Penny woke the next morning to the sound of Sheldon tapping his familiar pattern on the door which separated their rooms. It was simultaneously cute and annoying. She was sprawled diagonally across the bed, having kicked half the bedding onto the floor during the night. Grabbing a thick white terrycloth robe provided by the hotel, she remembered what she had been thinking right before she fell asleep: Queen Penelope. That must have been why she'd had such a restless night. Like Sheldon's knock, the idea of emulating her avatar was both appealing and a little silly, but maybe it was exactly what she needed to knock her out of the rut her life had gotten into lately. Except for that bizarre exception of running off and marrying Sheldon, and then somehow letting him talk her into staying married to give it a trial run. She might have wondered what the hell was wrong with her, but from the way she felt her face break into a smile as soon as she saw him, she already had some idea.

"Hey, Moonpie," she said, teasingly.

Of course, he immediately shot back, "No one calls me Moonpie but Meemaw." Then his expression turned thoughtful. "I suppose I can allow you one term of endearment, as long as it isn't too nauseating."

"I already call you 'sweetie'. Isn't that good enough?"

He frowned. "According to Leonard, that particular epithet usually prefaces some sort of sarcastic comment from you which is directed at either myself, Raj, or Leonard. You also used to call me 'honey' until you started dating Leonard, at which point you used that term exclusively for him."

"Okay, how about I call you 'babe'?" she asked, grinning.

"I resent the implication that I am an infant," he growled.

"No, no, 'babe' can be really sexy. Watch." She pushed the lapels of the robe off the edge of her shoulders and walked her fingers up his chest. He watched her, wide-eyed, as she tossed her long hair over one shoulder and gave him a smoldering look and a wicked little grin. "Hey, babe," she said in a throaty whisper.

He backed up quickly, hands held in loose fists against his body like he was scared he might accidentally touch some part of her.

Oh, that's just great, she thought sarcastically. Of course, her hitting on him would freak him out. With a sigh, she stepped back and pulled the lapels of her robe closed.

"You came here to tell me something?" she prompted.

He nodded, still looking ready to rabbit if someone said "boo" to him. "It's nine o'clock. The continental breakfast bar closes in an hour, so I came to make sure you were awake."

She nodded. "I'll meet you down there in, like, half an hour."

"Penny…" he whined, sounding agitated.

"What?"

"You are rarely punctual…"

"Hey, watch it, Mister," she growled. He twitched slightly, and she knew that he was weighing the risks of telling her his title was Doctor, not Mister. Apparently, he decided not to pick that particular battle at this moment. "I would appreciate it if you would make every attempt to be on time at precisely nine-thirty," he explained. "We are already in a highly unusual situation, and I find routine and order to be comforting."

Immediately, she felt bad about teasing him. "I can't promise anything, but I'll do my best. Now get out of here so I can go take my shower." She flapped her hands at him in a shooing gesture, and he quickly retreated.

Her hair was still sopping wet when she walked into the breakfast area, but she was two minutes early. Sheldon had eaten at six-thirty that morning, but he grabbed an apple and joined her at one of the little round tables. While she scarfed down a cheese danish with her morning coffee, he washed his apple with some sort of special wipes he had in his pocket, cut it into precise slices, and was still ready to leave before she was. They were on the road back to Pasadena by ten.

On the drive, Penny kept glancing over at Sheldon. His usual protest that her "check engine" light was on had been followed by an offer to pay to have her car repaired. That had taken her by surprise. She refused, of course, and was relieved he didn't feel the need to explain his sudden generosity. They both knew why: it was the same reason that he had blithely handed her one of his credit cards the other night. In his mind, either she belonged to him, or she was his responsibility. She wasn't sure which, and she really didn't want to know. It was just one more bizarre aspect of this whole surreal weekend.

"We should devise a strategy to implement our paradigm alteration," Sheldon said, interrupting her train of thought.

"Huh?" Honestly, sometimes when he used such big words, it took her a moment to figure out what he was saying. "You want to come up with a plan because we're dating?"

"Yes. Very good, Penny. Specifically, we will need to determine at what point we should inform our friends, and in what manner."

Since she was looking over at him, she caught the slight tic beneath his left eye and knew he was nervous about telling everyone, especially Leonard.

"I think we should tell them all at once. If we don't, there'll be gossiping and rumors, and it'll just make it worse." She glanced over at him again. "Did you tell anyone where we were going this weekend?"

