard way they interacted. Screw them, she suddenly thought, sitting up. She got to her feet and unzipped her dress, dropping it on the floor. Just let them try and make fun of Sheldon, she thought, pacing angrily. No, that's too impersonal… my Moonpie, she thought. If they give my Moonpie a hard time, I'll make sure they regret it. She tossed her bra in one direction and kicked the matching thong off in another direction. Proudly, she surveyed her reflection in the mirror. A fierce warrior queen stared back at her, and she remembered her avatar from Age of Conan: Queen Penelope. She was Queen Penelope, and nobody was going to tell her what to do. She slid naked between the cool white sheets and stretched luxuriously across the king-sized bed. Her gaze flicked to the adjoining door, and she wondered what Sheldon was doing on the other side of that door. Was he thinking about her? Was he also wondering what might happen if he had left the door between their rooms unlocked?
No, she thought and then, with a saucy grin, At least, not yet.