"No. Again, it was not something I wished to discuss with anyone." He paused and looked over at her. "I'm no longer experiencing quite the same horror over my actions as I did before."

"Holy crap, Sheldon, please promise me you won't tell anyone that we're… you know..."

"In a legally defined relationship?"

It was better than him saying "married", she thought with a sigh of relief. "Yeah, that. Can you keep it to yourself?" she asked cautiously, careful not to use the word "secret". That was one of Sheldon's trigger words, almost as bad as "insane". If anyone asked him to keep a secret, he was instantly seized by an irresistible compulsion to blab to anyone who would listen.

To her relief, he nodded. "As agreed, for the present, we will merely tell them that we are dating."

"Good. I think we should have everyone over for pizza and video games. We can tell them it's a housewarming party for Leonard and Priya. That way, we'll be sure they all show up."

"Will you invite Amy?" he asked.

"Sure, babe, if you want her to be there. She's still your friend, right?" Penny ventured a longer look at his face, trying to figure out what he was thinking. "I mean, I'm pretty sure she wanted more from you, but that could just be because you're the first guy that's ever paid any attention to her."

"I'm sure you're aware that she attempted to manipulate me into a romantic relationship. When that didn't succeed, she started dating Stuart instead. So I believe that she has, to use a colloquial phrase, moved on."

"Good," Penny sighed. Her friendship with Amy was based more on guilt than any real sense of connection, but she didn't want to hurt her feelings.

She glanced over at Sheldon. They were dating. She was in a real, honest-to-God relationship with Sheldon Cooper, PhD, and she was still a little in shock. But then she realized that whatever apprehension she was feeling must be multiplied by a thousand for him. She was his first… everything. The real surprise was how well he was handling the situation.

Penny pulled Sheldon closer as she kissed him. His hands were splayed across her back, and their knees were touching as she cuddled up next to him on the leather couch. After almost a week of dating, he was finally getting comfortable with the idea of kissing her. She was starting to feel like he really was her boyfriend, even if she hadn't been in a relationship this tame since junior high. She'd quickly realized that was exactly what he needed: to start out slow and easy. The gradual pace of their relationship was driving her crazy, but it was paying off as he got used to letting her kiss him. Sometimes, he even initiated. Penny had started setting her alarm so she could see him - and kiss him goodbye - before he left in the mornings for work. By the third morning, he had a steaming mug of coffee waiting for her. She was so grateful that she might have overdone it a little when she kissed him goodbye. She had given that full lower lip of his just the tiniest nibble and then whispered she would be thinking about him all day. He said goodbye and had walked to the front door. His hand was on the doorknob when he suddenly turned, strode back and kissed her again. His messenger bag bumped against her hip as he buried his hands in her hair. It took a great deal of self control, but she hadn't traced her tongue across his lower lip or hooked a leg over his hip. Instead, she just smiled and said she'd see him when she got home after work. He'd waited up for her and had sent her several impatient texts, wanting to know when she was going to be home.

His mother had visited once and confided to Penny that her youngest son was like a little baby deer. "You just have to let him come to you," Mary Cooper had said. In Penny's experience, there were some guys that didn't like women to make the first move. She usually didn't have the time of day for guys like that, but Sheldon… well, it was different with him. He was her best friend. He was the guy she wanted to curl up on the sofa with and listen to him talk about his day. She still had only the faintest idea what his research was about, besides something to do with string theory. She decided that the next time he tried to explain it to her, she was really going to make her best effort to understand.

The housewarming party was scheduled for the Friday night after they got back from Vegas, and the whole week had been wonderful. No one knew they were together, and although there wasn't much sneaking around now that Leonard had fully moved out, Penny still felt rather naughty knowing that she was kissing Sheldon in secret every chance she got. One day, she had even stopped by Caltech on her way to work (even though Caltech was in the opposite direction from the Cheesecake Factory). She had texted Sheldon that she was out in the parking lot. When he located her car in the back of the lot, she told him to get in.

"I just wanted to say goodbye before I went to work," she said. He caught on quick. A few minutes later, she was laughing as he used the vanity mirror to try to wipe her lipstick off his mouth. "Just think, next week you won't have to bother. You can just go back to work like that." She laughed harder at his shocked expression.

"That would be very unprofessional," he scolded.

She shot him a sardonic look. "You're wearing a Green Lantern t-shirt to work. How professional is that?"

He gaped at her, and she thought his confusion was so cute, she couldn't help but pull his head down to hers once more.